The Secret History of Hatty Ha Ha ... Begins

by S M Mala

  ‘You should be downstairs,’ the woman said firmly. ‘It’s not safe.’

  ‘I need to see Murray.’

  ‘He’s sedated at the moment, to get him through the storm and he’s not allowed any visitors,’ she said. ‘Are you alright?’

  ‘I have to see him,’ begged Hatty tearfully. ‘He’s the only one who can help me and I’m scared so scared. I’m his adopted daughter and-’

  ‘I’m sorry, you can’t,’ said the woman sympathetically. ‘You need to go downstairs and-.’

  ‘Let me stay with him. I need him. I can’t go anywhere,’ Hatty said, grabbing the woman’s hand. ‘I don’t know who to turn to. I’m not a bad person, I’m really not.’

  ‘Come back first thing when the storm’s over but go downstairs. I’ll tell him you came.’

  She went into the room and shut the door.

  Hatty tried to push it but it was locked.

  Then she turned and ran back to her room, going to the bathroom to throw up. All the while she heard the screaming of the wind and the sea outside. Hatty fiercely brushed her teeth and washed her face, ashamed to look at her own reflection. She sat on the bed, shocked about what had happened and cried for what seemed like ages. Every time she tried to stop, she couldn’t. All she wished for was to stop breathing then and there, to obliterate the pain in her chest. Then she noticed a figure standing by the door.

  It was Delores.

  ‘Aunt!’ she said, running towards her, flinging her arms around her. ‘There’s been a mistake!’

  Hatty smelt alcohol from the clothing and looked up to see she was very drunk.

  ‘What happened?’ she said, balancing herself against the door frame.

  ‘Jake!’ wailed Hatty. ‘He doesn’t want to be with me. His mother-.’ The sobs were too loud for her to control as she caught her breath. ‘His mother said in her suicide note if I hadn’t been born then everything would have been better. She asked Jake not to get involved with me and-.’

  ‘She’s right,’ said Delores, walking into the room as Hatty stood there double blinking. ‘If you’d have died everything would have been fine. You don’t know how much you being alive caused problems for everyone.’ Hatty couldn’t speak as she saw Delores turn to look at her. ‘You took his love away for me. You took it all Hatty!’

  ‘You’re drunk,’ said Hatty gently, trying to touch her aunt, who rebuffed her.

  ‘When I brought you back to the island, I thought everything would be fine. We’d live together as a family. Then Murray told me he wanted you in his house but not me. Within days of being here, he didn’t care about me, all he wanted was you.

  ‘I looked after you for nine years and I thought he loved me but he didn’t! No! As long as you were happy that’s all that mattered, not me, never me!’ screamed Delores. ‘We had a quarrel that night and I realised…’ She started to sob. ‘You were a thorn in my side so when I saw, I couldn’t stop myself.’

  ‘What do you mean?’ Hatty stopped crying and walked closer. ‘Stop what?’

  ‘A little push, that’s all it took and you fell like a rag doll into the sea. Then I panicked and called Murray.’ Delores started to cry.

  ‘You pushed me?’ she asked and Hatty’s head was now spinning. ‘You didn’t want me?’

  ‘I wanted you dead Hatty, I’m sorry but I wanted you dead! And every day I have had to live with the fear of you finding out. Then a few months ago you said you didn’t jump, I thought you knew.’

  ‘You tried to kill me?’ Hatty couldn’t believe what she was hearing. ‘No, you’re drunk and-.’

  ‘I wanted you dead and every day since then I‘ve hated you more and more, when I realised he started to love me less.’

  ‘You’re confused,’ Hatty said gently, frozen to the spot. ‘You’re tired and-.’

  ‘I wished you’d died but when they found you, he needed me because you were so ill. We became close again because he needed me. Can’t you see Hatty? There’s no place for you in the world.’

  ‘Here’s my place,’ she said, shaking so violently at another emotional blow.

  ‘Murray loves you because of your mother, not you Hatty, never you. He, like me, was obligated to look after you. Jake! He doesn’t love you.’

  ‘He asked me to marry him,’ Hatty sobbed as she noticed the pain on Delores’s face. ‘Before Caroline told him about his mother, we were going to get married. He gave me this.’ Hatty held up the necklace as Delores looked angry.

  ‘Where did you get that?’ she snapped.

  ‘Jake gave it to me. Murray had it. It was my mother’s and-.’

  ‘Can’t you see you stupid girl? Jake was only giving you something that was meant to be yours! He doesn’t love you. If he did he’d fight for you not take the words of a depressed suicidal woman!’

  ‘He loves me!’

  ‘So much so he tried to kiss me today?’ Delores said, shaking her head from side to side. ‘He’s like his father, he likes the dark meat but come the end of the day, he’ll only settle for white!’

  ‘That’s not true,’ Hatty said wanting to leave the room, hating what was coming out of Delores’s mouth.

  ‘You should have died! I hate you Hatty Harris with all my heart! You’re the one making Murray sick, you’re the one causing so much pain for him!’ Delores fell to the floor and sobbed as Hatty couldn’t cry. ‘I hate you Hatty, god forgive me but I hate you!’

  She was stunned and turned to walk out, holding her breath then she saw Caroline looking at her in utter shock before the building started to shake fiercely.

  ‘Are you happy now?’ Hatty said, tears falling down her face. ‘Nobody wants me, nobody!’

  Thirty three

  His head was throbbing as he sat in the corner crying. It was too much to take in. He’d just broken with Hatty but his heart was in pieces. One minute they were making love, the next he was telling her if was over.

  He wasn’t sure if he’d done the right thing.

  Clasping the letter in his hand, he read it again and again. The noise was getting louder then suddenly all the lights went out for a few seconds. Shrill screams came from below and on the ground floor before the generator lights came on, but they were so low.

  Jake couldn’t breathe as he wanted to ask his father about the letter, why he never told him and did he intend to soil his mother’s wishes. He sobbed harder into his hands as he was worried about Hatty, the storm creating a massive thundering sound like a train, the building shaking and he knew she’d be scared.

  ‘Hatty,’ he cried quietly.

  It was as if she was in a daze, walking through a tunnel. She stood in the stairwell, all alone and braced herself up against the wall as she heard the massive banging around her.

  But she wasn’t scared. No one was about. She worried for a moment about Barney then remembered he was with Murray. Hatty dragged her feet along the corridor and went to the kitchen, to hide in the store cupboard.

  ‘What ya doin’ ere?’ snapped a voice.

  It was Gina cowering in the corner.

  ‘I-I don’t know.’

  ‘Ya gone mad?’ snapped Gina, standing up then falling back as the massive thunder vibrated the building.

  ‘My aunt just told me something,’ Hatty said, starting to cry. ‘She said-.’

  ‘Me not care!’ shouted Gina. ‘Get out of dis place. Take ya nonsense somewhere else.’

  ‘She said she pushed me when I was a child into the water because she wanted me to die.’

  ‘Good!’ came Gina’s reply and she noticed the harsh expression on her face. Hatty smiled, knowing she was talking to the wrong person. ‘Ya mad! What ya smile at me for? Me wish ya dead a hundred time over!’

  ‘I was going to marry Jake,’ Hatty said with a smile as tears came rolling down. ‘But he found out today that his mother named me in her suicide note, saying he should keep away from me. He told me to promise never to see him again.’

  ‘Marry you?’ said Gina aghast a
nd she saw the anger in the woman’s eyes.

  ‘Not now though,’ she said, her face wet with tears. ‘He doesn’t want me.’

  ‘Ya get everytin’ don’t ya? Ya little spoilt bitch!’ snarled Gina. ‘And what me get? Nuttin! Why Jake want ya?’

  ‘He doesn’t,’ she sobbed loudly, the full extent of what he said hitting hard.

  ‘Me tink it ya fault Murray Logan ill!’ snapped Gina, walking up to Hatty and circling her. ‘Ya should leave for good.’

  ‘This is my home,’ Hatty said and shook her head.

  ‘Dey don’t want ya, no one want ya, no one love ya Hatty, not really. Murray love de idea of ya moder, Delores love Murray, and Jake not love ya dat much if ‘e cast ya aside. What else ya ‘ave? Nuttin.’ Hatty stood there then realised Gina was holding her arm as she felt herself being dragged. ‘Go Hatty. Go back to da sea an’ make everyone happy! Ya killed Simon! Me love Simon an’ ‘e say ‘e don’t want me in his bed, he love you an’ me was angry! I loved ‘im!’ the woman screamed. ‘And Jake! Ya took ‘im from me, offerin’ yaself up. Ya don’t deserve him an’ me self shall ‘ave ‘im! ‘e forget about ya soon. Now ya ‘ave to suffer Hatty, ya ‘ave to suffer!

  ‘What?’ she screamed. ‘You can’t have him! He’s mine! Jake’s mine!’

  ‘He not want ya!’ Gina barked back. ‘Go Hatty! Make everyone ‘appy, if ya really care.’

  She looked at the emergency exit door and realised, for once, Gina was right. Then she heard Delores screaming in the background and shouting. Caroline’s voice could be heard and then the door opened.

  ‘What’s wrong? ‘Philip said, shining a torch at Jake. ‘Me been lookin’ for you and Hatty.’

  ‘We’ve had a fight,’ he said faintly.

  ‘Ya quarrel? Where she?’

  ‘I told her I didn’t want to be with her anymore,’ he cried quietly.

  ‘What ya talkin’ about?’ said Philip, shaking his head. ‘Ya been drinkin’.’

  ‘My mother said, my mother…’ He handed the letter to Philip to read. ‘It’s her dying wish.’

  ‘She blame a child? A baby?’ said Philip reading it. Jake heard his erratic breathing. ‘Who gave you this?’’

  ‘My aunt.’

  ‘And you take it as right?’ snapped Philip angrily. ‘You suddenly cast Hatty aside when we all know your mother wasn’t right in the head.’

  ‘What do you mean?’ shouted Jake. ‘She was-.’

  ‘Where is Hatty, Jacob?’

  The sound was deafening. She couldn’t walk as her body hit the ground. Her eyes were closed and the wind slammed the door shut as it took her away, throwing her into cars. She eventually fell.

  The sky was pitch black but she could see things flying as she crawled along the ground, the water two inches deep flooding around her. She couldn’t scream. She was stuck outside. Just as she decided to run back, she then realised she had nothing to run back to. The only way was down back to her home where she was certain she’d be safe.

  ‘Where Hatty?’ asked Ethel anxiously, wrapped in a blanket. ‘Me not see ‘er. Jacob where she left?’

  ‘In the swimming pool,’ he said, seeing all the people huddled together as he searched to see if she was there.

  ‘Hidin’, she be hidin’ away,’ said Ethel and her daughter came and put an arm around her. ‘In Murray room. Check in Murray room.’

  Jake ran up the stairs and tried to open to door before he knocked. The nurse opened it.

  ‘Have you seen Hatty? This small,’ he said, holding out his hand. ‘A long plait and-.’

  ‘She was here half an hour ago,’ the nurse said. ‘She seemed very upset but I told her to go as your father’s sleeping.’

  ‘She’s not here?’

  ‘A woman, I believe your father’s partner, told me not to let her into the room.’

  ‘What?’ he said, panicking and instantly getting angry at Delores.

  ‘But there was screaming and shouting down the corridor. I don’t know what that was about. Go and check because the building was shaking. I was too scared to leave the room plus that poor girl looked so upset, crying uncontrollably. She said she wasn’t a bad person.’ Jake stood still for a moment and stared at the woman’s concerned face. ‘She was in a terrible state.’

  He ran round the floor, pushing open doors where he could.

  ‘Hatty! Hatty!’ he screamed. ‘You have to come downstairs!’

  A few times she’d been hit by passing debris but Hatty managed to find herself in the greenery, knowing the plants around her could take the wind. Her eyes were closed and she daren’t look out at the sea, who was angrily screaming at her. She held onto her satchel and rolled herself down as she couldn’t stand up.

  The rain was pelting her body fiercely and she didn’t know how long she’d been going down, until she got to the side of a road and nearly fell off it. Hatty didn’t know where she was as something hit her side. She realised she needed to find shelter, but the wind was strong and she couldn’t move. Her clothes were being ripped and all she could do was shuffle down the side of the road and curl up into a ball. The sound around her got louder and louder. She screamed out knowing no one could hear her.

  Philip’s face was like thunder as Jake saw Frederick try and touch his son. They were in a small room in the basement, out of the way from people hearing.

  ‘She was very upset so I left her,’ Frederick said gently as Philip slapped his father’s hand away again.

  ‘So you called her a liar!’ shouted Philip.

  ‘She was upset and making it up,’ said Jake, inwardly panicking about Hatty.

  ‘Who said!’ barked Philip. ‘Did you ask your father?’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Tell him the truth! Tell the man the truth about his dad and Hatty’s father. Give him that knowledge how he’s let her down.’

  ‘That’s unfair Philip,’ said Frederick, starting to get angry.

  ‘And you? How could you lie when she needed your help?’ gulped Philip, starting to get upset. ‘She loves Jake and she wanted to show why his mother is wrong!’

  ‘My mother’s not wrong!’ said Jake sharply. ‘She has a point.’

  ‘She has no point! She was depressed. She tried to kill herself before you were born and Murray had to endure this. Tell him daddy, tell him how wonderful his mother was!’ Philip turned and slammed his hands angrily against the wall.

  ‘It’s not for me to say,’ Frederick gently replied.

  ‘Was Hatty telling the truth about my father killing Carlos?’ Jake said quietly and stepped closer to the older man, only to see Philip’s very black eyes staring hard at them.

  ‘Yes.’

  Her body hurt and the sound was so loud in her ears, she felt like something was exploding. Hatty couldn’t move as the force of the wind was pinning her down to the ground and unable to see it, made it more frightening. She thought if she fell asleep, she’d wake up but her brain was being bashed by the sound. And she could hear the growl of the sea in the background.

  Without realising she was being move slowly down towards the shore.

  ‘Where’s Miss Hatty?’ Bennett said, walking up to Philip. ‘Where’s Barney?’

  ‘He’s with Mister Murray,’ said Philip as Jake stood there stunned.

  As much as he tried to move, he couldn’t. The heat was stifling as all the air conditioners had gone out. He looked around the room to see people with cuts and wounds. The manager and staff were trying their best but he saw the fear etched on their faces. His first reaction was to see his father but he knew he'd be safe.

  ‘No one’s seen her,’ said Philip and Jake could see he was trying to figure out where she’d gone. Jake smelt his hands and he could smell her scent as he started to cry. ‘Leave ya tears for later when we find her, okay?’

  Philip’s voice was harsh and Jake knew he was angry.

  ‘I’ll look again.’

  ‘Let’s go together.’

  They ran
up the stairs to the ground floor and Jake heard sobbing. By the entrance to the kitchen doors there were two bodies, laying either side.

  ‘Hatty?’ he screamed, running forward as the building started to shake.

  Both Philip and he held firm as everything vibrated around them.

  ‘Jake!’ he heard someone call, seeing his aunt collapsed by the side of the wall.

  ‘Jacob!’ shouted Philip. ‘Ya find her?’

  ‘My head hurts,’ said Caroline and he could see some falling masonry had cut her.

  ‘Did you see Hatty?’ Jake asked and his aunt just started to cry. ‘What’s wrong?’

  ‘That poor child,’ she sobbed. ‘What have I done?’

  ‘Jake!’ shouted Philip. ‘Delores is here.’

  He turned to see Delores passed out on the floor. Philip was trying to slap her face but she was out cold.

  ‘I’ll take Delores. You get your aunt and go to the basement. The plaster’s starting to fall,’ said Philip and then looked at the opened door, being wedge by Delores’s foot.

  Jake heard sobs.

  ‘Hatty?’ he said, leaving his aunt immediately and going into the kitchen.

  Jake looked closely and Gina was sitting by the side crying.

  ‘Gina ya all right?’ Philip said, walking behind him. Another shudder made utensils fall off the side. ‘Ya shouldn’t be here.’

  ‘Me scare,’ she sobbed and when she looked up, there was no mistaking it, she seem afraid on seeing the pair of them.

  The woman shook violently and put her head in her hands.

  ‘Have you seen Hatty?’ Philip asked and walked slowly towards her. ‘We can’t find her.’

  ‘Why ask me?’ barked Gina, gulping hard.

  ‘Have you seen her?’ said Jake.

  ‘Is it true you an’ she to marry?’ she said, wiping her tears away.

  ‘Yes,’ Jake said, clearing his throat and not knowing what to say.

  ‘Ya love her?’

  ‘Yes,’ he quietly said, as he saw the snarl on Philip’s face. ‘I love her very much and I need to find her.’

  ‘Ya not want her anymore?’ she teased. ‘Ya ask her not to see you again?’