by Scott, S. L.
“It could.” I can’t believe she’s about to be mine.
“Are you all right with waiting to tell your brothers? Can you keep this secret?”
“I’m sitting here in a suit I spent the afternoon shopping for to surprise you. I’ve never doubted us. I just don’t know if everyone else will support us. For me, walking down the aisle is only about us and our forever.”
She grabs me in a hug. Her head leans on my shoulder as I wrap my arms around her. “I want to spend my forever with you because I love you, Tulsa. Your love has never had conditions or punishments. You give your heart so freely, and I want to be the one to care for it, to care for you. I get irritable when our bands are pulled in different directions for an interview or photos. I want to spend my days with you, and I don’t want to sleep without you at night. You’re good for me. I’m healthier—my mind is clearer, and my body is more fit. And because it bears mentioning, I’m really sexually attracted to you.”
Stroking her hair, I whisper into it, “I planned on us having sex tonight whether you married me or not, so don’t marry me just to get into my pants. You’re already getting the pants and suit, this damn tie and shirt too.”
“If we get married, that’s the same as saying I saved myself for you until marriage, right?”
“Yes, it means we’re practically virgins again.”
Tilting her head to the side, she laughs. “In that case. You got me to the chapel. What’s your next move?” I hand her the flowers. “You got me a bouquet?”
“What’s a wedding without flowers?”
“You’ve thought of everything.”
“We still need a marriage license.” Rubbing the curve of her waist, I take a moment to appreciate how incredible this dress looks on her. “It kind of stalls the momentum, but it won’t be legal if we don’t do it.”
“Well, then, let’s get on with this rodeo.” She tugs me toward the car. “Isn’t that what they say in Texas?”
“No, not at all, but I get the drift.”
We get in the car and head for the express window of the Marriage Bureau. Slowing the night down with this errand will give her more time to think. I want her to marry me because of the love she has for me, and for the life we can create together.
Our fingers weave together, and I hold her hand on my lap. “I love your name, but how do you feel about Crow?”
“Oh, wow. I hadn’t thought about it. Well, I have for fun. I’ve also doodled a few Nikki Crow’s, but to take it legally . . . I’ll have to think about it.” Tightening her hold on my hand, she adds, “Will it bother you if I keep Faris?”
“No,” I answer honestly. “You’ll always be you even when we become an official we.”
She nods and looks out the window briefly. “Tulsa?”
“Yeah?”
Turning back, she asks, “Why do you want to get married?”
“This sounds crazy, but I started thinking about this the first night we spent together. It was different. The night. You. I didn’t want to rush through to get to the euphoric ending when it came to sex, but I wanted to rush to get to our happy ending. It’s taken me a while to pinpoint my emotions. Feelings aren’t usually something I sit around and think about.” Signaling between us, I say, “But this has felt right since that first night. You feel right, the most right I’ve ever felt.”
“You aren’t my typical type.”
I kiss her hand. “That’s why I’m here, and those other guys aren’t.”
Lifting up, she kisses my neck. “Damn right.” Finally, she just climbs onto my lap, extending her legs across the seat. “Want to know why I want to marry you?” More than anything.
“Sure do.”
The sweet smile that had lit up her face disappears, and she cups my face, tilting it up toward her. “I think I fell for you when you spoke of your mother. I’ve told you this before, but you put on an act like it’s all about the hookups, but that’s not you when you’re behind closed doors. I don’t like thinking of you with other women, but something I believe is true is when you were with them, they mattered at the moment, and you treated them with nothing but respect.” Kissing one of my dimples, she says, “So, to me, Tulsa Crow is a sensitive soul trapped in a lady-killer’s body.”
“I think the jig is up.”
“It was the moment destiny sat us next to each other at the Outlaw’s house.” She kisses me and then pauses with our lips pressed together, unmoving.
I hear her breathe in and then tilt back to look at me when she exhales. “Why are you so handsome?”
“To match my sparkling personality.”
“Very true, my guy.”
“My guy?”
“Just something I call you in my head. It feels good to say it out loud.”
Rubbing her hip, I say, “You feel good. So about not having sex before marriage . . . we could always find a room on the way.”
“We’re rebels for getting married in the first place. What if we bucked expectations and waited until after marriage to do the deed?”
“It won’t be a deed for me.” I know she can feel how hard my dick is under her ass. “I can promise you that.”
“What else are you going to promise me, Tulsa Crow?”
“My heart. My soul. My life.”
“I’ll take all three and return mine in exchange.”
I’m about to seal our deal, but the car comes to a stop. I open the back door, and we go inside the Clark County Marriage Bureau. I’m not scared. I’m not even nervous. I’ve always flown by the seat of my pants, but this doesn’t feel frivolous or like I’m acting on a whim. This feels like it’s meant to be. This feels like the right move to start my future, because she is my future.
* * *
Nikki
I’ve been good, totally solid and onboard with marriage since Tulsa asked. But something about standing beside him now, holding hands in front of a justice of the peace at the end of an aisle makes me teary. My heart is happy, but this moment is huge.
I don’t know if we’re supposed to be serious right now, but a little laugh slips out. My smile is permanently stuck on my face because he makes me happy, ridiculously happy. Who knew the most cocky, talented, and sexy man I’ve ever met would be the same man I’d agree to marry six weeks later?
I don’t know how my family will react. I’m sure shock and a stern talk will follow the news. Not surprising since this will be sprung on them out of nowhere. But I’m not nineteen. I pay my own bills now and have grown so much over the past few years. If they don’t already, they’re just going to have to learn to trust me.
Jet and Rivers want what’s best for Tulsa, and if he thinks that’s me, they will accept me. I have no doubts when it comes to the Crows. They have endless love to share, which I’ve witnessed firsthand.
Thinking of my family and his, I’m okay without an audience. Tulsa, me, the witness sitting in the back, and the JP works.
Standing here looking into his deep blue eyes, I know we are making the right decision. This feeling that it’s only about us has grown from a seed to a beautiful flower inside my heart.
We agreed we didn’t need to come up with vows; the traditional ones would do. But then I see a man made of hard muscle and steel resolve get choked up. Tulsa releases my right hand and slides his along my shoulder, resting on my neck. “The moment seems to call for more than a simple I do.” He pauses, his eyes moving over my face, my hair, my lips. “I will. I will do whatever it takes to make you happy in life, to make sure you feel loved, to give you all you deserve, which is more than the universe.”
Cupping my face, he moves closer and speaks lower, “I’ll move the clouds to let the stars shine down. I’ll move the earth to give you the moon. I’ll lasso the sun to keep you warm, and I’ll give you my heart so you’ll always feel loved. Each beat is my heart speaking to yours—it’s a language that only they understand, and we feel.”
He continues, “I never knew what love meant until I met you
. And then I discovered that it’s not a word or only a feeling. It’s peace of mind and comfort, handholding, and breath that is even in the night.”
He comes so close that for a second I think he’s going to kiss me. “You are loved, but to me, you are love, so I will, and I do, for you, darlin’. I will always honor you.”
My eyes dip closed until the JP clears his throat. “We kiss at the end of the vows,” he reminds.
I might not get to kiss him yet, but I still get Tulsa’s smile, and that smile is everything. I find myself gravitating toward him, but I restrain myself from snuggling to his chest. When he pulls me in anyway and holds me, I feel that peace he spoke about. I take a deep breath and then step back.
Our hands rejoin, and I look into the eyes of my forever, feeling pride and filled with love and hope. “I didn’t know I was drowning until you saved me. You saw through the bullshit—oops. Sorry,” I say glancing at the JP. I look down at the toes of our shoes touching and slow my racing thoughts, so I can think clearly.
“Professionally, I have everything I ever dreamed of. Personally, I had walls built from pain and past mistakes. They were so high I couldn’t see beyond them, but that didn’t stop you. You saw through those barriers and found me. And brick by brick, you patiently tore those walls down, letting me bask in your light. With you, my lungs fill with fresh air, my heart with love, and my soul is possessed by you and that huge heart of yours. So, thank you for being the man brave enough to weather my storms and to save me from the raging seas of my past. Because of you, we have blue skies and a clear passage to sail together into our destiny.”
I say, “I may never have seen you coming, but you’re the gift I won’t take for granted. So, for you, I will, and I do. Always and forever.”
We don’t have rings, but our love entangles, the vows we’ve shared wrap around our ring fingers.
The JP says, “By the power vested in me by the state of Nevada, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss your spouse.”
If we would have kissed minutes earlier, it would have been fast and passionate, so much like our relationship. But now we take our time because time is on our side. Tulsa’s foot slides between mine, and he eases against me, holding the side of my jaw in one hand, the other steady on my lower back. I slip my arms around his neck, and our lips meet in the middle.
Our tongues touch, and our kiss heats.
This time when we part, we know it’s only temporary. I whisper my decision on an earlier conversation against his chest, “I choose Crow. Like your tattoos.”
Tulsa hugs me and whispers into my hair, “I love you, Mrs. Crow. Forever.”
The name feels as good as the man does. He’s not just my guy anymore.
He’s my husband. My beloved. My best decision.
23
Nikki
Sitting in the back of the car, we have our story straight, but I’m still not happy with it. “I know I’m the one who suggested we wait to tell everyone, but I just want to spend time with you. Alone.”
Tulsa holds my hand as if I might fall if he releases me. I just married him. I’m well past falling. We’re the best kind of head-on collision. We crashed into love without a safety net, so there’s no saving me now. Though I’d never argue against a little mouth to mouth . . . or a lot. “I want to tell the whole fucking world you’re my wife.” When he calls me wife, I melt into a puddle of goo on his lap. Lying across his lap, he rubs my back, and he says, “Fuck it. Let’s go make love and consummate this marriage.”
When I sit back up, I lean my head on his shoulder. “We should stick to the story for now. We have three days off. I just want to enjoy our time. It’s our honeymoon.”
“I want you with me in Austin.”
“I’ll be with you. I’ll make up something, a reason to be there.”
“We’re married. We shouldn’t have to sneak around or be apart, but I think you’re right. We can fight the battle later. Let’s not ruin our time together or this tour.” He digs a card out of his pocket. “This is a key to my room. I don’t care what lie we have to come up with, but we’re spending tonight together.”
Tucking it into my purse, I nod. “I want nothing more.” The car turns into the roundabout of the hotel, and I start to feel sick. “I don’t want to leave you.”
He runs his hand through the hair at the back of my head. “A few hours apart. That’s all.” When his tongue tangles with mine, my body reacts, and my breathing shallows. The car comes to a stop, and Tulsa says, “But I don’t want to leave you either.”
To be wanted is great, but to know in my soul I’m wanted is the best feeling in the world.
The valet opens the door. I look at Tulsa, kiss him once more, and then step out of the car. I hear the door shut, but I don’t look back to check. I’m more sensitive than anyone realizes. I just became a master of emotional disguise years ago. It was the only way I could protect myself from my ex’s verbal warfare. If I didn’t react, he’d lay off.
The separation from Tulsa causes a hole in my chest. With every step I take, it grows. I stop reprimanding myself for looking back, but I can’t help it. I miss him already.
Tulsa opens the car door, and I watch him climb out and button his jacket. He’s so beautiful it hurts to look and not be able to touch.
Across the space dividing us, full of people and cars loading and unloading, he finds me and gives a knowing nod. I see the pain I feel inside on his face. I turn around and find the strength in our love to follow through with the plan in place. Pushing the brass and glass door, I follow the signs through the casino to the bar where Laird, Lauralee, and Shane are waiting for me.
* * *
I’ve had a glass of champagne and a shot of whiskey with them to celebrate the tour and just for being in Vegas.
Lauralee did a good job of keeping Laird preoccupied while I was gone. Maybe too good of a job. Thanks to her, he’s basically drunk.
This should be fun. Not.
Angling around on the barstool to follow Laird’s gaze, I see Tulsa, his brothers, and Dave as they walk in, owning the bar and the attention of everyone here. My heart starts racing, but I try to sound calm. “The guys are here.” I try really friggin’ hard not to smile when I see my husband.
I take Tulsa in from head to toe. He changed out of the suit and is now dressed in dark jeans, a charcoal, buttoned shirt that’s fitted to highlight his toned body, and dark shoes, looking every bit the hero of my fantasies. My smile slips out anyway. I tilt my head and make this super obvious dreamy sound that’s a cross between falling in love and a blissful sigh after sex.
“What’s wrong with you?” Laird asks.
I turn back around to find Lauralee’s eyebrow cocked up. There’s no hiding her knowing smile. If she only knew the full details.
Glaring at Laird, I reply, “Nothing’s wrong.”
Shane returns with a waitress carrying a round of shots. “Are we ready to really start partying? Looks like the guys are finally here.”
“I am.” I raise my hand.
Tulsa presses against my back, and says, “I am too.”
When I sneak a peek up at him, he smiles down at me. “How are you, Nikki?”
“Better than ever. You?”
I want to hump that smirk on his face. Who am I kidding? I want to hump everything on him. I want to hump him. Covertly, I reach behind me and rub against him to get him as worked up as I am. That’s only fair.
“I’m ready to go.” Laird looks at Lauralee.
Lauralee says, “I’m tired, too.”
“What?” I ask, surprised. “I thought we were going to party? We’re in Vegas. We only have one night.”
“I’m sorry. I’m so tired, though. It’s been a long week.”
My gaze volleys back and forth between them. “Okay, if you’re sure.” She fake yawns. What the heck? Is she looking for an out to go back with my brother? Eew. “Wait, are you—”
Tulsa says, “I’m exhausted too. I t
hink I’ll turn in early.”
I don’t know what’s going on between them, but Tulsa’s hint to let them be is more obvious. So, I have to decide—break this up immediately or let it slide? They’re adults, but ew, it’s my brother. I know the right thing to do, though. Twisting my lips to the side, I ask my friend quietly. “This is happening? For real?”
“Will you hate me?”
“No, but I’ll hate him,” I reply, laughing. She knows I’m kidding, but the humor is lost under guilt. “Hey. Don’t stress.” Making sure no one else can hear, I move closer. “Please don’t tell him about Tulsa and me, and definitely don’t bring him back to our room.”
“No worries. Look, I know this is weird, but nothing may happen.”
“Unlike you, I don’t need the details.” I smile, and this time, she laughs.
“Yeah, that might be too much for me too.” We hug before she turns to leave. “Night.”
The other guys head to the bar for more drinks while I watch as Laird and Lauralee walk away. I can tell they’re flirting by their body language, and they’re laughing about something said between them. Tulsa touches my shoulder and says, “There are worse things that could happen.”
“Like secretly getting married and having to hide your happiness from the world?”
“Something like that.” When I turn around, he says, “Not for long.”
“Just for now.” Leaning against him, I feel the weight of his hand on my hip. I’m tempted to kiss him right here in public—in front of our families, friends, and a bar full of strangers. “I get you for three days, just the two of us, so the tradeoff for no PDA is worth it.”
I take a step back, despite wanting to be close. His smile dims, and he releases me. “Let’s sneak out because I find you incredibly hard to resist, Mrs. Crow.”
“I know the feeling.” I pluck the front of his shirt as I walk past. “Come on. I’m ready to start my honeymoon.”