Si Klegg, Book 4

by John McElroy

  CHAPTER VI. DISTRESSING ENEMIES

  OTHER THAN THE REBELS AND RAIN, MUD, AND SWOLLEN STREAMS.

  SI WOKE up early the next morning with a savage exclamation.

  "I declare, I'm all on fire," he said. "Some thing's just eating me up. Ibelieve I've got a million graybacks on me."

  I'M ALL ON FIRE 77]

  "Same here, Si," said Shorty. "Never knowed 'em to be so bad. Seem to've just got in from a march, and are chawin' three days' rations outo' me every minute. I'd 'a' thought they'd all 've bin drowned from theduckin' they've bin havin' for the past five days, but it only seems to've sharpened their teeth and whetted their appetites. They've all cometo dinner, and invited their friends."

  "Where in the world could they have all come from?" meditated Si. "Wewuz certainly clean of 'em when we started out six days ago."

  "O, the rebels skipped out in sich a hurry," ex plained Shorty, "thatthey even dropped their house hold pets, which we inherited as wefollered 'em up. I wish this infernal rain'd let up long enough for usto do some skirmishin' and bile our clothes. Or if the sun'd only comeout an hour or two, we could find an ant-hill, an' lay our clothes onit. I don't know any little thing that I enjoy more on a pleasant daywhen we've bin a long march and got mighty 'crumby, than to pull off myshirt and lay it on a lively ant-hill, and light my pipe and set thereand watch the busy ants collar its inhabitants and carry 'em off to fillup their smoke-houses with Winter meat."

  He put his hand meditatively into his bosom as he spoke. As he withdrewit he looked down and exclaimed:

  "Jehosephat, it's fleas, too. Just look there. I'm alive with fleas."

  "Same here," ejaculated Si, who had made a similar discovery. "Justlook at 'em, hoppin' out every where. The rebels have not only set theirgrayback infantry on to us, but are jumping us with their flea cavalry."

  "If you call the graybacks infantry and the fleas cavalry, what in theworld do you call these, Si?" said Shorty, who had made still anotherdiscovery, and was pointing to his wrists and ankles, where rows ofgorged ticks, looking like drops of fresh blood, encircled his limbs.

  "Them's heavy artillery," answered Si; "and, Great Scott, I've got moreof 'em on me than you have. And there's some just back of your ears,Shorty. Be careful, Shorty. Don't touch 'em. Le' me work 'em off. Beawful careful. If you break their heads off they'll stay in and make asore that'll almost never get well."

  They looked down the lines of men who, like themselves, had been rudelyawakened from their slumber on wet beds by "the pestilence thatwalketh by night." There were howls, yells, oaths and imprecations fromeverybody. Officers forgot their carefully-maintained dignity, and wereas vociferous and profane as the men.

  Many were stripped, and trying to singe their wet clothes over thesmoldering fires. Many were even trying to subdue the pests by thrashingtheir garments in the cold water of the creek.

  "'Bout as much use as a General Order from Army Headquarters would beagin the varmints," said Shorty, as he watched their futile labors."Say, you fellers," he called out to them; "why don't you repeat the TenCommandments to 'em? Or sing the doxology? It'll do just as much goodas sloshing your duds around in the water. The water only makes 'emsavager'n ever. You ought to know that from experience."

  By the happy thought of gently touching the gorged wood-ticks with thepoint of a pin Si and Shorty had gotten rid of those plagues, headsand all, so as to leave no apprehension as to future sores. Theycommunicated this method to their afflicted comrades, and then turnedtheir attention to the other parasites.

  "I guess I'll just go down to the Surgeon's tent and git a pound ofangwintum," said Shorty, "and rub myself from head to foot with it.That's the only thing I know of that'll do the least good."

  "Mustn't do that," objected Si. "Put angwintum on you and get wet, andyou'll be salivated. You ought to know that."

  "I don't care," said Shorty desperately. "I'd rather be salivated tillmy teeth drop out and my hair falls off than be carried off in largechunks by fleas and graybacks. Come along."

  "Mebbe the Surgeon has something else that'll pizen these littlecusses," said Si, falling in with his comrade.

  They found a clamorous group around the Surgeon's tent, asking for"angwintum (mercurial ointment) or anything else that would alleviatetheir torments. The worried Surgeon was scratching himself as heexplained to the Colonel:

  "It seems to me, 'Colonel, that the rising water has concentrated allthese parasites on the higher ground over which we have come. This isthe only way in which I can account for their severe visitation upon us.The parasites seem to have the same instinct to gather on elevatedspots when the water is rising that other animals have, and we haveconsequently gathered up four or five times as many, to say the least,as we should otherwise have gotten. But you don't know the worst of ityet. You see those men? They have sore feet. But it isn't ordinary sorefeet. They've got chiggers in their feet."

  "Chiggers. What are they?" asked the Colonel.

  "Chiggers, jiggers, chigoes pulex penetrans," answered the Surgeon."They are a great pest in the tropics, where the people go barefootedand do not take any care of their feet. This is the first time that Ihave ever heard of them being so far north. But there is no doubt abouttheir being chiggers. They burrow in under the skin, and cause a greatdeal of suffering. Some of the men's hands and fingers are also affectedby them. They are terrible things to deal with when they once get thestart. If this thing goes on, not a man in the regiment will be able towalk a step."

  "What can be done?" gasped the Colonel, gripping for a flea in hisbosom.

  "Nothing," answered the Surgeon, smashing an insect on the back of hishand, "except to issue a stringent order that the men must take specialcare of their feet and hands."

  "Humph," said the Colonel, scornfully, as he caught a bug on his wrist;"much sense in an order of that kind, when the men have to wade throughmud and water 18 hours out of 24, and then sleep in it the other six. Isthat the best you can suggest? Is that all your conscience has to offer?Remember that you are responsible for the efficiency of the men on thisgreat campaign, upon which the safety of the country depends. It willbe a severe reflection upon you if you allow them to be broken down by afew insects."

  "Great Pharaoh and Moses," responded the Surgeon irritably, as hegrabbed for "a bite" on his throat. "Here we are, confronted with acondition of things like the curses which God Almighty sent against theEgyptians, and you expect me to manage it with quinine and epsom salts.It can't be done, Colonel."

  "Isn't there anything that you can suggest or recommend that willmitigate this trouble?" said the Colonel in a more conciliatory manner,for he had just succeeded in crushing a tormentor. "Certainly, theremust be something in your pharmacopeia which will at least retard theseinfernal vermin from eating my men alive. Can't you at least check thema little until we can get through the campaign? Then the men can betrusted to take care of themselves." And the Colonel made a swoop for aparticularly vicious flea which was banqueting on the lobe of his ear.

  "I never set up as a sharp on parasites," said the Surgeon, running downa "small deer" inside his collar; "but I remember to have read thatan application of tobacco-juice is about as effective a preventive ofinsect bites as can be found."

  "That'll do; that'll do," said Shorty triumphantly, as he and Si startedback to their places to act at once on the Surgeon's suggestion. "Justthe thing. Tobacker'll kill 'em deader than small-beer. Why didn't Ithink about it before?"

  Shorty had some strong black plug tobacco. He cut this up into smallpieces, while Si found an old tin can, into which they were put, andthen the can filled up with boiling water.

  "Let's make her good and strong, Si," said Shorty, putting in some moretobacco; "for the fellers are sock-dolagers, and it will take a horsedose to kill 'em. They'll just enjoy a little taste o' terbacker. Makeit strong enough to bear up an aig. Now, let's git our clothes offwhile it's coolin' down. You drench me, and I'll drench you, and we'llsalivate these gallinippers in a wa
y that'll surprise 'em."

  The surprise seemed to be mostly on the other side. Shorty's skin wasraw from head to foot from the depredations of the various tribes of"epizoa," as the physicians generalize them. He gave a yell that couldbe heard through the whole regiment as the acrid, biting tobacco-juicestruck a thousand little punctures in his skin inside of a second.Everybody rushed up to see what was the matter, and stood around,laughing and commenting, while scratching and slapping at their owncolonies of tormentors. Then Shorty began the most vehement streamof profanity, and showered maledictions on everything in the Stateof Tennessee, which was only a breeding place for fleas, woodticks,jiggers, graybacks, niggers, rebels, traitors, bushwhackers, guerrillas,thieves, robbers and murderers, and other spawn of Jeff Davisism.Presently he grew violently sick at the stomach, turned deathly white,and fainted. Frightened, Si rushed for the Surgeon.

  "Only tobacco poisoning," said the latter, after he had looked Shortyover carefully. "You made that solution too strong, and the lot oflittle punctures took it directly into his circulation. You might havekilled him if you had made it stronger, or got more of it on him. Inever saw such rapscallions as you boys are. You are always trying tokill yourselves or one another, in spite of all that I can do or tellyou. A man that's Surgeon of this regiment has to earn his money, I tellyou. He will come out all right pretty soon, only he will be very weak.I'll send you down some whisky to give him."

  "Real old rye, Doctor?" said Shorty, very faintly, and opening his eyesfeebly. "None of your Commissary stuff. This is a powerful bad case, andI need the best."

  "You shall have it," laughed the Surgeon. "I know you. You are all rightwhen you are all right. But you won't be able to march with the columnto-day. I'll give you an excuse from duty. And you (to Si) had betterstay with him. I'll speak to your Captain."

  The bugles were sounding the "assembly" every where, and the men,slapping and scratching as if they would tear their flesh and theirclothes off, were hastily swallowing their last mouthfuls of hot coffeeand bread and pork, snatching up their guns and blankets and falling in.

  "Shelbyville is only six miles away," said the Orderly-Sergeant ashe lined up Co. Q, and clawed around his clothes at his persecutors."There'll be a circus to-day, and no postponement on account o' theweather. It'll either be the gol-darnedest fight that the 200th InjiannyVolunteers ever got into or the cussedest foot-race that ever wuz run.Here, Biles, consarn you, leave that fire and your munching, and fallin. You're like a cow's tail always behind."

  Shorty made a violent effort to rise up and join the company, but he wasmanifestly too weak. Si was in sore distress. He didn't want to leavehim, but he was anxious to be with his company.

  "Corporal Klegg," said the Captain, coming down the line, and giving afrequent furtive scratch at himself, "Shorty can't possibly go with usto-day. I'm awfully sorry, but there is no use talking about it.You must stay behind and take care of him, and take care of thesesore-footed men who will be unable to keep up. The Colonel orders you tocommand the whole outfit. You keep them together, keep up as well as youcan, and if you see any place that you can be useful, go in. I know andthe Colonel knows that you can be trusted to do that."

  This made Si more reconciled to being left behind, and he mentallyresolved that, though he might not be with his beloved regiment,he would manage to do his full share in the impending battle forShelbyville.

  The "Second Lieutenant and Aid-de-Camp" came up. It was noticed in thedistance that he was suffering from the same causes as the others, butas soon as he came into the immediate presence of the men his officialdignity asserted itself, he refrained from nervous pursuit of hisverminiferous assailants, and walking stiffly up to the Colonel,saluted, and said:

  "Colonel, I came to report the conduct of a couple of your men who cameunder my command night before last, and who, while doing very well insome respects, were so grossly disrespectful to me that they shouldbe given a sharp lesson. Unless this is done, it will tend to impairdiscipline and diminish the respect which men should show officers."

  The Colonel looked straight at the young officer, and noticed anunusually large insect emerge from his collar and walk deliberatelyup his neck onto his cheek. It must have been intensely annoying, butdignity triumphed, and the Lieutenant stood stiffly as a ramrod.

  "I'm very sorry to hear that any of my men should seem wanting inrespect to their officers," said the Colonel quietly, as he "attendedto" a wicked flea which was breakfasting off his wrist. "I can hardlybelieve it. I have the most obedient and respectful men in the wholearmy. I'm afraid you did something that provoked, if it did not justify,disrespectful conduct."

  The Lieutenant would have been different from the rest of the army ifhe had not been very short of temper that morning. The pangs that hewas compelled to endure without the relief of scratch ing made him stillmore irritable, and he forgot him self sufficiently to answer:

  "I beg your pardon, sir, but you are in error when you represent yourmen to be respectful and subordinate. On the contrary, they are the mostlacking in that of any men in the army. I am constantly yelled at bythem as I pass, and they say very insulting things to me. I'm determinedto put a stop to it, and I want you to begin with those two men. If youdon't I shall make a strong report on the subject to the General, whichmay lead to your being placed under arrest."

  "Young man," said the Colonel severely, as he calmly exterminatedanother one of his tormentors, "you are so infested with vermin that Ican see them crawling out from your clothes. It is an insult to me tohave you appear before me in such a condition. Get out of here at once,and never approach me again in such a condition, or I shall be compelledto deal with you as you deserve."

  The Lieutenant marched away, holding himself more stiffly than ever, andthe Colonel walked to ward the other flank of the regiment, looking socross that no one dared give the laugh he was bursting with until he hadmounted his horse and shout ed the command, "Forward!"

  The rain actually ceased, and the sun came out for the first time in 10long days; from miles to the right and left came sounds of infantry andartillery firing, gradually swelling in volume. Under these excitinginfluences, aided, perhaps, by a really fine article of whisky, whichthe Surgeon had left, Shorty rapidly recovered, picked up his gun, threwhis blanket-roll over his shoulders, and announced his eagerness tomove forward. The sore-footed men began to feel that their feet were notreally as sore as they had thought, and they also hobbled forward. Theroad by which they had camped led straight to Shelbyville, and they feltthat by following it they would have the best chance of getting intothe fight. The road was filled with cavalry, and Si and his squad workedtheir way through the woods to the right to get up nearer the front andfind an infantry line.

  "What in the world are they doin' with all these cavalry here?" saidShorty fretfully. "They can't do nothin' agin the mud forts and big gunsand miles o' breastworks and abatis and felled timber that the rebels've bin puttin' out in front of Shelbyville for the last six months.Horses are only in the way for sich work. They must 'v'e put the cavalryback here to be safe, while the infantry does the work. We'll git inahead o' the 'critter-companies' somewhere and find the dough-boys."

  At last they came out on a hill which commanded a view of the country,and halted, with an exclamation of delight at the magnificant sightspread out before hem. The sun was now half-way up in the sky, andshining with a brightness which seemed divine after the long period ofdrenching showers. Its light was reflected in brilliance from thousandsof sabers and accouterments and the waving of flags of the cavalrydivisions which filled the country as far as the eye could reach.Ascending the slope at the farther side of the valley was askirmish-line, two miles long, of dismounted cavalry men, from whichrose wreathes of smoke as it pressed steadily forward up the hillagainst the rebels ensconced there. In the green fields on either sideof the road, and in the road itself, were regiments and brigades ofhorsemen, massed up solidly, impatiently waiting for the progress of theskirmishers to bring about t
he moment when they could be hurled againstthe enemy in a mighty avalanche of war. Bugles were sounding, flagsflying, and all was intense, high-wrought, exciting animation.

  The boys gave a cheer of exultation at the sight. Suddenly two littleregiments separated themselves from the rest, drew sabers, and, withbugles sounding the charge and the men yelling, rode straight at theinfantry and the batteries defending the crest of the hill. The rebelsbroke before the cavalry could reach them, and began a wild flight,with infantry, cavalry and artillery mixed in wild confusion, and ourhorsemen swooping down on them, capturing horses, men and cannon.

  On everybody swept until the crest was gained which commanded a view ofShelbyville and its famous intrenchments. From these cannon thunderedout, and long lines of infantry could be seen hurrying into the works torepel the audacious horsemen. Si and Shorty held their breaths, forit seemed that nothing but destruction awaited the cavalry in thoseawfully-planned defenses. But the cavalry thundered on with a headlongspeed. Artillery galloped up on our side, to answer that in the works,and the boys lost speech in amazement at seeing the horsemen tearthrough the wide abatis and jump the high breastworks, while thedefenders streamed back in rout into Shelbyville, pursued every stepwith yell and blow by the furious cavalry. Then came the noise ofterrible fighting in the streets of Shelbyville. Jo Wheeler was massingevery cannon that could be brought up to him in a desperate effort tohold the town, at least, until Forrest could come to his help, or hecould make an orderly retreat across Duck River. But, bitterly as hefought, the Union troopers fought still more savagely. They simply wouldnot allow the thought of successful resistance, and wave after wave offierce charges followed so rapidly that Wheeler's men broke and fled forsafety into and across the river.

  The boys yelled themselves hoarse as they saw the stream of rebelfugitives pour across the river and seek safety in the country beyond.

  "Well, Shelbyville is ours at last, after all this waiting and marchingand manuvering," said Si, in a tone of intense exultation. "And thecavalry took it. Wish it had been the 200th Injianny Volunteers. I'vealways looked down on the cavalry, but I won't do so any more. I wishthe 200th Injianny was mounted. My gracious, wasn't it grand the waythose fellers just galloped over everything in sight breastworks, forts,batteries, felled timber, and lines of infantry."

  "Yes," assented Shorty. "I wouldn't 've missed the sight for the bestfarm in the Wabash bottoms. It was worth marching 10 days in the mud andrain to see."

  "Here, Corporal," said a Cavalry Lieutenant, riding up, "I want you totake charge of these prisoners with your squad, so we can go back andget some more. The woods are full of them. I'll make out a receiptfor you to sign. I think there's just 100 of them. Count them over foryourself."

  "Sure," said Si, springing forward.