by S. E. Law
We’ve been one another’s rock.
But to be perfectly honest, I might be more of the rock than Mamie on occasion. Her life can get a little messy at times.
She’s a sweetheart, she truly is, but Mamie has this habit of getting into not-so-ideal situations with boys. She’s pretty and blonde and likable. Men are drawn to her, always wanting to go on dates with her, but Mamie can be naïve and oftentimes finds herself calling me, crying about this guy or the next. And I’m always available to listen because usually I’m at home, not with a guy, but with whatever latest novel has caught my attention.
I also like hearing her tales. She’s great at regaling me with her exploits.
Tonight sounds like it might be one of those typical Mamie boy problems.
“What happened, Mamie? Tell me. I’m sure everything will be okay.”
“No, it won’t,” she wails. “I’m going to get pregnant and die, and then my baby won’t have anyone except for this idiot!”
“What are you talking about?” She’s ranting at this point, probably having more of a conversation with herself than with me, which often happens on the phone. Sometimes, if I just let it happen, Mamie figures out her problems all on her own.
“I’ve been hooking up with this super hot guy, Coby. He’s really nice and stuff, but I don’t want to have his kids. But we didn’t use protection tonight. I guess we were just so caught up in the moment, but now I’m so screwed! I shouldn’t have let him come inside me. I’m supposed to be more careful than this.”
“Okay, Mamie. I’m going to need you to take a very deep breath.” I know Mamie is a lot smarter than this, but when it comes to men, it’s like she loses all reason, and the world is literally ending every time something bad happens. “Breath in and breath out.”
“I can do that, I can do that,” she says. I hear her gulping in the air, maybe taking my advice a step too far, but soon, her breathing evens out. There’s still the occasional catch – I’m guessing from the falling tears – but she isn’t wailing into my ear any more. With her heartrate down, she’s going to be a lot more reasonable.
“Okay, Mamie. I promise you this isn’t the end of the world. You’re not going to have this man’s baby unless you want to have this man’s baby. And from the way you sound, you don’t want to have this man’s baby.”
“I don’t want to have his baby,” Mamie whines.
“Okay then. So what you’re going to do is find a 24-hour pharmacy; I know there’s one right by where you live. You’re going to get some over-the-counter plan B, and you’re going to take it.”
“I’m going to…” Mamie starts, but she trails off like she’s zoning out.
“Mamie! Listen to me. Go to the drugstore on the corner and get some plan B. Take it immediately.” I have Mamie repeat what I just said back to me so that I can make sure she has internalized it. While she does that, I start to think about what just transpired a couple of hours ago and realize that Brick didn’t use a condom either. The thought never even crossed my mind because I was so surprised that we were about to have sex, I could only focus on getting his cock inside of me. My mind could only follow that one track. I’ve never been so singularly focused like that before.
But my mind’s a little clearer now, and I’m starting to realize some things.
Shit! This means I could be getting pregnant with his baby right now. I don’t even know this man’s middle name, and I’ve already got his seed swimming inside of me, potentially fertilizing.
Goddammit!
I need to keep this information inside of me because Mamie is definitely not equipped to help me out right now. She’s still crying about this dude named Coby.
“Okay, Tammy. I can go outside and do this. I’m sorry I’m such a mess. I know I shouldn’t be.”
“Don’t apologize. Something like that would freak anyone out.” It’s freaking me out right now. My voice may be even, but my mind and my heart are both a complete mess.
“You say that to me all of the time – ‘don’t apologize’ – but I really need to learn how to remain calm. I can’t always run to you with every single problem I have. I need to be the fucking grown woman that I am. Rely on myself a little bit more.”
“I’ll always be here for you, you know that.”
“I do. Which is why I appreciate you so fucking much, Tammy Thompson. Now, I’m going to go do what you told me to do. I’ll let you know how it all works out. Thank you for waking up in the middle of the night to comfort me. I promise to buy you a cake or some other dessert when I see you again.”
“I would love that. And yes, go take care of yourself. Go forth and don’t have that man’s baby.” Mamie laughs and then says goodbye before hanging up. I let out a quiet yet distressed sound once the call goes dead.
Goddammit. I’m in the same exact spot as Mamie. Brick fucking came inside of me. I felt his hot cum coating my insides and dripping down my leg.
Get it together, Tammy! Now is not the time to be thinking about that! What I need to do is solve this problem I have basically created for myself.
I’ve just got to go do what I told Mamie to do. Get some plan B, take the pills, and move forward like this mini-panic never even happened. It’s not like Brick needs to know about this. After all, I’m not even sure he would care.
It’s not like he’s my boyfriend or anything.
Stop it, Tammy. You don’t care about that. What you need to be focusing on is going to the 24-hour drugstore and getting that plan B.
I’d already changed into my pajamas, so I have to get some new clothes out. I grab sweatpants and a tee. I don’t need to dress up for the midnight pharmacist. I’m sure however I arrive, they’ll be nice enough.
I grab my keys and quietly sneak downstairs. I’ve never been so deceptive with my parents, sneaking in and out of the house at all hours, but there is no way in hell I’m about to explain everything that’s happened tonight to them.
I get into my car and drive fifteen minutes to the drugstore. It’s one of the few 24-hour businesses in Merryton. I’m extremely thankful for it.
I rush into the drugstore and start looking for the plan B. My eyes scan the shelves, stopping when I find the right box. I walk over to the counter. The pharmacist looks a little sleepy, but I don’t blame her. If I had to work the graveyard shift at a drugstore, I might try and get some shut eye every now and then too.
I walk over to her, softly placing the plan B on the counter. She looks down at it, her gaze uninterested.
“Is this your first time taking plan B?”
“Yeah,” I nod.
“Okay, then you shouldn’t have any problems. I’m sure you know you need to take it as soon as possible. With every passing day, it becomes less and less effective. You should take the first pill 72 hours after having unprotected sex. If you take it past that time frame, there’s a very high chance it will not work, and we do not recommend doing so. Plan B is an emergency contraceptive and should not be used as birth control. After you take the first pill, wait 12 hours to take the second. Do you have any questions?”
I shake my head.
“Great. How are you paying today?” I take out my credit card, and the pharmacist rings up my purchase. I thank her before leaving. It was awkward, but it definitely could have been a lot worse. She also wasn’t rude to me, just direct. She gave me all of the necessary information, so I know exactly what to do.
I go back to my car and drive myself home. I can’t imagine taking these pills in the parking lot of a 24-hour drugstore. That just feels a little too sad for my life. Instead, I’m going to go home, get myself a nice glass of juice, and chastise myself for getting into this situation in the first place.
After pulling my car into the driveway, I sneak back upstairs, grabbing a bottle of apple juice from the fridge on my way to my room. I take the plan B out of the bag, holding the box in my hand. Turning it over, I read the instructions on the box. I wasn’t lying when I said I’d never take
n plan B. Maybe I should have asked a couple of questions before rushing out of the store. I just felt so embarrassed, which was stupid. It’s not like I did anything wrong. I’m just in a tight spot.
Okay, now I’m stalling. I read the instructions, and they seem pretty simple. I’ve got my juice, but it says I should eat something right after taking the pills. Thankfully, I’ve got some granola bars in my nightstand, so that should be good enough.
I rip open the box, taking out the small white pills. There are two of them. It said to take one first, and then the second one twelve hours later. The same exact instructions the pharmacist gave me.
I literally have the pills in my hand, but for whatever reason, I’m not actually taking one. It should be so easy. I’ll just pop it in my mouth, swallow it with a gulp of juice, and then eat my granola bars.
Why is this so hard? Why can’t I take them?
“What’s going on? I don’t want to be pregnant, right? Not with Brick Barrister’s child.”
All I can think about is how good it felt to have Brick come inside of me, to have his cum on my thighs, making me all sticky. To have his seed inside of me.
Jesus Christ! What the fuck am I saying? I’ve never even thought about something like this, not so explicitly. Not even my last boyfriend got me this fired up, but Brick Barrister has my head spinning, causing me to question all of the choices I’m making.
“I can’t do this.” I put the pills back in the box and hide them in my nightstand. I can’t make this choice right now. My mind might be clearer than it was an hour ago, but it’s still all fogged up. I need to talk to Brick before I do anything. Making all of these choices by myself would give me more anxiety than I want to deal with. Brick needs to take responsibility for his part in this mess. Yes, I’m the one who started this crazy saga, but it’s not like he’s totally innocent. He’s the one who escalated things and then thought it would be a great idea to have sex.
“Fucking Brick Barrister.”
That’s it, I’m going to go talk to him. It’s the right thing to do. Maybe he’ll have some ideas, or maybe he’ll… I don’t know. Maybe he’ll have a new perspective I wouldn’t be able to come up with myself. I’m not going to get my hopes up – that way, whatever happens, I won’t be too upset with the ending.
Whew, I am tired. So much has happened in a single day. I need to get some sleep, so I take off my outside clothes and put on my PJs from before. I curl up under the covers and will myself to sleep, setting aside all of my problems for another day.
I’m at work, organizing the new arrivals for Abigail. This is usually one of my favorite things to do because it means being in the back without having to deal with my boss. I also get to interact with the new flowers, setting them up to thrive until they can be taken home with their new owners.
It’s like meditation to me and is even slightly therapeutic.
But ever since Saturday, my mind has been reeling. I waffled between simply calling Brick and just totally blocking his number all day Sunday. In the end, I didn’t call him, but I didn’t block him either. I ended up doing nothing.
I decided that the best course of action was to talk to him in person. I don’t know where he lives, so I had to wait until Monday, which is today. But I also have to work. There have been so many roadblocks, but that’s not going to deter me from my goal. I’ve been moving through this day, waiting until the moment I can clock out and confront this man.
Arranging all of these flowers is giving me some peace of mind, but I’m still totally fixated on Brick. I can’t get him out of my mind. His scent is still sticking to my skin, or at least it feels like it is.
“Tammy!” I jump a bit when my name is called, the roses in my hand getting jostled. They haven’t been dethorned yet, so they cut my palm a little.
“Shit!” I whisper. I put the flower down and watch the little specks of blood coming out of my open skin. They’ll clot pretty quickly because they’re such tiny cuts, but that doesn’t make it any less annoying. If Abigail could have waited two minutes, I wouldn’t have had the stems in my hand. But how could she have known? She’s just generally annoying, I guess.
“Tammy!” Abigail yells again. I shake myself out of my head and go out to the front. When I get there, my boss is standing next to a pile of dirt and a broken vase. “You left this vase way too close to the edge. I walked in here and almost immediately bumped into it. How am I supposed to get anything done if my assistant can’t even organize my shop in a way that allows for me to have maximum efficiency?”
I look down at the ground, holding in all of my emotions. The reason the vase was there was because that is where Abigail asked me to put it. I thought it was a dumb location at the time because it’s a table that customers often bump into. The vase also didn’t make sense with the overall aesthetic of that table.
But I’d kept my mouth shut because whatever Abigail says, goes. I learned that very early on when I started working here.
I also learned that if she makes a mistake, I will somehow get blamed for it, and it’s best to shoulder that blame and keeps things moving.
“I’m sorry, Abigail. I’ll clean this all up.”
“Good, and make sure you don’t make this kind of mistake ever again.” She makes a huffy sound before going upstairs to do whatever she does there. Sighing to myself, I get the trash can and broom. I start by picking up all of the big pieces of glass before sweeping up anything I can’t easily pick up with my hands.
Oh, I can’t wait until I can quit this job. That audition tape was supposed to be my ticket out, but now, I have another whole host of problems on top of working at Greener Thumb. I guess I could still try to make the tape, but I don’t know where I’ll find the time at this point.
“You’re such an idiot, Tammy,” I say to myself. It doesn’t take very long for me to finish cleaning up the huge mess that Abigail made. Thankfully, she stays away until I am finished. I know I still have to finish up in the back, so I call up to her.
“Abigail! I’m going back into the storage room to finish with the new flowers.”
“Yeah, whatever. Just make sure it gets done before the end of the day. I don’t want to have to scrap anything because you didn’t do your job properly.”
“No problem. I’ll get it done.” She’s always saying things like that to me, even though I’ve never let my work go unfinished. I know it really has nothing to do with me; it has everything to do with her being an unreasonable employer and having this overbearing need for control. But whatever. I’ll just keep my head down and do my job. The path of least resistance is always the easiest one around here.
Plus, I have Brick to worry about now. I’d like to go home before heading over to see him, but there’s a high chance he’ll be out of the office before I arrive if I do. I’m just going to go directly to the studio after work. I don’t want to be extra frazzled because I had a had day at work.
There’s no need to put this off any longer than I already have. I need to get this out of the way. It’s driving me crazy not knowing what’s happening or what’s going to happen.
I’m ready to know where Brick and I stand, even if it’s a position that I’m not the biggest fan of. Because not knowing is driving me absolutely crazy.
10
Brick
“I’m so sorry, Brick. I thought I had rendered everything overnight and set it to automatically save, but I don’t know what happened. I came back, and all of the work we've been doing was gone. Only the raw footage is left on the computer. I have no idea where it went.”
I’m keeping all of my anger inside because blowing up at George won’t change the fact that we have this massive issue. He came to my office this morning with some really bad news. Whenever George comes to me with bad news lately, it’s always a guaranteed way to fuck up my day. He used to come to me with solutions to problems that had manifested under him. Now, he only has problems that cause me more problems. It’s a pattern that I am not a fan
of.
“Are you sure it all got deleted? There wasn’t a temporary file or something? A restore point on the computer maybe? It didn’t automatically back up to another machine? It’s just gone?”
“I asked Tyler to look at it, and he couldn’t find anything either. I really didn’t want to come to you with this, but since it means starting all over, I knew I had to let you know about the setback as soon as possible. I understand if you’re mad with me since it’s going to take the team another couple of weeks to re-edit everything.”
“No, George. I wouldn’t say I’m mad at you, more like I’m mad with the situation. We all make mistakes. Things happen.” That’s a half-lie because I’m also mad at George. I’m actually pretty fucking livid with George. I know how the software my company uses works. The problem he’s having is totally avoidable, but George hasn’t been picking up on how to use the new tech we’ve introduced. It’s like there’s some kind of block in his brain that prevents him from absorbing anything we tell him.
I don’t understand why he isn’t learning. We’ve given him countless hours of training and numerous chances. There are times when I have personally gone down to the editing bay and gone over certain functions with him, and that is way outside of what my duties are, but I wanted him to understand that we are trying to help him. But George never seems to change. The problem is I can’t fire him now. I’ve dug myself into a hole with this one.
“Look, just re-do the project, and the second time around, make sure you double-check everything with Tyler to make sure we don’t go through this again. Okay?”