by S. E. Law
“Of course she knows, son,” he says. “You may as well have it tattooed on your face.”
I shake my head.
“That obvious, huh?”
Ron chuckles to himself.
“Son, when Blythes fall in love, they fall hard. Now go to her. I can see that something’s on your mind, and the kids are fine here. Go.” I start to pack up my poles and he waves me away. “I’ll take care of it,” he says. “Something tells me that if you don’t leave now, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life. Go!” The command in his voice trumps my concerns, and I scramble from the shore back to the cabin. I grab a few things, throw them into a bag, and then rush into my car.
During the drive, I try to dial some florists, but it’s useless. I can’t manage my phone while driving, and the florists who answer say they can’t deliver anything today. I give up, throwing the phone down with exasperation. Why hasn’t Regina called me?
I review the past few weeks and search for any sign that she was unhappy with the way things went. Yes, our love was unexpected, but I thought she enjoyed it. I thought she loved being ravished in my arms every night. Was I too rough? Did I manhandle her one too many times? I did spank her on occasion, but it never led to more than a few red marks. Then I wince. One morning, she had the imprint of a man’s hand on her right hip, and I felt terrible. I pressed a kiss to it, tracing it gently with my tongue. I apologized, but Regina merely stroked my head and said it was fine. She said she liked being marked by me, and my chest almost burst with pride at those words.
But maybe she’s not upset about the physical intimacy; she’s upset at the lack of emotional connection. Maybe I haven’t done enough to make her feel cherished and loved. God knows I haven’t told her I love her, even though I can feel the words at the tip of my tongue. There were so many times that I wanted to say something, but then I couldn’t get the words out. A child would interrupt our conversation, or she’d laugh gently and give me a kiss. It would have been so easy, and yet I didn’t do it.
I curse at myself. Fuck this! How could I have been so stupid? Something’s happened to Regina, and now I may never get the chance. I drive like a madman back to my mansion, only to remember that Regina’s not here. Where the fuck is she?
“Ursula!” I call. “Ursula!”
The older woman comes gliding out from the kitchen, patting her gray hair.
“Mr. Blythe? Is that you?”
“Ursula, get Regina Frank’s home address. Her parents’ address. Whatever the nanny agency has.”
My housekeeper looks shocked, but she merely inclines her head.
“Of course, sir.”
She disappears and I wait impatiently. I don’t even move from the foyer. Instead, I stand in the lavish entryway, tapping my foot in the silence.
Finally, Ursula reappears.
“Here you go, sir,” she says, handing a piece of paper to me. “I believe this is her home address. Is there anything else I can help you with?”
I glance at the words on the paper. Good. This location isn’t more than twenty minutes away.
“No, I got it,” I say, bounding down the front steps and back to the car. “Thanks!” I call before slamming the door shut. Then like a daredevil, the SUV squeals out of the circular driveway and down the lane. I look like a deranged criminal, but I don’t care. I need to find my beautiful girl and figure out what went wrong.
13
Ryan
As I drive, my mind whirls. Could I have misread everything? Why is Regina avoiding me now? Does she hate me, and I never even realized it?
Maybe it was a mistake not to take her to my parents’ place with us. Maybe she thinks I’m ashamed of her and don’t want my parents to know about her. Immediately, I dismiss that thought for its absurdity. Regina is gorgeous and amazing, and my family would adore her. They already love her just from what the kids say, and they’ve never even met her. How could she possibly worry about that?
But why didn’t I take her with us? Because she needed a break? She never mentioned that to me. I just assumed it was true because she spent an entire month cooped up in the house with five rambunctious children and an excessively horny boss. Any woman might appreciate some time to rest.
My brain goes crazy as my hands grip the steering wheel. Fuck this. I’ll get to the bottom of the mystery soon enough. Yet, my anger swells again. What the fuck is up with her silence? One moment, she was wrapping her body around me, cooing into my ear. Then, the next, this. What is it called again? Ghosting? Fuck this! It’s just like my fucking ex-wife, who disappeared and left the kids without a trace.
“Stop it, Ryan,” I warn myself. That comparison is unfair, and now I’m just letting my thoughts run away. Regina is nothing like Sandy. My foot eases off the pedal and I try to regain my calm. Fifteen minutes later I’m outside her parents’ home.
Her car is in the driveway, and I realize that most likely, she’s home. She’s probably totally fine, and has been ignoring me because she wants to. My anger returns in spite of myself. How dare she not return my calls? How can she treat me like this? Am I not even worthy of a polite break-up conversation? My fists tighten again, and suddenly, I slam the steering wheel in a blind rage. Ouch, that hurt. This can’t go on.
Slowly, I get out of the car. I feel like a man who’s strangely awake and asleep at once. I make myself walk calmly towards the front door, even though I seem to be floating more than walking. But before I can knock, the door opens, and Regina’s there.
She’s a vision. She’s pale, and her mahogany locks are tied back, but otherwise, she’s so gorgeous that my heart seizes. A huge oversize sweatshirt covers her shape, and she’s got leggings on with Mickey Mouse socks, but I don’t care. This is my woman, and I need her.
God, she’s beautiful.
“Hi Ryan,” she says, as if she’s not surprised to see me. “How are you?”
Her gentle voice demolishes my control.
“Why the hell aren’t you answering my calls?” I demand. “What the hell is going on? Are we in high school, for Christ’s sake? Are we little kids who play fucking games now?”
Gentle is needed, but I am not capable of gentle right now.
“What the hell was the last month?” I demand, my voice furious. Suddenly, I remember I’m on her parents’ front stoop, in her parents’ neighborhood, and take a deep breath. “Let me in, Regina, or so help me god, I will shout so loud that your neighbors call the cops.”
She nods, her pink lips quivering. I step inside and close the door behind me and look around. It’s a cozy little set-up with needlepoint mounted on the walls with sayings such as “Home is Where the Heart Is” and “Bless This Home And All Who Enter.”
I grit my teeth. I would love nothing more than to take Regina home with me now. To my home. But first, we need to work some things out.
“Are your parents here?”
She shakes her head.
“Dad’s at golf, and Mom’s at a garden show.” Her voice is oddly quiet, and oddly wistful too, but I can’t imagine why.
I take a deep breath.
“Regina, what’s going on? I thought we loved one another. I thought we had something good going. I thought you loved my kids, and that we were working to something that could be …”
My words halt when I her open laptop on the dining room table. She’d obviously been in the middle of browsing because the screen shows a design for a baby nursery with yellow walls, dancing barn animals and clouds with smiles. There are other tabs open, and my guess is that they lead to more baby items. I look at her face. She was already ashen and worn. Now she looks even more pale and faint.
“You’re pregnant,” I blurt.
Regina looks like she is going to cry. She puts her hand over her belly as though she can somehow hide what’s growing inside of her from me. She doesn’t respond, though, and keeping my composure is all but impossible now.
“Are you pregnant?” I demand again, my own voice shaking a bit.
Her bottom lip trembles as she nods. Then, she straightens, and there’s determination in her eyes. “Yes, I am, but you don’t have to worry about anything, Ryan,” she says. “We don’t want anything from you. I won’t even put your name on the birth certificate, if that’s what you want. I’ll take care of the baby myself, and with my parents’ assistance, I can do it.”
She continues talking, but I can’t hear. We’re having a baby together? My heart stops and my knees feel weak. My hand literally goes to the wall so that I don’t stagger and fall to the floor.
“We made a baby,” she continues. Her voice sounds a bit far off, but it’s slowly growing louder in volume. “We made love so many times at your house and you know that we used protection, but there were a few times when we just got caught up in the moment.”
I’m reeling. I can’t think clearly. She has my baby inside of her. She has my baby inside of her! Meanwhile, Regina keeps talking. Her voice is louder now, and I can hear the words better over the ringing in my ears.
“I know what this means to you,” she says. “I remember how you said that you didn’t want any more kids, and that’s okay. I respect your decision, Ryan, and recognize that this baby is mine to shelter on my own. Again, it was so stupid of me not to pay better attention, and I don’t expect anything from you. I’m not going to try to sue you or force you into anything. I’ll sign anything your lawyers draft and—”
Suddenly, I leap into motion. One moment, I’m leaning listlessly against the wall like I’m going to fall over, and the next, I’m standing in front of her with enraged eyes.
“My name sure as hell will be on that birth certificate,” I snarl. “If you even think of leaving me off, I will …”
Her chin goes up.
“You will what, Ryan?” she asks. “Claim this baby? Take him or her as your son or daughter? Acknowledge them, and raise them with Rico, Ronnie, Rebecca, Rufus and Rachel?”
That does it. She’s baiting me, and I don’t give a damn.
“Yes!” I roar. “That’s what I want for my child. I want this baby. I want to have a child with you. Why would you ever think otherwise?”
That shuts Regina up. She stands there looking at me, her brown eyes confused.
“I’m sorry?”
“Will you shut the hell up?” I roar. “Jesus Christ! Why would you think you have to take care of everything? I. Want. This. Baby. Why would you think otherwise?”
Now, she’s utterly lost. She swallows hard and says, “Ryan, I distinctly remember having a conversation with you where you said you were done expanding your family. You already have five children and it’s too much for you. You’re exhausted, crazed, and upset that your children don’t have a mother. You’re a stressed single dad with an empire to manage. It’s okay. You don’t have to change your views because I’ll take care of this baby. You don’t have to do anything.”
This woman just doesn’t get it no matter how many times I try to make my point. I literally seize her shoulders and give her a small shake. Her head bobbles back and forth, and immediately, I let go.
“Regina. I love you. I want this baby. I want to be with you and the baby both. Anything I might have said in the past was just in jest. Yes, I’m a stressed single father, but everyone complains about their kids. Everyone says that they’re exhausted and have had it with their children. Everyone bitches non-stop about how they have no time for themselves anymore, and how they’re broke and defeated because of their kids. But now that you’re here, and you’re pregnant, I want this to happen. I love you, and I don’t know why you can’t seem to hear me.”
Finally, my words seem to get through and the pretty brunette’s mouth snaps shut.
I step forward and I point at her screen.
“If you want the nursery to look like that, then it will look like that. If you want an oak crib, we’ll have an oak crib. If you want a goddamned solid gold crib, then we’ll have a solid gold crib. If you want to me to import mahogany highchairs crafted by indigenous lemur herders from Madagascar, you’ll have those too. I want what you want, sweetheart. But most of all, I want you.”
She still can’t speak, and one hand rises up to cover her heart. I can see her pulse beating delicately in her throat and resist the urge to press my lips to it.
“Don’t you get it, sweetheart? I want to be with you. Please, Regina. Please tell me that you want to be with me too.”
At that, the beautiful woman flies into my arms. She throws her arms around neck and presses her face into my chest. Sobs erupt from her throat, and I stroke her curls.
“Sweetheart, don’t cry,” I murmur. To my surprise, my cheeks are wet as well. “We’ll figure it out, okay? I know this is your first time as a mommy, and it’s scary, but it’s going to be fine. You’re going to be a wonderful mother, and I’ll be there beside you the entire time.”
She sobs even harder then, and I pull away to gaze into her eyes.
“Will you tell me what’s wrong?” I ask, my own voice hoarse. “Having a baby is a blessing, sweetheart, and I’m sorry, but I can’t see it any other way. I want you, and I want you to be happy. Your happiness means everything to me.”
That only makes Regina cry even harder, but after a few minutes, she’s able to speak again.
“I just … well, I didn’t think you wanted us,” she hiccups. “Not me nor the baby. I figured I was just a nanny who got under your skin, and whom you had a few good times with. I didn’t think you’d want to keep us.”
“Oh, I want to keep you,” I growl, pulling her soft form close against me again. “You and the child both. I’m sorry I said all those stupid things about not wanting more kids, but I never meant any of it. Especially not if you’re the mother of my child.”
Regina pulls back for a moment, her face still tear-stained but beginning to show the first rays of hope.
“I just thought … well, you were so angry about what happened with your ex, and how your children don’t have a mother. I didn’t think you’d want to take the chance again.”
I pull her close and press my lips to her forehead, inhaling Regina’s sweet floral scent.
“No, baby. Don’t you see? With you, I get the best of both worlds. I get to be a father again, and my five children get a mother too. You’re wonderful honey, and the kids love you. They’ve been talking about you non-stop since we’ve been at my parents’ place, and even my parents are getting antsy to meet you.”
“They are?” she asks, looking at me with wonder and astonishment.
I chuckle.
“Yes. Ron and Margaret could tell that I was restless, and they intuited that it was the beautiful nanny whom they’ve been hearing about. They could tell that I wanted to leave, and finally, my dad gave me the go-ahead. The kids are totally fine,” I say. “My sister’s there with her family, so there’s more than enough adult supervision. But sweetheart, they were right. I’ve lost my heart to you, and couldn’t stay away any longer. I love you Regina.”
For the first time during this conversation, my beautiful girl smiles. It’s a gorgeous smile, shy and sweet, and yet so happy too. And then, she says the words I’ve been longing to hear.
“I love you too, Ryan,” she breathes. “I’ve loved you since the moment we met.”
“I know,” I whisper in her ear. “It’s because I’m irresistible.”
Regina laughs now, and her mellifluous voice makes my heart contract. I pull her tight, and sweep her into a deep, drugging kiss that has us both aroused within seconds because this is the woman I was meant to be with. Regina is my heart, my laughter, and my love, and with a new baby on the way, my life is complete.
Epilogue
Regina
Two years later.
A gentle breeze pushes a tuft of fine black hair into Royce’s face. The baby frowns and rubs his forehead, not quite sure what’s tickling him. I gently brush the hair out of his beautiful blue eyes, and he smiles up at me. I smile back, amazed beyond words t
hat I’m so lucky.
“Hi baby,” I coo, as my son sits on the blanket. “How are you feeling today?
But before Royce can answer, a voice pipes up from my left.
“Mommy!” Rachel calls. I love my new name now. I turn to see the little girl scrambling up the little hill where Royce and I are sitting. “Mommy!” she calls again, stopping a few feet in front of me. “Mom-” the third cry is interrupted when Rufus barrels into her, knocking both of them headlong into me. I pull Royce out of harm’s way just in time. At nine years old, the twins are still as incorrigible as ever.
“Guys, be careful!” I say laughing. “You almost hit your little brother!”
The twins instantly turn to Royce and begin fawning over him.
“Oh, poor baby!” Rufus says, wrapping him in a bear hug. The baby chortles and waves his little arms in the air.
“We’re sorry, Roycey-Woycey, we’d never hurt you!” Rachel says, smothering him with kisses. “We love you!”
Royce giggles at the attention and returns Rachel’s kiss with his own wet, open-mouthed baby version. Rachel pulls away and wipes her cheek comically.
“Ewww, Royce! You’re gross!” she says. She and Rufus start laughing, and then Rachel gives Royce a peck right on the tip of his nose to show him she didn’t mean it.
I can’t help but laugh. They’re so adorable it hurts, and I can’t believe I’m so fortunate. Most people would only be a mother to one child at this stage of their lives, but instead, I’m a mother to six. Even though we’re not technically married, Rico, Rufus, Rachel, Rebecca, and Ronnie were thrilled when Ryan and I told them they’d soon have another sibling. They jumped up and down with glee, and immediately began to ask questions.
“Can I name him?”
“How do you know it’s a him? It could be a girl.”
“I’ve always liked the name Rover! Can we name him that, Daddy?”