Detoured by Love

by David Horne

Old Man James rolled his eyes at the words “old friend.” He jerked his head toward Lewis. “Who’s this?”

  “This is—” Joss began, but Lewis cut across him.

  “I can speak for myself, blondie!” Lewis snapped at Joss.

  Joss looked taken aback for a moment, but then Lewis turned his back on Old Man James and gave Lewis a winning smile and a wink. Joss rolled his eyes at Lewis, amused. Lewis had decided on the spot, that if he was going to be living here, he didn’t want to make an enemy of the owner of the only shop. Lewis glanced over his shoulder. It’d worked. Old Man James was cackling.

  “I like the cut of your jib, son,” he smirked. “What’s your business here?”

  Son? Lewis found himself thinking inwardly. You can stay!

  “My aunt owned the farm uptown,” Lewis explained. “She passed away. So, the place is mine now.”

  “The big farm over the way?” Old Man James asked, somewhat surprised. “Mrs. Taylor passed?”

  Lewis nodded.

  “I’m sorry to hear that,” Old Man James said sincerely, “she was a fine woman, she was. She helped me out more than once. I don’t owe people favors, but I owed her more than once. I can tell you.”

  Lewis smiled kindly. “Yeah, she uh…she spoke about you a lot.”

  “Oh, yeah?” Old Man James perked up. “What did she say?”

  Lewis found himself wondering why on Earth he’d tossed out the quick fib. If he could make it work, it’d be worth the risk, though. “She said…that you were the only one in this town with any class. Old Man James, she said, he’s the man.”

  Old Man James grinned like a little boy on Christmas Day. “See, blondie? We finally got a fella who knows how to have a little respect for his elders.”

  Joss Kenla was highly amused by this.

  “What’s your name, chief?” Old Man James asked, leaning forward to rest his right arm on the counter.

  “I’m Lewis,” Lewis said immediately. “Pleased to make your acquaintance.”

  “And you,” Old Man James said, accepting the offer of a handshake. “The name’s Ignatius Horatio Jameson the Third. But everyone here just calls me James or Old Man James.”

  “So that’s your real name!” Joss grinned.

  “And that’s not to leave this room!” Old Man James snapped. He turned back to Lewis. “Listen. Take anything you want, no charge, on the house. Just this once, mind you, in respect of your aunt.”

  Lewis felt a sudden surge of affection for Old Man James. “Hey! That’s real decent of you.”

  “My pleasure, my pleasure,” Old Man James waved away the thanks.

  “Hey, listen, James,” Lewis put in, “I reckon I could use a bit of help on the farm. I’m not really an animal person, if I’m honest. I wonder if I could stick this advert up in your window?”

  He pulled out the flyer. Lewis saw Old Man James’ eyes rake it. He shrugged. “Go for it, slick. But everyone knows the animal guy in this town is Brett Evans.”

  “Who?” Lewis arched his eyebrow.

  “Brett Evans,” Joss put in. “I think I work with his Dad.”

  “You don’t know Brett Evans?” Old Man James cocked his head quizzically. “Everyone knows Brett Evans. He grew up here. He moved away for high school, but got a soccer injury, so he moved back home. I don’t know, he’s a bit of a retard these days, keeps to himself, hardly says a word. Not so good with people but trust me when I say he’s got this way with animals. He’s the only guy I’ve seen approach a horse from behind and not end up with a horseshoe print in his chest.”

  Lewis raised his eyebrows, interest piqued. “Sounds like my guy. Do you know how to get in touch with him?”

  “Not a clue,” Old Man James shook his head. “I know he lives somewhere close by, but I can’t be sure where. Knowing him, he probably kips in a foxhole or something, weird kid. But he comes by every so often, so if you leave your brochure in the front window, I’m sure he’ll see it when next he comes past. Or, worst case scenario, I’ll mention it to him, and he can come see you.”

  “Yeah?” Lewis smiled. “Thanks, James, you’re doing me a real solid here.”

  “No problem,” Old Man James winked at him. “Now make sure you close the door on your way out, see? And take your daughter with you.”

  He laughed uproariously as Joss’ annoyed expression.

  Chapter Three

  Lewis took a deep breath. He glanced down and scanned the board. From his point of view, Lewis was in a pretty tight spot. But that could all change in the space of a single move. Lewis slowly extended his hand and reached for his knight on H1.

  Joss Kenla inhaled air through his teeth warningly. Lewis froze. He looked up. Joss and Lewis locked eyes. The sandy-haired paralegal winked smugly Lewis moved his hand, reaching for his bishop on F4 instead. Joss winced and hissed again. “I wouldn’t if I were you…” he murmured.

  Lewis frowned and rolled his eyes. “I’m not going to be able to concentrate if you keep doing that.”

  Joss grinned. “Well, that is the idea.”

  “Ah, a dirty player, I like it,” Lewis chuckled to himself.

  The two of them sat opposite each other at a bench in the town’s only play park, a mile or so south of Lewis’ farm house. Or “the big farm over the way”, as everyone called it. Everyday, on Joss’ lunch break, the two of them met up to play chess, something Lewis had last done with his late Aunt and hadn’t played since she’d died.

  It was a sunny day, probably the hottest of the year - Gligor, Lewis’ driver, was still wearing his black trench coat and sat perched on the hood of his car, taking long pulls from a cigarette.

  Lewis was wearing a Hawaiian t-shirt, sky-blue shorts and flip-flops. Joss Kenla, however, looked like his polar opposite, sitting across from Lewis. He dressed sharply and snappily in his black suit and waistcoat, legs crossed but he looked more out-of-place than ever before in the heat. Luckily, there weren’t many people around to offer any criticism.

  Joss casually flipped his hair out of his eyes, which didn’t go unnoticed by Lewis. “Are you going to make your move?” Joss asked.

  “Why don’t you cut it?” Lewis blurted without thinking.

  Joss arched his eyebrow. “Cut…what?”

  “Your hair,” Lewis decided to follow through on his question rather than bailing. “I notice it…gets in your eyes a lot, right?”

  Joss shrugged. “No offence, but why do you care?”

  Lewis shrugged right back. “I’m just making conversation with my friend. We are friends, right?”

  Joss nodded. “Since I can’t get rid of you, sure,” he cracked a smile.

  “I notice you didn’t answer my question,” Lewis said, keeping his tone level. The last thing he wanted to do was seem pushy. He’d never seen Joss Kenla pissed off, and if Lewis knew anything about calm people was that when they blew, they blew.

  “Well, since you asked,” Joss said calmly, running his fingers through his sandy hair absent-mindedly. “I like it this length, I don’t know. It gives me the “surfer just rolled out of bed” look.”

  “And that’s a desirable quality, is it?” Lewis asked, an amused edge to his tone.

  “I mean it doesn’t go so bad with the ladies,” Joss grinned. “As a lawyer, you never know when you’re going to need to charm someone.”

  “The ladies?” Lewis raised his eyebrows.

  Joss winked. “Yeah. Just to let you know, by the way, I’m straight, so like—”

  “I wasn’t thinking that,” Lewis said quickly, a bit too quickly.

  “You’re not even going to ask me how I know you’re gay?” Joss asked.

  Lewis shrugged. “No. Look at me, I’m about as straight as wet spaghetti and it shows.”

  Joss laughed. “Are you going to make a move?”

  Lewis nodded. He turned his attention back to the chessboard. His eyes slid out of focus as he scanned the layout. “So…Mr. Kenla.”

  “Mr. Taylor?” Joss replied curt
ly.

  “Say, for example, hypothetically, for instance,” Lewis rambled. “Say you were me. What move would you make?”

  “Me?” Joss asked, pretending to be distracted as he innocently checked his manicured fingernails. “I’d go Pawn to C4. Why do you ask?”

  Lewis reached forward, grasped his Queen and moved eight spaces diagonally across the bird, eliminating one of Joss’ bishops. “Check.”

  Joss’ confident smile disappeared, and he cocked his head quizzically. “Interesting. Might I inquire your thought processes?”

  Lewis grinned, satisfied that he’d got the better of Joss. “Certainly, dear boy. I narrowed my possible moves down to two options. Take your bishop and check the King or protect my own rook by moving my pawn to C4.”

  “Okay I’m still with you,” Joss nodded.

  “Now you are a pretty good chess player,” Lewis went on. “Which I know from playing against you.”

  “I’m touched,” Joss said, once again checking his clear-coats.

  “But more importantly, you’re a lawyer,” Lewis went on. “And from what I hear, you’re pretty good. A pretty good lawyer would recognize when I just asked that pretty obvious question just there. But you’re also a bit arrogant, no offence.”

  Joss pretended to look shocked. “Me? Arrogant? No way.”

  “Arrogant people not only think they’re clever. They think everyone else is an idiot,” Lewis deduced.

  “I certainly don’t think everyone else is an idiot,” Joss disagreed. “Just most people.”

  “My point is, I think you saw right through what I asked you,” Lewis explained, folding his arms. “And you immediately tried to throw me off. So, I decided to check your King. Now there’s only one move you can make.”

  Lewis leaned back in his chair to gauge Joss’ reaction. He didn’t like what he saw. Joss didn’t seem worried or under pressure in the slightest. In short, he didn’t look like a man on the ropes. Which wasn’t good news for Lewis. At all.

  Joss took a beat to savor the moment before he leaned forward, picked up his King and moved it one square down. “King to E9. Checkmate.”

  Lewis’ face fell. “Wait…what?”

  “Checkmate?” Joss prompted smugly. “That’s what it’s called when the game’s over?”

  Lewis scowled at him. “I don’t understand what’s happened.”

  Joss sighed exasperatedly and began unbuttoning and redoing his cuffs. “Well, you were almost right. If I’d wanted to win, what I would have done is my castle between your Queen and my King, that now blocks the path between my bishop and your King, leaving it nowhere to go. That’s if I had wanted to win.”

  Lewis blinked. “Is that not what just happened?”

  “Look again,” Joss said, in the same bored voice that was starting to make Lewis realize why he rubbed people up the wrong way.

  In spite of himself, Lewis looked again. Joss had moved his King into a classic trap, bordered on all sides by Lewis’ pieces. His Queen, castles, knights, all surrounded the enemy King. It was checkmate, but-

  “That’s my checkmate,” Lewis realized. “You’ve mated yourself…”

  “How about that?” Joss asked, in a tone that suggested he was not at all surprised.

  “You threw the game,” Lewis realized. “Why would you let me win?”

  “Because my office is twenty minutes away,” Joss grinned. “I don’t want to have to walk it.”

  Lewis snorted. “All that for a throwaway joke?”

  Joss shrugged. “You can’t put a price on good comedy.”

  Lewis rolled his eyes. “That’s true. Let me know if you learn to be funny one day, yeah?”

  “Oh ha-ha.”

  Lewis suddenly shushed him. Gligor was striding over toward them, looking important.

  “Gligor?” Lewis asked, looking his driver in the eye.

  “Someone here to see you, boss,” Gligor said, in stilted English.

  “Shall I let them past?”

  “Uh…yeah, sure, Gligor,” Lewis said nervously.

  As the driver traipsed off, Joss gave Lewis a look. ”Let them past?”

  “He seems to think he’s my bodyguard,” Lewis shrugged. “He’s a pretty good driver, I don’t want to burst his bubble and give him a reason to drive me into a wall one day.”

  “Well done, you’re starting to think like me,” Joss commended.

  The “person” that wanted to see Lewis, much to Lewis and Joss’ surprise, turned out to be Old Man James, who was being forcibly pulled along by Gligor, though he cursed and struggled along the way.

  “Gligor! Heel!” Joss suddenly barked, and Gligor let Old Man James go without a word, and simply stood back, stock still, silent and expressionless.

  Lewis gave Joss a look of wonder. “What the—?”

  “Your aunt used to do it,” Joss shrugged. “Don’t ask me, I don’t know.”

  Making a mental note to try the ‘Gligor - heel’ thing when he had time, Lewis turned back to Old Man James. “James. Good to see you outside the store, friend.”

  “You too,” Old Man James said, eyes still fixed on Gligor. Then he turned, and his eyes narrowed when they fell upon Joss. “Still hanging around with him, I see?”

  Lewis remembered his earlier plan of bonding with Old Man James, and so far, it had been an unqualified success. He couldn’t risk throwing it away. “I’m just teaching this young whippersnapper how to play chess like a pro.”

  Joss gave Lewis a look. Lewis couldn’t work out whether it was for the whippersnapper comment or because of the ‘I’m teaching him how to play chess’ thing. He decided in the moment that it didn’t matter. Old Man James, however, grinned toothily and approached. “Good, good, good! More young people should be learning the game, might put some strategy in their empty heads and keep ‘em quiet to boot!”

  To emphasize his point, he stepped up and rapped his knuckles on Joss’ forehead, as if they would be able to hear the emptiness in his head. Joss didn’t look offended, merely perplexed, and Lewis had to stifle a laugh. “Damn right!” he added gruffly, in response to Old Man James’ remark.

  “Teach him the Fool’s Mate,” Old Man James said. “It’s the most reliable move I know.”

  “Fool’s Mate?” Lewis asked blankly, without thinking.

  Old Man James glared at him. “Yes. Fool’s Mate. You do know the Fool’s Mate, right?”

  “Yeah, of course!” Lewis exclaimed. “Fool’s Mate! That’s…uh…that’s pretty much every time we play, isn’t it, Kenla? He brings the fool, I supply the mate and that’s the end of that!”

  Lewis waited on tenterhooks, but Old Man James hadn’t sassed him. In fact, he’d begun to laugh. “You’re all right, Taylor,” he decided, when his laughs had subsided.

  Suddenly, something sprung to Lewis’ mind. “James - what did you want to talk to me about?”

  Old Man James nodded. “Oh yeah, I almost forgot. The guy we talked about came by the store today.”

  “Guy, we talked about?” Lewis echoed blankly. “I’m drawing a blank.”

  “You remember,” Old Man James prompted. “Brett Evans. The animal dude.”

  “Oh right!” Lewis snapped his fingers. “The animal guy, of course! What about him?”

  “He came by the General Store today,” Old Man James repeated. “He didn’t say much, but he took your flyer with him, so I’m guessing he’s interested in your job.”

  “When was this?” Lewis asked.

  “Oh, I’d say about an hour ago, maybe two,” Old Man James said airily.

  “What, you’re wondering why he took so long to tell you?” Joss guessed, looking more confused than interested.

  Lewis shook his head. “No, I’m wondering why he came to tell me at all! I mean, don’t get me wrong, I appreciate it, but I didn’t expect you to come and find me when the guy came to your store—”

  Old Man James snorted. “Not on your life, fella. You’re lucky I was driving through the neighborh
ood and saw you. Just by chance. Otherwise I’d be home right now.”

  “Oh, right,” Lewis nodded. “So, I guess all I do is wait for the phone to ring.”

  Old Man James and Joss both chuckled at this, which turned Lewis’ head. It was a rare thing to say. Joss and Old Man James united in…well…pretty much anything.

  “What’s so funny?” Lewis asked, yet again confused. “Did I make a joke? Without realizing? Am I that good?”

  “No, it’s just,” Joss grinned. “That thing about the phone. No one calls to inquire about jobs. We’re old-school down here. We just…uh…turn up.”

  Lewis gave him a look. “What do you mean you just turn up?”

  Joss shrugged. “That’s kind of what I did. I turned up at the office and said, ‘can I be a paralegal?’ and they said yes.”

  “It was that simple, was it?”

  “More or less,” Joss nodded. “I mean, there may have been one or two complications, but who’s counting, right?”

  “Right,” Lewis said. He turned back to Old Man James. “I don’t suppose you’ve got this kid’s phone number, right?”

  Old Man James narrowed his eyes. “Why in the world would I have his number?”

  “He didn’t mention when he might just turn up?”

  The confusion on Old Man James’ face did not clear up. “Should he? I mean you live there, right?”

  “Of course, I live there,” Lewis said impatiently. “But I’m not in 24/7, am I? I do go out, you know.”

  “Like when?” Old Man James asked.

  Lewis raised his eyebrows. “Literally right now.”

  Old Man James shrugged. “Listen. I delivered the message. I’ve said my piece. Do with that information what you will. And now, I’m off.”

  As he trudged off, he left Lewis murmuring. “This backward-ass town,” Lewis said under his breath. “By the sound of it, this kid probably went to visit me already, but I’ve been here all day.”

  “So, what’s your plan?” Joss asked. “You are going home?”

  “You mean what’s our plan?” Lewis amended.

  “Why do I have to go?” Joss objected indignantly.

  “Because I’m driving, and I say so,” Lewis said, deciding to cut to the chase and pull rank right off the bat.