by L. J. Hamlin
“What are you trying to say, Jamie?”
“I think you care more about Jed than you’re admitting to him, and I’m wondering why you haven’t told him. I’m afraid my history with Jed might be putting you off.”
“What do you mean?” Donnie’s confused. He thought Jamie would just tell him to be careful with Jed, not to ask for too much, not to make a mess of the band.
“All the stories said that Jed cheated on me. I can see why that might make someone leery, why you’d think that Jed wasn’t the guy to commit to. So I want to tell you the truth, the story that didn’t make the internet,” Jamie says softly.
“You don’t have to tell me yours and Jed’s private history. I don’t want to spy on him, go behind his back,” Donnie says, leaning against the kitchen island counter.
“And that’s why I can tell you. You don’t ask others about him. You don’t go behind his back,” Jamie says, leaning next to him.
“Okay,” Donnie is curious. He can’t say that he likes that Jed was married and had an affair. That he had a man as his dirty little secret. If it were anyone but Jed, Donnie wouldn’t have started anything with him. But Jed is special, so Donnie has overlooked it.
“Jed never cheated on me. He started to fall for Bert, and he told me straight up, admitted to me that he’d always thought he might be gay. I was upset. I loved him, but things had never been quite right. We were young when we got together, so I didn’t notice then, but as we got older, I realized puppy love wasn’t the same as true love. I told Jed to go for it, to see how things went with Bert.” Jamie scowls at the end.
“Jed told his wife he was in love with a man?” Donnie asks, shocked at Jed’s honesty.
“Yeah, he did. He was so sorry. He said he felt like he was betraying me by falling for someone else, even though he hadn’t acted on it. And Bert had done everything to tempt him, offering everything to get him into bed behind my back.” Jamie shakes her head.
“I’m sorry. That whole thing kind of sucked for you.” Donnie can’t imagine marrying a man and then having that man fall for someone else.
“It did, and I’m still mad at Bert, but I forgave Jed. I think it was easier because he was so honest with me. He might have lied at one point, hidden that he thought he was gay, but he never betrayed me. Bert betrayed us all. But what I’m saying is, Jed is a good guy to be with. If you want more, you should go for it,” Jamie replies.
“Jed told me what he wants. He’s my friend, and he wants to fool around. That’s all.”
“Do you want more? He hasn’t told me he wants more, but I can tell he does. He cares about you as more than a friend. He thinks with you being younger, you might not want to settle down, and he’s scared of hurting you, but I really think he wants more than sex from you, Donnie,” Jamie insists.
“I…I’ve dated a fair bit. I’m not so into casual usually. I like Jed, I like him a lot, but I’m not sure you’re right. I don’t think Jed wants more. If I push for more, I could lose everything. Right now, I’m part of a great band, Jed is my friend, and we get to sleep together. I’m happy. What if I tell him I like him and he cuts me off?” Donnie asks.
“Jed would never do that. He wouldn’t try and push you out of the band, and he wouldn’t stop being your friend. If he doesn’t like you the way I think he does, the most he’ll do is stop sleeping with you. He wouldn’t want to lead you on. I think it’s worth the risk,” Jamie says.
“Do you always get this involved in Jed’s love life?” Donnie asks, getting his ass moving to make some drinks for Penny and Kelly.
“Yes, I do. After the mess he made of it with Bert? Jed needs someone to look out for him. I want to see Jed happy. I’ve been watching how he is with you, and you make him happy in a way he hasn’t been for a long time.”
“So you really think I should go for it? Just tell him how I feel?” Donnie asks.
“If you have feelings for him, then yes. Do you have feelings for him?” Jamie presses.
“Of course, I have feelings for him. How could I not? He’s amazing, but I’m terrified. What if he doesn’t want more? What if I’m not good enough for him?” Donnie asks.
“Well, I think you’re good enough for him, and if anyone judges harshly, it’s me. He keeps getting those threats, and it’s putting him under a lot of stress. But when you’re with him, it’s like that melts away. You make him happy,” Jamie points out.
“Maybe I’ll talk to him. Just give me time, okay?” Donnie says, picking up the glasses.
“All right, but don’t take too long, okay? Jed’s nervous. I don’t want him to have time to freak out,” Jamie says, and Donnie’s glad he’s her friend now, not her enemy.
They go back to the party together. Donnie gives Kelly and Penny their drinks, and they are definitely into each other. Donnie can tell. It’s kind of cute. Donnie wants to leave them alone, so he makes an excuse to go and give them some one-on-one time, heading over to the food table where Jed is.
“Hi,” Donnie says softly. He feels stupid being shy around Jed, but sometimes Jed makes him feel like he’s a teenager with his first crush.
“Hey, Donnie. Have you seen Penny and Kelly? Those two are so sweet together.” Jed grins.
“I noticed. I think Kelly likes Penny. We have a local show soon, right? I think I’ll get Kelly on the list, so she can come hang out,” Donnie says, thinking of the show in two weeks.
“That’s a good idea. Look at you, matchmaking.” Jed nudges him as he speaks, and Donnie’s stomach flips. God, he has it so bad.
“Well, they’re my two favorite girls. I want to see them happy.” Donnie looks over at them and can see them both smiling brightly, and it makes him happy just to see it.
“I’ll tell Jamie to get Kelly on the backstage list for the concert. She can arrange anything. She’s magic.” Jed grins.
“Yeah, she is.” Donnie looks for Jamie, who’s talking to Jed’s aunt.
“I’m glad you two are friends now. It’s important to me that all my friends get along with each other. Like you said with Penny and Kelly, I want my favorite people to be happy.” Jed smiles.
“I’m one of your favorite people?” Donnie asks, kind of surprised.
“Of course, you are. Is that…Should I not say that? You look surprised.” Jed looks like maybe he regrets saying it. But Donnie thinks that maybe Jamie is right: maybe Jed wants more. It’s not the first time Jed’s acted caring toward Donnie, made him feel special.
“Surprised, but pleased. I’m glad you said it. You’re kind of one of my favorite people, too,” Donnie admits.
“Kind of feels like that means more than you’re saying,” Jed says quietly.
“I was going to wait to do this, but, ah, I guess I have to say it now. I’m kind of nuts about you,” Donnie says in a rush, his stomach cramping in fear.
“Really?” Jed looks surprised but not freaked out.
“Yeah, does that bother you?” Donnie asks.
“No. Fuck. First I tell myself not to crush on you, and I do. Then I tell myself not to act on it, and I do. And now I told myself not to fall for you, and I have,” Jed says, rubbing a hand through his hair.
“Are you saying you’re in love with me?” Donnie asks, completely stunned.
“Yes,” Jed looks pale.
“Oh,” Donnie can hardly believe it.
“Is that a good oh?” Jed asks.
“It’s a good oh. If we were alone I’d be kissing you,” Donnie says quietly, even though no one is close enough to hear them.
“You’re staying tonight, right?” Jed asks.
“Yeah. I’m supposed to be sharing a room with Kelly, but she knows about us. I, ah, could sneak out and come see you,” Donnie replies.
“I’d like that,” Jed says, reaching out carefully to brush his fingers against Donnie’s. It’s only for a second, and it’s doubtful anyone will see, but it makes Donnie’s heart race.
“I better go mingle before people ask questions, bu
t I’ll see you later.” Donnie wants to kiss Jed, but he knows he can’t, so instead, he makes himself walk away, go talk to people.
Donnie enjoys the party, but part of him can’t wait for it to end. He wants to be alone with Jed. They need to talk more, because their brief words hinted at something huge, a big change in their relationship. Eventually everyone who isn’t staying the night has left, and everyone else has gone to bed. Donnie says goodnight to Kelly, ready to sneak out.
“Have fun, princess.” Kelly winks.
“I will.” Donnie grins. He’s already told her about his talk with Jed earlier.
“Just don’t be too loud. Some of us need our beauty sleep,” Kelly jokes.
“I’m going to ask if we can tell the band,” Donnie admits.
“Good luck. I hope it works out for you.” Kelly kisses his cheek, and Donnie leaves the room, sneaking into Jed’s up the hallway.
Jed’s waiting in bed for him. Donnie locks the bedroom door behind him before padding over to him.
“I was a little worried you wouldn’t come,” Jed says softly, folding back the covers so that Donnie can get in bed beside him.
Donnie has already changed into bed shorts and a t-shirt, and he can see Jed is in something similar as he climbs in. “Of course, I came,” Donnie says, reaching out to take Jed’s hand.
“I’m glad you did. I’m really glad you came.” Jed runs his free hand through Donnie’s long hair, stroking from root to tip, making Donnie shiver.
“I don’t want to hide,” Donnie blurts out.
“You want to tell the band about us? Or tell everyone?” Jed asks.
“The band, people we care about. Not the fans yet. I think some people will react badly. I’m not ready to be hounded by the press,” Donnie replies.
“I’d be okay with that. I’ve been feeling bad for not telling the band we’re sleeping together. I don’t want to hide a relationship from them,” Jed says.
“But you want a relationship? I’m not reading what you said earlier wrong?” Donnie asks.
“I want one. It freaks me out. I’ve had a lot of bad luck with dating, but you’re not like anyone I’ve dated before. And I think I’d regret not giving this a shot,” Jed says, his thumb stroking Donnie’s hand where they’re joined.
“It scares me, too—how bad we could mess things up. But so far, the closer we get, things only get better, not worse,” Donnie says, leaning in closer to Jed, who closes the gap, kissing him. Jed lets go of his hand, cupping Donnie’s jaw and the back of his head, threading his fingers through Donnie’s hair.
They kiss deeply, and Donnie moves, climbing into Jed’s lap, straddling him. They keep kissing, hands wandering, shirts getting stripped off. Then Jed rolls them, pinning Donnie beneath him. Jed takes Donnie’s hands in his, using one of his bigger hands to pin both of Donnie’s above his head.
“I want you so badly. I thought I’d want you less with time, but God, I want you so much.” Jed pants, kissing him hard.
“I want you, too. I want you to hold me down and fuck me.” Donnie squirms under Jed.
“I have handcuffs. I could cuff you to the bed,” Jed suggests.
“That’s hot as hell. I…I’ve never been cuffed before, but I like when you hold me down. I trust you to do this,” Donnie says softly.
Donnie’s had plenty of sex, some even kind of kinky, but he’s never let anyone cuff him. But he’s never felt about anyone the way he feels about Jed. He’s not just turned on now; he feels safe. He feels like Jed would protect him from anything.
“It means a lot to me that you trust me.” Jed moves off him for a moment and gets up to go to his closet, but Donnie doesn’t move. He wants to stay in this moment.
Jed comes back to the bed with a pair of padded black leather cuffs, lube, and condoms. Donnie shifts so his hands are closer to the headboard. Jed kneels between Donnie’s legs, taking his hands and putting the cuffs on them. Donnie pulls on them, liking the feel of them around his wrists, liking that he can’t get loose.
“If you feel uncomfortable, if you need me to let you go, just tell me. I’ve got the key. I can let you out in a second,” Jed says, showing Donnie the key before he puts it down on his bedside dresser.
“I’ll miss not being able to touch you, but I like the idea of you having control,” Donnie says, already feeling breathless.
“I like having control,” Jed admits. He leans down and strips Donnie’s shorts off before standing up to remove his own. He drops their clothes to the floor, then spreads Donnie’s legs, stroking up from Donnie’s ankles to his thighs.
“You know telling people about us means you don’t have to worry about leaving marks on me?” Donnie says.
“Oh,” Jed gasps lightly, his hands roaming all over Donnie’s bare skin.
Donnie grins. “Somebody likes that.”
“I’m a possessive man.” Jed smiles, leaning down to suck a mark onto Donnie’s stomach.
“I kind of like that about you.” Donnie gasps as Jed nips at his skin.
Jed moves down, lower, pressing kisses to soft skin as he goes. He pushes Donnie’s legs up, his head dipping down between them. Donnie can feel his body humming in anticipation. He doesn’t have to wait long before Jed moves, his tongue running over Donnie’s hole, it makes him wiggle and pant as Jed rims him, working him open with his tongue.
“I love your mouth,” Donnie sighs, his whole body lit up with pleasure, Jed’s hand stroking him and licking him, making Donnie shiver.
Jed starts adding fingers along with his tongue, and before long, he has Donnie begging, desperate for more. Jed doesn’t give in right away, though. He keeps working Donnie’s body, working Donnie open. Eventually he gives in, though, grabbing a condom and rolling it on his cock.
“Are you ready?” Jed asks, one hand steadying his cock, the other firm on Donnie’s hip, holding him still, using some pressure, but not enough to be painful. Donnie still kind of hopes it’ll leave marks.
“Yeah. Yes, please.” Donnie doesn’t think he’s ever been so desperate for another man’s touch as he is for Jed’s. He doesn’t know when it happened. The attraction had been instant, but needing Jed this badly snuck up on him.
Jed presses his cock into Donnie, inch by inch, holding Donnie still so he can’t hurry things along, not letting Donnie rush this. It’s torture, but the sweetest torture Donnie has ever felt.
“You look so good, tied to my bed, waiting for my cock,” Jed purrs as he bottoms out, and Donnie can only groan in response.
Jed starts to move, shallow little thrusts to begin with, but it’s like he’s waiting to make sure Donnie can handle it. Once Donnie is doing nothing but moaning, Jed starts thrusting harder, more deeply.
“Yes, fuck, harder,” Donnie demands.
“Bossy,” Jed says, but he does thrust harder.
“You like me bossy.”
“I really do.” Jed leans forward to claim a kiss.
They kiss hungrily, fucking hard and fast. Jed’s thrusts start to lose their rhythm, and he wraps his hand around Donnie’s cock, stroking Donnie quickly. Jed goes still, his orgasm hitting him, and he buries the noise in Donnie’s neck. A few seconds later, without pulling out, he starts stroking Donnie again, playing him perfectly, until Donnie falls over the edge too.
Once they’ve both stopped panting, Jed pulls out, deals with the condom, and then grabs the key and releases Donnie’s hands. He gently massages Donnie’s hands, wrists, and shoulders, carefully checking for damage.
“I’m okay.” Donnie promises.
“Just making sure.” Jed smiles.
“I was wondering, since we’re going to tell people about us, can I stay here tonight? It’s okay if you don’t want me to, if it’s too soon,” Donnie says in a rush.
“No, I want you to stay. I’ve hated that you haven’t been able to stay the night any of the times we’ve been together,” Jed says softly, using his t-shirt to clean Donnie before putting an arm around him, cuddlin
g close.
“I kind of like to cuddle,” Donnie admits.
“Me too,” Jed says happily, rubbing his slightly stubbly jaw over the top of Donnie’s head. They stay wrapped up in each other until they fall asleep.
They wake up the same way. After getting dressed and sharing a last kiss, they head downstairs to face the band. They all stayed the night and are sitting at the kitchen table, along with Kelly. Donnie notices Kelly is next to Penny. He really sees potential there.
“Did anyone else here moaning last night?” Drew says pointedly, and Donnie feels his face flush.
“Um, we hope that no one is mad at us, but Donnie and I are together,” Jed says, standing at the head of the table.
“Finally,” Brenton says calmly.
“Congratulations, it’s about time,” Penny adds.
Donnie frowns. “What?”
“I think they already knew, princess,” Kelly points out.
“We knew,” Drew confirms.
“How?” Jed asks, sitting down. Donnie sits next to him, seeing as they aren’t avoiding being seen together anymore.
“It was obvious,” Brenton says simply, and then he asks what Jed has in mind for breakfast.
Just like that, the band gets on with things.
Donnie’s surprised. He thought he and Jed had hidden what was going on between them well, but apparently not. But it does make things a lot easier. Donnie isn’t going to complain. He takes Jed’s hand under the table, squeezing, and Jed squeezes back. He’s really not going to complain.
Chapter 10
They slide into the car together, Donnie first, followed by Jed. They’re in Nevada for a show, and they’re heading for the hotel. The rest of the band should be following right after them, but going to a different hotel. Jed and Donnie’s room had been double booked, so they’re going to another hotel.
The partition is up so they can be themselves without the driver spying on them.
“Oh look, champagne. Jamie must have left it for a surprise for us,” Jed says. He takes the two glasses, passing one to Donnie and taking a sip from the other.