“I used to look at you and Mia and think how lucky you were to have each other, to find something so constant and certain at such a young age.” I swallow my fear and shrug, the heaviness I’m learning to live with settled on my shoulders. “After she passed away, it was hard to be around you. I feel your loss. That part of your heart you keep hidden from the world, I carry it around with me. I can’t imagine what it felt like for Mia to have to let go, to free herself from the pain, knowing she’d have to leave you behind.”
I don’t reach up to dry the tears that have freely begun to fall. They’re cathartic, a way of coping with this reality we’ve both been thrust into. Some days it’s something we’ve chosen, and then others, it’s as if we had no choice at all.
“Baby.” Nick’s fingers tip my chin, forcing me to allow him to see me breakdown.
“I didn’t mean for us to happen.” I bow my head, too anxious to meet his stare. “Not like this. But every moment has been perfect, and I’m struggling between feeling guilty, and completely at ease with my choices.”
“Are you happy when you’re with me?” His voice is playful and puts me at ease. I wiggle back and forth as he grips my hips and tickles me. “Well, are you?”
“It’s not that easy, and you know it, Nick.” Suppressing my grin is hard when his blinding smile is so beautiful.
His eyes are wide and bright, as if he’s gotten it all figured out. “Maybe it should be.”
Chapter Seventeen
Nick
“Good luck tonight.”
The voice echoes in the empty hallway. Startled, I search for her, sensing she’s near.
Hannah steps out from behind one of the trophy cases, looking like a damn dream in her hockey sweatshirt. If only my name and number were on the back like the rest of the girlfriends.
“I don’t need luck,” I say, meeting her halfway. We duck into the hallway that leads to the pool. Everyone is getting ready for the tonight’s game, so we’re alone.
Her tongue peeks out, swiping her lips. “I can think of something I need.” She jumps into my arms, wrapping herself around me.
Staying quiet has been killing us both. The longer we wait, the more impossible it feels. I’d give anything to walk her down the hallway and touch her, kiss her before her next class. Hannah keeps reassuring me we will soon, but it feels like it will never happen. Our relationship will forever remain a secret.
“What exactly do you need, huh?” I squeeze the space between her ass and hips, tilting my head, checking her out.
She wiggles, forcing me to put her down. She grins at me, this devilish sparkle in her eye. She’s up to no good.
“Come with me.” She grabs my hand, pulling me onto the pool deck. She searches back and forth.
It’s empty. We’re alone. With both her hands wrapped around my wrist, she walks backward, leading me into the swim team’s equipment room. The door clicks shut, and she reaches past me to lock it.
“What are you doing?” I ask, watching her sweatshirt lift over her head and float to the floor. “Hannah.” My voice sounds far more concerned than my body is.
“I know you don’t think you need it, but maybe you could use a little bit of luck.” She steps into me, lifting the hem of my shirt, pulling it up and off my body. A chill runs through me, but instantly dissipates when her lips touch the planes of my abs. “It’s torture not to touch you all day.”
“Holy shit.” I close my eyes, digging my hands into her hair as she lowers to her knees.
Like she gets off on torturing me, she slowly releases the button and lowers my zipper. My jeans hang off my hips, and she runs her tongue along the waistband of my boxer briefs.
“I’m gonna need you to lick several inches below there.” I grab her elbows, lifting her off the floor. She takes a few steps back and slips her white tank top over her head, making getting naked look like an art form.
The way she nibbles on her lip like she’s losing control has my head in a fog.
We stand here, half-naked, panting through our desires. I need to get to the locker room. I’ll probably get shit for being late, but there’s no chance in hell I’m leaving Hannah without burying myself inside of her.
“Get over here,” I demand.
Our lips crash together, and I spin us until her back is against the metal equipment shelves. Things crash to the floor, but we don’t stop, stuck inside our own little world where we both have the same bad idea.
Not willing to give up her lips, I snake my hand between us, popping the top button on her jeans. She groans when my hand dips inside.
“Baby!” I hiss excitedly.
“I know!” Her pleased grin forms between our lips.
She’s so warm and wet, soaking through her panties. I work them to the side, dipping a finger inside her. Her mouth warms my neck, her breath heavy. My thumb rubs her clit, and she lightly bites me.
“Dammit,” I whisper as she grabs my jeans and boxer briefs and pulls them down until they hit my ankles.
This isn’t my first time. Fuck, this isn’t my first time with Hannah. What it is, is the first time I’ve been overpowered by the thoughts in my head. So many things I want to do to her run through my mind, and I can barely stay on my feet.
“What?” Her eyes lower with worry.
“I’m imagining all the things I want to do to you.” I need to feel her around me, or I’m going to lose my shit. As if she knows, her hand wraps around my dick. “You need to stop, or I’m going to come.”
“Isn’t that sort of the point?” She peers at me through her long, thick lashes. “Now, are you going to have me stand here, or are you going to do some of those things you’re thinking about?”
I hoist her onto the desk in the far back corner. It’s the perfect height. The head of my cock slips painfully close to her pussy.
“What are you waiting for, Nick?” Hannah shifts her ass to the edge of the table. I reach behind her, freeing her bra clasp. My mouth dips low, sucking her nipple between my lips. “Holy shit,” she pants. “Don’t stop.”
I peek at her to find her eyes closed. Damn, she’s so gorgeous. Not able to handle it any longer, I run myself along her slit and plunge deep inside of her. It’s quick and dirty, very different than our other times, but everything we need right now. She moans, taking every inch of me. I cover her mouth to quiet her, driving deeper and harder into her.
“Holy fuck, Hannah! You’re so wet,” I groan into her neck, licking the soft skin as I come undone.
Nothing feels more like a victory than when she can’t stop kissing me, running her tongue along mine, like if I pulled away, she’d be devastated. We remain still, my dick twitching inside her.
“You’re mine,” I whisper. Looking in her eyes, I see it. She is mine, and it’s about time everyone knows. “Tomorrow, we’re telling everyone. I’m done sneaking around, Hannah.”
She kisses the corner of my mouth, accepting what I’ve said. Relief envelops me, knowing we won’t have to lie anymore. We can go to the movies or dinner without worrying. She can grab my hand in the hallway. I’ve spotted her enough times catching herself. To kiss her first thing in the morning when I get to school seems like such an insignificant thing, but I’m desperate for a new normal.
I pull out of her, and she tosses my shirt at me and grabs her panties and pants.
“You better hurry, or else, you’ll be late.”
Not one to argue, I make quick work of my clothes and come up behind her, circling my hand around her waist and dipping it into her panties. “What about you?”
“Oh, trust me, I’ll get mine later.” She looks at me over her shoulder, and damn, I feel myself readying up to go again. She spins in my arms and hoists herself on the table we’ve just fucked on. With confidence, she guides my hand back inside her panties. “Every goal you make, that’s how many times you’re going to bury yourself inside me tonight. So, try not to waste all your energy out on the ice.”
I bite my tongue, rol
ling my finger over her clit to see her cheeks flush from the sensation. She moans when I have to back away. “I’ll see you after the game then.”
*****
“Where ya been, Kovac?” Kellan asks, gaining Coach’s attention.
“Sorry, I lost track of time,” I lie, dipping my head into my locker to avoid Coach Barnes’ curious stare.
“Like hell. It’s game day. You’re never late. It’s practically your superstition to be in the locker room before any of us.” Kellan sits on the bench, his eyes skeptical of the blatant lie we both know I’ve told.
“Let’s worry more about the game ahead of us, and a little less on how I spend my time.” I undress and get my gear on.
The team looks like they’re dragging ass, so I plug my phone into the sound system. My pre-game playlist pours through the speakers.
This is the perfect distraction, a chance for us to get in the right mind frame. It’s go-time, and we’re ready for this match-up. Coach tells us it’s time, and we do our normal routine. Nothing different. Nothing new.
Going into this game, we’re high in our rankings, only having lost three games. It’s been the season Coach has been desperate for. He knew we had it in us, determined to push the team to our highest performance, and he’s done just that.
After the first puck drops, we work like a well-oiled machine. Our skates are fast and our hits clean. I’ve only visited the penalty booth twice, which is saying something. There’s so much riding on this game.
Out on the ice, a certain atmosphere surrounds you. You feel a shift when something isn’t right. The crowd even gives off their own vibes. As a player, you either feed off it, or it can throw you off your game.
When I feel it, I’m in the penalty box for a high stick. It’s like pin pricks on my neck. I sit up straighter and try my fucking hardest to focus on the game, but the sensation is unrelenting, crawling up my neck like a snake.
Over my shoulder, Hannah’s eyes catch mine. Hers widen, a certain kind of surprise I don’t like to see. She jerks her head to the side, gesturing to a group of guys. Dead center, with a smug ass grin on his face, is Grady Sanderson.
I immediately see red.
Hannah must know I’m on the verge. She shakes her head and lifts her hand and lowers it, telling me to relax. The off-ice official alerts me of my freedom from the penalty box. I skate onto the ice.
By the time the second period is over, I’ve checked the stands a hundred times.
“You good, Kovac?” Coach Barnes asks.
Damn, maybe I’m off my game if Coach is noticing something. What is that motherfucker Grady doing here anyway? He’s in my head, and I hate that I’ve allowed him there.
“I’m good, Coach,” I lie, checking over his shoulder.
Grady presses past his friends and crosses the aisle to where Hannah is now sitting alone. Where the hell did Nicole go?
Like Grady knows exactly how to push every fucking button in my body, he quirks an eyebrow at me, running his eyes along an invisible line straight towards Hannah.
The ref blows the whistle, and I know my ass needs to get out on the ice. It’s where I belong. And then, Grady wraps his hand around Hannah’s arm. She tries to jerk back, but he holds on tight. The moment she winces, I know I’m going to make a decision I’m not going to be proud of in the morning.
“Coach, put someone in for me!” I shout, sitting down on the bench and untying my laces.
Kellan stands on the other side of the boards, looking at me like I’ve lost my mind. Maybe I have. Hell, I won’t know until I’m in front of this asshole.
“Kovac, what the hell are you doing?” Coach yells, but the ref blows his whistle again, and Coach pushes a junior to take my place.
I drop my gloves on the bench and jump over the wall dividing us from the fans. As I walk up the steps, everyone pats me on the back like I’ve done something worthy of their attention. They must be wondering what I’m doing, and where I’m going.
Every step I take brings back a splash of memories from the night at the bonfire. Hannah showing up to rescue me. Grady calling her a bitch and putting his hands on her. I warned him that night. He’ll never fucking learn, but he’s about to get the lesson of a lifetime.
Hannah’s eyes widen to the size of saucers as I encroach on Grady’s back. Her unease alerts Grady. When he looks over his shoulder, my fist smashes his jaw line with a satisfying crack. He stumbles, and I jump on him, digging deeper with every punch I land. Screams echo through the rink. The booth must find enjoyment in my little adventure, because a rock song starts to play, blasting through the speakers and fueling my anger.
I back away, glaring at him on the cement floor at Hannah’s feet. “Motherfucker, did you actually think I’d sit down there while you put your hands on my girlfriend?”
“Nick!” Hannah screams, forcing me to look in her direction.
The crowd around us is so silent, you could hear a pin drop. Her eyes start to water. The whispers start slow and low.
“Fuck!” I mutter, angry with myself.
It happens in an instant. There is no control inside of my body. Forgetting what I’ve just done, I lunge forward to get in one more punch. Arms lock around me to keep me in place. Grady stumbles to his feet and lands a solid right hook to my face. A metallic taste floods my mouth. I spit the blood on the gray cement and wrestle free from the hold.
“Kovac!” Coach Barnes yells over the chaos.
I stop before throwing another punch and look around. The players are frozen on the ice, and the entire arena is watching me and Grady. Out of the corner of my eye, I see my dad and mom worm their way through the crowd.
“What the hell, Nick?” my dad says when he reaches me.
Hannah looks like she’s seen a ghost. Tears stream down her pale cheeks. One of her hands covers the spot Grady had grabbed. I push past everyone else to get to her.
“Let me see.” I bend down to capture her eyes with mine. “Hannah, please, let me see what he did.”
She gasps, a moment of panic settling in. Her hand slowly falls, and in this moment, I don’t think I’ve ever felt more helpless. He dug his nails in deep enough to leave marks. My fingers trace the blemishes.
“What have you done, Nick? What are we supposed to do?” she whispers, wincing when I run my hand over the broken skin. “Really, I’m okay.” That right there, the unshed tears, the ones she’s trying so hard to fight back, is what breaks me.
“Don’t lie to me.”
“He threatened to tell everyone about us. I don’t know how he knows.” She grips my jersey, pulling me close. “He said I was nothing but a whore, but I suppose that doesn’t matter anymore.” Her eyes scan the stands. Every single head is turned in our direction, watching us together.
“Kovac!” Coach Barnes yells again. This time he leaves the bench, Kellan right on his heels. I should’ve known, expected this. “What the hell’s going on? Get into my locker room right now.”
“Coach!” I roar. “You don’t understand.”
“What I understand is you can’t find it in yourself to be a better man and walk away.” He points to the exit. “Go! Now! You’ll be lucky if you have a spot on my team come tomorrow.” He locks Grady in his sights. “As for you, get out of my rink, and take your little buddies with you.”
“Coach!” I’m desperate for him to understand, but as he walks back to the team, his face is red with anger. I don’t have enough nerve to search for Kellan.
What’s the point? Coach has already made up his mind.
When my dad tries to stop me, I jerk his hand away and push through the crowd. In the locker room, I shed my gear and pace back and forth along the lockers. As the game continues, the puck slapping against the boards echoes through the place. My anger heightens with every minute that passes by. Coach didn’t even give me a single moment to explain what had happened. Does he think I walked up there for no reason?
“You okay?” Hannah’s sweet voice relaxes me
like a cool shower on a hot day. I round the bench to find her standing inside the locker room door. “Nick, you didn’t have to.”
“Yeah, I did. Seeing him touch you nearly broke me. I didn’t think he would hurt you, but clearly I was wrong.” I gesture to her forearm.
Commotion fills the locker room as the team files in between us. I watch Hannah’s sad eyes over their heads. Coach and Kellan walk in last.
“What the hell happened, Kovac?” Coach Barnes yells, throwing his clipboard against the drinking fountain.
“Oh, now you want to listen to me,” I say in spite.
“You might get suspended for a game, or worse, the fucking year, dip shit,” Kellan interjects.
“Coach, listen to me.” Desperation bleeds in my voice. I don’t want to be suspended for any games, but I won’t apologize either.
“What happened to your arm?” Kellan shoves past me and inspects Hannah’s wounds, worry marring his brow.
“Something happened to you?” Coach rushes over to his daughter, checking her over.
She tries to push them away, but it’s too late. They’re both worried sick. Welcome to the fucking club.
Coach turns, shaking his head and looking at me.
“I tried to tell you,” I whisper.
“He did this to her?” Coach sounds sullen and defeated, pointing at Hannah.
“Coach, Achilles heel,” I say, using his own words against him.
He once called Mia my Achilles heel, and she was, but she’s not the only one I have now.
“Okay.” He takes a deep breath. With a red face, he looks like he’s about ready to go out there and find Grady. “Okay,” he repeats, holding his hand up. Whether it’s to calm me down or himself, I’m not sure.
“Dad,” Hannah says. “I’m fine.”
I grab her hand and walk her to the bench. The team is waiting to see what they need to do next.
“Can someone please tell me what’s going on?” Kellan says, completely confused.
I ignore his question, grab the first aid kit, and sit down next to her. “We should probably get this cleaned up.”
Under a Different Sky Page 22