Under a Different Sky

by Iler, Lindsey

  “Mmmhmm.” He clicks his tongue, shaming me with little to no words.

  “I’ll be right back.” Nicole answers a call and scoots out of the booth.

  Once she’s gone, Frank slips into her spot. He takes a drink from my straw, and I snatch the cup off the table. “No, I’m not sharing this with you. You don’t get to do that after the stunt you just pulled.”

  “My love life is non-existent, Han. Take pity on me. Let me live vicariously through you.” He bats his eyelashes like a child, endearing him more to me.

  “The only action I’ve gotten lately is with Beckett, and a few kisses hardly counts as action.” But damn, they were good kisses. I touch my lips, remembering the way his felt against mine. Warm and sweet.

  “Beckett is a child,” Frank says sternly.

  “He’s only a year younger than us. Hardly a child. And trust me, I’ve gotten a good look at the goods. He has something that will do just fine.”

  “Because that’s what we’re looking for in some dick. Just fine.”

  I want to smack his air quotes off his body. Instead, I can’t control my laughter.

  “Will you stop it?” I whack at him. “And don’t you have tables to wait on?” I look around the restaurant and realize it’s nearly empty.

  “See, I have plenty of time to talk about a certain dick who shall not be named, because you won’t admit you find him sexy as hell, but we all know he is.” He leans forward on his forearms, gazing over at me, and fans his face. “God damn, he’s sexy, Hannah.”

  I will not admit or deny what he’s saying. “What’s your point, Frank?”

  “My point is boys don’t tend to hang around after a girl’s shift just to talk. Boys also don’t invite girls into their beds just to cuddle.” He shrugs, wagging his perfect eyebrows at me.

  “Everything between me and him is innocent. He’s going through some stuff.”

  “Because his girlfriend died, and now, he’s cuddling up to her best friend.” He taps his fingertips together like he’s pleased with himself. “How salacious.”

  I lightly smack him across the head. “Leave this table and never mention it again.”

  “Fine.” He slides out, holding his hands up in surrender. “Your food’s ready anyway.”

  Nicole steps back inside just as he’s rounding into the kitchen. There’s a big smile on her face, and a surprising sparkle in her eyes. She sits across from me, cradling her phone in her hand.

  “By the look on your face, I’d say the phone call was something good.” I take the plates Frank offers and shoo him away.

  There’s no way I’m going to let him stick around for too long. He’ll say something that will most definitely be a lie. He’s completely misguided on everything he’s said.

  “It was Kellan.” Her smile grows wider. “He snuck his phone during practice because he knew I was freaked out. He just wanted to make sure I was okay after I ran off.”

  “See!” I grab a pretzel bite and dip it in the cheese, popping it into my mouth and pausing to chew. “You have nothing to worry about. Let it all just be.”

  “That’s what he said.” She twirls a mozzarella stick in the marinara sauce. “It’s hard for me to get outside of my own head. I don’t live like you guys. My normal is the farthest away from yours.”

  “Remember what you said at Mia’s funeral?” I nod, recalling what she’d said. “She told you to never be ashamed of who you are. Who cares if you and Kellan come from polar opposite lives? He loves you, Nicole, like really loves you. Don’t let yourself get in the way of that kind of thing.”

  “You’re right.” She drops the food. “I love him.” Her eyes start to water, and my heart kind of breaks for her.

  She’s so afraid of what could be, that it scares her enough to bring tears to her eyes. I wonder if I’ll ever feel that way for someone, this fearful desperation that tugs at your heart so hard you don’t know which way to go.

  “Of course, you love him, Nicole.”

  Kellan is easy to love. He’s thoughtful and fierce to those he has on his side. There isn’t a world where someone like Kellan wouldn’t fall in love with Nicole. I wasn’t surprised when I’d heard about them being together.

  “Let’s eat and get out of here.” She starts to shovel food into her mouth.

  “Someone’s in a hurry,” I scoff.

  “Do you ever feel pulled to someone, like if you don’t see them, your entire day feels completely fucked?” Luckily, she doesn’t wait for my answer. Instead, she stands to grab a to-go box for the rest of the food.

  After paying, she drives us back to the school. I’m riding home with my dad, and practice is almost over, so he won’t be long.

  “I’m going to wait out here,” Nicole announces when I open the door.

  “I love you. Now, stop being such a chicken shit.” I hug her.

  She squeezes me tight. “Thank you.”

  “That’s what I’m here for.” Sliding from the car, I walk across the parking lot and run into Kellan.

  His hair is wet. His hockey bag hangs over his shoulder, and his eyes are sunken in, like he’s been stressed out all day. Nicole has never claimed to not be a handful.

  “Treat her good, Kellan, or I’ll kill you.” I pat him on the shoulder as I pass.

  “What if she’s the one who breaks my heart, Han?” he says.

  “I’ll kill her, too.” I smirk. “It looks like you two better love each other good then.” I wave and head into the school.

  There’s no need to stick around. I envision her running into his arms and whispering the words he has hoped she’d say earlier today. Those two, out of all of us, will be just fine.

  When the hell did I become such a romantic?

  Walking into an empty school doesn’t surprise me since it’s almost five o’clock. All practices are over.

  Down the hallway, I hear a locker closing and figure it’s my dad cleaning up after his players. He always complains he might as well be a maid, as messy as the locker room is after practice and games.

  “Dad!” I say, pushing into the locker room. Nick stands there in nothing but a white towel. “Oh, shit, sorry, Nick.” I’m frozen with my hand over my face, but it doesn’t block anything.

  He tightens the towel around his waist. It almost slips, but he catches it. Too bad. The way it hangs dangerously low on his hips displays the good shape he’s in. What kind of exercise does a guy have to do to get that deep V? My fingers tingle to reach out and touch him.

  Okay, these are not the thoughts I should be having, but I’m human. Any girl with a pulse and a vagina can see he’s worth every impure thought. Everything about him screams, “Hey, girl! Look at me! Go ahead and touch me, while you’re at it.” It’s in the way he smiles like he knows how attractive he is. It’s both annoying and such a turn-on.

  Snap out of it, Hannah. Say something.

  Chapter Eight

  Nick

  Coach rides me hard throughout practice. I’ve been running suicide drills since my damn skates hit the ice. Pain pulses through my legs and shoulders with each shuffle of the stick in my hand. It takes a lot out on a player’s body, but in the end, I’m happy with the extra conditioning.

  “Are you actually trying to kill me, Coach?” I stop on the goal line after my third set, removing my helmet as the rest of my team exits the ice. They’ve managed to run a normal practice around me.

  “Did I tell you to stop, Kovac?” Coach stands on center ice, his hands on his hips. This guy is out of his mind if he thinks I’m going to run another set of suicides.

  “Coach, come on. I’ve learned my lesson,” I beg, because at this point, my legs tell my mouth to do anything to give them some rest.

  “No, you haven’t. I get it. I’m not your old man, but I am here to teach you a thing or two. Sometimes you get lucky, and I dazzle you with my knowledge of this sport you’re so hell bent on throwing down the drain.” He holds his hand up when I open my mouth. “Then sometimes,
I will stand here on this ice and teach you what it means to be a man. Do you understand me?”

  “Yes, Sir.” I put my helmet back on. There is no way in hell he is letting my ass get out of my skates just yet. I square my shoulders, shift the blades across the slick ice, and decide to listen with no complaints.

  “This is your last set,” he says, and as I’m about to take off to finish strong, he continues, “and at every line, I want you to shout out anyone you may have disappointed over the past week.”

  “Coach.” I lean on my stick, shocked by the punishment he’s chosen for me. He’s never done anything like this to any of his players. Why now? Why me?

  “You’ve been acting like you’re the only person in this world who’s hurt or angry. The truth is we all felt the pain. It rendered us silent for some time. There were nights when Hannah cried so hard, I wasn’t sure I would find her still breathing. I couldn’t help her. Do you know what happened?” Coach skates up to me, looking me directly in my eyes. “She woke up one morning, and that pain she’d felt, she allowed herself to release it. You have to realize it’s okay to be angry, but it’s never going to be okay to sacrifice everything at the expense of that anger.” Coach turns away. “Now, call out everyone you’ve disappointed, and allow yourself to let it all go. Leave it out here on the ice, Nick, and go live.”

  Angry at him for being bold enough to say what he’s said, I skate away. We both know it’s true. Everyone has been right all along. I’ve done things and said things that are hurtful. My actions have been killing my parents, and if Coach says to leave it on the ice, then I’m going to leave it on the ice.

  Once I’m on the first line, Coach nods his chin, holding his whistle to his mouth. He blows, sending me on a tear.

  “My parents!” I yell, and surprisingly, it feels good to admit. I hustle back to the first line and skate a little further down the ice. “My teachers.” I repeat the motions, to the next marker. “My friends.” I nearly trip, focused on who I’ve disappointed and less on the ice. “You, Coach!” I scream through the burn in my chest. This is the last trip down the ice, and I stop, skirting to the side and throwing shavings against the boards. “Mia,” I whisper.

  And then, I finish strong, walking off the ice, my head held high and my shoulders a little bit lighter.

  The locker room is peaceful compared to the usual madness after practice. They must have hustled into the showers and out of here for it to be this quiet. I strip out of my practice jersey and pads and pull my sweaty undershirt over my head. As soon as my pants hit the floor, I wrap a towel around my waist, anxious to shower. My sore muscles are looking forward to the hot water.

  “Dad!” Hannah shouts as she walks through the door. “Oh, shit, sorry, Nick.” She holds her hand up to cover her eyes.

  “Chill out, Hannah.” I chuckle. “It’s just a bare chest.”

  Her hand slowly drops. “Have you seen my dad?” Her eyes shift across my body.

  “He went into his office.” I tighten the towel, letting it slip just enough to see her breath hitch.

  If her jaw goes any slacker, it will bounce off the cheap carpet. Her eyes skim my length, so much so, I wiggle my toes, hoping to snap her out of her trance. Her throat bobs up and down with a thick swallow. Ready to wash off today’s troubles, I clear my throat to bring Hannah back to reality.

  Hannah and I have been around each other far too many times to count, and never once have I seen her look at me like this. Sure, she’s let her eyes linger, but right now, she looks deprived and hungry. I’ve grown accustomed to ignoring the wandering eyes. Mia never minded, but something tells me she wouldn’t be too fond of Hannah’s eyes on me like this.

  “Hannah,” I whisper.

  She lifts her head, and our eyes lock. Briefly, hers stray to my bare chest and then back up to mine.

  “You’re naked.” She bites her lip.

  “There’s a towel here. Hardly naked.”

  “You know what I mean.” She lifts her hands.

  “Does this bother you?” I chuckle. For some reason, making Hannah nervous brings me so much joy. “Relax, Hannah. I’m not going to drop the towel. Not like it matters. You’ve already felt it.”

  Am I flirting with her? Why would I be flirting with her?

  “Don’t remind me.” She releases a hard breath. “Why are you still here?”

  “Coach worked me over on the ice.” I shrug. “Made me see a few things I may have been neglecting lately.”

  “He has a way of meddling.” She sits on the end of the bench, eye level with my dick, and I laugh because she turns away, realizing what she’s done. Damn, she’s really flustered.

  I drop down beside her, putting her out of her misery. “Yeah, it seems to be a Barnes family tradition.” I knock my elbow into her.

  She smiles. “I’m sorry. I can be...”

  “Pushy?” I interrupt.

  “Yes, I can be pushy.”

  “Can’t be mad about it. You’re always coming from a good place, and you and your old man are right.”

  “I’m sorry, can you say that again? Maybe a little louder so he can hear it in his office.” She grins, shaking out her hair. I’ve never noticed how soft it looks, the perfect length, and so blonde. I’m a brunette kind of guy, but I get the appeal. She looks like sex wrapped in the perfect package.

  Stop thinking like that. Nothing good will come of it.

  “Coach made me run a suicide drill, and at every stop, admit to disappointing those around me. You were on that list. I may not have called your name, but you’ve been nothing but kind, and I’ve basically shit on you for it, and I’m sorry.” I stand to head to the showers but see her eyes lingering on me. This overwhelming feeling comes over me whenever Hannah’s in front of me. I want to know who she is, but why? “Do you want to hang out or something?” I blurt before I have a second to think about it.

  “Tonight?” She stands, fidgeting in place.

  “Boy, are you seriously standing in front of my daughter in nothing but your towel?” Where the hell did he come from? His hand hits the back of my head.

  I rub the pain away. “Sorry, Coach.” I walk past him and wink at Hannah. “Wait for me, okay?”

  I’m not even one foot into the shower when I hear Coach telling her to be safe and to not stay out too late. Like a rush of a wave over a beach, what I did settles in my mind. Why did I ask her to hang out?

  The water is hot, and I lean my head back, letting it cascade over my body. Everything melts away in the quiet of the shower. Lost in my thoughts of what I’m supposed to do about Hannah, and why I feel like I want to hang out with her in the first place, I make quick work of washing my hair and body.

  “Lock up, Kovac!” Coach yells. I lean my head up and look around the corner. There he stands. “And I don’t think I need to say this, but that’s my baby girl out there, and I’ll fucking kill you.”

  “I don’t think you’re allowed to say that to a student.” I mockingly raise an eyebrow.

  “They won’t find you to ask you about it.” He grins, like he’s envisioning what he’d do to me. “Make sure to lock up.”

  “Sure thing, Coach.” I salute him and go back to rinsing off.

  What is Coach worried about? Hannah and I are friends, and I use the word friends lightly. Hell, I don’t even know why we are hanging out. Jesus, why am I standing in the shower debating this? I’m not in seventh grade. Man up, and either drop her ass off at home, or hang out with her. It’s not going to kill me.

  I wrap a clean towel around my waist and walk out into the locker room. She’s sitting on the bench in front of my locker. Her head hangs low, and she’s typing away on her phone. She stills and looks up, her movements slow, working her eyes from my feet up to my face.

  I don’t think she means to, but she stalls on my chest.

  “Hey.” She stands, shifting on her feet like she’s not sure where she’s supposed to go from here. “I should probably let you get dressed.”
>
  “Hannah, chill out and just turn around.” I twirl my finger around and go to my locker to pull out my clothes. Once I have my pants on, I tap her on the shoulder. “Coast is clear.”

  She leans against the small section of the wall next to the locker room doors. Her eyes do that thing again, scanning over me, and I really wish she’d stop. I’m used to being ogled. Hell, girls have been throwing themselves at me for as long as I can remember. But it feels different when it’s Hannah. She’s Mia’s best friend. Fuck, this isn’t a good idea, and I’m not even sure why it’s not a good idea.

  “If you don’t want to hang out, I can have my dad come back and pick me up. I rode with him to school today. It’s really no big deal.” She plays with the ends of her hair, avoiding where I stand at all costs.

  “I didn’t say that. It’s just...”

  Her head flies up. “This feels strange, right?” She says exactly what I’m thinking.

  “Like we’re betraying her by being friends.”

  “She’d want us to be close, right? I mean, we both lost her. She was your girlfriend and my best friend. No one outside of her family loved her quite like we did.”

  “That’s what Nicole said that day I snapped at you outside of the rink. She told me I shouldn’t plow down on you with all my anger. You’re probably the only one who may understand me.” I shrug, knowing it’s true.

  “I could use a friend. Everyone always looks at me, expecting me to be sad, and I’m really sick of being sad.” She clutches her hand to her heart.

  “I understand that.” A lump forms in my throat, and I swallow it down.

  “It’s settled, then. Finish getting dressed, and I’ll meet you outside.”

  She leaves, and I’m left a little stunned.

  The way she makes it seem so easy– as if I can walk out of this locker room and meet her in the parking lot, and everything will fall into place– is both unlikely and hilarious. These are unnavigated waters, and I’m fucking drowning, searching for my next breath.

  I close the doors and lock them like Coach asked. Out in the parking lot, Hannah sits on the hood of my truck. Her blonde hair whips in the wind, and she grabs it to tie it up in one of those low ponytails that look messy. Mia’s hair was pretty, but she always kept it in the same style.