"And what about all the people that had to use it?"
"Put a sign on it saying out of order."
"Crisse, what if it started to lean on you or something?" Jonah accented his words by leaning into Neil's body.
Neil started to laugh before slinging an arm around Jonah and pressing a kiss to the side of his face.
"Fucking faggots."
Whoa, what the hell was that? Neil glanced behind him to spy a few guys standing there. They were all dressed similarly in jeans, cowboys boots, plaid shirts and ball caps. One of the guys was glaring at Jonah and Neil with a disgusted look on his face. Neil started to turn back around. He didn't give a shit about what anyone else thought of him.
"Don't know why they even let fags into this bar. Makes me want to puke."
Okay, that was it. Neil jerked back around and stood up. Jonah instantly put his hand on Neil's arm and started to pull him back.
One of the guys that was with the asshole suddenly inserted himself between the guy and Neil. "Fuck off, Steve. Switch to water before you get us all thrown out."
Steve apparently decided to heed his friend because he stalked off without a backward glance. The Good Samaritan nodded his head at Neil before following his friend away.
Jonah was quiet when they got home. Neil wasn't sure what was wrong but he had a feeling it had something to do with that lovely little exchange earlier. Jonah was currently stripping off his clothes and getting ready for bed but Neil knew he should try and hash something out before he missed this chance. He just didn't know what to say.
"Babe?"
Jonah glanced up. "Eh?" He walked out the doorway in just his boxer briefs and turned into the bathroom.
Neil followed him—still fully dressed—and braced himself against the doorframe while Jonah started to brush his teeth. "You okay?" he fnally asked.
Jonah shrugged.
"You're kind of quiet."
"I'm just thinking about things."
"What kind of things?" He wanted Jonah to confde in him. Wanted to know what was eating his friend. He wondered if it had something to do with what happened at the bar.
Jonah shrugged before turning to face him fully. "Why is it that some parents raise their kids to have an open mind and respect everyone around them and then some kids end up growing up with hate and prejudices?"
"That's society, I guess. Nothing much we can do about it except show a positive image that will hopefully change one person's mind. If you can do that then you end up getting closer to that ripple effect that ends up spilling throughout every community."
"Yeah. I just wish I'd had parents that were open-minded."
Neil reached forward, pressing a kiss to Jonah's forehead. "I know. I'm sorry, J."
"How do I tell anyone that my mom thought I was a disappointment? That her last thoughts before she died were about her gay son and how he was going to Hell."
"Jonah." Neil reached out his arms but Jonah stepped back away from him.
"No, it's okay."
"No, it's not."
Jonah shrugged. "You're right. It's not okay. I just…"
"Jonah, whatever your mom thought about you being gay, she loved you."
"But, is that really love? I mean, if you can't get over your beliefs and just be there for your child, what does that say about you?"
He privately agreed with Jonah but he wasn't sure that was the best thing to say right now. "It's probably complicated."
"Yeah, story of my life."
Shit. Neil wanted to kick Jonah's dad's ass. Then he wanted to go hug both his parents and thank them for always being there for him. For all he knew they could have been disappointed in him too—still could, for all that—but they'd never once made him feel like they were. He fgured that was what counted. Not that they might be holding back, but that they never made him feel like they were.
"Come to bed?" Jonah asked, cutting into his thoughts.
Neil nodded. This wasn't fnished, but he wanted to end the day with a good memory.
chAPteR twenty two
Neil followed Jonah into the bedroom.
"You have too many clothes on," Jonah said, before sliding his briefs down. He was only half-hard but a few quick pumps of Jonah's hand had his dick perking up nicely.
Licking his lips, Neil started to take off his own clothes. It wasn't pretty and he was never going to be much of a stripper, but luckily Jonah didn't seem to care about that. Naked, Neil threw himself onto the bed and sent a saucy grin in Jonah's direction.
"No, sit on the edge. I want to do something for you."
Raising his brows, Neil complied readily. He had a feeling he knew what Jonah was going to do and he was most defnitely going to enjoy this.
With a grin, Jonah slid down to the foor in front of Neil. Shit, he moved like a stripper, but Neil had no intention of actually saying that out loud. It wasn't his fault Jonah was fucking sensual but he knew Jonah wouldn't take kindly to the comparison.
Although, the visual alone was going to send Neil into orbit without much else.
On second thought… the frst touch of Jonah's tongue on his cock had him nearly crying out. Wet heat surrounded him and fried all his synapses until Neil was a big puddle of mush that Jonah could do whatever he wanted to. A small part of his brain told him he should be reciprocating in some way but all Neil could think about was holding onto Jonah's head as the man bobbed up and down on his dick. Fuck. Oh, shit, this wasn't going to last. It was incredible. Soft, slow and curling his toes with every lick and nibble. That wet heat moved down to his balls and laved them thoroughly.
Neil grunted, pulling on Jonah's hair slightly to get him to move back up to the main event. He didn't care if it was selfsh, he wanted to fnd his release inside Jonah's fucking sinful mouth.
Jonah had one hand pressed along Neil's thigh, clenching his fngers with every bob of his head. His other arm jerked in a steady rhythm.
Jonah cried out, tensing against Neil's legs. Something wet splashed on Neil's foot. Fuck, yeah. That was nice. Just the thought of Jonah coming from blowing him had Neil arching his back and hitting his orgasm. Shit, no. He wanted to last longer. Fuck. He let go of Jonah's head, clutching his hands in the sheets to either side of him.
"Fuck. Damn it, Jonah. Oh…" Crying out, Neil started to come. Jonah swallowed convulsively. Neil closed his eyes, panting harshly. A soft gagging sound reached his ears. Concerned, Neil managed to blink his eyes open to stare at Jonah. Hazel eyes started back at him with a look of horror.
"Shit. That was embarrassing." Coughing, Jonah stayed kneeling on the foor with Neil's come in a puddle in front of him.
Neil chuckled lightly. "It's not a big deal. We'll just get some more practice in."
Jonah rolled his eyes which just set Neil off more.
"Aw, don't worry. I won't tell anyone you can't deep throat. We'll just pretend it's because I have such a big dick." Neil snickered.
"Ha ha. Funny guy. Wait, why would you tell anyone?" Jonah quirked an eyebrow.
"Hmm. I might have to take out an advertisement in the Temiskaming Speaker."
Jonah slapped Neil's thigh. "Oh, you're just asking for it now, tarla."
Neil tried to move out of the way but he was feeling too sated. "Hey, I know that one! Don't call me a dimwit."
"Sorry, eh." "Hoser," he crooned.
Jonah snorted. "Thanks, Bob."
"No problem, Doug."
Jonah stood up and hit Neil on the arm before he shook his head. "You're utterly hopeless."
"Yeah, I guess I am." Neil snickered. He grabbed Jonah by the arms and hauled him in close for a smacking kiss. "Come on. Let's go to sleep."
Jonah and Neil were cuddled together on the couch the next day—Jonah snuggled frmly in Neil's arms with a book while Neil watched the Argos battle the Alouettes—when the phone rang. Neil reached over to pick up the cordless before handing it to Jonah. "I think it's Rita-Anne."
"Thanks. Hello, Reet."
"Hello, mon petit chou-feur."
"What's up?" he asked.
"I talked to Mom last night. She says hi."
"Tell her hi back next time you talk to her. What's new with her?"
"Oh, man. You aren't going to believe this. She was talking to Elsie. You remember cousin Elsie?"
Jonah thought he knew who she was talking to. He wouldn't have seen the woman in years.
"Anyway," Reet continued, not waiting for him to reply. "Cousin Elsie was telling Mom about Uncle Dougie and the rest of his kids. Elsie used to live with them for awhile there back when she was having trouble with her parents. As mom says Elsie's mother wasn't all there half the time so she couldn't live with her. Thank goodness they only had Elsie or things would have been even uglier."
"Uh, right." What the hell was she talking about? He knew Uncle Dougie was his mom's Uncle, but he didn't think he'd ever met the man. Come to think of it, he'd died, hadn't he?
Neil tightened his hold on Jonah before smoothing one hand down Jonah's stomach. Jonah shivered before smacking Neil's hand aside.
"Elsie was telling Mom that Uncle Dougie had a twin. Mom got all het up and told her that wasn't true and Elsie told her that Uncle Dougie was in Walmart once years back and he looked in a mirror and saw a man that looked just like him and he had the exact same mole on his face as Uncle Dougie. Listen, can you hear that fool Henry laughing in the background? He's been doing that all day whenever I mention Uncle Dougie. Anyway, Elsie apparently told Mom that Uncle Dougie was convinced that it was his twin and that his twin must have been given up for adoption when they were born."
Jonah started to laugh. "Wait, he looked in a mirror and saw someone that looked just like him?"
"Yeah. You remember what our mom's always told us about Uncle Dougie, right? He was some backwoods folk who probably had never seen himself in a mirror before. The poor man apparently went right home and shaved that mole right off."
"You can't shave a mole off!"
"Well, apparently if you really give it a good go, you can scrape it the hell up."
Jonah started to whoop, leaning forward and breaking Neil's hold. He could barely breath he was laughing so hard. Henry was audible in the background beyond Rita-Anne, nearly choking.
After another ten minutes of similar banality, Jonah fnally said goodbye and collapsed against Neil with a groan. "My cheeks hurt."
"Your cousin is a handful. You think she's bad, though, you should really see her and Debbie go at it when they get a few drinks in them."
Jonah could just picture that. "I don't know how Haileybury survives them."
Neil pushed him forward, slipping out from behind Jonah and walking toward the kitchen. He raised his voice. "My family reunion is worse. I swear, all the relatives come out of the woodwork and we have a long weekend where we just laugh and joke and pretty much kill ourselves."
"Sounds fun. You used to have those when you were a kid, right?" Jonah remembered that. But, he remembered Neil hating them.
Neil came back in holding two pops. He waved one of the cans at Jonah and handed it over when Jonah nodded. Instead of sitting down, Neil leaned his back against the half wall.
"Yeah, we still have them every couple of years. There are just too many relatives and half of them moved out of the area so it's pretty much the only time we have to get together outside of funerals and weddings. They're pretty cool, though. I think when I reached adulthood the rest of the cousins and aunts and uncles started talking to us more. We have a good time. You'd love it."
"I'm sure I would." Jonah chuckled, imagining what it would be like to have that many Brogan's all in the same place. He cracked the top of his can and took a sip of coke. "Do you still rent out that place on the lake?"
"Yep. We close down the campground and it's just our family. We had over eighty people there the last one. Seriously, you'd love it. We barbeque the entire weekend, all the ladies cook potluck, and the kids go out in the lake. Wait until you meet my Uncle Foster. You're going to love him."
Whoa. Wait. Neil had gone from Jonah loving it to apparently Jonah going with him.
"You know half the family anyway, so you'll ft right in."
Wait...
"I guess this actually makes things easier when we go back north. You know most of my family and I think I know all of your family by now."
"Uh…"
Neil must have sensed something wrong because he fnally stopped and glanced over at Jonah. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
Neil placed his unopened drink on the top of the half wall and took one step forward. "Is it… Okay. Look, this may be a stupid question, but do you have any intention of introducing me to your friends as your lover?"
Jonah froze. Neil couldn't ask him that. It was too soon. Wasn't it? He opened his mouth but no words came to mind so he closed it again with a snap.
Neil frowned. "I mean, have you even told anyone we're together?"
Jonah shrugged. He clutched his pop can tightly in his left hand and started to worry the tab at the top with the fngers of his right hand. "Well, you met Billy and he knows. I'm sure Mary Lynn and Terri get the picture by now with how many times you've come to visit but I haven't really said anything to them specifcally. Rita-Anne knows. And Henry."
Neil was giving him a strange look so Jonah rushed on. "But, it's not like you've told a whole bunch of people either."
Neil shrugged. "Actually I have. I mean, Mom and Dad know and so do all the brothers and their wives and girlfriends. My co workers know about it. Mom mentioned it to her sister too, and I know she's told Uncle Pete. I'm not sure who else she's told but I know she's pretty happy about us so… Did you not want anyone to know?"
Jonah breathed out loudly. "What was she thinking? Everyone at home is going to know about it if she's telling people. Don't you know what they're going to be saying about us? Crisse, Neil!"
"What? It's not a big deal."
"It is a big deal and I can't understand why you're brushing it off. I'm gay. We're gay. Well, I mean. You're, whatever. But, if the whole town knows about us, can't you see why that's a bad thing?" This was just like Strathmore. Why was Neil so relaxed about this? Father Pete knew? He was a priest. What was Neil's
mom thinking?
Neil shook his head. "No, I really don't see why that's a bad thing. Who cares?"
"I care!" Jonah shouted. "I care what they think. Don't you?"
Neil sat down on the coffee table, facing Jonah. He clasped his hands together in front of him. "Look, I get it, Jonah. I really do. I mean hell, I'm bisexual and there isn't anybody that's cool with that. But, I really don't care. I'm okay with who I am because I don't care about the label. It's just a word. I don't care what others think about me."
That just made no sense. Sure, it sounded good in theory, but it just wasn't possible. "You're telling me you just don't care. At all?"
"Exactly. I mean, I wasn't always that way. But I am now. I am who I am and no one is going to change that but me."
Jonah wasn't sure what to think. He didn't believe that was possible. Not for him, at least. He knew, rationally, he should be able to see himself the same way he'd see one of his kids if they were in this position. But, it just wasn't possible. In some ways, he was still that scared eighteen year old. There were only a handful of people that had ever stood up for him, and he didn't know why anyone else's opinion mattered but it did. Stupid. Irrational. Confusing. He needed more time to go over everything in his mind. Why was Neil rushing this?
"Jonah, I just don't get it. Why are you so afraid of what others think? Why are you trying to hide who you are? You're an amazing person. Why can't you just accept that?"
"It's not that easy. I can't just change who I am and go marching in a parade waving a rainbow fag. You don't understand. You've never been kicked out of your home, your family, your entire life just for being gay. You've never had to start over. Merde, Neil. Do you even know how long it took me to pick up those pi
eces?"
Neil sighed. "I'm sorry, Jonah. I'm willing to wait until you're comfortable but I need to know that at some point we can be open about our relationship. I need to know that at some time in the future I can bring you to family reunions back home and we aren't going to have to call ourselves friends. I want to be able to introduce myself as your lover. Maybe your husband one day."
"I… can't. I… Crisse, Neil. Husband?"
Neil tensed, his face betraying his hurt. He straightened his back, pulling away from Jonah slightly. "Yeah. I mean… where did you see this going?"
"I don't know. I just… you're moving too fast."
Broken Rules Page 20