His mom was only a minute away from the entrance, and when we got there, he kneeled to brush away the leaves and the loose ground that had collected on her grave marker.
Selena Flint
Beloved wife and mother
To have been loved by you is to have lived
1958-2008
I tried to imagine what Ezra’s mother had looked like. Did he get his blue eyes from her? Or his sandy-red hair? How much of her still lived in him?
I moved a few paces away, giving him some privacy, and looked in the direction where my parents had been laid to rest. I hadn’t visited them since a few months after their death. For a while, I’d come here every week. In the darkness of the night, after my late shifts at the bar, I’d drive here, climb the fence on the other side, and sit between their identical graves until the mosquitos became too much or the chill got into my bones.
Ezra’s form cast a shadow over me, his expression pensive. His eyes trailed my exposed arms before narrowing in on something. I glanced down and saw my tattoo was peeking out just as he reached for my wrist and lifted my arm.
“Courage: the ability to do something that frightens one,” he read aloud, tracing the lettering with his thumb. I hoped he wouldn’t notice the goosebumps appearing on my skin.
He arched his brows at me in a silent question.
“A reminder for myself,” I explained.
“I don’t think you need it. You’re already one of the bravest people I know.”
My heart pounded like a hammer in my chest as his eyes flicked back up to meet mine. I saw him open up before me like a tattered book that held the most vivid images inside. He pressed his thumb down lightly on my wrist where my pulse was racing.
Slowly, he placed my arm back down and cleared this throat. “Do you want to go to see your parents?”
The last time I’d seen the graves was a few days before I’d gotten the tattoo. I shook my head. “Molly and I are meant to visit before she leaves, and she’d be upset if she knew I went on my own.”
He didn’t press the issue, and we turned to go back the way we’d come.
We exited the cemetery and then took a different path through the park, passing an old playground with a rusty swing set, a half-empty sandpit, and an old wooden shed.
He stopped to study the area. “This was in much better shape a decade ago.”
I moved past him to get a better look at the shed. It was big enough for a car to park in.
“Now that’s a relic from the past,” he said behind me, his voice laced with something mischievous. Now it was my turn to raise my eyebrows at him.
“Cole and I lost our virginities in that shed to Ainsley Turner,” he admitted.
“Did you plan to do it in the same place?” I joked.
“It was at the same time, so we didn’t have much choice,” he clarified, obviously watching my face for a reaction.
“Your first time was a…threesome?” I stuttered over my words, shocked.
He gave me a nonchalant shrug. “It wasn’t planned. Just kind of happened.”
“How old were you?” I asked, still processing this new bit of information.
“We were both seventeen and had been competing for her affection for months. She was a senior with this bright-red hair that seemed insanely exotic to our teenage minds. One summer evening, she invited us for a walk. We had no expectations, but when we got to the shed it was clear what she intended to do with us. We were happy to oblige, even if we didn’t really know what we were doing at the time.”
My laugh was strained. Ezra’s story was playing out vividly inside my head and making my skin prickle with delicious heat. I wasn’t a stranger to experimenting in bed—back when I still had a sex life—but I’d never done anything like that before. Still, I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t considered it on occasion. Having two guys entirely focused on me? Especially when the guys looked like Ezra and Cole? Jesus. Ainsley Turner was kind of brilliant.
“Of course, we’ve had a lot more practice since,” he added casually, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his jeans.
“You and Cole…together?” I asked, my mouth dry.
He smirked provocatively. “That night definitely kicked off a certain…preference.”
I was more aroused than I’d been in years. How often had they done it? I wanted to ask so many questions, but I knew that doing so would get us into decidedly dangerous territory. Satisfying my curiosity wasn’t worth complicating my feelings toward them even further.
Tearing my eyes away from Ezra, I tried to think of unsexy things, like the dirt beneath couch pillows, kitchen ants, and bar patrons puking outside of the Crooked Stool.
He closed his hand over my wrist. “I didn’t mean to get you all flustered,” he said in a low voice, and I forced myself to meet his gaze, if only to prove I was not nearly as affected as he thought.
He chuckled at whatever he saw on my face. “Come on. I intend on keeping my promise to get you to work on time.”
11
ADELINE
On Monday, I waited for Silas outside the studio. I had messaged him the previous night and asked to meet an hour before the rest of the band got there. Now that some time had passed since the kiss, I was eager to clarify some things and make sure we could continue working together without any awkwardness.
The rest of my weekend was either spent at the bar, hanging out with Molly, or repeatedly masturbating in my room. The thought of Cole and Ezra sharing a woman had sent my libido into overdrive, and even after rubbing about a half dozen out, I still wasn’t feeling back to normal.
Why did he have to share that particular bit of information with me? Something that had once been just a fleeting erotic fantasy was now all I could think about. To make matters worse, sometimes Silas, and even Abel, joined Ezra and Cole in my thoughts. Clearly, the tension between the singer and I wasn’t enough to dampen the physical attraction I felt toward him. I was like a teenager going through puberty—restless, horny, and on edge. All of this spelled out serious trouble.
Silas pulled up in his truck, snapping me out of my reverie. I was sure I was wearing a tell-tale blush, and I ran a hand through my hair in a pathetic attempt to appear casual.
“Hey,” I called out to the big man when he got out, and he returned my greeting with a brisk nod. He was wearing a gray bomber and fitted black jeans that flattered his muscular legs. I let out a long breath, steeling myself for the upcoming conversation.
“How was your weekend?” I asked and then bit on my lip.
He took me in, his eyes quickly taking inventory of my bike shorts, white T-shirt and vintage jean jacket. Then he looked away, and my stomach dropped.
“Fine, except for a pretty embarrassing situation with someone I work with.”
Silas being Silas was not one to beat around the bush.
“Did you kiss someone else you work with, or are you talking about me?” I tried to joke to lighten the mood, but his serious expression made it clear he didn’t appreciate the attempt.
After a moment, he sighed. “Adeline, I want to apologize. I was out of line.”
Raising my hand, I stopped him from continuing. “No, I’m the one who should be saying sorry. I’m a mess. I shouldn’t have lashed out at you like that.”
He crossed his arms, brows furrowing. “So did I just completely misread you? You’re not interested in me?”
I struggled to come up with a response. Of course, I found Silas attractive—I wasn’t a corpse. I also looked up to him as a guitarist. He was intense but good-hearted, blunt but thoughtful. I liked him too much, which was exactly the problem. Anything between us would have a depressingly short lifespan of three weeks. I also had no idea how opening Pandora’s box with him would affect my feelings for the rest of his band mates. What if I couldn’t let go of them? What if I thought of Cole or Ezra or Abel while I was kissing Silas? Saying that truth was impossible, but I didn’t want to feed him lies again.
“This gig has been nothing short of a miracle for me,” I started to explain, choosing my words carefully. “If two weeks ago, someone had told me I’d be recording an album with a world-famous metal band that I admired, I’d drive them to the mental institution myself. I feel as if I’ve been swept up by a whirlwind, but I know I have to stay anchored to the ground. Silas, you are incredible in so many ways, but after this month ends, you’ll still be living that same glamorous life, and I’m going to have to go back to normal. It will be hard enough as is to say goodbye to you guys, to the studio… Starting something with you will make it even more complicated. I’m sorry, but I can’t do that right now.”
At last, the guitarist’s face relaxed an inch. “Okay, I get it.” When I gave him a thankful smile, his expression became contemplative. “Why are you so convinced this entire experience is just a blip in your normal reality? How can you be sure it’s not the start of something new?”
My tentative smile faded, and I looked at the ground. “I just am, okay? I’ve long given up on trying to have a career in music, and as thankful as I am to be doing this with you guys, I’m not naive enough to think this somehow boosts my chances of succeeding in a field few ever do. I’m too old and saddled with too many responsibilities to waste my time on silly dreams.”
When I lifted my face, his hazel eyes were indignant. “I think you’re selling yourself short.”
Before I could respond, Ezra’s Jeep pulled up beside Silas’s truck with him and Cole inside.
I turned and greeted the new arrivals, letting Silas’s last statement linger in the air without a response.
“He was a completely different person,” Cole told me as we got set up at the studio. “I wouldn’t have recognized him if I saw him walking in the street.”
I smiled, glad his tense weekend at his sister’s in LA had gone better than expected.
“So you’ll be going back there more often in the future?” I asked.
“When we go back, yeah, I’ll be paying them more visits. Now that I’m reasonably sure he isn’t going to break my sister’s heart, I’ve finally started to get excited about the baby. I’m going to be an uncle soon!”
His grin almost made up for the sharp pang of sadness I felt at the mention of them leaving River Valley when this recording was finished.
Abel introduced a new arrival as we were about to begin—Kyle, the sound engineer. He was going to be working with us on the recording for the next three weeks. He was a slight man who seemed a little intimidated by the band. I greeted him warmly since I’d been in a similar position only a week prior.
We began by running through a few songs from last week. After the extra practice session with Silas, I was able to nail my parts, and Abel seemed pleased, complimenting my playing with a curt, “Good job.” Maybe I was turning a corner with him after all.
For the rest of the day, we focused on laying down the rhythm guitar and drum tracks. The whole day was incredibly productive, and I couldn’t believe we were well past dinner time when I finally looked at the clock.
“Let’s order in. Abel, why don’t we head to your place for dinner?” Cole suggested.
Abel grunted in agreement before going to grab his things from the vocal booth. As I moved to pack up my guitar, Cole nudged my shoulder. “Adeline, you’re in, right?”
I shook my head. “I should get back to Molly, she’s probably lonely at home.”
“I guarantee you she’s spending these last few weeks before college catching up with her high school friends.”
I arched a brow at him. “And you’re an expert on this how exactly? You didn’t even go to college.”
He laughed, a playful sound that never failed to disarm me. “Just a hunch. Why don’t you text her? If she’s really at home, invite her to join us.”
My stomach growled, and a part of me dreaded trying to put together a dinner with whatever groceries we had at home. I’d been so busy last week that I’d bailed on my usual grocery-store trip on Sunday. Instead, I’d used the time to relax and do nothing.
“Okay, let me check with her,” I conceded and pulled out my phone. Cole flashed a triumphant grin.
“Hey, you waiting for me for dinner?”
Moments later, her response arrived. “I’m at Carly’s with a few other girls. I already ate. Sorry :(”
Cole, apparently not a fan of personal space, leaned over my shoulder to see what she’d written.
“Told you,” he whispered, his breath tickling my ear. A shiver ran down my spine at his closeness, and my thoughts immediately returned to Ezra’s story. I nearly groaned with frustration. I had managed to forget about it for the duration of the recording session, but now the images were flooding back.
I stepped away from him, feeling flushed. “Okay, you were right.”
Cole winked, and minutes later, he began placing an order for Thai food over the phone.
Since we’d driven to the studio separately, I got Abel to text his address to me and hopped into my car. On the drive over, I got a call from Mason.
“Yo, Ade! Liam told me about your gig with Bleeding Moonlight. What the hell, dude? Why didn’t you call me?”
“I know, I suck. It’s honestly been a whirlwind, I’m still trying to wrap my head around it,” I admitted.
“I’ll bet.” Mason let out a boyish laugh. “Although I’m pissed as hell you didn’t say anything to me, I’m really happy for you. What’s it like working with metal legends?”
I paused for a moment, looking for the right answer. “It’s intense, but really rewarding. Every day, I’m worried I’m not going to be good enough, but so far, they’ve been willing to help me with parts I’ve found challenging.”
“So you’re getting along with them? I’d expect some wild personalities.”
“Some of them are a handful, for sure,” I responded, thinking of Abel and his frequent moods. The more time I spent around him, the more I wanted to peel back the prickly layer and see what was inside. “But I really can’t complain. It’s a short gig, but I’m getting paid more than fairly.”
“Good, ’cause you’re fucking worth it. It’s about time you owned it,” Mason said, and I scowled at the phone.
“You know, it seems like everyone is on this mission to inflate my confidence, even when I never asked for any help.” I was getting tired of being told that my opinion of myself was wrong. I knew who I was better than anyone else, thank you very much.
“Well, maybe you should listen to everyone for once,” Mason fired back. “Hey, Liam told me we’re meeting up this weekend. I just want to tell you that if you want to keep playing, I’m game. Northeastern is a three-and-a-half-hour drive from here, but I’m not going to let a bit of distance ruin things for everyone. I can come back for practice on the weekends and make it down here for shows. I was thinking I could even look for venues around the college and beg the managers to let us play.”
Hope flared in the darkened corners of my soul. If the band could survive Mason’s move, maybe I’d be fine once I finished this recording. Things would go back to the way they were, I’d find a better job, and I’d still be able to indulge myself on the weekends.
Of course, this all still depended on Liam and Elly, and whether they would be willing to get on the same page.
“Have you talked about this with the others?” I asked.
“I floated the idea to Liam, and he said I’m an idiot. That I’ll be way too busy with classes and friends to come back here. But, I’m not convinced. All I’m saying is if you wanted to make a case for sticking together, I’ll back you up.”
I nodded to myself. Despite my personal desires, I could hear the truth in Liam’s words. Although I never went to college, I knew that going away for school had a way of changing people. When my best friend, Naomi, left three years ago, we’d clutched onto each other with teary eyes as we said goodbye. We promised to stay in touch, but weekly phone calls had soon turned monthly. Then quarterly. In the past year, we’d se
nt the occasional text and had a brief talk on her birthday, but our friendship was a shell of what it once was. I didn’t hold it against her, and if she came back to River Valley next summer instead of working an internship, I’d be glad to see her, but I knew from experience that college brought new friends as much as it helped you forget old ones.
“Okay. Let me think on it,” I said. “I’d love to keep going, but I don’t want to pressure anyone into doing something that would feel more like an obligation than fun. I’ll text you the day before we meet with them so that we can come up with a game plan.”
“Perf. Have fun with the boys this week!” Mason clicked off before I could respond.
I was having fun with them. Maybe a bit too much fun considering how hard my imagination and vibrator had been working.
Abel’s house was a dream. A two-story piece of modern art nestled at the end of a long driveway lined with cypress trees that reached toward the sky. I got out of the car and gaped at it, not even caring about Cole’s amused laugh as he glanced back at me to see why I wasn’t moving.
Of course, Abel was rich. All of them must be. I just never considered exactly how rich.
The house looked like two enormous boxes, the top one turned at an angle on the bottom one. The windows were coated with something that prevented me from seeing inside. That was handy since the facade of the second floor was floor-to-ceiling glass.
I walked on the stone-paved path toward the main door—a single giant piece of rough gray slate. Like those fancy cheeseboards they sold in Home Goods, only four times as thick and… Well, door sized.
Someone’s steps sounded behind me, and I turned to see that Abel had caught up.
“Your house is stunning,” I told him. “I’ve never seen a place like this.”
Taut Strings: A Rock Star Romance (River Valley Rebels) Page 14