In Another World With My Smartphone: Volume 11 Premium

by Patora Fuyuhara

  “Yeah, yeah! Hic... We thought of a cool story to justify it so, hic, we’re gonna play down in the mortal world for a bit, woohoo!”

  ...Please don’t be so frank about it! Did you guys seriously use my budding divinity as a convenient excuse to goof off down in the mortal realm?!

  The god of the hunt let out a boisterous laugh all of a sudden.

  “Naaaw, it’s fine! Been a long time since we mortalized ourselves, yeah? We just gotta get used to our bodies for a bit, bwahaha... I tried fighting two of those magic beasties and doing it as a mortal was pretty damn refreshing!”

  “Yahoo, hic! Been forever since I drank anything other than sacramental nectar! I’m getting all boozed up, hic! Hell yeah!”

  “Aye, been a good while since I came an’ ate some’ve the soil’s bounty myself. S’delicious an’ pure.”

  “......” The god of music simply remained silent as his strumming seemed to transmit the sound of contentment. Was he seriously not going to talk?

  “That’s great, you know? Good job on getting his permission!”

  “Yeah, it was no biggie! We said to him that we wanted to go, and he said he didn’t have a problem. He asked us to keep an eye on the little guy over here, so that’s what we’ll do...!”

  “...Little guy?” Gimme a break... I feel like the old man was trying to do something nice, but he sent down a bunch of weird eccentrics to get the job done...

  “Pshaaaw... It’s no problem! C’mon, drink up!” The god of the hunt shoved a wooden cup full of booze in my general direction.

  I guess I can legally drink, sure... but don’t be so pushy about it!

  “...Where’d you guys even get the alcohol from?”

  “Hmhmm~? Hic, we beat up a bunch of nasties for a tribe in the area, and we got aaall these lovely drinkies as a reward. I’m the god of alcohol, hic, but drinking in the higher realm does nothing for me, hic! That’s why I’m happy down here, you feel me? I get all buzzed and shit! Eeheheh!” The god of alcohol’s face was almost entirely red, and she was laughing like an idiot.

  A-Are you drunk already? Is that okay? The fact that you look so young is kinda throwing me off... Your eyes are spinning, are you seriously alright?!

  She unsteadily stumbled toward me and started pulling at my pants leg. I had no idea what she wanted.

  “Hey, Big Brooo, hic... Gimme some snacks, some snacks! Squid... Edamame... Yakitoriii, hic! I know you’re holding out!”

  H-How... How did you know that?! I have all of those things in my [Storage] right now... Is that divinity at work?

  “Oho, sounds yummy. Let’s have some, yeah? We don’t have much to eat here, and we gotta celebrate! We’re super-duper celestial beings, but for now, let’s forget about that and party!”

  “Aye, yer right! I wanna try havin’ a bite of what the ground world has ta offer, too!”

  “.........” The god of agriculture nodded along with the god of the hunt’s words, and the god of music simply intensified his strumming. Karen and Moroha simply looked at each other, then me. Their expressions were one of defeat.

  “Geez Louise... Guess it’s just one of those moments.”

  “It’ll be fine, you know? Bring out the food, Touya.”

  I shrugged my shoulders and listened to my sister, opening [Storage] to pull out a table, several chairs, and a lot of food and drink.

  The god of the hunt started wolfing down the food as the god of agriculture slowly savored his food. The god of alcohol, on the other hand, was alternating sips of booze with handfuls of snacks. The god of music played slow, somber tunes and didn’t eat a single bite. After a while, the god of alcohol shoved a yakitori into his mouth and the tunes became merry. It seemed like he expressed his feelings through the notes he strummed, but frankly, I wished he’d just put the damn thing down.

  Even my sisters began to get drunk and merry, and they joined in on the festivities. I was effectively participating in a divine banquet.

  Frankly, it was weird as hell...

  I wandered away from the main group and picked up my phone.

  “Just what’s the big idea here?”

  “Ah, well... They have been working very hard for very long, you see. I thought perhaps some time off would do them some good.”

  I was on the phone with the old man, the big G himself. Frankly, I wasn’t too keen on my world becoming a pleasure cruise destination for any gods who were needing some downtime. I wondered if it was really alright for gods to be doing that, before remembering that a lot of early earth legends had gods coming down and doing reckless things as well.

  “Come now, boy. I’m sure they will not be a bother. Treat them well, and they will surely behave... I think.”

  You think?! You totally know they’re gonna be a pain!

  “And remember, someday your own divinity will exceed even theirs. It is important to get used to them sooner rather than later.”

  The situation was a little messy for me to internalize, but it kind of felt like a company president telling his son to mingle with the staff in order to get a good feel for work and employees before taking over despite being completely unqualified.

  I sighed slightly, then said my goodbyes to the old man. I had no idea what to do.

  “Big Brooo! Come, hic, dwink! Dwinkies, gotta dwink up and everywon will be happy! Fowget about the transient nature of mortal depwession! Chug, chug, chug!” The god of alcohol laughed obnoxiously as she somehow twined around my leg like a snake.

  You’re trouble, damn it! And how the hell are you dragging me like that?! Don’t tell me you’re some kind of master of the drunken fist... After being forcefully dragged to the table by an overpowered little girl, Karen forced a wooden cup upon me. What the... Your face is all...

  “Hey, Touuuuuuya. How about you tell your big sis just how far you’ve gone with those little girlies, you know? I’m just dying to hear about what you did to them, you know?!” Karen, completely drunk out of her mind, began yammering on and grinning like an idiot.

  “...You’re drunk.”

  “Am not, you know? Am not, am not, am not! Can’t prove it, you know?”

  I can smell it on your breath! You’re acting like a total drunkard. Plus, you’re breathing really heavily too...

  I turned to Moroha for help but she was already unconscious.

  How the hell is the god of swords such a lightweight?! I figured it was better than her suddenly brandishing knives and forks after getting drunk, but I was kind of relying on her to save my ass.

  The god of alcohol kept on chugging, the god of the hunt kept on laughing, the god of agriculture kept on eating, and the god of music kept on strumming. I had nobody to help me.

  Good lord... Are these lunatics really our gods?

  ◇　◇　◇

  We decided that the new arrivals would take on the roles of my uncle and his kids. I didn’t want to add any more siblings, after all.

  I definitely didn’t want the god of agriculture, who looked about forty, to be my brother anyway. Making him my dad would be troublesome from a political perspective.

  Either way, he became my uncle, and the other three became my cousins.

  My uncle was Mochizuki Kousuke. (God of Agriculture).

  His eldest son was Mochizuki Sousuke. (God of Music).

  His eldest daughter was Mochizuki Karina. (God of the Hunt).

  And last but not least, the youngest daughter was Mochizuki Suika. (God of Alcohol).

  Only the god of alcohol looked younger than me, so it gave me an excuse not to be as formal with her.

  When I introduced them to the others, everyone was less surprised by my new relatives and more surprised by the fact that Suika was absolutely blackout drunk. I quickly improvised an excuse on the spot, claiming that if she didn’t drink a shitton of booze, then she’d suffer debilitating spasms due to her mysterious illness. I was pretty sure they bought it.

  According to Leen, dwarven children started drinking around the ag
e Suika resembled. So, though I couldn’t write her off as a dwarf, I just so conveniently happened to remember that her mother was, in fact, a dwarf. What a weird coincidence.

  “Hm... More of your family, then?”

  “Yeah, sorry... It just kind of happened.” I was walking east toward the farmland with Yumina when she suddenly spoke up.

  She and the others knew I came from another world, which meant they also knew my sisters weren’t blood-related. And so, it went without saying that they understood my relation to my uncle and cousins was also not a blood-related arrangement, either. I couldn’t exactly tell them the truth, though.

  “So then... these new relatives are the same as your sisters, yes...?”

  “Ah... Well... I mean, skill-wise, sure. They all have individual talents, but not all of them are combat-related. Karina is a serious huntress though, she’s almost unmatched with a bow.” That was to be expected of the god of the hunt, though. She’d never let her prey escape. She also seemed to be talented with machetes, guns, axes, and snare traps. I briefly wondered if that actually made her better than Moroha, but it likely didn’t. Moroha was specialized in sword combat, while Karina was simply more versatile.

  The four of them quickly got used to life in Brunhild and began to work in their own ways. That was why I was heading over to the farmland. I wanted to see how they were getting on.

  “Oh... I-Isn’t that your uncle now?” Yumina pointed toward a man in the distance, and she was right. He was tilling a field with his hoe. Uncle Kousuke was wiping his brow, the straw hat on his head protecting him from the sun. He looked like he’d worked up quite a sweat, though. His farm clothes were all sweaty. The guy certainly suited the look. But that really went without saying, he was the god of agriculture after all.

  “Mornin’ Touya, Yumina. How’re you two holdin’ up?” He greeted us with a little smile. The man really came off as... unremarkably plain.

  “You’re tilling the field all by yourself? You know you can hire people for that, right...?”

  “Ain’t how I do it, lad. If a man ain’t willin’ to till the soil... then he ain’t worthy’ve tastin’ nature’s bounty... Well, iffin’ I’m bein’ honest that’s a mighty hardline approach ta take... Really, it’s just what I wanna do, aye? I’m happy that we kin reclaim some’ve the wildlands an’ set down the seeds fer harvest.” If he used his divine powers he’d probably be able to get all this done at once, but there wouldn’t be any love or fun in that. Also, he wasn’t allowed, which was a good point too.

  Still, he was definitely living up to his title. I could see he was making the most of his specialized knowledge. He started scattering some stuff along the fields, and I asked him what it was. Apparently, it was bone meal made from the ground bones of magical beasts. He said that the magical qualities of the creatures’ bodies did uh... something to promote... something or other. I didn’t quite get it. Lakshy the Alraune, on the other hand, seemed to take great attention to this detail.

  He wasn’t just willing to till or sow, either. He also said he’d tend to the rice paddies. He was such a plain and simple man it was almost hard to imagine he was actually a member of the divine pantheon.

  We returned from the farmlands only to notice an unusual sound coming from the central plaza in town.

  “Is something going on...?” As we got closer, we determined the sound to be music. I had an inkling as to who it was.

  I pushed through the crowd and saw the face of the god of music, my cousin Sousuke. He was skillfully playing a guitar in front of a water fountain.

  The guitar was one of the instruments I’d made on Sakura’s request. He must have taken it and brought it out here to play. I first made a piano, but quickly moved on to flutes, trumpets, castanets, and all kinds of other things. I kind of went a little overboard and might have quietly challenged myself to make every instrument imaginable. I didn’t know how to play them though, so they ended up piling up and going unused. I left them in the knight order barracks since a couple of the recruits ended up having more than a passing interest.

  Sousuke’s performance ended, punctuated by a rapturous applause. Some of the people were even moved to the point of tears. I was surprised his performance was that amazing...

  “What a wonderful display...!”

  “Yeah, I don’t think there’s anyone that can outdo him...” We left Sousuke as he started up his encore, and walked through the streets past the guild. I happened to turn my head and look towards the bar, only to see...

  “What the...?” There were a bunch of guys at the entrance to the bar, all steaming drunk.

  They were all on the floor too, so I stepped over them and checked inside. Just as I expected, Suika was there chugging booze like no tomorrow.

  There was a man sitting opposite her, clutching his glass. He was wasted.

  “Oh, Big Brooo! Wanna have a dwinking contest? When I win, set the money down there, gahahaha!”

  “...Why would I do that?” Suika was merrily swaying her glass around, but I was just plain annoyed.

  The other patrons were either unconscious or unsteadily heading for the door. They must’ve all tried to challenge Suika, only to be drunk under the table in no time. I wondered just how long this had been going on for.

  “You’re laaate, so we’re gonna start you with three cupsh, hic...”

  “I’m not here to drink, get it? Enough of this.”

  “Aww...”

  I took Suika’s drink out of her hand. She was absolutely the worst out of the four who had arrived. After that, I took her with me and apologized to the barkeep. He actually seemed fine, though. Apparently, he’d made a tidy profit from all the drinking that had gone on.

  “Geez... Please don’t drink this much.”

  “It’s beehn awhile since, hic, sincesh I had a drink, you dummy! Lemme jush cut loose a little... How about Yoomina and I get close over shome whishkey, hic!”

  “I-I’m quite fine, thank you...” Yumina smiled very politely and gave a dismissive handwave.

  I wondered what the bar was thinking by letting someone so little drink so much, or even at all, but apparently, she had just flashed the royal name of Mochizuki and no questions were asked.

  Seemed they weren’t sure whether or not to believe her, so they had to call some knights over to verify the situation. I made a mental note to apologize to those guys later on...

  “Oh, Touya and the others, huh?” Karina walked out of the guild as we walked out of the neighboring tavern.

  She registered with the guild pretty quickly and immediately set to work doing hunting-based quests. She didn’t see the need to delve into dungeons or seek out treasure. For her, the thrill was in the hunt... and in eating the products of said hunts.

  It seemed like she’d just got done hunting, as well. There was a very large bird in her hands.

  “Caught you guys at a good time. This is dinner for tonight, tasty stuff. Give it over to Crea for me, wouldja?”

  “Roger.”

  Karina kept bringing in all kinds of wild game recently, so our diet was gradually growing a little more varied. I opened up [Storage] and stashed the bird in there.

  “If I’m honest, I wanna hunt bigger beasties than these. There’s nothing so spooky in Brunhild though, so you better take me out into the world later!”

  “Sure, why not. I’ll do a little investigating into Mismede’s hunting grounds for you.” Brunhild didn’t have much in the way of large monsters, but I was certain that Mismede would have them in abundance. The Sea of Trees was also filled with stuff that’d make any big game hunter squeal with glee.

  It seemed like the four Gods had settled into Brunhild perfectly... Man, I’m really happy they’re all helping in their own ways. Except for Suika. Suika is the worst.

  “Hmph, hic! You thinking of something ruuude, Big Bro?!”

  ...Damn. She can read my thoughts as well as Karen. I guess I really can’t treat these guys lightly...

 
◇　◇　◇

  “So... what did you learn about the island?”

  “A few bits and pieces. Culturally, they’re not too far from us. But there aren’t many people there, and they don’t have much in the way of living space. I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that’s due to all the Behemoths, though. They can’t really do anything to expand beyond their protective barrier, but they do have a couple of unshielded outposts.”

  I answered Leen’s question as I munched down some ramen that Crea had prepared. I’d looked up the recipe online and she replicated it perfectly. I was glad. The soup was a little bit watery, but it tasted damn great. She even managed to replicate the narutomaki, so I felt blessed.

  I should make her do gyoza next time... Probably won’t taste quite the same as the stuff you can get in convenience stores, though.

  Leen and myself aside, I shared this room with Elze, Linze, and Yae. Yumina was spending time with her little brother Yamato, Hilde was off in Lestia seeing her older brother, and Sue was at home with her parents.

  Lu was learning how to cook almond-based treats with Crea, and Sakura was helping out Fiana with school-related activities.

  “So the barrier’s still intact... Since people are living there and surviving...” Linze muttered as she ate her ramen, taking a moment to blow on it. She wasn’t very good at using chopsticks, so she used a fork instead.

  “The barrier itself is covering the exterior island, the four main cities in each cardinal direction, and the temple in the middle. I’m going to assume that the temple is probably the source, and probably something the Sage of Hours left behind.”

  That would make it an artifact. It would also mean they couldn’t change the areas that were being protected. Their safe zones were inherently limited, which meant they couldn’t expand. In other words, the people would be attacked by Behemoths as soon as they wandered from the safe zone. Still, the Behemoths were too big to get much out of eating people...

  It was more likely that they’d be focused on hunting each other, or magical beasts. Though, if people decided to build outside the barriers, then the Behemoths would trash anything built out there. They couldn’t get much more than an outpost created, for fear of destruction.