by K. C. Crowne
I typed a message for all the guys.
I’ll explain everything when I get back. Getting ready to fly back now, see you all in a bit.
I turned my phone back off and closed my eyes with a sigh.
The limo, or maybe it was my clothes, smelled like her. Softly sweet like orange blossoms with a hint of vanilla and musk. Sexy and sweet. It seemed to fit her perfectly.
My heart ached as we pulled up to the airport, and it took everything in me to get out of the limo and walk toward my terminal.
My heart said turn around, but my brain eventually won with logic.
Going home was the best thing for both of us, even if it didn’t feel like it at the time.
Chapter 8
Eva
A month later
“You have the interview with Gerard this afternoon,” Lily reminded me, sitting across from me and staring down at her tablet.
My stomach twisted and turned, and I didn’t feel much like talking to anyone. “Can it be rescheduled?” I asked. Then a minute later, I had second thoughts. “No, wait, I shouldn’t reschedule. This interview is important, I know.”
Lily looked up at me. “Are you okay, Eva? You’ve been acting a little off since the auction.”
“I’m fine, I’m just nervous about this interview. It’s a big one, you know?”
Lily raised her eyebrow and placed the tablet on the desk, leaning toward me. “Eva, as long as I’ve known you, you’ve never been nervous about an interview. Not once. This one is no more important than any others, and if anything, the interview for the auction was bigger than this and you weren’t even slightly concerned.”
I pressed my lips together and stared down at my manicured nails, checking for any chips, as if it mattered. “I might not show it, but I do get nervous sometimes, Lily.”
“Sure, for things requiring public speaking or when dealing with the paparazzi, but Gerard and you have a history together. You’ve done this countless times. I’m sorry if this is none of my business, but I’m worried about you. Is there something going on? I want to help you, Eva.”
I sighed and met Lily’s gaze - briefly - the concern in her eyes made me uneasy. I didn’t like it when people worried about me.
“Does this have to do with Declan?”
“That was weeks ago,” I scoffed, waving a hand as if I could push any and all thought of him away.
“And you haven’t been right for weeks now,” Lily retorted. “Listen, I know I’m just your assistant—”
“You’re more than that, Lily. You’re my friend too.”
“Thank you. I’d like to think we can talk openly about these things,” she said with a small smile. “I saw the way you looked at him, Eva. That’s why your brother and I snuck him back to see you that night. Now I’m wondering if that was such a good idea.”
Lily was my friend, and I should be able to open up to her. She was the only person I could talk to about everything these days.
I blurted out. “My period is late, Lily. And I’m not entirely sure that these nervous flutters in my belly aren’t something more, you know? I’m probably paranoid, but I can’t help but wonder if, well, you know.”
Lily’s eyes widened and she sat back in the chair. “Wow. I had no idea. I thought you were just upset about Declan leaving, but now I understand why you might want to reschedule. Would you like me to set up an appointment at your doctor to get tested?”
I shook my head. “No, I don’t want the media catching me going into the doctor. Too many questions, especially since it’s most likely nothing. Periods are late sometimes, right?”
Lily nodded. “Sure, and I’m sure you practiced safe sex so—” The look on my face made her stop mid-sentence. “Ahh, okay then. You didn’t.”
“I got off the pill a few months back because I’d given up on dating after everything with Kai. I had no intention of hooking up with anyone.” I didn’t add the rest out loud: and when it came to Declan, it was easy to let my guard down and feel safe with him. Just like I did all those years ago.
“Right, so would you like me to get my hands on a pregnancy test? I have my ways, you know.”
“I’d appreciate that, Lily, but I don’t think it’s necessary.”
She stared at me long and hard before standing up. “It’ll ease your mind for the interview,” she stated matter-of-factly. “So I think it’s important, even if you don’t think it’s likely.”
I took a deep breath and my stomach fluttered. I hadn’t been able to hold down my breakfast or lunch in days; the mere thought of food often made me nauseous. I’d tried to attribute it to nerves, but Lily was right - if anything, things were winding down after the auction. It had been a month. Gerard’s interview was mostly for a piece on the Brooklyn Art Center, not even about me so much, more about the good that the money had done in the community. Yet I was as nervous as when they were interviewing me personally for a tell-all and I knew I would have to spend the entire interview diverting their questions. This one was supposed to be easy; I shouldn’t feel so sick.
“Fine,” I muttered under my breath. “Just to be sure.”
“We have some time before Gerard shows up. You sure you want to do the interview?” Lily asked as she handed me the CVS bag. She’d asked one of her friends to run in and get it, telling the friend it was for her so no one would catch my assistant picking up the pregnancy test. Lily was a true friend who knew exactly what needed to be done and did it.
I took the bag from her and shook my head. “Nah, once I get the negative, I’ll feel better, and the interview will go off without a hitch. I would hate to cancel over nothing, especially when the article is helping the art center.”
Lily stared at me with an uncertain look. “Are you sure, Eva? What if it comes back positive?”
“It won’t,” I scoffed, still in denial over the possibility. “One night, I mean, what are the chances?”
Lily pulled out her tablet. “I don’t know, but I can look it up for you, if you’d like.”
“It was a rhetorical question, Lil,” I said with a laugh. I headed for the bathroom door and stepped in, closing myself inside.
A part of me was scared. What if it were positive? No, don’t think like that, Eva. It’s not. There’s no reason even to think that way.
I’d always wanted children, but my current lifestyle didn’t lend itself to raising a family. I was getting older, and sometimes I laid awake at night fretting over my waning fertility. I tried not to think about it too much. When you had the kind of money I did, adoption or surrogacy was always an option too. I had time.
It would be best if I wasn’t. The idea of having Declan’s baby and sorting things out with him from afar was terrifying. It would link me to Liberty, a town I’d been trying to forget about for most of my adult life. No, a child was the last thing I needed.
I opened the packaging and took out the test, making sure to read the instructions before getting down to business. I did what it told me to do, then placed it on the counter and waited.
Lily knocked on the door. “Everything okay in there?”
“Yeah, just have to wait three minutes.”
I opened the bathroom door now that I was decent to make it easier to talk to Lily.
“So I looked up your odds, and I just read something interesting,” she told me. “According to this article, women are more likely to seek out one-night stands when they’re ovulating, so your chances might be—”
“Stop it, Lily,” I said, my stomach fluttering again from stress, I was certain of that. “I’m already feeling anxious. I don’t need you to make it worse.”
“Oh, yes, sorry. I just thought you might be interested in knowing the odds.”
“I’ll find out if I’m pregnant in a few minutes anyway, so it really doesn’t matter.” I let out a dry laugh, trying to relieve the pressure inside me.
“Oh, right, of course,” Lily said, looking away from the tablet and checking her watch instead. “
I think it’s time.”
I thought it was too, but I gave it a few more seconds, just to be sure. And because I wasn’t sure I was ready for the answer either way. Lily’s revelation didn’t make things any easier.
Lily cleared her throat. “Would you like me to…”
“No, I’ve got it,” I said with a sigh, picking up the test.
Lily had bought the ones that literally spelled it out for me, but I still struggled to understand the results. I stared at it in silence for a long time, my heart pounding in my chest.
“What does it say?” Lily asked.
“It has to be a mistake. It must be defective,” I said, placing the test on the counter.
Lily walked over and read it, her eyes widening. “Eva, I also read that pregnancy tests are far less likely to produce false positives as they are false negatives.”
“Well, this one must be defective,” I repeated, tossing the box and the test into the trash can. Then, on second thought, I picked them out. I would have to dispose of them in a way that a janitor couldn’t accidentally discover them. Wouldn’t want the media getting the news of a false positive pregnancy test because I was careless. I wrapped the test in toilet paper and was trying to decide what to do with it when Lily placed a hand on my arm.
“Eva, I think—”
An alarm on her tablet went off, and she frowned.
“What is it?”
“Gerard is here,” she said, looking up at me. “But I think we need to talk about this first. I can tell him we need to reschedule.”
“No, it’s fine,” I said, trying to think about what I could do with the pregnancy test. “I’ll talk to him.”
Lily picked up the CVS bag and held it out to me, and I dropped it inside. “I’ll take care of this, don’t worry.”
“Thanks, Lily,” I said. “You’re a lifesaver.”
I hurried out of the bathroom, and even though my heart was racing, I greeted Gerard in the lobby of the gallery with a smile.
“Good seeing you again, Ms. Stone,” Gerard said, taking my hand and shaking it. He shot me a knowing grin. “The auction was certainly a raving success, in more ways than one. Everyone in town is talking about your mystery buyer.”
I’d tried to avoid the tabloid articles with photos of Declan and myself. I found that not acknowledging the rumors was often the best course of action, since outright denying wouldn’t get you very far. Lily had reminded me that soon enough, there would be someone more famous than myself making the news and no one would even care about Declan and me anymore.
Based on Gerard’s comment, that time wasn’t now.
“Oh yes, it was a nice surprise, and an amazing donation for the arts center, wouldn’t you agree?”
“Yes and based on what they were able to do with the funding, they were clearly very appreciative. If I may ask, though, do you have a history with this Mr. Wilde?”
I raised my brows. “You know his name?” I’d made sure the auction house kept the personal details of all buyers private, even in public auctions such as this.
“Yes, I mean, it’s not hard to find. People talk, Ms. Stone,” Gerard said with a smile.
I saw Lily head out the door, the CVS bag likely tucked in her purse or her jacket pocket, as she waved at me. Knowing that the coast was clear, I said, “Why don’t you join me in my office, Gerard? It’ll be more comfortable, and I can show the beautiful thank you card I got from the center.”
My comment and the thank you card were reminders of what he was there to discuss, while giving me an opportunity to change the subject.
“Sure, lead the way, Ms. Stone.”
We walked toward the back of the gallery.
“So, this mystery buyer, would you care to give us more details on him?” he asked.
I was grateful I wasn’t facing him since I flinched in response to his question. “Uh, no thank you. I respect all my buyers’ privacy, you must understand,” I replied, trying to keep my tone as even as possible.
I opened the door to my office and motioned for him to step inside, and once we were both seated, I handed him the thank you card, which included a photo of all the children who used the center’s facilities with a big sign that said thank you and included all of their names and handprints.
I beamed proudly. “As you’re aware, because of the generous donation, the center was able to give out twenty scholarships to children who might not have access to after-school art programs,” I said. “They’re also adding a new wing, which will be focused on painting. I plan to donate several paintings to decorate the wing, and they have decided to name it the Eva Stone Wing, which wow, I still can’t fathom.”
Gerard looked at the card and smiled. “Yes, I was aware of all that,” he said, placing the card on my desk. “But I’m still curious about Declan Wilde. Not many people can drop that kind of money on a painting, especially someone who is unknown to the art world.”
“What can I say, he’s a very private person. But we aren’t here to talk about Mr. Wilde, are we? We’re here to talk about the arts center.”
“Sure, we are, but I do have some questions. Especially since I see that Mr. Wilde is from a town called…” Gerard checked his notes before continuing, “Liberty, Utah. And after some digging, I see that you are also from Liberty originally.”
I opened my mouth to protest but snapped it shut. I tried to think of an appropriate response, but nothing came to mind. Nothing that wouldn’t get me in trouble, at least.
I finally managed to say, “Mr. Murphy, I apologize, but what does this have to do with the arts center?”
“Well, I just think that it would be interesting to show the world how far you’ve come. A small-town girl from Utah, from a lower-middle class family, is now one of the most famous artists in the country. Don’t you think that would be an inspiration to future artists everywhere?”
I took a few deep breaths to steady myself. I’d done everything in my power to keep my past a secret. I never spoke about it because it didn’t matter, nor did I want to rehash the memories of my childhood over and over again for the press. In all my years of interviews, I’d always managed to stay composed, but with everything going on - from the pregnancy test being positive to everything with Declan and now this - I lost it.
I rose from the desk. “Mr. Murphy, I’ve made it abundantly clear that my personal life is not up for discussion. And since you clearly have a problem with respecting my boundaries, I must cut this interview short. If you have any questions about the Brooklyn Arts Center, please direct them to my assistant, Lily White. I will see you out now.”
Gerard stared at me, and for the first time in my career, he was speechless. He stood up and said brashly, “I’m sorry, I just think it would make for an interesting story.”
“And that’s the problem with journalists, isn’t it? You don’t care about the people - you only care about the stories, about getting people to click on your article. Well, I’m not going to be your latest click bait, and if you’d like to interview me in the future, you need to take a lesson in respecting boundaries.”
I walked out of the office and nearly ran into Lily in the hallway. My cheeks were red, and my eyes were stinging, but I wiped them and tried to remain composed. “Can you please show Mr. Murphy out?”
“Of course,” Lily said, studying my face. “Is everything okay?”
“Everything is fine,” I lied. Through the years, I’d said it so many times, and no matter how often I said it, it didn’t make it so. This time was no different. I walked past Lily, however, needing some time alone.
I took a turn toward the back exit of the gallery, wanting to avoid the door Gerard would be using. I stepped out into the alley, surrounded by trash cans, but at least I was alone. I leaned against the brick building and took a few deep breaths, and it hit me again - that test was positive.
It was a mistake. It had to be, my brain said.
My sick stomach and the taste of bile in my throat made me thi
nk otherwise.
“Shit,” I muttered to myself. “I’m pregnant.”
I fumbled for my phone and tried to think about who I could call. Of all the people in the world, I relied the most on Lily. She was my closest friend. No, scratch that, my only friend because I didn’t make time for a social life. It was all work, no play. I knew a lot of people, but I didn’t allow myself to get close to most of them. Which left me in a pickle.
Who could I confide in?
I scrolled through my contact list until I came to my mom’s number.
We rarely spoke these days, even though she lived in the city as well. She claimed she was always busy, but truthfully, it was just as much on me. I could have called her more too. My finger hovered over the button, and finally, I hit the button to call her.
She answered after a few rings.
“Mom?” I said, feeling the tears rising to the surface again.
“Eva? Is that you?”
“Yes,” I said, clenching my eyes shut. “Do you have a few minutes?”
She let out a disgruntled noise. “I have a few minutes, I guess. What do you need?”
“I just need to talk to someone.”
“So you call me? After you didn’t return my calls a couple weeks ago and couldn’t even get together for brunch?”
“I’m sorry, I had a lot going on.”
“Oh, I know. But you only call when it’s convenient for you, never thinking if it’s convenient for me.” There were some voices in the background, and it hit me that she was likely at work.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t think about that.”
“No, you don’t think about anyone else. You don’t even think about your poor old dad either, but you’ll be regretting that after he dies, I’m sure.”
“After he dies?” I muttered.
“Oh, Matt didn’t tell you?” she said, her voice growing distant.
“Tell me what?”