“I love you. I love them.”
She sucked in a surprised gasp and leaned back in his arms, her eyes wide. “Is this happening right now?”
This time, he let loose a nervous laugh. “Yes. I want you to know how I feel about you. I want you to know I’m all in with you, the boys, and our life together.”
“Mom! Are you coming, or what?” Danny called from the kitchen.
Mason deflated, knowing the rest of this conversation would have to wait. He let loose his hold on Sierra and gave her some space.
She fisted her hand in his tee and held him still, then called out to the boys. “We’ll be right there.” She locked eyes with him and said the words he needed to hear. “I love you, too. I think I have since the beginning.”
He didn’t know if she meant since they got together or from back in the day when their friendship had been just as easy and essential in his life as it was now.
“As much as I want to leap into this with you, I have to think about the boys. Their whole lives have been uprooted. They’re adjusting to a new place, a new school, and making new friends. I’m not sure they’re ready for more.”
He opened his mouth to make his case, but she touched her fingers to his lips to stop him.
“I love that you want us to be part of your life right now. My heart says yes to all of it.”
“But you want to talk to the boys, see where they’re at with you and me and moving in here.”
“Yes. They didn’t get a say in their father leaving, or their house burning down, or us moving back here. Everything has just happened to them. If you and I are going to build a life together, I want them to have their say.”
“I’m pretty sure they’ll be happy here.”
She smiled. “So am I. You’re here.”
“So are the horses and Tom.” The boys loved the animals. Maybe he’d finally get a dog. The boys would love that.
“I think they like you more.”
He caressed her face and kissed her softly. “I like you more than anything.”
Her eyes softened as she took that in.
He kissed her again, knowing she understood how he felt and what he wanted. He could even appreciate that she wanted to do right by her boys and put them first. Too many of his clients never gave a thought to what their kids wanted.
“Mom! Seriously. You’re taking forrrr-everrr.”
Mason chuckled. “I think they’re getting restless.”
“When aren’t they?” She stepped back. “I forgot to tell you. I got the insurance settlement for the contents of the house in the mail this morning. I planned to use it to get me and the kids a new place, but I guess I’ll have to rethink that idea.” She gave him a knowing smile, brightening his day even more.
“Put it away for the boys’ college.”
She nodded and tipped her head. “If your investigator would hurry up and tell me what happened to the fifty grand, I could make better decisions. I’ve still got the loan, plus the mortgage on the house to pay. Do I rebuild, then sell, or simply sell the property and get out from under it?” She held her hands up, then let them drop, unsure what she should do.
She tapped him in the gut. “I hope you have news for me soon.”
He let her walk out of the office without him saying anything about the file in his briefcase and what he knew.
He should tell her. Now.
But he didn’t want to ruin the day or have her think back to the first time he told her he loved her and then crushed her with bad news.
He’d waited this long to speak up. It could wait a little while longer. He didn’t relish confirming what deep down she suspected about the father of her children. Guessing was one thing: knowing was another matter entirely.
Damn David for being a son of a bitch, for lying to his wife and going behind her back the way he did. He was just as bad as some of Mason’s worst clients.
Mason vowed he’d never treat Sierra like that.
It suddenly struck him that if he didn’t tell her the truth now, he was lying to her. And he’d never lie to her. He’d love her and the boys and give them the life David promised them but destroyed.
David had been a coward. Mason refused to be the same.
I need to tell her the truth. Now.
“Sierra,” he called, walking out of the office before he stopped short and found Amy with her two kids in his living room.
“Look who stopped by.” Sierra smiled at him but her eyes held a question.
“I’m so sorry to just show up. I just need to know . . . I have to figure this out,” she rambled, then pushed her two kids toward Sierra. “Go with your aunt. I need to talk to Mason alone for a minute.” The frantic energy coming off Amy made him wonder what happened to make her rush here to talk to him.
This time, he sent a questioning look to Sierra. She shrugged and gathered her niece and nephew into her sides. “Let’s go see what kind of snack Mason has in the kitchen.”
Mason called after her. “I need to tell you something.”
Amy cut him off from going after Sierra. “Please. This can’t wait.”
“Later.” Sierra gave him an apologetic smile and disappeared into the kitchen.
Mason huffed out a sigh and focused on Amy. “What can I do for you?”
“Did my husband speak to you about divorcing me?”
Taken aback, he shook his head. “No.” He didn’t want the kids to overhear, so he held his hand out toward his office. “Let’s step in here and talk about this.”
Amy walked in ahead of him, paced back and forth in front of his desk, then turned to him. “He’s planning to leave me. I know he is.”
“Did he say so?”
“No. But since the weekend you took the kids to breakfast, we’ve barely spoken. He spends even more time at the office. He walks in the house, looks around, then just . . . I don’t know, goes quiet.”
“It sounds like you need to talk to Rex about this.”
“I need you to tell me what happens if he wants a divorce. Will I get the kids? The courts side with the mother, right?” She paced away, then spun back around. “He can’t take my kids.”
Mason had never seen Amy this out of sorts and agitated. “Why don’t you take a seat and tell me what is really going on between you and Rex?”
She fell into the chair and folded her arms across her chest, defensive and angry. “I do everything for him. I cook. I clean. I do all the shopping. The man hasn’t bought a single article of clothing for himself in years. I take care of the kids. Is that enough for him? No.”
“Is that what he said?”
In his practice, he’d learned that often people perceived the other person thought something they’d never said. They put words in the other person’s mouth without ever really talking to them or asking how they really felt. Communication was the one thing people forgot to do when things fell apart. So many of his clients would still be together if they’d simply stopped assuming they knew what the other thought and started talking about it. And listened.
People didn’t really know how to listen anymore. They made everything about them. They wanted to be heard.
“He wants me to change the way I do things. He wants me to change my whole life. Like I’m the only one who has to change to make this work.”
“What exactly does he want you to change?”
She sat up and shouted, “Everything!” She fell back into a pout and folded her arms.
Mason took a breath and tried again, making this about Amy, not Rex. “What do you want to do?”
She opened her mouth, then shut it. It took her a second to finally respond. “I don’t know.” She dropped her gaze to the floor, then looked back at him. “That’s just it. I’m stuck. I created the life I wanted, but . . .”
“Now it’s not working,” he guessed.
“Yes. And no.” She unfolded her arms and sat up. “I know something has to change, but it’s just so much. What if it’s not enough?” Sh
e went quiet, silently winding herself up again with the thoughts running through her head and making her eyes narrow. “I’m taking the kids. He can see them every other weekend. That’s it.”
Mason sighed. “Is that what you really want?”
“I want him to realize that my life isn’t that easy. I don’t sit around all day watching TV and eating ice cream. It takes skill to organize two kids, school, their activities, playdates, homework, managing the house, and getting dinner on the table. I’d like to see him do the grocery shopping. He’d never know what to buy organic and what kind of toilet paper we use. He doesn’t have to think about the dozens of things I have on my plate, the decisions I have to make for our home and family. No. He just comes home, enjoys a home-cooked meal, plays with the kids and puts them to bed. You’d think that’s the end of my day. You’d be wrong. I’ve still got to make lunches for the next day, make sure their homework is in their backpacks and not left on the table, put their instruments or sports gear together and by the door so we don’t forget it, then clean up the dinner dishes and make sure the house is put to rights before I finally get to go to bed. I’m lucky if I get to watch a whole episode of . . . anything.”
“Have you asked Rex to help with any of that stuff?”
“He doesn’t know how to do it or doesn’t do it right and I have to fix it. I might as well do it myself.”
Mason raised an eyebrow. “He doesn’t know how to wash the dishes?”
She rolled her eyes. “He loads the dishwasher completely wrong.”
“So long as the dishes are in there, does it really matter? You’d get that time back?”
“You sound just like him. Why do I have to change the way I do things? Why can’t he learn to do things the way I want them done?”
“Have you shown him how you want it done without it sounding like a lecture or that you’re criticizing him?”
“Great. Now I’m a bitch for wanting things done right.”
Mason held up his hand and shook his head. “No. That’s not what I’m saying at all.” He tried another way to make her understand. “I find that with most of my clients the one thing they neglect to do is express what they want when things are good. Instead, they let resentments and anger build up and then demand the other person do what they want. They fall into patterns and never take the time to break them by having a civil conversation.”
“You want me to go to Rex and explain to him how to fill the dishwasher.”
He held his hands out wide. “Why not? If you told him that if he took over that chore in the evening it would free you up to spend time with him, don’t you think he’d be open to doing it for you? He knows you. He understands you like things done a certain way. I think if you told him it’s important that he does it your way so you aren’t anxious or worried about how it’s done, you could relax and enjoy your time with him without feeling like you had to do everything yourself.”
Her mouth scrunched with uncertainty tinged with anger, but he had her attention.
“I bet Rex could even pack the kids’ lunches or do some of the other things, like get their gear together for the next day, if you showed him how you want it done.”
She didn’t say anything, but he could see the wheels turning.
“If what he wants is more time with you, then put some of the things from your plate on his. Consider trimming some of the things on your to-do list that maybe aren’t so important to you or the kids. This is your life, Amy. If you aren’t happy and fulfilled doing the things you’re doing, let them go. Life is too short to be saying yes to everything only to be miserable doing them.” He took the seat next to hers and put his hand on her knee. “You are an amazing mom. Your kids are fantastic. I see how much you love them. I know a little bit about how much work kids can be from having Danny and Oliver here. After just a few hours, I’m exhausted sometimes. But I love being with them, just like I know you love being with P.J. and Emma. You want them to have everything possible. Which is why I know you don’t want to divorce Rex and take his kids away from him. You know your kids love and need their father. You love and need Rex. He wants things to change. So change by making him change with you. Talk to him. Teach him how to help you. Show him how to make you happy and less anxious.”
“You mean less of a bitch.”
“I doubt very much that’s how he feels. I bet he wants to make things better for you but he doesn’t know how. He’s trying to tell you that, but doesn’t know how to do that, either. You’re wanting something from him but not telling him what that is and how you want it done.
“You guys are great together when you work together. Things have gotten complicated and busy and it maybe feels like things have taken over your life together and you’re not really living it.”
Tears gathered in her eyes. “Yeah. It feels like that. I try to make time for myself, for him, and it all gets away from me.”
“You want to be everything to everyone. I’ve known a lot of women like you, who find it hard to say no. They take on everything. They are smart, capable, strong women just like you. And I have seen them find a new kind of happiness in taking back their lives.”
“You mean after they divorce their husbands.”
“Most of the time, yes. But what if you could find that happiness without losing the love of your life?”
They both caught sight of Sierra in the doorway. “He’s right, you know. You both want to be together. That’s worth fighting for, Amy.”
Amy wiped the tears from her cheeks. “I didn’t know you were eavesdropping.”
“I came to see if it’s okay if I take Emma and P.J. down to the stables, but I’m glad I heard Mason’s sound advice. I could have used some of that with David.”
“You two were having problems?” Amy didn’t hide her surprise.
“Every couple goes through periods where things seem off. Most of the time, you right them by reconnecting. Talking. Other times, you let things go and then it seems like this thing between you. I get it, Amy. Relationships are hard. Some can’t be salvaged. Mom will tell you that. She’s been divorced three times. But you and Rex . . . You two can renovate your relationship.”
Amy laughed at that turn of phrase. “Renovate, huh?”
“It’s been a lot of years. It’s time to revise the chore list, redo the one-on-one time you used to make a priority, and gut the schedule that leaves you no free time for yourself. You are important, Amy. Rex wants to make you a priority, he’s just tired of trying to catch you coming or going all the time.”
Amy wiped away a few more tears, then turned to Mason. “I’ll take everything you’ve said under advisement. I’ll talk to Rex. If this doesn’t work”—she looked from him to Sierra—“will I get the family discount if I need a lawyer?”
Mason didn’t know what to say.
Sierra laughed. “Subtle, Amy.”
“Well, you’ve been kind of quiet about how much time you and Mason have been spending together. I know about the one date, but you’ve been stingy with the details about how it went.”
Sierra radiated happiness. “Mason and I are very happy together. We’re talking about plans for the future.”
Amy sat up straight. “Seriously? How come I didn’t know things were moving so fast?”
“Because I have to consider the boys and what they want.”
Amy deflated a bit. “Yeah. I get that.”
“So I’d appreciate it if you kept things quiet until Mason and I decide it’s time to let the boys in on how serious our relationship is and that we want to make things more permanent.”
Amy’s eyes went wide. “Wow. Just wow. Like I knew you had a thing for each other, but this is so . . . great. I’m happy for you. Both of you.”
Mason stood and went to Sierra, wrapping his arm around her. “Thank you. We’re working toward something really special. I want the boys to be happy to be here with us.”
“Are we staying here?” Oliver asked from the doorway.
&
nbsp; Mason turned to him, then glanced at Sierra, who took over. “We’re going for a ride.”
“You said that forever ago.” With slumped shoulders, Oliver walked to Mason and put his arms up to him.
Mason scooped the little guy up against his chest. “What’s up, bud?”
“Can we go now? Ple-ease?”
Mason chuckled and tickled Oliver’s softly rounded belly. “Yes. Let’s go.” He turned to Amy. “Want to stay a while and let Emma and P.J. ride?”
“Sure.”
Sierra put her arm around Amy’s shoulders and led her out of the office. “It’s going to be okay. You’ve got this. If anyone can reorganize their life, it’s you.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
Sierra looked around Amy’s immaculate house and smiled. Things looked back to normal in the house even if she and Rex hadn’t set their relationship back on the path to bliss. Tonight, she’d give them a chance to talk in peace without their two little ones listening.
“Emma. P.J. Aunt Sierra is here to take you over to Aunt Heather’s for dinner.”
Sierra loved that she got to spend more time with her sisters and the kids. She’d missed this.
“What time will Rex be home?”
“Half an hour if he isn’t still avoiding me.”
Sierra brushed her hand up Amy’s arm and squeezed her shoulder. “You two will work this out.”
Amy huffed out her frustration. “I told the kids’ teachers I can only come in two days a week now. I was home today for the first time and didn’t know what the hell to do with myself.”
“Did you go for a walk? Read a book?”
Amy rolled her eyes. “I reorganized the hall closet.”
“You’ll get better at doing nothing. Maybe you’ll find a hobby or something that you like.”
“Easy for you to say. Everything comes easy to you. I always feel like I should be doing something.”
“You need to learn to give yourself a break. Instead of organizing closets, meet Rex for lunch. Spend some time reconnecting with him.”
“Like you’ve reconnected with Mason.” A knowing twinkle brightened Amy’s eyes.
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