The Undergrad

by Mela NoLeuca

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  Ethan's POV

  Grunting, I staggered back. I've earned myself a fresh batch of bruises that didn't heal. It was a morbid indicator that ERA managed to shut down the bots in my body, and I didn't like it.

  Heaving heavily, I could feel my lungs searing in pain, their growing fatigue left a hint of a metallic taste in my mouth. I shoved all those aside and charged for the door--Bang!

  The moment my right rammed against the cushioned door, I slowly slid down in failure. My body was aching, my head felt dull and all my senses were compromised.

  What the hell were they going to do with Robyn? Our last conversation before I was thrown here almost turned into a bloodbath when I managed to break lose from their restraints. It’s amazing when nanobots mix with hormones, they can only do you so many wonders.

  Gingerly prying myself off the wall, I assessed for any broken ribs. Thank goodness, there was none so far. I don't know how long it had been since they threw me in this hellhole. It was too quiet, too white and everything was too soft that it made me cringe at this room's emptiness. I was like in those white rooms they trapped severe psychotics in the mental hospital. I was definitely not psychotic, but I'm afraid I eventually would be if I stayed here longer.

  Because of the many downfalls to my initial plan, which was break out and kill anyone on sight, I gave it up and allowed myself to rest for a while. I raised my hand and observed patches of green and blue. Did they really shut down my NIES, or were they just slowly starting up after I have been tasered off? I shook my head.

  Labeling Emily Green as an enemy took some time getting used to.

  Proven that I am officially weak and useless for now, I'm just hoping for some miracle to happen. I do have a good chance with it since my brother, Ares, managed to escape. All thanks to Robyn on that one.

  Speaking of which, what could they be doing to her? What were they even planning with her? The Colonel ignored my questions back then, Emily brought that up against me just to distract me as they knocked me down once more. The next thing I know, here I am.

  If you're thinking that my weakness right now is Robyn, then you're wrong!

  The door budged, quickly, I rolled to the side. This was my chance to attempt an escape. The tiny sliding window it had opened, "Hey, I have company here, don't try doing any funky business," said a gruff voice, "any attempts of escape will only be futile,"

  I kept still, waiting ever so slowly as he undid the security locks. The door groaned as he pushed it open, I instantly made a move to sweep the feet of the first person that came into view off the ground. He fell and quickly I tackled the body.

  Only to stop when the door shut tight again. Confused I looked back down, why would they want to leave their comrade stuck with me? I was just going to kill him off. It wasn't like that was going to help me calm down. The more ERA began showing more of its bad side, the more they disgusted me.

  But it wasn't their comrade I was straddling on. Right beneath me was a body of a woman with a bag that covered her head. Long locks of blonde spilled past the fabric and my heart sank deep into my stomach. With two fingers, I plucked her thumb, raised her whole arm high and then let go. Oh my God, was she dead?

  To put an end to my curiosity, I yanked the cloth over her head and my breath caught in my throat. Her usually vibrant facade now lay dull and pale before me. Her chapped lips signified dehydration and the dark circles surrounding her eyes meant fatigue. What have they done to her?

  "Robyn?" I asked in mild disbelief. Listening in for a beat, I pressed my ear against her chest, there was none for a minute. I closed my eyes and focused my all into that one ear and then...Ba dump. She's alive! The softest of all beats was enough to give me the satisfaction that she was still alive.

  I pulled her into a tight hug, feeling as if a thorn had been plucked off my chest. "Thank God you're okay,"

  She mumbled something against my shoulder. Brilliant! She was also awake; I pulled her away, grasping her shoulders as I intently watched her slowly rouse. I saw her lips move but no words came out.

  "What?" I said, releasing the air that I didn't notice I've been holding in.

  "Stay away from me," said her quiet voice.

  I looked down and noticed at the very unorthodox position we were. Of course we were still in patient gowns with nothing else on, that was probably the reason why she wanted me to stay away. Without another word I rose quickly to my feet.

  Clearing my throat, I quickly recomposed myself as the Ethan she was accustomed to. But I was just too relieved to see her. I already lost so much; I came to realize that I wasn't ready to lose another one any more. So what does that make this woman? Who is she to me?

  Robyn feebly pushed herself to the side, her actions told me that she wanted to sit upright with the wall to support her back. I guess it was better that way instead of her sprawling awkwardly supine like a ragdoll at my feet. I bent down to wordlessly help her--

  "Don't touch me," she said quietly.

  Her words, sharper than a dagger, embedded painfully into my comprehension. I recoiled and watched her progress until she managed to shuffle her way around her wanted result. Sitting a reasonable distance away from her, I watched her carefully. She was so weak; she moved too carefully and most of all seemed drugged.

  "Robyn," I began, "what did they do to you?"

  My chest crumpled in pain when she shot an icy glare at me as it slowly crumbled away to a tearful, sad look. Biting her lip, she stifled a sob, quickly averting her eyes from me. I watched her shoulders shake violently as hiccoughed more and more loud sobs escaping her frail frame.

  They broke her.

  My stomach churned in sadness, luring tears to gather in my eyes. I fought them back; this wasn't the time to cry for her. It would be stupid and pathetic to have a full-grown man cry with her. I'm not gay.

  Quickly looking over her body, I searched for signs of battery or torture. There weren't any. Helplessly, I asked, "What did they do to you?"

  She fell quiet.

  Maybe she was contemplating with what to say or where to start. Seconds stretched to what seemed like minutes before I quietly spoke again, "Robyn?"

  Her shoulders suddenly began shaking.

  "Robyn?" I slowly reached out for her.

  I couldn't exactly see her face with that thick blonde curtain hiding her from me. But I could clearly see she was definitely shaking. Before I managed to plant my hand on her shoulder, she broke out into a fitful of laughter.

  Why was she laughing? She whipped her head towards me and began another wave of laughter, but not one of her eyes showed the humor in it. She was suddenly crawling towards me, laughing madly that it was starting to creep out.

  "Robyn?" I felt so stupid because that suddenly became the only thing I learned to say. I was backing away slowly from her now given that we were only a few inches apart, "what have they done to you?"

  She laughed more hysterically than the last and still kept going towards me. I stumbled to my feet and saw her crawling form drag itself across the white cushioned floor. The wall met my back, all I could do know was watch the insanity take over her.

  She was grabbing my legs now as she pulled herself up, her laughter slowly muted as she slowly stood steadily before me. I wasn't sure now if I was scared or hurt because of what ERA did to her. But hell, she reminded me of a blonde Sudoku—was it?—from the Japanese horror movie, The Ring.

  She was watching me curiously now with a humorless smile that slowly faded into curiosity.

  Then that's where I concluded. They broke her, mentally tortured her and then sent her to me so that I would break too. They took away the most amazing girl I've ever met who taught me so much in a span of a few weeks only to return this empty girl that I once knew as Robyn.

  I watched her as strongly as I could. But with a broken soul boring into my eyes like that was too much. I've seen so many lives lost, but never this way. I've seen my loved ones die, but never within.

>   I pulled this estranged woman into my chest and hugged her tightly, "I'm sorry,"

  "All of you lied to me," she said quietly, a hint of sanity struck me with a sliver of hope. I hugged her tighter as if it were the only way to keep it from slipping away. I was scared to lose her. I didn’t know why, but if I were given a choice, I’d rather have ERA kill her instead of ruining her mental soundness.

  "I never lied to you, I'm also a victim of this," I said slowly, making sure she digested every word.

  "Ares lied to us," she wailed before she began sobbing again.

  I hushed her, awkwardly stroking her hair before deciding against it. I wasn't accustomed to these kinds of things but I always saw couples do these when the other felt sad. Not that we ever were in the first place, of course. "That's not true, ERA is telling you the things they told me. Lies,"

  She pushed herself away from me with such strength that caught me by surprise, "so you're telling me you know?" A frightening smile propped her surprised face, threatening me again that she might lose it any moment.

  "I don't know anything, but I can confidently say that we can trust Ares!" I quickly added, saying the first things that came across my mind just so that she won't turn.

  "Trust Ares so that he can betray us?" she dramatically threw her hand to the side to emphasize her point, "or trust ERA so that they can betray us? There's only one thing that defines the world where you live in, Ethan,"

  She leaned forward, carefully keeping a baleful stare down before she spat the words out like a vulgar word, "Traitors," 

  Wincing, the words cut me deep. She was right. I quickly retorted, "it already happened Robyn, we can't do much about the past now."

  "So what do you want me to do Ethan?" she spun on her heel with palms wide and supine towards me. "What do you want me to do? Agree to everything they do to me? Accept that I'm a pawn to their game of chess now? Why do you even pretend that you fucking care when all we know is that you're obliged to take care of me since Craw agreed to go ahead and abduct me and then die on you in the end? I'm only stuck with you because of your selfish motherfucking guilt!"

  "That choice has nothing to do with Craw, Robyn," I snapped vehemently, "I plucked you out from that closet, because I didn't want to leave you dead!"

  The surprise that gripped me was tighter than the effect it had on Robyn the moment those words fled my mouth. The answer to my subconscious question filled my thoughts with several more as it dawned on me. With Robyn giving me that face right now, I panicked. I didn't know what to expect, let alone explain why I didn't let her die.

  But of course, Robyn always had ways to get into my nerve, and bringing up that question surely did it.

  "Why?" She asked curiously, "why didn't you just let me die?"

  Here we go with the drama. A month ago, that question would have enraged me. I mean, hello? I saved you because you had no right to die in this mess. But now, those words didn't feel like coming up. I turned away, mentally slamming my head against a wall. That action alone wouldn't change anything much since this was a plain four-walled room.

  "So you had the choice to let me die, but why didn't you just let me?" She asked, her voice cracked.

  I tilted my head back, breathing heavily as I chaffed my face impatiently. Feigning nonchalance, I planted my hands on my hips, "you should just be grateful, okay?"

  "You asshole!" she roared, suddenly she was charging me. Slapping me, scratching me, kicking me, pulling my hair and all those girly attacks I expected. But what I didn't expect was how strong each of her blows were that she eventually tackled me to the ground.

  "Ow!" I yelped as she scratched my neck, "Stop it!" I managed to plant my feet on her stomach then kicked her over my head just to get off me. I quickly got to me feet.

  This woman was crazy! I mean she was crying her eyes out, laughing hysterically the next and now she's tackling me like an enraged monkey, "what the hell's wrong with you, woman?"

  "What the hell is wrong with me?" she gasped, "What the hell is wrong with me?" she let out a strangled shriek before charging at me again.

  Oh crap! Was this a nightmare or something? Because if it was, please wake me up. I would rather see the sweet, gentle hearted Robyn that I knew was in control of herself and dying before me rather than have this crazed woman attacking me like she was infected with rabies! I scrambled up and began running for my life I away from her. Strangely enough, there was only so much space this tiny room could provide for us. I felt a tug at the back of my gown, craning my neck, I peeked over my shoulder and--Fuck, she's gaining on me!

  On instinct, I pivoted on my heel, swept my foot across hers. I grabbed both wrists and as she fell to the ground I pinned them above her head. She was thrashing a bit like a dying fish out of water, I barely managed to straddle her hip again to keep her steady and when I succeeded, she was breathing out steady lines of creative profanities of how she was going to castrate me.

  My mouth fell open in horror as I found myself listening to all these things, "I saved you because I cared about you!" I blurted out in panic.

  She spat on my face, "bullshit!" and then went on cursing my ancestors and so on and so forth. How do you shut a woman up again? Craw, may his soul rest his peace, once told me a trick that always worked on him. I looked back at this screaming woman and then began a thoughtful mental debate. 

  At first I was against it, but seeing how much of an emergency this was. I braced myself and drowned out her words with my tightly pressed lips. When she could still talk around that, I loosened up and enveloped her lips with mine.

  To be honest, kissing Robyn once crossed my mind. But when I thought of it, I knew there would never be the day I could. She was too free and friendly that I thought kissing her would ruin the strong bond we've created over the last weeks. I thought that if I did, it would bring forth several days of awkwardness because I did something so reckless and selfish.

  A strange pulse reverberated through my every being that reminded me of the force of a bomb from a distance. Only the aftershock of this one brought about light-headedness. I felt the wave of euphoria spill through every core of my being that for a moment I thought I could melt right now in all its goodness. Slowly, as I reluctantly pulled away, I carefully observed the woman right before me.

  With her hair wildly framing her now flushed face, the way her blue eyes opened widely made me feel nothing more but shame. Her lips that parted, though, coaxed me for one last kiss but berated myself heavily as I dragged myself off her.

  I only kissed her to shut her up. I repeated that line over and over like the monks would their mantras.

  Unfortunately, the sudden realization dawned on me slowly like the setting sun. What had I done? She was giving me that look that could possibly bring an end to my life. By that simple action alone, I felt so raw from the inside out the moment the realization raked itself painstakingly into my head.

  Am I actually falling for this banshee?

  Well on the brighter side, at least that shut her up.