Losing Memphis: A NA Sports Romance (NE University Book 3)

by Hannah Gray

  Clearing my throat, I say, “Lane, putting the feelings I have for you into vows was next to impossible. I feel too many things to ever write them all down. But I’m going to try my best.”

  I glance up at him, and he looks like he’s holding his own breath.

  “We didn’t come to this day by an easy, safe path. We didn’t just decide on forever and to live happily ever after. No”—I shake my head—“that certainly isn’t our story.”

  When I find his eyes, he gives me a smile. And of course, that damn dimple decides to make its appearance, leaving me weak in the knees.

  “But I wouldn’t trade any love story for ours. The struggles, the pain, and the chaos—that’s what makes it ours. I know you say I calm your storm. But honestly, Lane, before you, I never realized I had my own storm inside of me. You brought that out in the most beautiful way. I want to calm your storm when you need it, but I want to dance in the rain and bask in the madness with you as well.”

  Reaching up, I wipe my eyes. “Saying that you make me feel like the only girl in the room is very cliché—I know it is. But truthfully, that is exactly how you make me feel every single day we’re together. For someone who thought they had no love left to give, you ended up being able to love more fiercely than I even knew possible.

  “So, Lane Rivers, I choose you each and every single day for the rest of my life. And then after that, I’ll keep choosing you still. Because I am positive with everything that I am that we have been choosing each other for far more years than we have lived.”

  Lane wipes his eyes with a tissue that Mason handed him. I try not to chuckle at the irony of it. The man who has been crying because he wasn’t chosen as the best man is the one coming in clutch with the damn tissue. I don’t think Trent produces tears, so he probably never gave tissues a thought.

  “Memphis Montgomery”—Lane looks at me—“while that sounds good, Memphis Rivers is going to sound even better.”

  The guests all chuckle at his corny joke, which, of course, makes him smirk.

  “When you found me, I was surrounded by people all the time, and yet I still felt all alone.”

  Tears pool in my eyes, and I blink them away so that I can see my soon-to-be husband.

  “I was angry, ashamed, saddened, empty. Really, any negative feeling you can think of, that’s how I felt.” He pauses, shaking his head the slightest bit. “I thought I’d never get out of that darkness. That this was my life for the rest of time. I couldn’t let go of the past, and I figured I wasn’t meant to. And I accepted that.” Squeezing my hands, he smiles softly. “But you … well, you came in like a damn hurricane. One that was about to make her presence known. And for a while, I tried to fight it. I tried to keep you at arm’s length. But, hell, you didn’t make that easy. And soon, everything I did or wanted became about you. You became the only thing that mattered to me.

  “Memphis, you became my safe place, my best friend, my way back, and … my lifeline.” His eyes look so deeply into mine that it’s like we become one in the same. “You breathed life back into me and made my heart beat again.”

  Now, I’m full-on crying, and all I want to do is hug this beautiful man and bury my head into his familiar chest.

  “You are my forever home. You brought me back to this world, and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my time here making you happy. I love you more than you love Ben & Jerry’s ice cream, more than we both love Marvel, more than you love making people volunteer at the library to read stories to a bunch of little snot-nosed kids at story time.” He pauses. “Oh, and more than I love winters in the South,” he adds.

  I giggle, and we both look to the pastor for the magic words. The rest goes in one ear and out the other.

  The only thing I hear is, “Kiss the bride.”

  Cupping both of my cheeks, he leans in, giving me the most anticipated kiss I will probably ever have.

  I feel like I unknowingly spent my whole life waiting for him to come along. And for the rest of time, if all I ever am is Mrs. Rivers, I have to say, I’ll be all right with that.

  “I love you, Mrs. Rivers.” He smirks, leaning his forehead against mine.

  “I love you more, husband.”

  “Husband. I like the sound of that.” He presses another kiss to my lips.

  Me too, love. Me too.

  For some people, they fear they will lose the person they were before they found their soul mate. They worry that who they become will overtake the previous version of themselves, canceling it out. They say to never lose yourself in a man. But the truth is? Before Lane, I didn’t even know who I was or where I was going. And honestly, I still don’t. But one thing I do know is that wherever the heck it is, I’m going there, hand in hand, with my new husband. Forever and ever and even after that.

  Other Books by Hannah Gray

  NE UNIVERSITY SERIES

  Chasing Sunshine

  Seeing Red

  Losing Memphis

  playlist

  This playlist can also be found on Spotify.

  “What Ya Gonna Do” by Hinder

  “Red” by Taylor Swift

  “Whiskey to My Soul” by Roan Ash

  “You Broke Me First” by Tate McRae

  “Black Cadillac” by Shinedown

  “Villain” by Lily Rose

  “18 Days” by Saving Abel

  “Shake It Off” by Taylor Swift

  “Better Together” by Luke Combs

  “Hate Me” by Ellie Goulding, Juice WRLD

  “Not Afraid” by Eminem

  “Nothin’ But a Good Time” by Poison

  “Whiskey and You” by Aaron Lewis

  acknowledgments

  I’m a little sad that the NE University series is now complete. Memphis and Lane have an incredibly deep, beautiful connection, and it was an honest privilege to write their story. This series is very near and dear to my heart. As they are what started my career as an author.

  Over the past year, these characters showed themselves to me, unraveling each of their stories. At times, I could be doing something as simple as the dishes or throwing laundry in, and their voices would flow through my mind, letting me know what part to write next. I’d race to my laptop or even my cell phone and quickly type in this new information. Cameran and Trent, Anna and Mason, and Memphis and Lane have all helped me through this pandemic. I am thankful for all of them.

  As always, first and foremost, I need to thank my daughters, Charlotte and Carter. As well as my newest baby girl, Ava Rose, born Christmas Eve 2020—aka right in the midst of the madness of crafting this book. To say it was challenging at times would be an understatement. But the days I was overwhelmed felt so much sweeter after I crossed the finish line. Ava was a light at the end of an all-around rough and trying year. I love the three of you so very much. You are all the reasons why Mommy wants to do better and to reach something that is important to me.

  My husband, my rock and often my voice of reason. Thank you for always pushing me to step outside of my comfort zone in life. You’ve told me time and time again that I won’t ever know if I don’t ever try. You’ve stepped up, taking time away from your own work to help me with the girls so that I could write. I love you, and I don’t know what I would do without you. Together, we make one hell of a team.

  My big, squishy-face dog, Hank. It might seem odd to thank a dog. But you are so much more than that. So many times, when I have found myself overwhelmed this past year—which, let’s face it, has been a lot during this damn pandemic—I’ve curled up next to you and sobbed, and you’ve put your big head on my neck and nuzzled in closer. Letting me know that it’s okay. And that I’m okay. Life is truly better with a dog.

  My mom, my ride or die and my very best friend. I’ll never have a bigger cheerleader than you. I might not always express it out loud, but trust me when I say, you are my hero. You believe in me when I don’t even believe in myself. You taught me how to be strong, kind, selfless, patient, thoughtful, and the
list goes on. I love you more than words can say.

  My dad, the person who I can always count on to make me laugh. I cherish our time together more than you know. Thank you for believing in me and for pushing me to be the best that I can. When things got tough when finishing this book, I remembered the day you had taken me to get my license, and I was so nervous. You said, “You’ll do fine. This is one milestone you need to get through. There will be much harder ones ahead. But you have to pass that test and get through this one first.” I think we both figured I would fail at least one time—we all know my driving is crap. Yet, with your words in my mind, I passed.

  My incredible editor, Jovana Shirley at Unforeseen Editing. Look, I’ll cut to the chase. We both know when I send over my manuscript, you’ve got your work cut out for you. Yet every time, you help me craft my books to reach their full potential. I am so, so thankful that I was sent in your direction.

  To the most fantastic publicist on this planet, Autumn Ganz. Where do I begin? Without you, my writing life would basically be a disaster, to put it lightly. You keep me organized, on track, and focused on my goals. There’s something to be said about the amount of time you spend with each and every one of your authors. You build relationships with each of us, catering to all of our needy asses. I’m so happy that I found you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

  Tatum Hanscom, who has not only been my trusty beta reader for all three books, but also an incredible friend. You truly are one of those people who gives your friendships one hundred and ten percent. You check in on me continuously and lift my spirits when they are down. Your honest feedback has been so appreciated during this series.

  And finally, to my readers. I’ll be honest, sharing the stories I wrote wasn’t easy. I was scared of rejection, judgment, and failure. But knowing that someone out there has not only read my words, but also felt them makes all my fears worth it—whether that feeling is crying happy tears, holding your breath while an intense part is playing out, or laughing as the characters’ sense of humor comes to life on the pages. I just want to help people escape into a land of happily ever afters. Where the men are muscular, hot, and broody. And the women are strong and sassy. Thank you for reading my words. You rock!

  about the author

  Hannah Gray spends her days in vacationland, living in a small, quaint town on the coast of Maine. She is an avid reader of contemporary romance and is always in competition with herself to read more books every year.

  During the day, she loves on her two perfect-to-her daughters and tries to be the best mom she can be. But once she tucks them in at night—okay, scratch that. Once they fall asleep next to her in her bed—because their bedrooms apparently have monsters in them—she dives into her own fantasy world, staying awake well into the late-night hours, typing away stories about her characters. As much as she loves being a wife and mom—and she certainly does love it—reading and writing are her outlet, giving her a place to travel far away while still physically being with her family.

  She married her better half in 2013, and he’s been putting up with her craziness every day since. As her anchor, he’s her one constant in this insane, forever-changing world.