What the Hell

by Hunter Blain

  Oh, Lilith, it was delicious. I could feel the power slowly flowing from the cells within the blood, becoming one with my being.

  As an arm began sprouting from my torso, virgin flesh pushed across the cool surface of the hardwood-like floor. I could also feel the flesh at my hips beginning to grow, forming new legs as I inhaled bag after bag. My heels dragged across the floor as my limbs extended.

  Lilith, I was really close to death, I thought to myself.

  He knew what he was doing, Baleius responded, making me jump inside my own mind.

  Shut the hell up. I’ll deal with you later, Baleius, I barked out his name as if it were fire inside my mouth.

  Bag after bag was consumed until my body was whole again, though my heart and soul were shattered.

  Warden Broadway just stood, watching me in grotesque fascination. She, at some point, had stepped over me and shut the front door.

  “What’s going on in here?” I heard Locke call out. I looked past Hayley and saw the man still wrapped in a wool blanket, rubbing his eyes. The color and fullness had returned to his skin, though he still had black bags under both eyes. Regardless, he probably looked better than I did.

  After finishing the entire mini fridge of enchanted blood, I demanded, “More,” while letting my cheek rest on the cool laminate floor. From this angle, I was impressed at how much like hardwood the stuff actually looked. Like, there were ridges and stuff! Panels slightly varied as they went, like real wood from a tree.

  Empty bags dripped a few remaining droplets of crimson life onto the ground. I debated licking them off the floor, damn my pride.

  “Jesus Christ,” Locke gasped, staring down at my naked body that had just consumed what should have been several months’ worth of blood. “Depweg!” he yelled over his shoulder, concern giving strength to his words.

  I just lay on the kitchen floor, trembling.

  “John!” Depweg exclaimed as he rushed over to scoop me up in his powerful arms. As if I weighed no more than a (five-year-old girl) bag of trash, he set me in my chair. I was a bag of trash.

  Without any hesitation, Locke removed his wool blanket and covered me up to my neck. He even tucked in the fabric around my legs. It was still warm from his body heat.

  “John,” Depweg started with openmouthed surprise, “what the hell happened?”

  “U-U-U . . . Ul . . .” I tried to speak, but my body was violently shaking.

  “Ulric?” Depweg asked.

  I slowly nodded my head while staring off with unfocused eyes.

  “H-h-he ma-made me . . .” I tried to explain, but was choked by sobs that wracked my body as if I were being electrocuted.

  “It’s okay, man. Take your time,” Depweg said while sitting on the armrest of my chair and placing a steadying hand on top of my head. At his touch, I found renewed strength, as if he had transferred some of his own into me.

  “That bastard made me kill a child,” I spit out, my unfocused eyes blazing as I stared at nothing. I couldn’t look anyone in the eyes at that moment.

  The room was silent as their ears processed what I had said and their minds filed the information.

  Joey walked into the room with Tiny Tim leading the way, as did Ludvig and Magni, who were coming to investigate the ruckus in the living room.

  I regarded Magni for a moment, feeling a surge of emotion, before forcing my gaze onto anyone else.

  My eyes locked onto Joey, and an atomic bomb of hatred exploded in my core.

  “DID YOU TELL HIM WHERE I WAS, JOEY? HUH? YOU FUCKING PATHETIC SACK OF SHIT! How dare you show your face in here after what you did,” I bellowed, watching my pride run from me while I stared at the leash, uncaring enough to grab the chain and stop the onslaught.

  Tiny Tim stopped running over to me and instead tucked his tail between his legs and hobbled back behind Joey, further fueling my rage.

  “What did he do?” Ludvig asked, his gaze shifting uncomfortably between Joey and myself. He had also taken a step closer to Magni in an unconscious effort to protect his apprentice. My pride shifted focus and lunged.

  “And where the fuck were you, ‘Hunter,’” I said with air quotes through the blanket as I mocked his stupid name. “Why didn’t you know where he was?!”

  “W-who?” Ludvig asked, shifting on his feet as he glanced at Depweg.

  Depweg shot to his feet and yelled, “ENOUGH! I will not tolerate you attacking those who stand by your side! Now calm the fuck down and explain what happened.”

  I stared at him with a hurt fury in my eyes. My gaze bounced off the impenetrable armor that was Depweg’s will. Seeing that I wasn’t going to win, I grabbed the chain that was attached to my pride, and yanked it back under control. It thrashed and fought but ultimately subsided, delighted at the damage it had caused in its brief moments of freedom.

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered as my chin hit my chest and I shut my eyes, rubbing at them through the blanket with the index finger and thumb of one hand. I stayed that way for several moments, witnessing the private light show from where I pressed. I pulled my digits back and saw the wool was soaked.

  “You’re right,” I admitted to the room with a little more force behind my words so everyone could hear. “It-it’s no one’s fault but my own.” I looked up and saw the incredibly hurt Joey. “I’m sorry, man. You didn’t deserve that.”

  He looked around, shifted on his feet, and placed unsteady hands on his hips as he nodded at my apology. Though he accepted my words, I think he felt there was a truth to them. He had betrayed us to Ulric, but to save his brother’s soul. I looked at Depweg and realized that I couldn’t say if I wouldn’t have done the exact same thing in his shoes.

  “What happened?” Depweg repeated softly.

  Closing my eyes, I told them about Ulric catching me in the street and almost begging me to side with Satan, which we all agreed was uncharacteristic of my maker. I continued with the battle in the street and how I had taken the staff away from him for a moment before he caught me with my pants down with the giant sphere.

  I left out the part about almost burning him alive, already cognizant enough that what I had done had been incredibly stupid.

  I finished by detailing how I had woken up in the cell, drained of all my precious energy, and had been shoved to the brink of death by being dismembered.

  “Oh, and get this shit. Baleius is back,” I said almost casually, prompting a large hand to land on my shoulder. I looked and followed the arm up to see the concerned face on my were friend.

  “Are you in control?”

  “Yes. Baleius and I . . . have come to an understanding. He will work for us and, in return, I won’t banish him into absolute darkness.”

  “I don’t think I like that arrangement,” Depweg added. Joey nodded his head in agreement, and I had to double my grip on the leash that held my pride in check. It barked and yanked at the chain, begging to be set free once more.

  What am I so mad at him for? I asked myself.

  It’s projection, John. You are aiming your anger at him because you are forced to carry a lie that would destroy his world and probably make both of your friends go feral.

  Inside my mind, I slowly looked at Baleius and let his words sink into my brain.

  Should . . . should I tell him?

  What good would it do? No, John, I fear this is a case where more harm than good could arise from the truth.

  I nodded once and returned to my body. I noticed the room was staring at me uncomfortably, waiting for me to finish the story.

  “Ulric did just as he said he would. He brought me to the point of no return and put a five-year-old girl in a cell with me. The sonofabitch tried to make me eat a baby next, while the parents of the children watched, but the asshole also liked to bask in his own hubris.”

  “How did you escape? I didn’t think,” Depweg began, choosing his words carefully, “something that small could heal you.”

  “He only had one hand and no legs when he bur
st through the door,” Hayley informed the room.

  “The stupid bastard forgot about my magic hammer, and I escaped with the baby he tried to make me eat next. Oh, Locke, can you make sure the boy I saved has a good life?”

  “You mean like Da did for Magni here?” Locke asked. I wanted to get mad at him, but I felt he was asking for genuine clarification.

  “Yes, please,” I answered before telling him the name of the fire department that was on a plaque near the door. Our relationship increased at that point with his acceptance of the important task, which mirrored exactly what Da had done for me some thirteen years prior. We both felt it with a slight nod to one another.

  From the corner of my eye, I saw Magni move to sit on the couch while Joey just continued to take in the story. Ludvig had crossed his thick arms over his chest and stood as still as a statue. Hayley shook her head and looked down at the ground, while Depweg nodded in understanding.

  “Hey, why didn’t Ulric wear the armor?” Depweg asked as he glanced up at Joey, who was picking Tiny Tim up off the ground to cradle in his arms.

  “Yeah. I was wondering about that, actually,” I added, sitting up a little bit more in my chair. I let the blanket fall from my neck and rest in my lap.

  Joey smiled mischievously before stepping into his room. A drawer could be heard opening before he returned, walking to where Depweg, Hayley, and I were.

  “Probably because he didn’t have this,” Joey said, holding a bag and removing an ivory belt lined in gold in his free hand. “I remembered Oberon wanting the gauntlet and not having full power until the set was complete.”

  “You sneaky bastard!” I cried out joyously, the despair I had been wallowing in receding like the tide. There was still a chance.

  “I didn’t think Ulric would notice in time to do anything to Dawson before you saved him,” Joey said to me with warm, trusting eyes.

  My heart sank down to my colon, and the two organs introduced themselves with a nod. I did my best to keep my smile on.

  “Good job, man,” I sincerely congratulated while grabbing the belt and looking it over. It kind of looked like Christian Bale’s belt in Batman Begins, but made of ivory and gold. Then again, everything could be compared to some sort of movie reference with me, especially Batman.

  “So, what now?” Hayley asked. From the corner of my vision, I could see Ludvig was still standing perfectly still with his arms crossed.

  Turning my full attention to him, I asked, “Everything okay there, big guy?”

  While barely moving his mouth, he coldly answered, “Fine.”

  Sensing something was off, Hayley walked over to where he stood, placed a hand gingerly on the skin of his forearm, and whispered, “Everything okay?”

  At her touch, Ludvig seemed to melt, letting his arms drop to his sides.

  “Alrighty then,” I exhaled while turning to Locke.

  “Can you get me some more blood? And holy shit! Locke! You’re better!” My sadness melted like an ice cube placed on the sidewalk in the middle of a Texas summer.

  “Thanks. Hecate came through again.”

  Hayley coughed aggressively while moving her head side to side in snarky agitation.

  “And Warden Broadway, of course.”

  “Damn right,” she said. It was her turn to cross her arms over her chest. I noticed for the first time that she didn’t have her cloak on and had long, lean arms and a flat chest. I mean, there were breasts, but I doubt she owned a bra that wasn’t from Nike or Under Armour.

  My gaze shot up to her angry eyes, and I quickly found something else to look at. “Oh, look at you . . . um, ground,” I said while making a show of examining the floor and nodding in appreciation. It really did look like hardwood.

  “I’m a leg and butt guy,” Ludvig whispered while placing a hand over Hayley’s shoulder. She leaned into him, blushing slightly as she did.

  Thank Lilith for Ludvig.

  I processed what he had said and carefully looked up from the floor to see muscular legs wrapped in yoga pants.

  “Holy shit!” I shouted.

  “What?” Hayley asked aggressively.

  “You, um, you look like you could, ah, kick down a freaking bank vault!”

  “Oh, thanks,” Hayley said with sincerity. She liked being seen as strong. Good to know.

  “If it’s alright with you guys, do you think we could focus on the events of the evening and how best to proceed?” Locke changed the subject while making a point to glance at the belt as I hung it around my neck.

  “Right. First,” I began, looking at Joey, “how the hell did you even steal the armor from Val?”

  Joey’s face flushed bright red, and he shifted on his feet while crossing his arms and looking down in shame. “I asked Val if I could have it.”

  “And he freaking just gave it to you?” I asked incredulously.

  “I told him you needed it.”

  “Oh, Val,” I said, covering my eyes with a hand and shaking my head. “Damn you for being so caring.”

  “I’m sorry,” Joey said. “I-I just hope you guys can forgive me.”

  The scene of Dawson’s soul dying in my arms came to mind.

  Looking up at Joey, I said with a steady, soft tone, “Joey, Dawson said you needed to forgive yourself for what happened to your parents and all those people at the hotel.”

  The tension in the room shifted and all eyes locked on Joey; all except Depweg’s, who stared at the ground, nodding slowly.

  “Wha-what?” Joey asked with tearful eyes.

  “He told me to tell you that you needed to forgive yourself so you don’t end up in Hell. You’ve both done such good with Depweg and Father Thomes, and the only thing that was holding him down was his own desire to be punished. I helped him to forgive himself. Joey,” I said just above a whisper, drawing his attention, “Dawson said he saw your mom and dad, and that they forgave you. Both of you.”

  At that, the dam broke and a flood of tears streamed down Joey’s reddening cheeks as he began taking shuddering breaths. A hand covered his mouth as sorrow-filled eyes peered over his fingers. He had held onto this pain for over forty years, always feeling the guilt of that night weighing on his heart.

  I could feel the anchor attached to his immortal soul break free before latching onto my own, secured with my willingness to lie. I was afraid to look at my own soul now, knowing that it would be dripping with viscous tar like never before.

  Joey dropped his hand, took in a wavering breath, and locked eyes with me, nodding feverishly in wordless thanks and acceptance.

  “Yo-yo-you promise?” he managed between breaths. “He said he saw them?”

  “I promise.”

  He barked out another sob before placing his hands on his thighs and bending over, tears dripping to the ground. He heaved in his surging emotion before catching himself.

  Depweg removed his hand from my shoulder and walked over to place it on Joey’s back. There was a symbolism there that I was vaguely aware of, and accepted. I had removed a massive chip off Joey’s shoulder and tossed it several hundred feet into the air to land on the enormous boulder I carried like Atlas. What was one more stone amongst the tonnage of my life’s choices and the burdens I already carried?

  A pained smile lifted the corners of my lips but couldn’t quite reach my eyes. From my peripheral vision, I noticed Locke staring at me, and my gaze met his. He wore a look of dubious trepidation as he regarded me. I shut my eyes and lifted my eyebrows as I shrugged once.

  Opening my eyes again, I could still see Locke staring at me, but it was clear he’d decided to let the matter go.

  We all looked as Joey stood straight up before turning to embrace the closest thing he had to a father. Depweg held him tight, patting his back, while looking at me and nodding his thanks.

  Now that I had been to Hell, I guess it wasn’t so bad a place. It was the fear of the unknown that was truly terrifying, and I knew exactly what to expect once I went below.

>   Looking up at the ceiling, I mentally projected to Heaven, “Mom, Dad, forgive me. I guess I won’t be making it up there after all.”

  Chapter 12

  Locke lowered his phone and said without looking at me, “More blood is on its way. Hayley will have to help me enchant it.”

  “Oh! Sounds fun!” Hayley said as she clapped her hands together. “Locke’s first lesson.”

  “Actually,” Locke began slowly, finding a way to break the news, “Hecate and I spent years together in the stone. She showed me a lot of what I needed to learn. Now that my mind knows the processes, my body will have to grow strong and adjust.”

  “Oh,” Hayley said, defeated. Her body physically seemed to deflate.

  Locke looked at me and I lifted my eyebrows while subtly nodding my forehead in her direction.

  “Oh! But, it’s only because of you that I-I-I’m even alive!” Locke said through an awkward chuckle. He was so cute when he tried to be a good guy.

  Hayley responded by letting a smile quickly dance across her face before returning to normal.

  “So, Locke,” I began, changing the subject, “how’s the mansion coming along?”

  “Mansion?” Magni perked up from the food Ludvig was making him eat. I swear, Ludvig ate as much protein as the wolves.

  “Yeah, buddy. Locke is gonna help design a mansion, since, you know, I’m a gazillionaire.”

  “What kind of defenses are we considering?” Depweg asked as he moved to sit on the couch next to Locke.

  The newly anointed wizard was creating an L with his thumb and forefinger to bring up his phone’s screen. Then he did something pretty freaking cool by taking his other hand and pulling on the edge of the hologram, making the visible area the size of a tablet.

  “Waah?! That’s so cool! I want one!”

  “You have one, John,” Locke informed me without looking up from the screen he and Depweg were engrossed in. Apparently, they were inspecting blueprints on some app that let you build whatever you wanted.