by L. J. Hamlin
Donnie isn’t like that. He doesn’t have a drug problem. He’s never asked Jed to do anything. He’s just been kind, a good friend, a good man.
“I don’t have a game plan. I’m just attracted to you. You’re my friend, though. I don’t want to ruin that or the band. I really like playing with you guys.” Donnie bites his lip, looking nervous.
“I’ve slept with friends and stayed friends with them before.” Jed wants Donnie in his bed, and he wants him as a friend. He’s starting to wonder if he can have both. It doesn’t have to be more.
“So have I. So it’d be like friends with benefits?” Donnie suggests.
“I think we could make that work.” Jed wants to kick himself for being so weak, but the resolve he had when he first met Donnie at the audition has been weakening with every passing month. He’s been attracted to Donnie for a long time now, can’t seem to want anyone else.
He’s been stressed, too, since the car tried to hit him. Knowing someone’s trying to kill him, it’s had him off balance. Donnie’s been calm about that from the start, not freaking out. He’s stuck by Jed, stuck by the band. He’s a good guy. Since Jamie told Jed about the reporter, all he can think is that Donnie is not like Bert; he’ll never be like Bert.
So, maybe he’s making another big mistake here. God knows Jed has made enough of them, but he’s trying to tell himself that he can have this with Donnie. He can have a little more than friendship. It’s not like he’s asking for anything serious. Serious has more chance of going wrong.
“So, we fool around. Do we keep it secret?” Donnie asks.
“I know you don’t like to lie to the band, but at least to start with, I think it’d be best to keep things between us. You can tell Kelly. I know you tell her everything. I understand if you’re not up for this. I never even asked if you wanted me. I just assumed when you kissed me back,” Jed rambles. He might have gotten the wrong idea here.
“I’ve wanted to jump your bones since the audition. And I’ve wanted it more, the better I get to know you. I’m cool not telling people.” Donnie smiles, and Jed can’t help smiling back. It’s nice to know Donnie wants him, has been wanting him since the start.
“So, can I kiss you again?” Jed asks.
“No,” Donnie says firmly.
Jed frowns.
“We’re on the couch where anybody could see us. That’s not a good way to keep a secret. If we’re going to be sneaky, I suggest we take this to one of our bedrooms,” Donnie suggests.
“Smart. I like it,” Jed says, sighing when Donnie climbs out of his lap and stands.
“Come on,” Donnie holds his hand out to Jed. Jed takes it and stands.
They don’t talk as they walk through the house, not wanting to wake anyone up. Jed leads the way into his bedroom. He has lube and condoms in one of his bags. He doesn’t know if Donnie thought to bring them. Once they are in his room, Jed closes his door and locks it. He thinks being older, more experienced, he’ll be the one to make the first move, but he’s surprised when Donnie crowds into his space, pinning Jed against the door and claiming a kiss.
“Here I was thinking you were shy,” Jed says as the heated kiss breaks. His lips feel almost swollen, and he’s glad because this passion means that Donnie is just as into this as Jed is, and Jed is really into it.
“I can be shy, but in bed? When I know what I want? I’m not shy at all.” Donnie grins and leans up to kiss Jed again. It’s a sweet push, hardly pushy, more like he’s asking permission, and Jed’s happy to give it, opening up for the kiss.
Jed wraps his arms around Donnie, pulling him closer, feeling the warm firmness of Donnie’s chest and stomach against his, one of his hands on Donnie’s cute little ass, the other tangled in all that long red hair.
And then Donnie breaks the kiss again, dancing back out of Jed’s hold.
“Come back here,” Jed encourages, trying not to pout. He’s almost forty years old, damn it. He shouldn’t be pouting because he’s not getting his way. Jed has a feeling that even if things don’t go as he imagined they might, tonight’s going to be pretty amazing.
“No, get the lube and condoms and get naked,” Donnie orders.
“You’re bossy,” Jed says, but he starts to unbutton his shirt.
“Don’t like it?” Donnie asks, sitting down on the edge of Jed’s bed to unlace his shoes.
“No, I like it. Not used to it, maybe. I haven’t slept with a ton of guys, but they were usually desperate for me to take the lead.” Jed ditches his shirt and heads for his bag to get supplies, pleased when he notices Donnie watching him, Donnie’s eyes tracing over his body. Jed’s glad he’s still in shape, not like some rock stars that party too hard and are washed up before their time.
“I know I’m small. I know I’m kind of a pretty guy. So a lot of people assume I’m submissive, and don’t get me wrong, I can be. But I can be a pushy, bossy bitch, too. I know what I want, and I like to make sure I get it,” Donnie says, and he’s so honest, so open, it’s refreshing. Jed’s had a lifetime full of deceit; he doesn’t want more, ever again. So to be with someone who doesn’t play games, and just says what they want, it’s kind of perfect.
“I like that. Feel free to be as bossy as you like. If I don’t like something, I’ll say,” Jed says, setting the lube and condoms on the bedside cabinet before going to stand in front of Donnie, just between his spread legs.
“At the same time, if you get the urge to just grab me, pin me down, and fuck me, you can do that. I wouldn’t mind,” Donnie all but purrs.
“You’re perfect,” Jed blurts out, his hands settling on Donnie slim shoulders, one sliding up to cup his neck, his face. It’s like now he’s allowed to touch, Jed can’t stop, and he doesn’t know where to touch first.
“You just want to get in my pants,” Donnie jokes.
“Pretty sure that tonight you’re a sure thing.” Jed leans in and kisses Donnie softly, a slick warm push that Donnie opens up for, letting him in, relaxing into Jed’s touch.
“We’re wearing too many clothes,” Donnie says when they part.
Jed backs off so he can kick his shoes off, and then start working on his jeans. It takes him longer than it should to remove his jeans because he’s watching as Donnie strips.
Once they’re naked, Jed moves forward again. Reaching out, he strokes over the smooth, shaved side of Donnie’s head, and Donnie leans in to the touch. He’s beautiful like this, clearly comfortable in his nudity, and he should be; he has an amazing body. He’s slim and toned, covered in tattoos, skin pale where it isn’t marked with ink. He’s breathtaking.
“I’ve imagined you naked so many times,” Donnie admits. He reaches out a hand and strokes it over Jed’s chest, fingers teasing over one nipple.
“I’ve imagined it too. You naked, I mean,” Jed says, his breath hitching as Donnie’s hand ghosts over his skin. It almost tickles, but it feels good.
“You’ve been starring in my sex dreams,” Donnie says with a faint smile.
Knowing Donnie has been dreaming of him, it’s an ego trip.
“You’ve been my jerk off fantasy for months,” Jed admits, tugging on Donnie’s long hair lightly, so that Donnie tips his head back, and Jed can claim a kiss. It’s almost sweet, but it still makes heat hum through Jed’s veins.
“Can we get in bed? I want to feel you all over me,” Donnie asks when the kiss breaks.
“I like that idea.” Jed moves back to let Donnie move, watching him lie back on the bed before climbing up to join him.
Jed crawls between Donnie’s spread legs and claims another kiss, hands exploring Donnie’s body, while Donnie’s does his own touching. Jed kisses a path down Donnie’s jaw to his neck, but he’s careful not to leave marks, seeing as that would give things away to the others. But Jed wants to mark Donnie, and he gets an idea.
Jed moves down Donnie’s body, till he’s between his legs, pressing kisses as he goes. Jed pushes Donnie’s legs up and open, spreading Donnie out, an
d then kisses the tender skin inside of Donnie’s thigh, sucking on it till he knows it’ll mark. Donnie squirms and pants the whole time, and Jed wraps a hand around Donnie’s cock, stroking him while he works on marking up where no one will see but Donnie.
“Jed, I want—I need more,” Donnie pants, and his needy tone goes straight to Jed’s cock.
Jed reaches up and grabs the lube, slicking up his fingers. He nips Donnie’s thigh, making him jerk, and then strokes his slick fingers over Donnie’s hole, teasing him. Jed slowly, so slowly, strokes Donnie’s cock as he starts to push in one finger. Donnie lets out a moan as Jed fucks the digit in and out, adding more each time he presses in.
“You have big fingers. I like it. Give me another one,” Donnie demands, his hips rolling, fucking himself back on Jed’s finger and up into Jed’s hand around his cock.
“Bossy.” Jed grins. He really likes Donnie’s bossy, demanding side. It’s sexy.
He presses two fingers together, and begins working them into Donnie, who’s so relaxed he takes them pretty easily.
“You look so beautiful like this, fucking my hands,” Jed says, voice husky as he watches Donnie thrust up to meet Jed’s touch.
Donnie moans. “Feels amazing. Like I could come like this.”
“That’d be so hot. I want to get you off like that, with just my fingers and my hand. I want to see you lose it.” Jed’s always liked getting his partners off, and he loves fingering guys, but he’s never seen someone look like Donnie while he was doing it. Donnie’s face isn’t hiding a thing, just pure honest pleasure. With Bert there had even been mind games in bed.
Jed wants to take Donnie apart with just his hands, watch him fall apart.
“I thought you wanted to fuck me?” Donnie asks, which isn’t a no.
“I do, and I will. It’s not like this is a one-time thing. I intend to see you come a hundred different ways,” Jed purrs.
He really doesn’t want this to be a one-time thing. Friends with benefits is something that can last longer than a night. It seems like the best option to Jed. He doesn’t have to put his heart on the line, but he gets to be with Donnie. It seems perfect. But Jed doesn’t want to think about that now. All he wants is to get Donnie off. Jed thrusts his fingers deeply into Donnie, stroking every sensitive spot he can find, stroking Donnie’s cock as he does.
“I’m not going to last,” Donnie gasps.
“I don’t want you to wait. I want to see you come,” Jed growls.
Donnie arches into Jed’s touch, his hips stuttering, and he’s absolutely gorgeous as he falls apart. His face is flushed, his eyes are bright, his lips plump from biting them. He moves with Jed, thrusting in time to the movement of Jed’s hand, fucking himself on Jed’s fingers. It’s the hottest thing Jed’s ever seen.
Jed watches Donnie’s face as he works his body, and it’s beautiful. He sees the tension there too, when Donnie’s orgasm hits. It shakes his whole body as he paints his stomach and chest with come. He jerks and then goes still, relaxing, and Jed slows his touches to a stop, stroking a hand over the red marks he left on Donnie’s thigh.
“That was amazing,” Donnie says, still breathless.
“You look amazing when you come,” Jed says softly.
“I want to see you come, too.” Donnie reaches out for Jed, pulls him into a hungry kiss.
“Anything, Donnie. Right now, I just want to come. I don’t care how.” Jed’s so hard he’s aching. Getting Donnie off had been so intense, sexy, and Jed wants to join him in the afterglow.
Donnie wraps a hand around Jed’s cock and starts to stroke him, his rings cooler than his fingers, and that makes it feel different, better. They make out while Donnie strokes him, and Jed has been hard for so long that he’s not going to last, and Donnie seems to know every little trick in the book to get Jed squirming.
Jed breaks the kiss and buries his face in Donnie’s neck as he comes hard, his orgasm washing over him. Jed’s panting, hardly able to catch his breath for a few moments. After a little while, he’s worried he’s crushing Donnie, who’s smaller than him, so he rolls to the side but stays close, grabbing a blanket and throwing it over them up to their waists. He grabs a shirt from the floor and cleans them off.
“That was pretty good, right?” Donnie looks hesitant, like he’s worried or something.
“It was amazing. I think I came my brains out,” Jed replies.
“It’s been awhile for me,” Donnie admits.
“Me too. I don’t trust too easy, so it’s hard to find anyone, even for something casual.” Jed yawns, the booze and the orgasm catching up to him.
“I better go to my room, so we don’t get caught,” Donnie says, sitting up a little.
“Yeah, you’re right,” Jed says, trying to hide his disappointment that Donnie is leaving.
Making the most of it, he sits up and leans in for one last kiss.
“I like kissing you,” Donnie says, getting out of bed and grabbing his pants, pulling them on.
“I like kissing you, too.” Jed smiles.
“I’ll see you tomorrow.” Donnie leans over the bed, the rest of his clothes in hand, and he presses a quick kiss to Jed’s lips before he leaves, closing the door behind him.
Jed yawns and lets himself doze off, feeling satisfied. But then Jed wakes up in a panic. He grabs his cell phone off the side table, ready to call Jamie and tell her about the huge mistake he might have made, when he sees he has a text, and he opens that first.
You will die alone
Jed swallows. They have his private number. He calls Jamie, not knowing what to tell her first.
“It’s 5 A.M., this better be good,” Jamie growls.
“I got a text on my phone from the stalker. The same message as all the other times,” Jed blurts out.
“I’ll contact the detective working your case. We’ll get them to trace the text. They might be able to find whoever sent it. It’ll be okay, Jed. You have a bodyguard in the house with you and a great security system. You’ll be fine,” Jamie says calmly, but Jed can tell she’s freaked out too.
“Okay. Can you arrange another phone? A new number?” Jed asks.
“Of course. It’ll be there sometime today. I’ll talk to security. We won’t take any chances,” Jamie replies. Jed knows she’d been worried when it was just notes, but since it moved up to someone trying to run over him, he knows Jamie has been a lot more worried. Jed has been, too.
“I have something else to tell you,” Jed admits. He feels like a child about to tell a parent that he’s the one who stole the cookies.
“What? Are you okay?” Jamie asks.
“I might have agreed to a friends-with-benefits relationship with Donnie,” Jed says in a rush.
“Really? You think that’s a good idea? Friends with benefits, when you clearly care about him?” Jamie asks.
“Caring is dangerous. Sex isn’t,” Jed says simply.
“He’s not Bert. He won’t hurt you.”
“I know he’s not Bert, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t other ways he can hurt me,” Jed points out.
“You’re being a fool,” Jamie tells him.
“Maybe I am, but this way I get to have a part of him.” Jed rubs his hand over his face.
“But for how long?” Jamie asks.
Jed doesn’t have answer for that.
Chapter 9
It feels different being at Jed’s house this time. So much has changed in the past few months, since the before tour party. But in some ways, it’s the same, a relaxed daytime barbeque that will probably go on into the night.
Donnie is in the kitchen, getting the girls some drinks, when Jamie comes in.
“Penny is smitten with your friend Kelly. It’s nice to finally meet her after everything you’ve said.” Jamie smiles.
“I’m glad she could come. Are they flirting? I’ll take my time with the drinks, give them some alone time.” Donnie grins.
“They are flirting, and they aren’t th
e only ones.” Jamie raises an eyebrow.
“I, ah, I know that Jed told you about our new relationship, after the time away to work on the album, so…” Donnie breaks off. He doesn’t know what to say.
It’s been a month since they first hooked up, and they’ve been quietly sleeping together on and off ever since. Jamie knows, as well as Jed’s bodyguard, but Jamie promised Jed that he knows how to be discreet for what he’s being paid. So it’s weird for her to mention Donnie and Jed flirting now. Well, maybe it is. Donnie hasn’t really been alone with Jamie till now.
“I’m aware you know he told me about this friends with benefits thing, but you two, you don’t act like two men who just want to get laid. You blush when he flirts. You like him,” Jamie says.
“Of course, I like him. I wouldn’t sleep with him otherwise. Is this leading up to you giving me a talk about not hurting Jed?” Donnie asks. He’s kind of been expecting it from Jamie ever since Jed said he’d told Jamie everything.
“Well, part of me does feel like I have to. He’s my best friend. I care about him, but I think we can skip most of it. I think we’ve already covered that you won’t hurt Jed. But I have questions,” Jamie says, and Donnie’s really glad that Jamie’s warmed up to him.
Donnie is pretty sure that a few months ago, if Jamie had found out Donnie was sleeping with Jed, she would have had it in for him, and Donnie would be getting a much less pleasant talk.
“I won’t hurt him. I mean, I won’t hurt him on purpose. I guess I can’t promise not to do it by accident,” Donnie says thoughtfully.
“How deeply do you care about him?” Jamie asks.
“That’s kind of a personal question. I know you have Jed’s best interests at heart, but I…He wants friends with benefits. I’m good with that. Isn’t that enough for you?” Donnie asks.
He likes what he has with Jed. He’s happy to have it. He doesn’t want to mess things up by letting Jed know he’d be more than cool with more, that he’d happily commit to Jed, if only Jed asked.
“You know Jed’s not the casual type, but he’s afraid of commitment. He wasn’t always, but Bert made him gun shy.”