“Nice?” Rand waggled his eyebrows at her. She knew he was teasing.
“Nice?”
“Cori, what’s up with you?” he asked.
I’m having a mental breakdown because I’ve only just realized that you mean more to me than my job. And no person had ever meant that much to her. That’s not true—her birth parents had meant that much until she’d turned six and had her illusions shattered.
It wasn’t the earrings, she realized. It was her. She’d never felt like this before. Rand stared at her as if she were going to freak out at any second. Pull it together. “Nothing. I knew I should have worn the gold earrings.”
He led her to the car, then went around to climb in, but when he sat down he didn’t start the engine. He turned to face her, one arm resting on the back of her seat.
“We’re not leaving until you tell me what’s wrong,” he said.
The sincerity in his tone touched her. He cared about her, but then she’d already guessed that. There was something different about Rand when they were together. And maybe that was the thing that scared her so deeply.
“I don’t know. I’ve never had any problem picking out clothing, but tonight I changed three times. I’m sure I’m wearing the wrong earrings, and for the first time ever I’m not thinking about my career.”
“Sweetheart, you are gorgeous in whatever you wear, and earrings on your ears only enhance that image.” He rubbed her neck while he spoke.
She knew he meant the touch to be soothing, but instead he was starting a fire throughout her body. It had been too long since they’d touched. Too long since he’d lifted one eyebrow at her in that lord-of-the-manor way of his. Too long since she’d touched him.
“Is that a line?” she asked.
“Is it working?”
She laughed and nodded. “Thanks.”
“Nervous about the Cortells?” he asked.
“This is my first big account. I don’t want to blow it.”
“You won’t.”
“I wish I had your confidence.”
“You do,” he said.
He started the car and drove them to the Samba Room. The entire way she let his faith in her flow over her. It was heady to know that for once she had someone else on her side.
The Cortells were as affable as Angelica had said they were. Despite Corrine’s worries in the car, she was effervescent, easily charming both Jeff and Alice. Corrine knew her job, and as Rand watched her interact with her clients he had a glimpse of what the future could hold for her. Tarron wasn’t like other Fortune 500 companies in which women faced a glass ceiling. Paul Sterling was well aware of what the opposite sex could do and would promote on merit regardless of sex.
Rand was a little awed to realize that Corrine would probably be a VP in six months when Ross Chambers retired. Corrine had worked hard for her success, and he realized as he watched her work the table that she deserved a man who could share that with her. A man who brought to the relationship the skills needed to be successful in life.
Could he be that man?
They’d ordered wine with dinner. An expensive label from California and the smell of the alcohol had overwhelmed him. The lure of it was almost too much temptation. He had a glass sitting in front of him. He drained his water glass about five times but still he was thirsty.
The tension that had been getting stronger these past weeks without Corrine tightened even more and he felt that he wasn’t going to escape it. He reached for his wine glass. Just one sip and he’d be okay. One sip and he’d— Hell. He stood abruptly. He needed a hell of a lot more than one damned sip of some wimpy wine.
“Rand?”
“Please excuse me,” he said. With all the damned water he drank, let them think he was going to the bathroom.
He stalked out of the restaurant and found company with the smokers. Ha, his fellow addicts condemned by society to hang out in the front of establishments and puff away.
A guy in an Armani suit offered him a smoke but Rand declined. Smoking had never been his vice.
“My wife thinks cigarettes are gauche. Yours?” he asked.
“I’m not married.”
“Even though I’ve been relegated outside I don’t regret marrying her.”
Paul Sterling had shared a similar sentiment with Rand. Seemed happily married men didn’t mind making sacrifices for the women they loved. Rand didn’t expect to ever be in their crowd. Being happily married would require him to talk about the things he held most private, and he couldn’t imagine having that conversation with any woman, especially Corrine.
The Armani-suit guy left. Rand stared out at the parking lot and the busy cars on Sand Lake Road. He usually handled the presence of liquor better than he was doing tonight. For some reason his defenses were down and he thought he understood why. Corrine.
“Rand?”
He glanced over his shoulder to see Corrine standing there. She looked like salvation, with the restaurant lights shining behind her. Illuminating her as if she’d come from heaven to rescue him. But he’d found out long ago that no one was coming to rescue him. He would have to be the one to rescue himself.
“Yeah?” he asked. One time he’d like to be able to face his demon and feel as if he’d come out the winner. One time he’d like to be able to feel like the strong man he knew everyone expected him to be. One time he wanted…hell he wanted to feel normal.
“You okay?” she asked.
He nodded. Somehow saying no would make him feel like a wimp. “Just needed a breath of fresh air.”
She crossed to him, standing so close he could smell her perfume. Damn, if she wasn’t the sexiest woman he’d ever met. She was still in business mode, so it wasn’t as if she were trying to seduce him, yet he was seduced. Her scent, her looks, her touch on his wrist. Soft and warm, reminding him that for tonight at least he wasn’t alone. “Long day?”
Lying seemed like a sin in this moment. And since she was looking like his angel he knew better than to commit another sin. He wanted to touch her. Needed to feel her skin under his fingers so that he’d know, really know he wasn’t alone. But he didn’t want to turn her into his latest addiction. Didn’t want to make her into his salvation because then they’d never be equals.
“Not really.”
“Oh. Then what’s up? Jeff and Alice thought you were in the men’s room but I saw you come out here.”
“I just needed some fresh air.”
“You already said that.”
“I’m saying it again.”
“Well, it doesn’t ring true.”
“Sometimes I need to get away. You were handling things.”
“Are you claustrophobic?” she asked.
“No. Not that.” He rubbed the bridge of his nose.
Silence fell between them. “Jeff and Alice are moving into the cigar room. They invited us to join them for cognac and cigars.”
He nodded. Of course. Cognac was never his favorite drink, but the urge tonight was almost inescapable. He breathed deeply and clenched his hands. He would master this. The same way he’d mastered it countless times before. He was just tired tonight, his guard lowered by Corrine.
She took his hand. He didn’t feel so alone anymore. She rubbed her finger along his knuckles and then dropped a kiss on his hand. “Come on. Whatever is bothering you we’ll work out later.”
He followed her back into the restaurant. Into the cigar room where four snifters sat. It had been a long time since he’d had anyone by his side. In fact, the last time he hadn’t felt alone had been before Charles had died. He wasn’t sure he trusted Corrine to stay.
He pushed the cognac aside and lit a cigar with hands that shook. Deep inside a voice whispered that one sip wouldn’t hurt him. But Rand resisted, instead taking a long pull on the Cuban-style cigar.
Hell, he knew enough about fate to know she wouldn’t, but in this moment he needed the lifeline she provided with her soft touch and understanding eyes. He knew he was going
to have to tell her something of his past. Knew he needed to tell her before too much time had passed, but he also knew that once he did tell her, things between them would never be the same.
“Want to come in for a drink?” Corrine asked. Rand had been quiet all the way home. And though it was after midnight, the last thing she felt like was sleeping.
She was too up from dinner. Rand had put on a Steely Dan CD on the ride home. The mellow, jazzy sounds of “Babylon Sister” still played in her ears, enhancing her mood. She felt the sensuous strains of the music deep inside her.
Rand pulled into her driveway and let the car idle. He’d been in a strange mood all the way home. She wasn’t sure what was going on with him.
When she’d stepped outside the restaurant earlier and found him standing there—she couldn’t be sure but he seemed unsure of himself. She’d wanted to wrap him in her arms but knew he wouldn’t tolerate that. He hadn’t that night he’d woken from a nightmare. Frankly, she had no idea what he needed from her.
She hoped it was more than sex. But he’d been avoiding her and the doubts crept back in. Tonight she was in a weird spot. She felt at the height of her personal power—as a woman, as a businesswoman, as a lover.
Angelica had explained her relationship with Paul to Corrine one night when they’d met for margaritas. Angelica said she believed all relationships were yin and yang. Tonight she’d felt at the pinnacle of her spiritual self. Did that mean that Rand had to be at the bottom of his?
She wasn’t sure.
But she sensed that sending him home alone wasn’t a good idea. Besides, she wanted him to stay. She’d realized that she needed him in her life.
Even though he’d been physically avoiding her he’d called her every night to make sure she got home okay. He’d left little messages on her voice mail. It made her feel less alone in the world. And she was afraid to trust that sensation and afraid not to.
“I’ll come in,” Rand said. He turned off the car and walked around to open her door.
She could have gotten out of the car without him, but it was a nice gesture and one she noticed he liked to do. He put his hand on her elbow as they walked toward the house. It sounded silly even when she said it to herself, but he made her feel cherished. After a lifetime of being abandoned that was a potent feeling.
However, making her feel cherished was not all he did for her. After a mere second there was a distinctly sexual buzz in the air. Her blood started to flow more heavily through her veins and her entire body felt sensitized by his touch.
Her breasts were fuller and her breaths shorter. The scent of him surrounded her, and she realized she wanted to celebrate her successful dinner meeting in a very physical way.
She fumbled with her key and realized she was nervous tonight. The last time they’d made love he’d left. Why didn’t that bother her more? She hadn’t thought about it until this moment, but she realized that she expected him to leave. Everyone always did.
It wasn’t just the series of foster homes she’d grown up in or the friends she’d made over the years who’d returned north when their jobs in Florida were finished. It was the entire timbre of her life. No one had ever been consistent in her life.
And she very much wanted Rand to be. But until she took the risk of letting him know she wanted him to stay, she’d never be able to get what she secretly wanted. She’d always formed emotional attachments, though she’d never wanted to acknowledge them. She’d hidden those feelings and put on her moving-on face more than once and then cried in the privacy of her own space.
This time she wanted to acknowledge her feelings for Rand. To find out if he felt the same. Then make some plans…for the future.
“The moon is nice tonight,” he said. He’d taken his suit jacket off in the car and now he rolled his sleeves up.
“Yes, it is,” she said, tipping her head back. The night sky shone with stars and the full moon. “It’d be a perfect night for a shuttle launch.”
“I have a great view from my patio. The next time there’s a night launch we’ll watch it together.”
She’d never been to his house. She wondered what it was like. She was still reeling from the thought that she wanted more than something temporary with him. She wanted to make a commitment to him and have him make one to her. Oh, God, what was she thinking?
“Will we still be together?” she asked. Damn, she was usually a lot better at screening her thoughts before she spoke.
He didn’t say anything for a few minutes. He moved to the porch railing and leaned back against it. Despite his casual pose there was a tension in the air. “I don’t know.”
“Sorry. I don’t know where that came from,” she said. But she did know. It came from her heart. She’d spent a lifetime ignoring her emotional impulses, but suddenly she couldn’t anymore. Suddenly it seemed more important to react and feel everything that she could with Rand before he was gone.
“Don’t you?” he asked. He didn’t sound removed. He sounded as moved by these emotions as she was.
“I just said I didn’t,” she said, because she wasn’t about to trust…him, she realized. She wasn’t ready to lay her soul on the line on the off chance that he might be feeling something that was nearly as intense as what she was. She wouldn’t let herself be that vulnerable to him. Not now. Maybe not ever.
He sighed. “I know.”
She opened the front door. Her house smelled of the lilac potpourri she kept in the foyer. It welcomed her and made her feel more secure than she had only a moment before. She glanced over her shoulder. “Coming?”
“Still want me to?” he asked. She knew he needed reassurance, but she had her hands full taking care of her own battered self.
She didn’t answer that. She just entered her house, set her purse and keys on the hall table and left the door open. She heard the door close but no footsteps. Damn, she was afraid to turn around to see if he was still there.
She closed her eyes and pivoted around, but didn’t open them. She listened as hard as she could, tempted to open her eyes, but she didn’t want to be disappointed again.
Especially not by Rand. Not this man she’d come to put all her trust in. This man whom she’d come to realize was more than a temporary lover. This man she’d come to love.
Oh, God, did she really love him?
She felt the humid warmth of his breath against her cheek and then his hands on her shoulders. Still she didn’t open her eyes. Not wanting to see in his eyes pity or simple lust. In her mind she could supply the caring and affection she wanted from him. The kind of reaction that she’d give her career to elicit from him. But that she was afraid she’d never see there.
Ten
The basketball hoop behind the Corporate Spouses offices had seen more than its fair share of grudge matches. But today Rand played alone. The tension he’d always felt had grown stronger in the last month. The closer he got to Corrine the more he felt a sense of rightness. Yet at the same time he felt a sense that she was going to be his ultimate destruction.
“Telephone call, Rand,” Kelly said from the doorway.
“Take a message.”
“It’s Corrine. This is the third time she’s called.”
Damn. He glanced over his shoulder at his secretary, who was wearing a skintight leather miniskirt and matching black leather bustier. Her hair was slicked back in a severe ponytail and she had long earrings dangling from her lobes. Her legs were encased in black hose and she had a pair of low boots with stiletto heels. She looked ready for an S and M club instead of the office.
“I’ll be right there. Kel?”
“Yes?”
“Did Angelica talk to you about the dress code?”
She rolled her eyes. “Yes.”
“Then I won’t say anything else.”
“You better not, boss man, or I’ll have to crack my whip,” Kelly said before walking back inside the building.
He laughed and watched her walk away. Why couldn’t he
have been attracted to someone like Kelly? She was fun and sexy and she didn’t cause a quaking deep inside him.
Rand walked slowly back to the building. He couldn’t escape the feeling that his life was falling apart. He’d never blown off a business call before, yet he’d been willing to do it just a few minutes ago.
“Rand, I need to see you,” Angelica said as he passed her office.
“I’ve got a call, then I’ll be in.”
“Thanks.”
“No problem, kiddo.” Angelica’s pregnancy was starting to show just the tiniest bit, but that hadn’t stopped her from wearing maternity clothes.
He entered his office and tossed the basketball in the corner. He was sweaty so he didn’t sit in his chair but merely propped his hip against the desk and lifted the handset. His hand was shaking as he reached for the receiver.
He needed to do something about Corrine. Either give her a place of permanence in his crazy life or stop seeing her. She was making him realize some things about his life that made him uncomfortable.
“This is Rand,” he said.
“Hi, Rand. Sorry to bother you at work,” she said, her voice brushing over his overheated senses. He wished she were in his office so he didn’t have to think and could just react. Kiss her lush mouth and caress her lean body.
“It’s not a bother,” he said, and meant it. She was always a welcome diversion.
“Are we going out tonight?” she asked.
“I thought so.” Why was she calling? She sounded nervous, and they’d done too much together for her to be acting this way. Rand wondered if she’d picked up on his problem. Did she suspect he had drinking issues? It was way beyond the time when he should have mentioned it to her. A lot of women—smart women—didn’t want to get involved with someone who had an addiction.
“Good. Just wanted to make sure. There’s a new foreign film at the Enzian, want to catch it?”
Tycoon For Auction (HQR Silhouette Desire) Page 10