Finding Serenity in Seasons of Stress

by Candy Paull

  The place where we live as well as the pace of life we choose offer a reflection of our deepest priorities. They are barometers that do not lie, offering clues to what is going on inside our hearts and minds. You can be stressed by overstimulation as well as by depression. Either way, you lose your natural equilibrium, you become off-center, you lose your balance. Making choices that encourage and cultivate inner serenity and facilitate a connection to the heart will bring you back to center, back to the home within that grounds you and nourishes your soul.

  Come home to yourself by making your home more serene and by making choices that nurture your soul and make sense to you. Visionary architects and designers help clients create living spaces built around their values and ideals. You can design a life through conscious choices that honor the deepest, most authentic part of yourself. Trust your intuition, because it is a trustworthy guide. Ask yourself, “Does this choice make an authentic contribution to my life, or is it a distraction that makes me feel less alive, less free, and less happy?”

  Activity: Take a Home Retreat

  After a tough week, pamper yourself at home. You may not be able to stay at a bed-and-breakfast or relax at an expensive spa, but you can create a home retreat that will allow you time and space for rest, relaxation, and renewal—without the expense of travel or the bother of packing a suitcase. Unplug the media, turn off the electronics, and let your soul soak in the silence. Sleep in and enjoy the comfort of your own bed. Cuddle under the covers and revel in a morning without deadlines or to-do lists. Make simple meals ahead or buy food at a deli, ensuring that you have something special to eat without a lot of effort. Let your day unfold at a leisurely pace. A good book, soft music, toast, and tea by the fireside or a snooze in the sun might be elements of a happy day. Enjoy sweet communion with a loved one who makes the day even better. Do whatever delights your heart—or do nothing. Wind down in the evening with a bit of prayer and meditation to nurture spirit as well as body and soul.

  Three Affirmations

  I am willing to let go of old preconceptions and explore new ways of looking at life.

  My home nourishes my soul and is a creative reflection of the inner serenity I am cultivating.

  I know that I am guided as I listen to my heart and keep an open mind.

  If you bring forth what is within you,

  what you bring forth will save you.

  If you do not bring forth what is within you,

  what you do not bring forth will destroy you.

  —Jesus, Gospel of Thomas

  The body lives at the intersection between the temporal and the transcendent. It has its own dimension of being and its own intelligence. Animals know this, living fully in their bodies and following their instincts. Just watch a cat stretch. Not only is the cat at ease, with a natural grace, it knows how to just be still and present in the moment in a way humans seldom allow themselves to be. This is a quality of life lived in partnership with the body that we can cultivate.

  Athletes do it in sport. Disciplines like yoga and aikido bring about this union of body, mind, and spirit. Dancers and drummers learn to feel their bodies fully, from within, and that kinesthetic sense shows them how to move with joy, with grace, with ease. The potter feels the clay. The woodworker knows the wood. The farmer develops an understanding of the land to bring forth the best crop.

  Our own physical body possesses a wisdom which we who inhabit the body lack.

  —Henry Miller

  Ralph Waldo Emerson, in his essay “The Poet,” wrote, “As the traveler who has lost his way, throws his reins on his horse’s neck, and trusts to the instinct of the animal to find his road, so must we do with the divine animal who carries us through this world. For if in any manner we can stimulate this instinct, new passages are opened for us into nature, the mind flows into and through things hardest and highest, and the metamorphosis is possible.”

  Enjoy the Bliss of Your Body

  Most of us buy into our society’s images of the body. Starving it with diets and punishing it with exercises to whip it into shape, we live as if our bodies were the enemy or something we need to conquer and control. But there is another way, one so instinctive that babies and children know it; something we know ourselves when we forget our judgments and just let ourselves be. Nonjudgmental awareness, an alert observation without comment or criticism, opens the door to another relationship to the body, one in which the body becomes the teacher and we are the students. Listening, feeling, sensing our way into the heart of the body slowly teaches that the body is sending signals to us all the time—even when our minds are contemptuous and dismissive. Ignoring what the body is trying to tell us, we become ill, or our pain and discomfort are so great we have to learn a better way to partner with this physical entity that is us. Flesh and bone, blood and sinew, the body is a master teacher for those who are willing to learn from the humility of things close to the earth. The body is teacher and the vessel where spiritual alchemy can take place.

  If the body is in harmony with life, it is naturally a body of bliss. Imagine the pleasure of the senses when you come home from a walk in the crisp outdoor air: a sweet scent of roses, a symphony or jazz playing in the background, a delicious meal, the warmth of a fire, a soothing back rub, a loving embrace, a bed to cradle you after a long day.

  Yes, there is pain and suffering. But look at how much sensuous bliss the body offers every single day, and how it reminds you constantly of the goodness of creation. A morning cup of coffee, the warmth of water running down your back as you shower, a brush pulled through hair, the color and softness of a cozy sweater, the smell of freshly baked bread, and the taste of a crisp apple. Even a simple morning ritual becomes a panoply of sensations when experienced with awareness and attention. Seeing, smelling, touching, hearing, tasting—all the senses—combine to offer a banquet of bliss, if we are not too tense and stressed to experience it. Entering into a more relaxed and aware relationship with your own body can make you feel more alive, more grateful for the gifts of life.

  The bliss of the body is often felt and seen in the mysterious enchantment babies bring with them. Even in the most sordid and sad circumstances, their innocence truly does trail clouds of glory. We catch a glimpse of what authentic human nature really is. Being the mother of a newborn isn’t all rosebuds and good feelings. It’s real, it’s raw, and life for new parents is often seen through a haze of sleep deprivation. Yet the baby’s gentle presence awakens mysterious forces of compassion, tenderness, and love beyond the power of words to describe. A baby may be tiny and helpless, but there is no doubt that here is a whole person, a human being ready to grow and evolve, yet perfectly at home in the present moment.

  I have heard that the body listens to rhythms the mind can’t even hear. The wind and the sunset are like a dog whistle to the bones, but the mind is deaf to their high, clear missive.

  —John Lee

  There is a unique and mysterious essence of your true self that longs to express itself in the world. Moving from mental concepts into the body’s intelligence can help you intuit the mystical image you were born with, the larger story you are meant to live. This practical mysticism embraces both matter and spirit, tracing the ways mind, body, soul, and spirit are interconnected, and how the wisdom of the senses can be tapped into for greater spiritual understanding and soul growth. Moving beyond mental maps of the ways you think things are supposed to be and into the here and now of the body helps you discover the mystical image you were born with and grow into the larger story you are meant to live.

  When you move into a deeper understanding of your life beyond the dictates and mind-set of your culture, family, religion, and past experience, important questions arise. Whether these questions are precipitated by a crisis or by a growing dissatisfaction with the way your life is unfolding, you find yourself asking: “Who am I?” and “Why am I here?” These are questions that every human being on earth must face sooner or later. The body partners with th
e mind to bring all dimensions of your being into play in seeking solutions. Ask yourself:

  To whom do I give my power? To the one who would destroy or devalue my work and treat me poorly? Or am I willing to claim my own power, authority, and creative energies?

  Do I judge my worth by the standards of the world? Or am I willing to go deeper and move into a place that transcends judgments, old stories, and my cultural conditioning?

  Am I willing to make the journey that could transform my life as I have known it? Am I willing to follow my heart and trust my intuition? Am I willing to partner with my body and deepest instincts to discover the next stage in my personal evolution?

  Your body often knows the answers before your mind does. The body is a wise guide that most people ignore. You can use the body’s bliss—or the absence of bliss and presence of discomfort—as an interior guidance system. Resistance, unease, distress, tension, and pain are all trying to tell you something. Are you willing to listen to the messages your body offers? Simply by training yourself to observe and be aware of the sensations and energies that constantly flow in a river of life through your body, you can tap into a physical intelligence that will help you find serenity, sanity, and intuitive insight. It is not a matter of fixing or diagnosing or planning; it is a skill of inner listening that empowers you to feel, see, and hear what you have missed before. By including your body in the dialogue of body, mind, and spirit, you bring all facets of your being into alignment. Therefore you discover more authentic answers to your questions and dilemmas.

  Your mind is not sacrificed as you travel into this inner world of bodily intelligence. You gain a richer, fuller understanding that will satisfy your mind’s need for information and decision making. You also gain a source of guidance that can lead you moment by moment through any crisis, change, or difficulty. All the wisdom to navigate life is within you, for you are connected to everything that exists. All the power, all the peace, all the good there is can be accessed in this moment, in the rhythm of your beating heart, the flow of your in-and-out breathing, the aliveness that pulsates in every cell of your body. Move into body time and discover a more balanced and integrated way to approach the stresses and challenges of your daily life.

  In a mechanical way of looking at the world, body, mind, and spirit can be defined and separated, each in its own watertight compartment. Analogies often include machines and building blocks. But, as Ralph Waldo Emerson said in his essay “Spiritual Laws”: “The simplicity of the universe is very different from the simplicity of a machine.… The wild fertility of nature is felt in comparing our rigid names and reputations with our fluid consciousness.” In the emerging paradigm, there is no separation. Body, mind, and spirit are so intertwined that whatever you do with one affects the other, and is the other. Nature is a fecund source, not only of the physical life on earth, but of the consciousness that knits body, mind, and spirit into a larger whole than we yet understand or imagine. It offers a passage from a lifeless universe to a cosmos breathing with mystery and invitation.

  An Essential Blend

  In fact, the true unity of body, mind, and spirit is more like creating an essential oil blend than fine-tuning an automobile. I love aromatherapy; creating therapeutic essential-oil blends is exciting. I take deep pleasure in starting with a good carrier oil and creating an uplifting floral or invigorating mountain blend to wear as perfume during the day. Jasmine, rose, and neroli oil make me feel more feminine. Spruce, pine, and spearmint create a blend that brings high mountain meadows home to me. Each essential oil has its own signature scent and therapeutic value. Blended together in an unscented lotion or carrier oil, each mixture offers an amplified and transmuted aroma—a greater therapeutic and emotional value than one single essential oil.

  Imagine the perfect blend for the essential human being: a superior carrier oil (Infinite Intelligence), then three different essential oils added to the carrier oil (body, mind, and spirit). Add in other drops of essential oils such as experiences, attitudes, thoughts, habits, choices, and relationships. Soon you have a complex and unique oil blend that brings its own particular character to life. Once a drop of essential oil is added to the carrier oil, there is no separation. Add the next drop, and the next, and all of the oils come together inseparably, creating a synergy that did not exist before.

  Now imagine that you have been making your own essential blend as you create the fragrance of your own life. Every person you meet is also his own unique blend of essences, and each brings a special aroma and therapeutic gift to the world. Think of your body, mind, and spirit the next time you make soup, mix a drink, or spray on a perfume. Ask yourself what fragrance and flavor you are bringing to life. In the New Testament, Paul tells the Corinthians that they can be the smell of death or the fragrance of life to others. How can you add more life to your essential essence so that you offer the world your own unique fragrance of being a fully alive human being?

  Understanding the Primitive Brain

  The anxious thought, the worried feeling—where do these conditions begin? They reflect the primitive mind of the fearful reptile, scanning the horizon, alert to danger even if there is no danger to be seen. The primitive brain exists in all of us, and as we learn to understand it, we can make wiser choices when anxiety or worry would drain us of the joy in life. On some days these familiar anxious feelings arise like ghosts out of our distant past, haunting the day and dimming the colors of life into shades of black and white and gray. We create our own portrait of depression and fear, shadowing our vision with drab opinions and even darker judgments. We become frustrated trying to predict and control what cannot be predicted, controlled, or explained. Anxiety, worry, fear, and dire predictions of horrific scenarios are our reptile brain gone wild. It is the ancient mind arising, taking over today with worries about the future, regrets about the past, and a two-color, two-dimensional view of a multidimensional rainbow reality.

  What does the moment say? What dimensions and depths are being missed because the mind is running ahead of the body? What joys and pleasures are lost because we are tense and on guard—even if we don’t know what we are tense and on guard for? The body, in this case, is wiser than the reptilian mind, for the body lives in the forever here, the eternal now. While the mind is caught up in memory or anticipation, the body is grounded in what exists in this moment. The mind races ahead, scatters its energies, cannot focus. It lives in perpetual anxiety and stress if left to its ancient reptile devices. The body moves at its own slower, timeless pace. It breathes in the breath of now. The mind does not have to breathe. It flies back into the past, then leaps into the future; it moves in an instant, unstable and unpredictable, with a natural penchant for looking at life as a dangerous place full of predators. The mind wants answers, believes that if it could just get all the facts in order and the information properly computed, then everything would fit together in linear fashion. There is a part of us wanting to be assured that the correct hypothesis, the socially acceptable story, and the correct answer will provide the formula for the perfect life. It has a stressful, fast-paced, multitasking existence. To the mind, time is linear, moving in one direction—toward the future (and not necessarily a good future at that).

  The body is wiser than the restless quicksilver mind. It feels a deeper rhythm, tunes into harmonies unheard and dimensions unseen by the human mind. The body is connected to earth time, the now moment of what is. It stands deep in the muck and the mire and the mystery. The body knows the way a hunter knows when following game, the way a bee knows which flower holds the pollen. The prey is unpredictable, moving and changing, adapting to the forest as it moves through the tangled brush. The logical mind has only the eye to see, but the body feels with all its senses. The mind focuses on a target with arrow precision, but is lost when the thickets of ambiguity interfere with that clear vision. The body just puts out more feelers, testing the scent on the wind, alert for sounds and clues, moving from one vantage point to another with
its own sense of grace and balance. It feels for the next step. It taps into ancient instincts, is aware of a larger context, and surrenders itself completely to the moment. It knows God intimately as the here and now Source. All its active senses become intuitive radar to navigate the twisting and turning passages through time and space. The prey is felt before it is seen, and the hunter’s wisdom is an instinct that responds to the world in its entirety.

  Stretch Like a Cat

  Imagine a cat curled up in a ball, sleeping in the sun. Now watch that cat awaken, yawn, and stretch out with long, long legs and torso. Cats know the wisdom of stretching. Stretching is good for the human being, too. A good yawn and a big stretch offer a simple way to relax tension when you’ve been hunched over a computer or concentrating on a problem for a long time. Feel the stretch, breathe into it, release tension. Slow your breathing to calm yourself. Exhale with a sigh of relief and bliss.

  Anxiety arises in the intersection between the now of body time and the future of mental anticipation. The mind wants answers, while the body wants to listen. The mind creates stress and resistance, while the body uses its sense radar, picks up the tension, and amplifies it. The mind always feels that past or future is where the real action is. But the body knows that this moment is the only reality, the only place where choice is possible, where life is experienced. Creating the future begins in this moment. When we are feeling anxious, it is time to look at what we have been thinking and choose to release those restless thoughts, then partner with the body to ground ourselves in the goodness of this moment. The body will give the mind information that would otherwise be missed. The mind will sense this grounded wisdom and set a calmer intention, softening the focus to take full advantage of the intuitive signals the body is sending. Our body—that beautiful and strange creature—is our home and our patient, long-suffering guide as we navigate the journey of life. When we trust this physical being, we are led safely home.