One Way Home

by Jennifer Youngblood

  Zoe didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. “You wouldn’t believe it if I told you.”

  “Try me.”

  She moistened her lips, launching into her narrative. “Well, last Saturday when Briggs was removing the splinter from my foot, Ramsey and Mason came in. Carl happened to call during that time. Mason grabbed my phone and answered it. He insinuated to Carl that Briggs and I are together.”

  A grin broke over Daddy’s face. “Oh, wow. I’m sure that got the cream puff going.”

  Zoe frowned, not liking how happy Daddy was about the situation. “The minute Carl heard that about me and Briggs, he went berserk, accusing me of running around with Briggs behind his back.”

  The muscles in Daddy’s jaw twitched. “What? That’s a bunch of hogwash!”

  “I know it is.” She barked out a humorless laugh. “But now Carl has decided that he wants me back.”

  Daddy’s features went rigid as he swore under his breath. “That low-down, cheatin’ scalawag. I hope you told him to take a hike,” he growled.

  “Oh, I told him plenty.”

  “What about the other woman?”

  “Kate?”

  He nodded.

  “Well, it seems that Kate has decided that she and Carl aren’t compatible. She dumped his butt.” Zoe couldn’t help but feel a sense of vindication that Carl now knew how it felt to be thrown to the curb.

  Knox shook his head, disgust carving deep lines into his face. “So now that he’s been dumped, he wants to crawl back to you. Unbelievable!”

  “Pretty much.” Zoe’s stomach tightened, wondering if she should broach a certain topic that had been gnawing at her for years. “Can I ask you a question?” She bit her lower lip.

  “Sure.”

  She sifted through the contents of her mind, trying to find the best way to phrase it.

  A dry grin touched Daddy’s lips. “Just spit it out, sugar pea.”

  “You act like Carl is such a scoundrel for cheating, which he is.” She clutched her hand. “I just figured that you, of all people, would be more understanding … considering your situation with Mama.” Needles pelted through her heart when she saw the pain that washed over Daddy’s face. “I’m sorry,” she added quickly, not wanting to hurt him. Daddy had been so good to her and the kids, buying her house, letting her live here for free until she got back on her feet.

  “It’s okay,” he said, the vein in his neck throbbing. “This is something I’ve known I would have to eventually talk about.” He paused, glancing out the window and then back at her. He offered a quick strained smile. “The short story is that there’s no excuse for what I did. Your mama and I were in a dark place back then, but still …” His voice trailed off, and she could feel his regret seeping into the air like a toxin, tainting everything around them. He rubbed a hand across his forehead. “I was a different person back then. I’ve spent a lifetime trying to make it up to your mama.”

  “I understand.” She touched his arm, wanting to give comfort to her larger-than-life hero. That’s what had been so hard for Zoe—to accept that her daddy was fallible, that he could’ve made such a huge mistake that altered the course of the entire family. Zoe turned the conversation back to her and Carl. She knew what she was about to say wouldn’t sit well with Daddy, but she had to get it out there. “Okay, with those thoughts in mind, isn’t it possible that Carl is a good person who simply made a mistake?”

  Knox jerked, nearly coming out of his seat. “No!”

  She rocked back, eyes narrowing. “How is Carl so different from you?”

  The corners of his jaw popped out like marbles, and Zoe could tell he was having to work to keep an even tone as he spoke. “The situation is completely different.”

  Zoe leaned forward, looking him in the eye. “Why? Because you don’t like Carl?”

  His eyes flashed. “No, my thoughts on this have nothing to do with my dislike for Carl.” He rubbed his jaw. “Your mama and I are in a good place now, but we’re not together as man and wife.”

  “Okay, well, maybe you should be.” Her words tumbled out in a tirade. “The two of you are together so much anyway that I don’t see why you don’t just make it official. Think about how much easier it would be for us kids if you guys were together. I have to think about my kids and how much better off they would be to have two parents under the same roof—"

  “Hold it right there. Time out!” he ordered making a T with his hands when she tried to cut in.

  She clamped her lips together, folding her arms like a vise-grip over her chest as she glared at him. At times like this, she felt like she was sixteen again and getting a lecture.

  “Let’s take this one piece at a time. For starters, the biggest difference between me and your mama and you and Carl is that your mama is the one.” His voice caught. “I love her heart and soul, would lay down my life for her.” He leaned forward, his eyes lasering into hers. “Can you say the same about Carl? Does he love you heart and soul? Does he want what’s best for you? Did he support your sculpting? Or was it all about him?”

  Her heart clutched as she began blinking. “I—I don’t know.” Everything was coming at her so fast, a relentless tide thrashing against the shore and eating away the boundary of her poorly laid defenses.

  His expression shouted checkmate. “If Carl were the man for you, if you were truly in love with him, then the situation might be different.”

  She flinched like she’d been slapped, her darkest fears rising up large and terrible. “Are you insinuating that I didn’t love my husband enough?” Tears rose in her eyes. “I gave everything to my marriage!” she said hoarsely.

  “You gave everything you could, but you can’t give what you don’t have.” It wasn’t just Daddy’s words that got to Zoe, but also the wise tenderness in his expression. Her defenses broke in one fell swoop as tears streamed down her cheeks. “I tried to love him,” she sniffed. It was agony to admit that out loud, but it was also a relief. Oh, how she’d tried to form herself into the woman Carl had wanted. The closer she got to his version of perfection, the less she recognized herself. She would look in the mirror seeing only a shadow of the person she was before.

  “I know you did. The problem is that he’s not the one for you. He never was.”

  Her head shot up. “And just who is?”

  A faint smile touched Daddy’s lips. “Do you really want me to answer that?”

  She raked her hair out of her face with a jerky movement. “I’m sick and tired of everyone telling me I should get back together with Briggs.” She ground her teeth together. “Briggs and I have been apart for over a decade. We’ve lived two completely different lives.” An avalanche of emotion rose in her throat as she swallowed hard. “Need I remind you that he broke up with me?”

  “Okay, so Briggs made a mistake. He’s the good man that you should be forgiving.”

  She grunted, acid burning her throat. “No thanks.”

  Mild amusement simmered in Daddy’s teal eyes. “So, you’re considering giving Carl another chance after he cheated on you? And yet, you won’t give Briggs another chance? Y’all were barely out of high school when Briggs broke up with you. Give the guy a break. He’s grown up since then and so have you.”

  “Exactly. We’ve grown up in different worlds. We’re completely different people.”

  He lifted an eyebrow. “Just because you went out West and got all hoity toity doesn’t mean you ain’t got plenty of southern still running through your veins. I’ve seen the way you look at Briggs, and I’ve seen how he looks at you. Y’all are meant to be together. The sooner you get that through your thick skull, the better off you’ll be.” His voice rose. “You wanna give your kids a good gift? Well, then show ‘em what true love looks like. Start living the life you were born to live, and then they’ll realize they can live their dreams too. That’s how you do it.” His voice quivered with intensity. “You don’t know how it hurts to watch your child become a shell of the person she once
was, to see the light inside her grow dim.” He balled his fist. “You don’t know how many times I’ve prayed to God above, pleading that you would be given a second chance to live again.”

  Tumultuous emotions pressed a hard line against Zoe’s eyes. She’d never meant to settle, had never meant to give up on her dreams. Compromise had seemed like a good thing, a way to salvage her failing marriage. Zoe believed in marriage. She’d wanted to do everything in her power to honor the commitment she’d made before God to Carl. Yet, she couldn’t do it alone. Marriage required two people working together. There were other issues at play here, other things that Zoe had worked hard to keep hidden so deep in that box that it would never see the light of day. The intrusive memory of Briggs had always been there, lurking on the edge of her consciousness, surfacing in her dreams. Had she been so broken by Briggs that she could never fully move on? Was her relationship with Carl doomed before it ever began?

  She pulled at her shirt collar, which felt tight as a noose. Her thoughts were boiling inside her head—a pressure cooker about to blow. It didn’t help that Daddy was studying her so intently. “I’ll give your words some thought,” she said stiffly. Daddy brought up a good question. Why was she willing to make allowances for Carl and not Briggs? She tucked that thought away. Better to deal with it later when she was feeling emotionally stronger.

  He nodded. “Alright. I guess that’s a good place to start.” He reached for her hand and squeezed it. “I want you to know that I love you.”

  Tears rose in her eyes. “I love you too.”

  He offered a loving smile. “You’re stronger than you think. I know it’s rough now, but one day you’re gonna look back on this time and realize that you’ve been given a great gift—the gift to hit the restart button, the gift to love and to be loved, fully and completely.”

  The words stirred her heart, evoking a deep longing. “I hope you’re right,” she croaked. Could she open herself up and trust Briggs with her heart?

  Daddy patted her hand before releasing it. “I know I’m right.” He smiled brightly. “This is changing the subject, but your mama and I are gonna take Milo and Madison to grab some pizza and to a movie.”

  Zoe made a point of dropping her jaw. “What? You’re not eating Gina’s black-eyed peas?” She wagged a finger. “Shame.”

  He laughed. “Don’t tell her. I’ll never hear the end of it.”

  Zoe pursed her lips. “Pizza sounds good. I’ll go too.” The weekends loomed long and lonely now that Zoe was single, with too much time to think. More than missing Carl, she missed having a companion.

  The corners of his mouth twitched as his jaw worked. “Well, I was kind of hoping that you and Jaxson would go to Randy’s tonight. Mason and his band are performing, and they could really use your support.”

  She made a face. “Are you talking about Randy’s Dance Hall?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I don’t wanna go there,” she retorted.

  “You used to love going boot scootin’.”

  “I still do, but not at that dive.”

  He chuckled. “You might be surprised. Randy took on some investors who helped him clean up the joint. It’s now a fine establishment.” He sat up a little taller in his seat.

  Realization dawned. “By investors, you mean you and Dylan.” Knox and his younger brother owned a company together and had developed several neighborhoods. They had their hands in so many ventures that Zoe couldn’t keep up with them all.

  “Yep,” Daddy quipped. “Like I said, even you might be impressed.”

  She grinned. “Alright, I’ll check it out. How’s Mason doing with the band?”

  Knox rubbed his neck. “They’re doing okay.”

  She could tell from the evasive answer that there was more to it. “And?” she prompted.

  He grimaced. “Mason’s chomping at the bit to have Cash give him an introduction into the music industry, but he’s not ready. It takes a strong man to rise above the fame. I’m afraid Mason would get eaten alive.”

  She grunted out a laugh. “You’re probably right. The last thing Mason needs is something else feeding his ego.”

  “In a few years, when Mason has some life experience under his belt, it’ll be a different story, but right now, well, he needs to focus on getting his education first.”

  Warmth rose in Zoe’s chest. “You’re a good dad.” She knew that when Daddy referenced Mason getting eaten alive, he was also talking about himself. Daddy was a huge music buff, as evidenced by the state-of-the-art music room directly above them on the second floor. When Knox and Birdie first married, he was in a band and had been on the verge of stardom. He got his big break, which would have required him to go on tour. However, he turned it down because he didn’t want to leave Birdie home alone with Zoe and Jaxson, their only two kids at the time. Knox became a real-estate developer instead and had done amazingly well. However, Zoe wondered if he regretted not pursuing his music for a career, especially since he was so emphatic about her doing her sculpting. Maybe that’s why Mama was constantly riding her about it too. Her parents definitely carried their share of regrets.

  “Will you go tonight?”

  She let out a long sigh. “I suppose. It’ll be nice to watch Mason perform.” Excitement tingled through her. Zoe couldn’t remember the last time she’d gone dancing. When she and Carl had first gotten married, Zoe tried to talk him into going dancing with her. But it wasn’t something Carl enjoyed, so eventually, Zoe quit pestering him about it. The only time Zoe had gotten a chance to dance was at a wedding or an occasional party.

  “That’s my girl,” Knox said with a wink. “You need to brush the dust off those cowboy boots, let your hair down, and have some fun tonight. You deserve it.”

  Zoe considered his words. “You know what? I do deserve to have a little fun.” A small smile tipped her lips and spread like warm honey across her face. “Okay, you talked me into it. Watch out Randy’s, here I come,” she said with exaggerated gusto.

  “Zoe Romeo is in the house,” Daddy boomed. “Go get ‘em, little darling.” A proud sparkle lit his eyes. “Show ‘em how it’s done.”

  She laughed. “I’ll certainly do my best.”

  “I have no doubt your best will be good enough and more,” Daddy asserted. “You’ll be the prettiest thing there.”

  Her eyes widened as a chuckle tickled her throat. “Spoken like a biased parent,” she teased.

  “Nope. Just speaking the truth.”

  The sincerity in his expression was a huge boost to Zoe’s morale. A calm surety swept over her, spreading balm to her frazzled nerves. She had no idea what would happen from here on out, if she should consider giving Briggs another chance, or if he even wanted another chance. All she knew right now was that she was grateful to be home, grateful to be able to borrow some of her daddy’s strength, grateful to see herself through his eyes.

  If only she could bottle up Daddy’s strength to use when she needed it most. Oh, to see the world through Daddy’s eyes, even for a moment.

  It was truly a gift.

  9

  The idea of going to Randy’s had been somewhat enthralling, but now that she was here, Zoe’s stomach was tied in knots. At least Jaxson was with her so she wouldn’t have to go in alone. Zoe wasn’t ready to face all the people from her past, not here in this environment—all at once. She was so out of practice with being single. Every part of her wanted to run back to the ranch, put on sweats, grab a gallon of ice cream, and camp out in front of the TV.

  Jaxson pulled into what appeared to be the last empty parking spot at the far edge of the large parking lot and turned off the engine.

  “It’s a packed house,” Zoe said mostly to herself as she chewed on her inner cheek. The exterior of the building was definitely an improvement over what it had been before with its modern metal façade that boasted an arched entryway and two massive farm-style doors.

  “That’s how every Friday night is at Randy’s.” Jaxso
n chuckled as he motioned. “Careful, sis, or you’ll pick all that pink fingernail polish off.”

  Zoe looked down and realized she was picking at her nails. She let go of her hands and flicked them to release the tension.

  “Not nervous, are you?” He flashed an amused grin. “Don’t worry, they won’t bite. At least most of them, anyway.” He frowned. “Come to think of it, maybe you should’ve gotten a rabies shot before you came back.”

  “Ha ha,” she said drolly, “very funny.” Being the closest in age, Zoe and Jaxson often fought. Zoe could tell from the backhanded comments that Jaxson had given her over the years that he thought Zoe had too high of an opinion of herself with her high falutin’ house in Park City, or PC as Jaxson referred to it, meaning politically correct. Zoe, on the other hand, saw Jaxson as a player who needed to get serious about life and settle down. The girlfriend in every town might’ve been okay when he was twenty, but not so much now that he was in his early thirties. Yeah, he was eye candy with his quick smile, chiseled features, and messy hair. The problem was that Jaxson knew he was all that. His looks and charisma had totally gone to his head. He was a big fish in a very little pond.

  He winked. “Don’t have a coronary, sis. It’s like riding a bike. And I’ll be right by your side, your very own custom-fit training wheels.” He thrust out his chest like a proud peacock. Zoe could tell that Jaxson was getting a kick out of his older sister needing him.

  “How kind of you,” she retorted, shoving his arm with her fist. Truthfully, she was grateful to have Jaxson here with her.

  They got out of the truck and walked to the entrance. The sweet, fresh air held a bit of a chill, making Zoe glad she’d worn her jean jacket. Jaxson had a confident spring in his step. She straightened her shoulders, hoping to appear more confident than she felt. They stepped inside to the noise and bustle of the dance hall. The place was brimming with people and the music was loud. A pretty blonde in her early twenties was standing behind the entrance booth. When she saw Jaxson, her face lit up like a football stadium.