Sandor (Royal Protectors Book 1)

by Kat Mizera

  “Can we just go to bed and forget all about yesterday for a few hours?” she asked softly, moving closer to me.

  Dammit. I couldn’t do this. One touch and I’d be lost all over again.

  “Listen, we need to talk.”

  She froze, furrowing her brow slightly as she looked up at me. “About?”

  “Us. This. Everything.”

  “Okay.” She didn’t move, waiting for me to say what I needed to say.

  “I don’t think…” The words caught in my throat and I straightened a little, strengthening my resolve. It was better this way and the sooner I did it, the better off everyone would be.

  “You don’t think…” she prompted.

  “I can’t be with you and do this job the way I need to do it,” I said finally. “You distract me, shift my focus, and I can’t live like this. I need to help Erik get this country running and that means making sure his family is safe. Twenty-four seven. Knowing you’re waiting in bed for me, that you’re waiting for me period, makes me want to finish work early, get back to you. Which isn’t safe for any of us.”

  “So it’s my fault the kids snuck out?” She took a step back, her eyes flashing.

  “No, of course not. It’s mine. That’s the whole point. If I hadn’t been so focused on you, I would’ve noticed that Luke was getting antsy, would’ve probably noticed him trying to gather the kids and get into mischief.”

  “You mean, you might have noticed them sneaking out if you weren’t spending the morning in bed with me.” Her eyes blazed with fire and though I wanted to back off, I couldn’t. It would be better to end it now than drag it out.

  “Precisely.” I didn’t flinch, even as she set her jaw and glared at me.

  “You’re full of shit, Sandor. This isn’t about me—this is about you. You can’t stand the idea of letting go of your control, the power you have as Erik’s right-hand man. He’s been giving you the freedom to be with me and you’re afraid he’s not going to need you anymore so you’re dumping me.”

  “Maybe.” I shrugged. “But whatever it is, I can’t be the man you want me to be.”

  “I don’t want you to be anything but what you are,” she said quietly. “I’ve never complained about the fact that we only spend an hour a day together outside of sex. I never asked for trips to New York or dinner dates or anything else. That was all you.”

  “I know, and now I see it was a mistake.”

  “So what we have has been a mistake?” She wrinkled her nose slightly. “Everything we’ve shared has been a fucking mistake?” Her voice rose an octave.

  “It’s not that it wasn’t good,” I continued, trying to think of how to say what I wanted to say without being mean. “It just isn’t for me. This is why I don’t do relationships. I’m sorry if I’ve led you on. I never meant to.”

  “You told me you loved me.”

  “I told you I thought I loved you. I guess I was wrong.” I couldn’t focus on that one intimate moment just before hell broke loose.

  She opened her mouth but nothing came out. She just stared at me with an icy-hot glare. If I lit a match, the anger seeping out of her probably would have caught fire. It was plain as day she wanted to hit me and I wanted to let her, but that wouldn’t accomplish anything.

  “I’ll sleep in one of the guard barracks,” I said finally. “You can take the bed until the guests are gone and then we’ll get your suite ready. It’ll be easier if we’re not tempted by sharing a room.”

  “You think I’ll be tempted to have sex with a man who just spewed the biggest bunch of bullshit I’ve ever heard? Think again, buddy. I’m not one of those women. If we’re done, we’re fucking done. And yeah, go sleep in the fucking barracks. I’ll be out of your hair in the morning.”

  I hesitated, unsure if it was better to leave her now, while she was furious, or to try and soothe her a little. We still had to work together, after all. Unless she left.

  Jesus.

  I didn’t want her to leave. I just needed to not be in love with her anymore.

  I didn’t know if that was possible, but I had to try. There was too much at stake and that man trying to grab Luke had scared me like nothing else ever had. How could I just go back to making love to the woman in my life as if nothing had happened, when she was the reason I’d lost my focus on Luke in the first place?

  “I thought you were leaving?” She spoke coldly, her eyes lethal slits as she stared at me.

  “I am. Just getting my things.” I grabbed clean clothes and an extra blanket from the closet and then quietly slipped from the room. I paused outside the door, listening, though I wasn’t sure for what. Would she cry? Throw things? Break something?

  I waited for a few minutes, but there was nothing but eerie silence.

  40

  Lennox

  I knocked lightly on the door to Erik’s office and peeked my head in. “Your Majesty, do you have a minute?”

  He frowned at me. “Your Majesty? Did we have a falling out or something?”

  I managed a smile, but shook my head. “Sandor said we have to be more formal from now on. No more first names.”

  Erik raised his eyebrows. “He does realize I’m the king, not him, doesn’t he?”

  I shrugged. “No idea, sir.”

  “Okay, what did he do?”

  “Sir?”

  “If you call me sir or Your Majesty one more time in private, I’m going to make you change Levi’s diapers.”

  I smiled. “Well, even though you’re Sandor’s boss, he’s mine, and he told us no more first names.”

  “Sandor and I are going to have a talk,” he said. “But anyway, come on in and sit down. And shut the door. My office, my rules. It’s Erik.”

  I shut the door and sat down. “Well, Erik, I need a favor.”

  “Anything.”

  “I’d like a few days off so I can spend Christmas with my mother in Florida, but there are no flights. Is there any way you can fly me there on the jet?”

  “I can’t do it personally, but of course, just tell me when. I’ll have the pilot take you and bring you back.”

  “Thank you. That’s very generous.” I took a breath. “But there’s one more thing.”

  “Short of selling my children into slavery, anything I can do for you, I’m in your debt. Always.”

  “I’d like to switch places with Logan and take over security duties for the kids in Monte Carlo.”

  His eyes narrowed and then he shook his head. “Jesus fucking Christ. What did he do? And don’t say nothing.”

  I sighed. “It’s no big deal, really. I just think this will be easier going forward. Less distracting for both of us.”

  “But you can’t be together if you live in another country full-time.”

  “No. We can’t.” I’d hoped I wouldn’t have to spell this out for him.

  “Just tell me what happened. I understand it’s probably none of my business, but if you’re asking to leave your post here, it impacts my family and Casey isn’t going to be happy.”

  “He said it wasn’t working out. That’s all. And short-term, it would be easier on me if I’m not around him every day. I’ll be fine by the time summer comes, but if the twins decide to stay in Monte Carlo, I can stay or come back. Whatever you need. I need a little distance for a few months. That’s all.”

  He met my eyes. “I’m going to kick his ass.”

  “Oh, no, please, don’t get involved. You can’t force someone to love you, you know? And it’s obvious he doesn’t. Not really. I’ll be fine. I’m not one of those women who falls apart when a guy breaks up with her. I’ve been through a lot worse. It’s the initial awkwardness I’d like to avoid. But this is between me and him, so please don’t say anything.”

  “Oh, I’ve got a lot to say and it’s not just between you and him. We had a conversation about his intentions when you first got together because I knew if he screwed up it would impact my family—and now it has.”

  “I can stay
,” I said quickly. “Really. Forget I said anything. I can—”

  “Lennox, stop.” He held up a hand. “You’re part of our family now. Yes, Sandor is my closest friend as well as my cousin, but that doesn’t negate the importance of my other relationships. One of those is with you. Casey is going to be upset and, frankly, so am I. But making you suffer through the early stages of a breakup would be selfish. So. Tell me your travel dates for Florida, as well as which airport, so my pilot can file the flight plan. Just take what you need for the trip and I’ll have someone pack up your things and have them ready to move to Monte Carlo by the time you get back.

  “In the meantime, is there anything I can do?”

  “The trip to Florida is plenty. Thank you.” I got to my feet. “I’ll talk to Casey myself and make sure she understands why I’m leaving.”

  “She’s going to kick his ass too,” he called after me.

  I smiled as I closed the door behind me.

  One problem solved. At least a dozen more to go, but it was a start. As long as I kept moving, I’d be okay.

  The flight to Fort Lauderdale was long but I’d brought my laptop and that stack of mail I had yet to go through. I’d rummaged through it before I left, tossing out the junk mail, so all I had now were things I needed to take care of. Somehow, I had a fifty-two cent balance at Macy’s, so I’d pay that, along with the thirty-dollar late fee, and then close the account. I took care of a few things and then opened something from my gynecologist’s office. I scanned the letter and then froze.

  Oh fuck no.

  Dear Lennox:

  Our records indicate that you missed your appointment to replace your birth control implant. Please note, less than one woman in one hundred gets pregnant during the three-year suggested period. However, you are now beyond three years, so be warned that your chances of becoming pregnant will increase the longer you go without a replacement.

  If you’d like to schedule your appointment…

  I closed the letter and took a deep breath. How the fuck had I forgotten about this? I hadn’t given my yearly gynecological appointment a second thought when I’d moved to Limaj. I opened my calendar and scanned back. It was supposed to be in September. And I’d passed the three-year point for the implant back in November. It was now December and I’d been having sex almost daily with a virile man without any protection for over a month now. A sexy, virile man who’d just dumped me.

  Holy fucking shit. What had I done?

  Fort Lauderdale was hot even in December and I rented a convertible. I could afford it and I needed a little luxury right now because my heart was in a bad place. I’d be okay, because I was tougher than that, but what Sandor had done, the way he’d treated me, still hurt like hell. The idea of possibly telling him I was pregnant made me a little nauseated, so I tried not to think about it. I’d deal with all of that when I got to Monte Carlo. For now, I had more than enough to deal with in my mother. I hadn’t told her I was coming, so it was a crapshoot as to the kind of reception I would get.

  Since we weren’t close, I don’t know what had driven me to want to see her, but where else could I go? I no longer had an apartment in Las Vegas and couldn’t fathom staying in Limaj through the holidays after what had happened with Sandor. So here I was.

  I pulled up to the building she lived in and looked around to make sure I had it right. I hadn’t been to this place and it was pretty swanky, right off Las Olas Boulevard and close to the intracoastal waterway. These were million-dollar homes and while my mom had done well with each divorce, I didn’t think she’d done that well. Or maybe she had. What the hell did I know?

  I left my suitcase in the car, just in case I didn’t get much of a reception, put money in the meter for my parking spot, and went to the front of the building. The address I had for her said it was apartment 407, but her name wasn’t on the directory. Impulsively, I pushed the button anyway. Only one way to find out if I’d wasted both my time and Erik’s money since he’d flown me here.

  “Yes, hello?” Well, that was my mom’s voice.

  “Mom, it’s Lennox.”

  There was silence and then the buzzer sounded, indicating she was letting me in. I walked inside a fancy lobby and went to the elevator. When I got off on the fourth floor she was right there waiting, a weird look on her face.

  “Hi, honey.” She reached for me, hugging me awkwardly.

  “Hey, Mom. Surprise.” I cocked my head. “What’s going on? Why do you look like you’ve seen a ghost?”

  “Don’t be silly. I just… I wasn’t expecting you.”

  “I wanted to surprise you, but if it’s inconvenient…” I let my voice trail off because I wasn’t in any mood to be an inconvenience to anyone ever again. Especially not my mother. This had probably been a bad idea, but—

  “Come on in. There’s someone I want you to meet.” She tugged me by the hand and we went into a beautifully furnished condo. It was decorated for the holidays and there were people inside, talking and laughing. Everyone turned as we entered and a tall, older man of about sixty turned with a curious smile.

  “Who’s this, Michelle?” he asked, holding out his hand.

  “This is my oldest daughter, Lennox. Honey, this is Brad…my fiancé.”

  “I…” I didn’t want to embarrass either of them since they had company, so I just smiled and shook his hand. “Nice to meet you.”

  “I’ve heard so much about you,” he said warmly, his blue eyes twinkling. “Welcome to our home.”

  “Thank you. I apologize for barging in, but I didn’t know Mom was…involved with anyone.”

  He chuckled. “We’ve kept things kind of private, but no worries. Come, meet our friends.”

  There were half a dozen people in the room, and a few more arrived within the hour, so I didn’t have time to talk to my mother until much later. I also had no idea if I was staying here, and my mom hadn’t said anything, so I got on my phone and started looking for a hotel. It was Christmas Eve, so choices might be limited, but I was hoping to find something on the beach. This might be my last vacation in a long time. Being a single mom probably wouldn’t be that much fun. Christ, I needed to not think about those kinds of possibilities.

  “You’re more than welcome to stay here,” Brad said, peering over my shoulder.

  I turned and met his gaze. “Are you sure? Mom didn’t even tell me she had a boyfriend, much less a fiancé, so I don’t want to put you guys out. I thought it would be her and my sisters.”

  “I’m sorry, Lennox.” Mom looked contrite, something I didn’t see from her very often. “You moved halfway across the world so it’s hard to talk, and I know how you get whenever I’m dating someone new. I figured I’d break it to you slowly.”

  “Mom, you’re a grown woman. You don’t owe me any explanations.”

  “Well, maybe I do.” Mom sat on the couch and patted the spot beside her.

  “I’ll just be in the kitchen,” Brad said, moving away.

  “It’s okay, Mom. I’m sorry you thought you couldn’t talk to me.”

  “I know I usually have terrible taste in men, but Brad is wonderful. Handsome and rich and so great to me. Really. He’s gotten Vivian back on the right path and—”

  “Wait, what?”

  “We haven’t talked in a while,” Mom said softly. “And that’s my fault. I know it is. I should have worked harder but I didn’t know how to handle a strong, independent woman like you. You’re everything I could never be, Lennox, and I’m so very proud of you. I don’t understand it, being in the military and special ops and all that stuff you did, but no one has ever been prouder than me.”

  “It’s true.” Brad came back in, wiping his hands on a dish towel. “She talks about her daughter with the Bronze Star all the time.”

  I grimaced. “Geez, Mom, why would you tell people about that? What I did to get it was horrible and…”

  “I’m retired Army,” Brad said quietly. “I found the medal when she moved in. I wa
s helping her unpack…”

  “I know how much you hate all that,” Mom said quickly. “But he asked and, well, I’m proud of you, dammit.”

  “It’s okay.” What else could I say? No one but my mother and my dead commanding officer knew about my Bronze Star.

  “And now you’re working for some royal family I never heard of before… I just never know what to say or what not to say.” Mom gave me a little shrug. “I was planning to call tomorrow, on Christmas, to see how you’re doing, see if maybe I could come to visit. I miss you and I wanted to tell you about Brad in person.”

  “I’m moving to Monte Carlo,” I said abruptly. “Going to guard the three daughters until summer. And then I don’t know where I’m going or if I’ll even be working for them anymore. It’s kind of a long story.”

  “Does it have to do with a handsome prince and a trip to New York?”

  I met her eyes sadly and let out a sigh. I didn’t want to talk about the military, but I really didn’t want to talk about Sandor. I just wanted to sleep. It had been a long day for me even though I’d dozed on the flight. And I was so damn sad right now.

  “You look tired,” she said, obviously reading the look on my face. “We can talk about all that tomorrow.”

  “Why don’t you go get your things?” Brad suggested, getting to his feet. “And move your rental car into the garage. I’ll give you the key fob. There are visitor spots…” He gave me instructions and I operated on autopilot. I moved the car, got my bag, settled into their guest room and then my body took over and I was asleep.