Broken Rules

by Jade Buchanan

  Reaching the front door, Neil angrily punched in the code and slid his shoes off inside the cabin. He moved out of the way for Jonah, stalking around the couch to throw himself into the leather chair.

  "Speak."

  Jonah sighed again before clenching his jaw tight. "I don't understand why you're so mad."

  Neil literally felt his blood pressure rise. "You don't understand? What the fuck is there to understand when you're telling people we're brothers instead of lovers."

  "It's none of their business," Jonah declared hotly.

  "Then why did you have to say anything at all?"

  Jonah shook his head, not saying a word.

  Okay, that was it. "I think this might have been a mistake." His chest felt tight, hurt flling every pore.

  Jonah sat forward, his eyes wide and his mouth open in shock. "What? Neil?"

  Neil didn't know how to put his feelings into words. He didn't know how he was supposed to be feeling right now. Hurt and anger were vying for frst place in the emotion war and he felt so unsettled he was nearly crazy with it.

  "You're the one that's gay, but you're what... embarrassed to admit we're together?"

  Jonah jumped to his feet and waved his hands in front of him. "Wait. I'm the one that's gay? What are you? What, is this some kind of gay for you relationship? You gay for me, Neil?" His

  voice lifted at the end.

  Neil stood up, not content to sit back and let Jonah yell at him. He had no fucking right to be upset. "Fuck off, Jonah. I'm not apologizing for who I am or who I choose to be with. If I didn't know better I'd say you're the one that's pissed off that I fuck chicks." Shit, this wasn't going the way he'd imagined it. He could hear himself but it wasn't what he wanted to say. He just couldn't fnd the right words.

  "Oh, that's real nice. Is that how you get them? With your class and grace? You know... I was doing it for you, asshole. This isn't fucking Toronto or Vancouver. Not everyone is gay friendly. I just wanted a few days where we could be ourselves, but I guess that was too much to ask for, wasn't it?"

  Neil sat silently, struck speechless. He didn't know what to say. They'd been so close back when they were kids, and now it was like they were speaking different languages. Maybe the ten years apart was bigger than he'd thought.  

  "Fuck it," Jonah shook his head, turning around to stare out the window. He was so mad he could barely see anything in front of him. What the hell was wrong with Neil? He had no right to be mad at him. He was just trying to… Well, he was just… Shit. What had he been trying to do? Make sure the owners of the bed and breakfast didn't think badly of him? Refuse them service? Why should he care about them?

  Neil was silent at his back, and Jonah wasn't sure what his friend was thinking. Okay, so Neil had been an asshole with the whole gay thing, but maybe…

  "Look, why don't we just take a time out," Neil said.

  Jonah swung around. "Time out of what?" He didn't like the sound of that.

  "This, right here." Neil waved his hand back and forth between them.

  "Non! We're not going to end things now just because we got into our frst fght." Jonah paced forward toward Neil's chair, wanting to shake his friend until he got his head straight.

  "Damn it. That's not what I meant. I just thought that it might be best just to table this and enjoy the rest of the day."

  Jonah shook his head. "I don't think I'd be able to enjoy anything with this hanging over us."

  Neil stood up with a sigh. "You're right. I don't think I could either. So, what?"

  Jonah wasn't afraid to be the frst to admit he may have made a mistake. "I'm sorry. I don't want you to think I'm ashamed of who I am or who I'm with. I'm not, I swear. It's just complicated. Especially since coming back from Ontario. I don't know what it is. I've never done this before."

  He wasn't sure if any of this was coming out right. All he knew was that he'd panicked when talking to Susan. He didn't know how to describe what they were doing. Hell, he didn't even know what they were doing.

  "I'm sorry, too. I jumped to conclusions and I shouldn't have gone all up your ass about it. I get that you're afraid about what other people are going to think, but I can't live like that. I've never hidden who I am."

  "Except in the Tri-Towns." And why did he have to bring that up? Damn it, Jonah.

  Thankfully, Neil chuckled. "Okay, fne. You're right. Anyway, I understand the need to be unobtrusive sometimes."

  So, they'd both apologized. What next? Jonah wasn't sure what he wanted to happen next. This weekend had been great overall, but they lived in different Provinces. Geez, at least three thousand kilometers separated them. The frst time he'd come out west to Calgary, he'd been driving. It'd taken him three damned days. Sure, it was a lot quicker by plane but who was going to be able to afford that for more than a couple trips? His fight to the funeral had cost nearly a thousand bucks.

  "Come here." Neil held out his arms.

  Jonah walked into Neil's embrace, clasping him tightly.

  "What happens next?" Neil asked.

  Jonah shrugged. "I don't know." He considered his words. "I mean… I want to see what we can have together but it might be too diffcult. I can't take work off and you can't keep fying out here to see me. So what, we just talk on the phone? Is that a relationship?" He needed Neil to walk him through this. He felt like he was fumbling any time things got serious. He was fne when it was just sex or just friends. It was this combination he had with Neil that was tripping him up.

  "I don't want to just quit before we even get started. I want to fnd out what can happen."

  "I just don't know."

  Neil kissed the top of his head. "Can we take it one day at a time? Maybe not make any decisions right now?"

  Jonah hesitated.

  "J? Please."

  Shaken, Jonah nodded. "Yeah. One day at a time. I can do that." It wasn't enough, but it would do for now.

  chAPteR seventeen

  "Hi, Mr. C!"

  Jonah turned at the high-pitched voice. "Hi there, Olivia."

  Olivia came running up, pig-tails bouncing. She was one of his favorites here at the club, but he'd never admit that to any of the other kids.

  "Mr. C, are you married?"

  "No, Olivia. I'm not."

  "Do you have a girlfriend?"

  "Nope. Don't have one of those either."

  "A boyfriend?"

  Jonah nearly choked. "Nope." He wasn't sure what Neil was, but he knew he wasn't about to discuss it with a kid.

  "My uncle has a boyfriend named Dillon."

  Jonah blinked. "Does he?"

  "Yep. He's nice. I like Dillon."

  'That's great."

  "Bye, Mr. C!" Olivia waved before skipping off to join the rest of the kids gathered around Billy. Jonah's coworker must be just about ready to start his program for the afternoon. Jonah didn't envy him, seemed like half the kids had more than a normal amount of sugar fowing through their veins right now. Joy. School was out so they were all piling into the club's summer programs.

  Thankfully, Jonah had started early today so he was done for the day. He ambled toward his offce, smiling at the kids who called out to him. Jonah sat at his desk, pinching the bridge of his nose.

  "Mr. C!"

  Jonah glanced up, seeing Sean standing in his doorway. "Yes, Sean?"

  "Teddy called me a fuckface."

  "Wha…?"

  "I don't even know what a fuckface is, but it doesn't sound very nice."

  He couldn't laugh, he couldn't laugh. Shit, he couldn't laugh. Jonah pursed his lips. "You're right, Sean. That isn't very nice. I'll go talk to Teddy."

  "Okay. See you tomorrow."

  "Bye, Sean."

  Jonah waited until Sean left his offce before putting his head on his desk and shaking with laughter. Neil was going to love this one. He was always asking Jonah to tell him stories about the kids and the antics they came up with.

  Luckily for Jonah, or maybe unluckily, he had a lot of
stories to tell. There was something about working with kids that kept you on your toes.

  Finally getting himself under control, he started to pull his things together to leave for the day. Shutting off his offce light, Jonah waved to Billy. The other man jogged over to him.

  "You off?"

  "Yeah, I'll be in early again tomorrow. We need to get the programs fnalized. I still have parents calling to try and ft their kids in or move them around, and I haven't had any luck getting that last volunteer spot flled."

  Billy shrugged. "We'll fgure it out. Let me know if you want me to stay late tomorrow. I don't mind flling in the hours."

  "I might need you to do that for me. I don't like asking Carol to stay late with all that she's going through with her husband. Thanks, Balzac. I appreciate the offer." Jonah sighed. "So, how'd things go today?"

  Rolling his eyes, Billy glanced around them. Obviously checking that no kids were within earshot, he fnally leaned toward Jonah. "I had to kick Cam and Marie out of my last program."

  "Why?" Not that it was unheard of, kids got kicked out of programs all the time. It was one thing Jonah was happy about. They didn't have to put up with shit here, not like at the schools.

  "I caught the two of them in one of the rooms upstairs. She was standing on a table with a rice cracker held up against her… you know, and Cam was licking it. The rice cracker, not her… you know."

  Jonah closed his eyes, feeling a tightness start in his temples. "Tabarnac."

  "Yep, I was shocked."

  "Tell me about it. I would have been too." Jonah shook his head and blinked at Billy.

  "Yep. Didn't know Cam would even eat rice crackers. You see the way that boy goes through potato chips? Who knew he could be healthy?"

  Jonah sputtered, hitting Billy on the arm. "Seriously?"

  "Okay okay. Fine, I was shocked at what they were doing. When I was twelve, no fricking way I knew how to do that. You ever feel old?"

  "Heck, yes. I can't believe I'm saying that when I'm just twenty-eight, but I feel old around these kids."

  "Hey, I have you beat by two years, but I'm feeling ancient. Anyway, that's about it. Nothing else to report."

  "Okay. Well, let me know if Cam's parents throw a fuss. I'll talk to them."

  "Thanks, Jonah. See you tomorrow."

  Jonah fnally left the club, heading for his Jeep. Pulling out, he mindlessly started to drive home.

  Forty-fve minutes later Jonah threw his backpack onto his bed, feeling about as limp as a noodle. He hated days like this. He was exhausted.

  He'd enjoyed spending time with Neil during their weekend together, but after the whole brothers debacle Jonah wasn't sure what would happen between them now.

  It had been over a week since Neil had left and Jonah still wasn't even sure what to call what they were doing. Were they in a relationship? They'd seen each other exactly twice in the last ten years, and those had both been within such a short time. Okay, and now he was going to stop. He'd spent most of the past week going over all this crap in his mind so he wasn't going to have another repeat. He just didn't know what to do. They lived in different provinces. How could a relationship between them work?

  Before he could get too comfortable, the sound of the doorbell interrupted him. Sighing, Jonah tried to fgure out if he should ignore it, but that probably wasn't a good idea. Pacing down the stairs, Jonah reached his front door.

  Mary Lynn and Terri stared back at him, looking more than a little concerned. Uh oh. That couldn't be good. "Ladies? What's up?"

  The two women were his neighbors on the other side of the duplex he lived in. They had become fast friends after Jonah had moved in a few years back and he couldn't imagine what could put that look on their faces. Whenever he had to go out of town they looked after his place and he returned the favor when they went on holidays. Only, he didn't have the cat from hell, so the tradeoff wasn't exactly fair. Prissy had scratched him pretty good last time he cat sat.

  "There's someone here to see you."

  "Qui?"

  "Hi, Jonah."

  Jonah reared back at the quiet voice. "David? What are you doing here?"

  Mary Lynn moved to the side, revealing the small fgure behind her. Jonah gasped. The entire left side of David's face was pretty much one big purple shadow. The swelling was so severe around his eye it was shut tight. David was holding his arm protectively in front of his body and Jonah was afraid to touch him lest his make something worse.

  "Mon maudit ostie de crisse!"

  "I'm okay." David winced.

  "You are not okay, so don't you dare lie to me, David Brogan. What happened? What are you doing here? Who did this to you? Have you been to the hospital? Crisse, David." He couldn't even touch the boy. He wasn't sure what was wrong with him and he was afraid of hurting David more. What the fuck was David doing here in Calgary?

  David shrugged, breathing hard.

  Terri stepped forward before Jonah could ask another question. "He was camped out on your step this morning. We've had him over at our place all day waiting for you to come home from work. Mary checked him out and it doesn't look like anything's broken. Of course, they probably wouldn't have let him on the plane if anything was broken, but you never know."

  Jonah inhaled. "David?" He was close to freaking out here. What had happened?

  "I'm okay. I swear it. I just…" A single tear traced down the unmarred cheek. "I didn't know where to go. Neil's going to kill me."

  Jonah sighed, staring back at David's sad face. "Okay, come in. Mary Lynn, Terri, thank you for keeping an eye out for him."

  "Any time, bebe." Mary Lynn waved before capturing Terri's hand and pulling her down the back porch.

  Jonah ushered David inside, taking note of the backpack slung over one shoulder. Looked like David might have planned for a trip. What was he doing here? "Before we go anywhere, I have to ask you this."

  David tensed.

  "Does anyone know you're here?" Jonah tried to keep his voice soft.

  A quick jerk of the head was David's answer.

  "Did someone do this to you? Or were you in an accident?" Jonah ushered David further into his house.

  It was the living room that Jonah ushered David into, getting him to sit on the couch in front of the big picture window.

  "It's complicated," David said.

  "David. Please, talk to me. How'd you get here?"

  David fdgeted. "I used Neil's credit card to pay for a fight out here."

  Jonah lowered his voice, trying to soothe. "We need to call your parents. Or one of your brothers. Anyone you want, but I need to call someone in your family."

  David blanched. "Please, don't..."

  "David, I don't have a choice. You can stay here, if that's what you want. But we need to call your family. Neil must be going nuts, and he's a cop. You don't think he's going to put out feelers if you've disappeared?"

  David hung his head, reaching up and placing both hands over his eyes.

  "Please, let me help you."

  "I didn't mean…"

  Jonah sat down in the chair beside David, keeping silent.

  "I didn't mean for it to happen." David sniffed, pressing the back of his hand over his mouth. "I wanted to see what it was like. I didn't know who to talk to. None of my friends would understand, they don't swing that way. I mean, I could have gone to Neil, but I didn't know what to say to him, and I just didn't want to wait."

  David fnally looked at him. Jonah nodded, encouraging him to continue.

  "I heard about this club, over the Quebec border."

  "You're not eighteen, David." The words came out before he

  could stop them. Shit. "I'm not judging, I'm just asking how you got in."

  "No, I am. I mean, my birthday was last week but… they didn't check my ID anyway. They asked me how old I was and I said I was legal. I mean, I told them I was from Ontario and most of the kids from Temiskaming go to Quebec to drink."

  "Hey, that's been happening
since long before I was a kid. Goes to show you what happens when Ontario's drinking age is nineteen and Quebec's is eighteen." Jonah fgured his job right now was to keep David calm and fnd out exactly what happened.