Antidote (Beasts of Prey Book 1)

by LC Lehesaho

  I bend my knees and lean over them. How the fuck did this happen?

  If Cobra didn't fuck him yesterday, she ain't going to hold back today.

  I messed up, big time.

  "Where's your phone?" I snap my head up and jerk my hand toward Puma. "Give it to me."

  He rolls his eyes but hands it over anyway. "There's no point, you two can't—"

  "Shut up, or I'll return your phone by shoving it up your fucking ass." I type Cobra's number and tap my foot on the floor while waiting for her to answer.

  It doesn't take long.

  "I think I made myself—" Cobra says, but I stop her.

  "It's me, baby, I'm so sorry," I huff out as fast as I can, so she won't hang up. Puma lets out a heavy sigh, and I hope he finds a brain back there with that eye workout.

  "And for you too, I made myself perfectly clear. Don't call me again."

  At that, the line dies and so does a big part of me with it. The pressure is excruciating, and before I can stop myself, I throw the phone at the wall. It cracks into pieces, the sound of it echoes in the bathroom.

  "You're gonna buy me a new one, bro," Puma states. "And hey... I really am sorry. This whole situation is so fucked-up."

  28

  My body is boiling with anger, and it takes every fucking bit of my self-control to stay seemingly calm in the passenger seat of Luke's car. He's been eyeing me with concern coloring his eyes, but I've noticed how his eyes drop now and then to my half-naked body. I managed to be almost polite when I jumped into his car and told him to give me a minute before speaking to me.

  I don't want to yell at him too.

  And because he is a really good guy, he actually gives me that minute, even though his eyes wander. I don't mind—in fact, I want him to look at me like that.

  My anger dances with the pain Tiger's actions caused. The way he kept twisting the knife after he stabbed me in the heart with it.

  I fucking hate him.

  "It's me, baby, I'm so sorry."

  Oh, please, he's sorry? What an asshole. I've always known this side of Tiger; the rude, egotistical, and cruel, but never has he been like that to me. He has made me bleed, he even broke my goddamn nose once, but not ever he has been cruel to me. The broken nose was an accident, kind of. But this shit? I have no intention of swallowing it.

  The fucked-up thing in me and my brain? I'm starting to feel the itch. Going to the edge of my emotions does that; every demon breaks free from its prison and plays with my mind. The anxiousness lingers in my cells, tickles my spine, and makes my skin crawl.

  I don't owe him anything.

  I don't need to apologize to him. This is not my fault.

  All I fucking need is to forget.

  My mind is pulling me in different directions, and it feels like there is more than one of me arguing with myself. Yelling at me. Crying. Yelling at him. The one who tries to keep everything together without success.

  Luke clears his throat, sounding awkward. "So..."

  I snap my eyes to him. "What?" It comes out snappier than I wanted. "Sorry, I'm a bit... on edge."

  "I see." He slows the car down and veers onto the shoulder. Then he turns to face me, leaning his back on the door. "What do you wanna do? I don't know a single beach here, so I kind of need directions, 'cause I've been driving the same circle for an hour already."

  My eyes widen when I check the clock on the dashboard. "Oh shit." I'm such a fucking mess. "Sorry." I turn to look at his baby blue eyes. "Fuck. I... I had a rough morning."

  "Wanna talk about it?"

  "No." I turn to mimic his position, back on the door. I wipe my face with a sigh and slide my hands to my hair. "It's one of those days, you know. When the shit hits the fan."

  Luke nods, twisting on his seat and rubs his neck, looking slightly uncomfortable. Then his eyes drop to my chest, and I know precisely why he squirms. I admit it, my bikini is ridiculously small because it's actually Falcon's, and that's why it doesn't even cover my boobs. My chest looks like I'm walking into a Playboy photo shoot.

  But as a decent guy, Luke's eyes don't stay there, and he turns his gaze out to the rear window.

  "Yea, well, whenever you wanna talk, just let me know." He actually sounds sincere, like he wants to talk to me about my problems. It's sweet.

  Truth is, talking is not going to make me forget. Something else will, at least momentarily. It's almost as effective as pain to ease my itch.

  I let my gaze fall to his jeans, and can't help the smile that falls on my face when I take in the view. Luke is going to help me with my itch, oh yes.

  "Look at me," I whisper to him, my voice already dropping low from the lust I let take over my body. When my feelings are roaming, it's just picking one and going with it. They are all there.

  And… sex can cure. I can fuck him out of my system. Forget.

  Luke turns his head back in my direction, and he swallows as he recognizes the sin in my eyes. I slide my other hand down, trailing the string from the bikini, and onto my nipple, circling it with my finger. Luke's eyes are glued to the movement, and he rubs his jaw with a heated expression on his face.

  "Do you still want to be my distraction?"

  "Oh, bloody hell, Cobra," he says with a guttural voice. It liquifies my insides, and I feel the tickling in my abdomen. He runs his hand through his hair. "Are you—"

  "Nuh-uh, don't say it." I cut him off while I slide my Chucks off and lift my other leg to his lap. A throaty groan comes from his mouth as I rub his hard-on with my bare feet. "You want me, right?"

  Luke lifts his gaze from my chest to my eyes. "Yea, I think it's hard to hide."

  "You don't have to hide it from me." I pull the triangle of my bikini top to the side, revealing one of my breasts, and instantly Luke's eyes are back to watch what I do with my fingers. I roll and roll my nipple at the same time as I massage him with my foot. "Take your shirt off for me, please."

  He's such a good boy because Luke doesn't waste a second. His muscular surfer body is very easy on the eyes, so I let my eyes roam over his pecs and abs, taking my time.

  "Can I touch you?" Luke asks, and I almost feel bad. I'm going to ruin this sweet boy.

  "Be my guest."

  My skin shivers as he places his hand on my calf, and slowly, so, so slowly, slides it up to my inner thigh. I'm ready to let go of everything.

  To forget everything.

  Forget.

  Forget.

  When his fingers find their way past my mini-shorts and bikini bottoms, I forget. Closing my eyes, I lean my head on the window and let him take me to the void. I remember nothing, I feel nothing. Nothing, but Luke's fingers giving me the perfect distraction.

  I'm nobody.

  I'm nobody.

  "You're a vision, darling." Luke's voice breaks into my bubble; gentle, but raspy from the need I can feel under my foot. I can feel his dick throbbing against his jeans. The same anticipation that I feel in my core, against his fingers.

  When I open my eyes, I see him staring at me with a fascinated look on his angelic face. My stomach turns and knots as I watch him, the innocent and good-hearted guy, who has no idea what he has gotten himself into.

  Me.

  I'm ruining him.

  But I need this. Everything is going to be okay. I just need to forget everything for now. I'll fix everything afterward. It's going to be okay.

  "Take my pants off," I moan, when he rolls his thumb over my clit, like he's agreeing with my thoughts. Everything is going to be okay. With some wiggling, we manage to get them off, and Luke stops to look at me, like he's asking how I want to do this.

  I don't care how, I just need it to happen, now.

  To make sure there'll be no delays, I climb over the console and straddle him. Luke's hands come to my waist, gripping me gently, and I know he would never leave a mark on me, not even by accident. That, I don't know if it's a good thing or not.

  "Are you okay to do this without the rubber again?" I ask hi
m because I'm not entirely a jackass.

  "I haven't been with anyone after you." He leans to me, kissing my neck, and I know he's asking me the same.

  "Me neither." My chest tightens when I know that I've been close to it with him.

  Don't think about it.

  I focus on getting his dick out of his jeans and inside me, so there won't be a place to think about anything else. I must have been pretty drunk last time because I don't remember him being this big; I made everything up when I bragged to Tiger, but I was apparently spot-on. I'm impressed, and more so, with this, there's no doubt that my thoughts will wander.

  Luke's eyes roam over my body, his eyes half-mast, and he almost looks like he's on drugs. The sad part is that it's because of me, and I'm not worth any of this. I let the thought go, knowing that it won't help me to survive the day.

  "Cobra." His hand slides to my back, caressing me as it goes. "You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

  My God. Taking hold of the base of his neck, I lift myself up to get his dick to my entrance and kiss him, so I won't say what I want to.

  The most beautiful flowers are the most poisonous ones.

  Luke's grip tightens, and he moans against my lips as I take him in, all the way. This I remember—he feels incredible. Luke fills me more than enough, and my mind goes blank, just like it was supposed to. It's just pleasure, nothing more.

  Now, I'm nobody.

  The time loses its meaning when I drown in satisfaction, letting it control my mind and body. Luke's hands are gentle on me when they travel over my body like he can't decide which place to touch next. When I moan as he caresses my nipples, that's where he stays—such a good boy.

  I feel the emptiness, welcome it with open arms, and let Luke be my placebo today. I move my hips up and down, riding the whole length of him, which is surprisingly tricky in a small car. The oh-shit handle comes in handy when I need assistance as I speed up the tempo. Luke's hands drop to my hips, gripping me as he helps me to move faster. Even though I don't look at him, I keep my eyes closed and embrace the feeling inside me, but I can feel he is watching me the whole time. His heavy panting entwines with my low moans as the pressure grows between us.

  It's just us—this moment.

  There's no holding back the long fuck and sated moans when Luke decides to take me to Heaven and finds my clit with his thumb. He rubs me while he fucks me from beneath, and I can't stop myself from opening my eyes. Right now, I need to know it's him. I won't let my brain start to fuck with me again, like every other goddamn time I'm with someone. I'm with Luke, not him. Never him.

  Luke's bright blue eyes shine with lust and admiration as he watches me while my orgasm grows in the base of my belly.

  "Oh, shit, you're so perfect," he says breathlessly, eyes taking me in and then coming back to my eyes. His muscles are tight, and his skin gleams from sweat, and it's one fucking sexy image. I know from the hard thrusts that he gives back to me that he is close to his own release. I can feel it inside me, but with a good boy like him, I know he'll hold back until I'm ready. He doesn't have to wait long, though. Shivers of satisfaction float over me in waves, making it hard to keep moving as I come around him, reaching the edge and dropping to the other side. Luke follows, his warm release filling me as he groans my name.

  It sounds like praise from his mouth, and at this moment, I'm not me. I am who Luke wants me to be, a typical twenty-year-old chick having fun with him in a car like there is nothing wrong in the world.

  Like there is nothing wrong with me.

  Luke's hands slide around me, he pulls me close to his chest as he holds me like a treasure. I hang on to this moment, the illusion, wrapping my arms around his neck, burying my face in his shoulder. His chest is rising and falling from heavy breaths, and it's oddly soothing. So is his hand, which makes a circular motion on my back, like promising me that everything is going to be okay.

  We stay there for god knows how long. Until my stomach growls from hunger. Luke huffs out a small laugh. "Shall we take care of that next?"

  I lean back, meeting his gaze. He has such beautiful eyes, angelic. "I'm sorry I jumped on you like that." I ignore his question because my welfare is not the issue here. Me using him is.

  Luke raises his hand and slides an escaped strand of hair from my face to the back of my ear. "Seriously, darling, you don't have to apologize for having sex with me. I assure you, I enjoyed it, as you probably noticed," he replies, a smile playing on his lips. "But the offer to talk is still on the table, whenever you are ready, just tell me. Or if you prefer this, that's fine too."

  I blink at him, stunned. "You're way too fucking good to be hanging out with me, Luke."

  "Let me be the judge of that, beautiful." He pulls me close and kisses me gently. My mouth opens up for him, for Luke, and I let myself drown in him. He is so easy to melt into. I know I shouldn't be doing things like this with him because I'll probably just end up hurting him, but he is giving me the euphoria I need, so I can't make myself stop.

  I need him to fix me.

  I'm not Cobra Hayes with him. I'm not a beast. Not a monster. Not a murderer.

  I'm just Cobra. The pink-haired student from uni. The girl who has carefree sex in the car with a cute boy. Goes on a date, and to the beach and all that.

  I'm not fucking broken.

  The sun is burning hot against my skin as I lay by Luke's side at Hyde Island, the long beach outside Shangri-la. I always drive here, even though it takes longer than going to a beach in our city, but I don't like how crowded they are. On a hot day like this, Shangri-la’s beaches are full of people, and there is no privacy. But here? Only four people are at the other end of the long beach.

  My head is resting on Luke's bicep, and I'm sure it must be sore at this point because we've been lying here for hours, but he denies it every time I ask. His hand is resting on my stomach, the other one under his head as a pillow. We're sweaty where our skin collides, but neither one of us moves away. I like the closeness, and more so, I like that he doesn't let me think of him.

  We went on a picnic after our session in the car, and Luke was... well, Luke. Fun, caring, and even more adorable than usual. He is incredibly easy to be around, like a warm summer day.

  I hate myself for admitting it, but I like him.

  Not in a way that I want to make this a regular thing, but right now? This is a perfect distraction. But I know this is still not right for anyone.

  Nothing good comes to people I care about, so it would be better for him if I hated his guts. Thinking about it, even that wouldn't save him. I don't even have to like people to hurt them.

  My phone beeps, about the twelfth time today, and only because I know it might be Dad, I check the screen. I lift it above my face and block the sun with my hand (and Luke's view), so I can see what it says. Yeah, not dad. Yet another text from Tiger, which I ignore, just like the other ones. I haven't even opened them because why should I?

  He’s probably sending some sort of apology in the texts, but I'm not ready. I need time and distance, we both do. He just doesn't fucking get it.

  This fucked-up friendship gone battlefield shit is poisonous for both of us.

  This is not us.

  I want him back, I need him by my side, but it fucking kills me right now even thinking about seeing him. My heart aches because I love him so much, and it hurts to even think about our current situation. How he fucking hurt me.

  "Is everything okay?" Luke asks, his fingers tickling my side.

  "Yeah, it's just my family acting out." I can't say his name or call him my... brother. Not anymore. But he is still family, always will be.

  "Is there…" He pauses for a second. "Something I should be aware of? About you?"

  The hairs on my neck stand up, and I push myself up and turn to look at him. Luke rises to lean on his elbows, squinting his eyes from the sun, so I move a bit to cover his face. Taking a deep breath, I battle with myself. If I tell him... there is no goi
ng back.

  "Luke, you're a nice guy." I start with a slightly shaky voice. "And hanging out with you has been fun. I really want to be your friend."

  He cocks his head to the side. "But?"

  "There are things I can't tell you without putting you in danger." I drop my gaze, unable to look at his beautiful eyes. Instead, I play with my fingers on his chiseled abs, trailing the ridges with my fingertips.

  "You mean the stories about your family?"

  I nod, only a little, and keep my eyes on his stomach. "I'm not a healthy friend for you, Luke."

  "Is it true?" His dubious voice tells me that he has heard something. I lift my gaze to meet his, letting out a sigh.

  "What've you heard?"

  Luke sits up and leans forward, resting his hands on his knees, looking at the sea. We sit there for a moment in silence, side by side, and the pressure in the air is making me anxious.

  "One dude at the uni." He takes a little rock from the ground and fiddles with it in his hands. "He came and sat with me at the cafeteria yesterday. Right after your brother left."

  "Puma?"

  "Yea. Anyway, the guy started to question me about how I knew Puma, so I told him that I'm dating you." Luke throws the stone in the sea while he pauses, and I don't dare say anything. "You should've seen his face. After he recovered, he asked me if I know who your father is. Long story short, he said that your family is like The Corleone's of Shangri-la."

  Fuck me sideways. I feel like fading back into the darkness where I was when we left, and the unnerving tickle starts to rise from my spine.

  "Do you believe him?" I ask because it's the only thing I could think of. I can't admit it.

  He turns his eyes to me. "Should I believe him?"

  "I think that you can make your own decisions like you've done so far. Believe what you think is true," I say like a real politician.

  Luke takes a deep breath and nods slowly. "Okay. Well... fuck this. You're just Cobra and I'm just Luke, right? Wanna go for ice cream? It's hot out here."

  I laugh. "Oh jeez, yeah. Fuck this, let's go."