Which made her think of all the paperwork and hoops she’d had to jump through to file her insurance claim and put in for federal assistance.
It sucked that the process was so hard and convoluted.
She put the metal box into the bucket she’d brought with her that now contained her treasures, planted her hands on her knees, and pushed herself up. Her legs ached, but her heart felt lighter. She’d found what she’d come here for, and Danny and Oliver would be so happy to have a small piece of their past to hold on to when everything had been taken away, including the school they used to attend.
They couldn’t stay here much longer.
She needed to get the boys somewhere they could settle in and go back to school.
She also needed to call her mom and have the talk she’d put off because immediate concerns took precedence to actually making decisions that extended beyond their need for a roof over their heads and dealing with the aftermath of the fire.
She’d done what she needed to do with the property.
There truly was nothing left for her to do here.
Overwhelmed by what came next and the abundance of decisions that had to be made to start a whole new life, Sierra trudged through the wreckage, walked down the porch steps one last time, her heart heavy that this was probably the last time she’d ever come here, and headed for the police car. She opened the back door, set her bucket on the seat, then turned back and looked at what used to be.
Emotion flooded her, sending tears down her cheeks. She pulled off a glove and brushed them away with clean fingers.
“You can rebuild,” the officer assured her.
Yes, I will. Just not here.
Her boys were counting on her.
But she had to face reality and listen to her heart. She didn’t want to be here anymore.
She wanted to go home to Carmel.
* * *
“Hi, sweetheart.”
“Hey, Mom.” Sierra stood outside the motel room door on the balcony overlooking the pool with her cell phone to her ear, so happy to hear her mother’s reassuring voice.
“It’s been a couple of days. I worried.”
The days since the fire had left Sierra drained. “I’m sorry. I went to the house yesterday. There’s nothing left but ash and burnt trees. Everywhere I looked . . . there was just nothing.”
“I can’t imagine.” Emotion tightened her mom’s soft voice. “We spoke about this the other day, but I’ll say it again. I’m happy to help in any way you need.”
“I appreciate that.”
“Just tell me how much you need and I’ll get it to you.”
She didn’t want to rely on her mother for financial support. That was more her little sister Heather’s MO. “Right now I need something besides money.”
“Anything.”
“I want to come home, Mom.”
“I’ve got your old room and the spare bedroom all ready for you.”
Relief swept through her. Her mom offered the second she found out the house was lost. Overwhelmed in the moment, and since, Sierra hadn’t been able to really think or plan.
“When will you be here?”
“Tomorrow?” She hated to impose, but she also wanted to get the boys settled.
“I can’t wait.” Her mother’s excitement eased Sierra’s mind.
“Thank you for this. I’m out of options.” At least it felt that way.
“I’m always here for you, Sierra. This is still your home no matter how old you get.”
Tears clogged her throat, but she pushed the words out. “I love you.”
“I love you, too, sweetheart. Everything is going to be okay.”
She really needed to hear that right now.
Sierra outlined her plans for the trip home, thanked her mom one more time, and said good-bye with a lighter heart and a belly full of anticipation.
This felt right. With everything of her old life literally left in ashes, she needed a fresh start.
So did the boys. They’d been through so much this past year, losing their father and now their home.
She walked back into their latest rented room and stared at her boys sitting on the queen bed in the fourth motel they’d moved to in the last three weeks. Their treasures she’d found at the house yesterday sat on the nightstand beside them. They’d been so surprised and excited to get them, but also sad that the few items had been all that was left of their belongings. She felt the same way.
One of the guys at the fire victims center took a hammer and screwdriver to the lockbox and popped it open for her. David’s cuff links had survived. So had their wedding rings. The jewelry hadn’t come out unscathed. The metal had turned black and tarnished, but the diamonds were eerily bright and sparkly. Maybe one day she’d have them reset into new men’s rings for the boys. They could wear a piece of what bound her and David together.
Backs against the propped pillows, Danny and Oliver were deep into a cupcake baking show on the Food Network. Eventually, they’d ask to go to the local grocery store to pick up some treats.
They deserved something sweet for being such troopers. They missed their friends, their own things, and even school.
Sierra pressed her hand over the stack of papers sitting on the small table by the window. They were all she’d managed to grab on her mad dash out of the house to beat the fire. All these months after David’s death, she still couldn’t account for the personal loan he’d taken out without her knowledge.
Fifty thousand dollars.
This past year, she’d struggled on her income combined with David’s Social Security to pay the bills and keep a roof over their heads. And now she didn’t even have the house or a job.
She had this motel room for the next two days, another lined up for one night, but she needed something more permanent. The boys needed stability. They needed routine.
And so did she.
All this uncertainty left her a live wire of anxiety, sadness for all they’d lost, and uncertainty about how she’d get them all back on track and thriving again.
As a mom, she thought she could do it all. She tried.
Most days, until the fire, she did a pretty good job.
You can’t have everything. Something’s gotta give. But right now, overwhelmed by their circumstances and uncertainty about the future, she needed help.
Her family knew of their troubles. They wanted to help. She appreciated it, but until now she’d gone from hour to hour, day to day, trying her best to deal with the aftermath of the fire and keep the boys entertained.
But she needed to start thinking of the bigger picture. Especially because she was running out of money and racking up credit card debt. Yes, there was help out there for the fire victims. She’d taken advantage of the free clothes, everyday necessities, like toiletries, and even a few toys for the boys to take their minds off all they’d lost.
Truly, when she thought about all the things they needed to replace, it overwhelmed her.
And yet, she had moments where she embraced the fact that this was a chance to start over, start fresh.
But there was so much of the past still left unsettled.
While the community had come together to provide free meals and assistance to navigate the process and red tape involved in a disaster, it was still so overwhelming. All she wanted to do was hand the whole job over to someone else. She wanted to turn back time and go back to her life before the fire destroyed everything.
That thought only reminded her that life hadn’t been happy and carefree for a long time. Certainly not since her husband’s death and, if she was honest with herself, it started before that. There’d been a distance building between them for some time. The more she thought about it, the more she realized that she’d never get the answers she desperately wanted from David.
Right now, that didn’t matter.
Her boys deserved better than dingy motel rooms and another takeout meal.
Sierra glanced around the messy ro
om. Plastic shopping bags with their meager belongings on the floor and dresser, discarded takeout containers scattered across the small table by the window, the boys’ bath towels on the tile floor by the vanity with the dripping faucet, both beds a mess of tangled sheets littered with toy cars and stuffed animals, and her boys sitting among the chaos eating a bag of chips instead of a healthy snack.
The untidy room reflected the current state of her life.
She needed to clean up the mess, clear her mind, and come up with a plan for their new life.
“What do you guys think about going to visit Grandma and Aunt Amy and Aunt Heather?” Asking for help had never come easy, but Sierra really needed some right now. She’d reached that point where there was so much to tackle she didn’t know where to start.
The boys rolled up to their feet and jumped up and down on the bed. “Yes!”
Danny bounced and landed on his butt. “When can we go?”
“Now!” Oliver begged.
Yep, they needed family. Stability. Something familiar.
Truth be told, so did she, but that meant going home. It felt like the right decision, but sometimes going home was easier said than done.
She hoped she wasn’t trading one drama for another.
Chapter Three
Heather pulled onto the shoulder and parked the car next to the mailboxes. She checked the car seat behind her and found her daughter, Hallee, still slumbering, her face soft and sweet. Every time she looked at her little girl, she saw a glimpse of the man she’d loved and lost.
Cars drove by on the main road. She climbed out and inhaled the slightly salty scent in the air, though they were a ways from the beach. She loved it here in Carmel Valley. So much so, she’d never left.
Not like Sierra.
She couldn’t imagine all her sister had been through these last weeks.
Her mother had called an hour ago, said she’d heard from Sierra, and asked Heather to stop by after work to talk about Sierra and the boys.
She missed her sister. But as much as she wanted to help, she dreaded Sierra’s return. Everyone would start asking questions about Heather’s daughter again.
Family. They wanted all the details about your successes and mistakes.
Hopefully, Sierra’s troubles would keep them all occupied and off her back.
Life had always been about her older sisters. This time would be no different.
Amy seemed to have a new crisis every week. If you could call motherhood a crisis. Amy seemed to think everything had to be perfect in her perfect life.
Heather rolled her eyes at that. Sometimes the messy things gave you the most satisfaction and joy. She glanced at her sweet sleeping angel. Yep. The mess, the pain, the bad choices . . . totally worth it.
Even if she had to live with the consequences and secrets.
A Mercedes pulled in front of her car as she retrieved the mail from her mother’s box. It had been a long time since she’d seen the sexy man who climbed out and stopped short when he saw her.
Mason Moore. Superhot next-door neighbor. Now a successful divorce attorney. They met him the day they moved here after their mom married husband number four. As teens, at one time or another, she, Amy, and even Sierra had a crush on him.
He had an odd profession for a guy who didn’t seem to enjoy other people’s drama. But Mom said rumor had it he’d helped an old flame out during a nasty divorce, managing to get her full custody of her kids from an ex-husband who liked to hurt the people he supposedly loved.
Mason would want to be the guy who protected people like her and the child.
He was just a good guy.
Maybe if she’d gone for someone like him instead of the bad boys she preferred . . . Well, that’s what happened when your heart wanted what it wanted.
Her heart sped up just looking at him.
“Heather. Hey. What are you doing here?”
Thinking about getting out of this rut and dating again. God, you’re gorgeous.
It had been a long time since she’d enjoyed a night out with a guy. She missed the flirting, listening to a man’s deep voice, having all his attention focused on her.
No offense to her sweet girl, but Mama needed some affection, too, sometimes.
She held up the stack of envelopes and catalogs. “Grabbing the mail for Mom on my way to see her.”
“How is she?” He unlocked his box and pulled out his mail, his focus more on the bills than her. Unfortunately.
“Fine. Getting the house ready for company.”
One eyebrow raised above his dark sunglasses. “Company?”
“Sierra and the boys.”
The eyebrow went up again. “Sierra’s coming home?” A hint of anticipation and hope filled the question that sounded way more like a statement he needed to hear to believe it.
She couldn’t see his eyes, but she felt his interest in the answer, not her. “They’ll be here tomorrow.”
“How are they? I mean, they must be devastated after the fire.”
“It’s been difficult. They’ve been moving from one hotel or motel to the next while Sierra sorts out the mess with the insurance and government assistance. There’s not much left up there for them. Sierra’s job is gone along with everything else they owned, so . . .” She shrugged. “I guess this is her only choice right now.”
Mason tilted his head. “She’s smart. Resourceful. I’m sure she’ll be back on her feet in no time. But it will be good to have her home.”
Heather wasn’t so sure about that. She loved her sister, but when they got together, they fell back into childhood roles. Heather wanted Sierra to see her for who she was now, not the impulsive spoiled brat Sierra used to call her. Of course, her sisters and mom never let her forget her mistakes and missteps. “I’m looking forward to seeing the boys.” That at least was wholly true.
“Please tell Sierra, if there’s anything she needs, I’m happy to help.”
Yeah, everyone had scrambled to help Sierra after David died. They’d do the same now after the fire. She’d be everyone’s priority.
Mason glanced at the back of her car. Hallee gave him a bright smile and waved. Mason waved back, smiling for the first time. It made him even more handsome, and Hallee ate it up, covering her face with her stuffed elephant, then moving it away and smiling at him again.
Mason turned his attention back to her. “She’s really sweet.”
“Growing like a weed.”
“She’ll probably love having the boys around.”
Heather wished she could see his eyes. Something in his voice hinted at an underlying message she couldn’t decipher. “Uh, yeah. We haven’t seen Sierra and the boys in a while.”
He leaned his weight on one leg in a casual stance, but she felt his focus. “How are you getting on all by yourself? It can’t be easy being a single mom.”
“I’m doing okay.” It sucked. She wished she had a loving husband. Hallee deserved a father who loved her and showed her what a good man looked like.
Hallee’s father had loved her. He had wanted her.
It just wasn’t meant to be.
“Good to hear it.” That same edge she’d heard before came again. “Well, it’s been a long day and I have to get home and check on the horses. Say hi to your mom for me. Maybe I’ll stop by to see Sierra and the boys once they’ve settled in.”
“I’m sure she’d love to see you.”
The innocuous statement made him pause for a second. “She’s been through a lot. I hope she finds some happiness here.”
Why did she hear a deeper meaning in the things he said?
Heather held up the mail. “I better get going, too.” She stopped him just before he opened his car door. “It’s nice to see you, Mason. It’s been too long. We’ve known each other forever, yet we hardly take the time to say hi anymore.”
“It’s been a long time since you girls were jumping fences and begging me to ride the horses.”
“Maybe I’ll ma
ke a point to stop by and do just that.”
She got another of those stares from behind his glasses that she couldn’t see or read. “Tell Sierra if the boys need a distraction, I’m happy to saddle up a couple horses for them.” With that, Mason slid into his car, started the engine, and pulled back onto the road, taking the long driveway just past her mother’s.
“He’s a strange one. But sexy as all get out.” Maybe she would take a chance and stop by for a ride. The images that evoked made her warm all over.
Definitely time to get back in the dating saddle.
But first she needed to meet her mom and Amy about Sierra. Because just like Mason’s comments, everything right now for everyone was about her.
Chapter Four
Sierra pulled into the driveway.
Dede’s stomach fluttered with anticipation. She hoped she, Amy, and Heather had gathered everything Sierra and the boys needed to settle in here.
With four marriages under her belt, Dede feared the only thing she’d taught her daughters about love and marriage was that neither lasts. With Amy on the verge of a divorce she wouldn’t see coming with her blinders on, Heather a single mom with zero interest in finding a partner, and Sierra a widow with two young sons, it didn’t look like any one of them would find the kind of love that lasts.
Despite not finding it for herself, she wanted her daughters to find their soul mates—if such a thing even existed.
But, oh, those daughters of hers!
Amy held on so tight to her husband and the image she showed the world—perfect marriage, perfect kids, perfect life—that she didn’t enjoy any of it. The moments were lost, despite how much she loved to share the perfect pictures. She didn’t seem to savor the memories or reflect on how lucky she was to have a man who really loved her and the kids. Amy was so busy creating a moment, she didn’t share it with her husband and kids. Her family was perfect without all the fuss and polish Amy heaped on them. And Rex was getting tired of feeling like he didn’t matter as much as the Instagram-perfect meal Amy set in front of him each night.
Dede rolled her eyes at a memory of their last family meal together, a moment when Rex had tried to lean in and kiss his wife. Amy had nudged him out of her way so she could get the star-shaped cucumbers out of the fridge. They needed to go on top of the salad or it just wasn’t finished. Rejected for cucumbers. Dede sighed. No wonder Rex was frustrated and feeling underappreciated.
Sisters and Secrets Page 2