The Line That Binds

by Carolyn LaRoche

  Vivian looked up at him. "She knows it!"

  "Really? Because what I heard her say in the hospital is that if I'd had his back, Gary'd still be alive. And she's fucking right."

  Vivian picked up the remote and stood up. "You know she doesn't really think that. I told you she apologized. But, no one can convince you but yourself. I'll only be gone for a couple of hours." She handed him the remote and started to walk from the room, stopping in the doorway. "I love you, Antonio, and we are going to get through this. Together."

  Chapter Three

  Marietta

  The Hart house was unusually quiet and dark. For as long as she'd been friends with Eleanor, lights had always shone in all of the front windows once the sun began to set. Even the porch light was off though and that just wasn't like her friend. In one hand, she carried a bag with food and the other she used to ring the doorbell.

  A shiver ran down her spine as the sound of the bell echoed beyond the door. She pulled her coat in tighter with her free hand. The whole house felt like it was in mourning.

  If Eleanor's car hadn't been sitting in the driveway next to the Jeep her two boys shared, she'd have left. The porch was covered with boxes and bags and she could smell fried chicken. Marietta rang the doorbell once more. And rang it again. Finally, on the fourth try she heard sound coming from inside. The porch light snapped on and the front door opened slowly.

  Eleanor looked through the space between the frame and the door then pulled it all the way open. "Marietta. Come in. I guess I fell asleep. The boys are locked in their room with their headphones on playing video games. Oh, wow. What's all this?"

  Marietta shrugged. "Vivian says it’s the southern way."

  Eleanor actually smiled a tiny bit and grabbed a few bags. "I'll send the boys out to get the rest in a bit. It's cold enough that it will keep a bit longer."

  "You and the boys sure won't go hungry." She followed Eleanor to the kitchen where she deposited the trays of food she carried onto the counter. "I brought you enchiladas and rice with beans. Also, a cheesecake. Eat my food first."

  "Thank you. You know yours is the best." Eleanor half-smiled again and pointed toward a counter top already loaded with casserole dishes. The scent of more fresh fried chicken mingled with the savory fragrance of macaroni and cheese and about a dozen other flavors. "You can set it down there."

  "Looks like you've been getting deliveries all day." Three flower arrangements sat on the kitchen table. "Those are pretty."

  "I don't even know who they are from. I guess the boys have been handling it. I took a shower and laid down. Been in bed most of the day. I wasn't in the mood to entertain."

  Eleanor turned on the lights and Marietta got her first good look at her friend. Black circles under her red rimmed eyes made Eleanor's naturally fair skin look downright pasty. Her shoulder length brown hair looked like she hadn't bothered to brush it after a shower. Her usually bright green eyes seemed dull and empty. Unable to stand it anymore, she grabbed her friend up in a hug.

  "I'm so sorry, mi amiga. Gary—" The rest of her sentence was lost in the flood of sobs that overtook her. They stood there, clinging to each other and crying until neither of them had any tears left.

  The front door opened just as they were each grabbing a tissue and Vivian entered the kitchen holding a wine bottle in each hand. "I come bearing gifts!" she announced but stopped walking when she saw Marietta and Eleanor. "I'm too late."

  She set the bottles down on the table and collapsed into a chair.

  "What do you mean, you're too late?" Marietta asked.

  "I planned on getting us all drunk and emotional but you two beat me to it."

  Eleanor dabbed at her eyes. "Not to worry, Viv. Wine is always welcome." She grabbed three glasses from a cabinet and carried them to the table.

  "We are emotional but not yet drunk." Marietta pulled the cheesecake out of its box. "I've got dinner."

  "It smells delicious." Eleanor lifted the corner of the foil on one of the trays.

  "Not that." She motioned to the cheesecake. "This. Now you sit down and let me cook for you."

  "Cheesecake for dinner?"

  Marietta nodded. "Abuella swore it was the cure for any heart ache."

  To her surprise, Eleanor actually laughed and wrapped an arm around each of them, pulling them in for a group hug. "Thank you, both. I don't know what I'd do without either of you."

  "Good, 'cause you're stuck with us."

  Eleanor stepped back and reached for a tissue that she used to blot the tears from her eyes.

  "Come, eat." Marietta dished up three plates of desert while Vivian poured the wine. Eleanor took a seat, pulling out her phone. As she plated the cheesecake, Marietta watched Eleanor. She looked at her phone, frowned and then slammed it onto the table.

  "Everything okay?" Marietta set a plate down beside Eleanor's cell phone.

  Eleanor flipped her phone over to show a news article with Gary's picture. "It's the comments people make."

  "Don't read them, sweetie," Vivian said. "They don't deserve your attention."

  "I haven't even made his final arrangements yet and people are already saying terrible things about him and the department."

  "Only a select few idiots, El. Most people are going to show their support for you and the boys. Did you see your front porch tonight?" Vivian asked.

  Eleanor leaned her head into her hands. "I don't know how to do this. I've been a cop's wife for over twenty years. All of a sudden, I'm a cop's widow. What do I do now?"

  "Well, the first thing you are going to do is drink this glass of wine." Vivian set a glass on the table in front of Eleanor. "And then the three of us will start to figure it out together."

  "And eat that cheesecake," Marietta said.

  "It's a wonder you've stayed so thin." Vivian took a forkful of the creamy desert. "Mmm…this is so good."

  Eleanor sat back and picked up her glass of wine, downing half the glass in one sip. "I've never been a drown my sorrows in booze kind of girl but I feel like I could make an exception for my husband being murdered." She finished the rest of the wine.

  Marietta stopped chewing the bite of desert she'd just scooped up and Vivian set her glass of wine on the table.

  "What?" Eleanor asked, shrugging. "It's true."

  "I'd say you're well within your rights on that one." Marietta got up and grabbed the bottle off the counter, pouring wine into Eleanor's glass all the way to the top. She then topped her own glass off. Eleanor's admission hit her hard. Ricky could have been the one that died. "There's plenty more where this came from."

  "I miss him so much already. I can't even imagine going to bed tonight without hearing his voice one more time." A tear trailed down Eleanor's cheek but she made no move to wipe it way.

  "Oh, sweetie, I know." Marietta placed a hand over hers. "None of us ever expected anything like this. I can't begin to imagine how you feel." The knowledge that Ricky had been the first one to pull the car over sat heavy on her shoulders. If the guy hadn't run off; if he'd chosen that intersection to start shooting—well, it could have been any of them in Eleanor's place right then.

  "Anytime you want to borrow Antonio, he's yours," Vivian said. "I mean, if you miss the farting, dirty laundry all over the place, and the occasional urine on the bathroom floor, I can hook you up."

  Eleanor sniffed and cracked a tiny smile. "Gee, thanks, Viv. You're a really good friend."

  Marietta went to the powder room and grabbed the box of tissues off the back of the toilet. When she returned to the kitchen, she found Eleanor and Vivian laughing hysterically.

  "What'd I miss?" she asked, setting the tissue on the table in front of Eleanor.

  "Vivian was just reminding me about the time the guys had to chase that naked guy down the street."

  "You mean the one that had jumped through the window?"

  "Yes!" Vivian and Eleanor said at the same time, then dissolved in a new round of laughter.

  "He
thought he was some kind of super hero or something. He kept running back and forth in the middle of the road yelling I can fly!" Marietta said.

  "I'd forgotten about that!" Vivian laughed too.

  "And poor Gary was the one who had to tackle him to the ground. I remember he came home that night going on about how some guy's junk had rubbed all over his uniform and he had no choice but to burn the clothes." Eleanor grabbed a tissue and dabbed at the corners of her eyes. "Gary could be a little dramatic sometimes."

  "Not just Gary. Antonio whined for days about having the guy's naked ass rubbing all over the backseat of his car."

  "Dinner table conversation is about to get a whole lot more boring around here without Gary's stories." They all fell silent then.

  The quiet was interrupted by heavy footsteps running down the steps. "Hey, Mom! I smell Mexican food!" Jackson appeared in the doorway to the kitchen. "Oh, hi, Ms. Vivian. Hi, Ms. Mari."

  "You're in some kind of luck—Ms. Mari cooked."

  "Jameson!" Jackson yelled toward the upstairs. "You gotta get down here!"

  Marietta walked over to the counter and grabbed a serving spoon from a drawer. She peeled back the foil wrap from both the trays.

  Jameson walked in to the kitchen looking exhausted, his eyes red rimmed. "Got anything good? I'm starving."

  "All this food here and you are hungry?" Eleanor asked.

  He shrugged. "Nothing was appealing."

  "How does homemade enchiladas and rice and beans sound?" Marietta asked

  "Load me up," Jackson replied. "Your food is always the best."

  "Too bad you don't get any." Jameson intercepted the dish that Marietta had filled and handed to Jackson.

  Jackson responded by smacking his brother on the back of the head. Jameson put the plate down and grabbed Jackson up in a headlock.

  "Say you like to wear pink women's underwear and I'll let you go!"

  "You like to wear pink women's underwear!" Jackson flipped around so that he slipped out of his brother's grip.

  "Come on, you two. There's plenty for both of you. You know I only know how to cook for a crowd." Marietta dished up a second plate of food.

  "Fine. But only because I'm hungry." Jameson picked up his plate and settled on one of the stools at the breakfast bar.

  "Tony around this weekend?" Jackson asked Vivian. "Maybe he wants to hang?"

  "I'm sure he'd love to see you both," Vivian replied.

  Eleanor frowned. "We've got a lot to do the next few days, boys."

  "I know, Mom. I just thought, since we were home, we'd hang out."

  "Yeah," Jameson said. "We haven't seen Tony since summer."

  Eleanor held her hands up in surrender. "Okay. Fine."

  Marietta set a hand on her shoulder. "It would be good for all of them, Eleanor."

  "This food is so good." As Jackson spoke, a couple bits of rice flew out of his mouth when he spoke, dotting the front of his t-shirt.

  Marietta laughed. "I'm glad you like it."

  "Before you disappear again, there's stuff on the porch that needs to come inside."

  "I got it, Mom." Jameson ran to the front door and returned a few moments later loaded down with boxes and bags.

  When the boys finished their meals and headed back to their rooms, Eleanor leaned back in her chair and sighed. "It's like it hasn't hit them yet."

  "Everybody copes in their own way." Vivian raised her glass. "We drink. They play video games and eat copious amounts of Mexican food."

  "I'm Puerto Rican! It's Puerto Rican food!" Marietta said, holding up the tray of enchiladas. "See?"

  "It all looks the same to me." Vivian gave her friend a sly smile.

  Marietta muttered some curses in Spanish as she scooped up a plate of food for herself. "You wouldn't know good food if it slapped you in the face."

  Eleanor let out a heavy sigh. "I have to find a funeral home. I don't even know where to begin. We never planned for any of this. There was supposed to be time."

  Vivian set her plate down next to the one with her cheesecake and dropped into her chair. "Mason's Funeral Home has done several officer funerals. They work closely with the police department and offer their services at a discount for officers."

  "How do you know that, Viv?" Marietta asked.

  "Tony Jr. is friends with their youngest boy, Mark. They play basketball together. I've talked to his mom several times at games. Her father was police officer that was killed in the line of duty so she and her husband decided that was how they could give back."

  "I guess it would make sense to start there then." Eleanor took a long sip of her wine then set the glass down with another in a long line of heavy sighs.

  "Tell them I sent you," Vivian said. "That I know Laura."

  "I could go with you if you want?" Marietta offered. "I'm no expert but it might help."

  Eleanor nodded. "I'd like that." She leaned forward and rested her head on her arms on the table. "I don't want to do any of this."

  Vivian wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "I know, honey. I know."

  A little ding sounded an incoming text on Marietta's phone. She swiped it open and read the message. "Ricky says he and Connor are heading the team to go after the guy that shot Gary. They've had a tip come in and they are on their way to check it out."

  "Tell them to be careful," Eleanor said. "We don't need to plan two funerals."

  Just then Vivian's phone indicated an incoming text as well, hers from Antonio. She read it out loud.

  Vasquez is on his way to get the guy. I should be there. This fucking sucks.

  "Tell him Ricky will keep him in the loop." Marietta pointed to her phone. "I'll tell him to."

  A minute later, Antonio typed back. She read that one aloud as well. "He says, Can you come home now?" Vivian closed her eyes and took a deep breath, "I'm so sorry, Eleanor. I have to go."

  Marietta reached over and touched her friend's hand. "Everything okay?"

  "Antonio’s having a rough time dealing with everything. I don't want him to be alone but I want to be here for Eleanor."

  Eleanor waved a hand without looking up. "Go. He needs you. I understand."

  "I'll stay here as long as Eleanor needs me. You go take care of your honey." Marietta squeezed her hand lightly. "He needs you."

  Vivian gave them both hugs. "I love you girls. Call me if you need anything, El. I mean it."

  Eleanor waved a hand toward the front door. "I will. Go take care of your man. You're lucky to still have him."

  Chapter Four

  Vivian

  Eleanor's words brought tears to her eyes as she put on her jacket and left the house. She knew her friend didn't mean anything bad by it but the words cut through her, knowing that Antonio was part of the reason that Gary was no longer alive. They all knew it wasn't her husband's fault. Everyone except Antonio anyway.

  The drive home was short, thankfully. Traffic had lightened considerably now that the evening rush hour had passed. The house was uncharacteristically dark when she pulled into the driveway. Aside from the light shining from Tony's windows, it looked like no one was home. Unlocking the front door, she pushed it open and called out like she always did.

  "I'm home! Antonio, you here?"

  The silence that responded caused her heart rate to kick up a couple of notches as she walked down the hallway toward the kitchen and family room.

  "Antonio! I'm home. Where are you?"

  Still no response. Adrenaline flooded her body as she practically ran to the back of the house. He'd just asked her to come home not twenty minutes earlier. He wasn't in the kitchen and the couch in the family room was empty. Vivian ran to the stairs, taking them two at a time as she called her husband's name over and over with no response.

  Her son's door stood open. He lay on his bed with his headphones covering his ears, holding a text book up in front of him.

  Their bedroom door was closed when she stopped in front of it. No sound came from the other side. She
gripped the knob with one hand and made the sign of the cross with the other. "Please, God, let him be okay."

  Taking a huge breath, she pushed the door open. The ceiling fan was on but all the lights were off. She could barely make out the shape of someone on the bed. Flipping on the lights, she saw Antonio sprawled out on his stomach, one arm hanging off the bed.

  "Antonio!" Vivian ran across the room and then stopped before touching him. Several empty bottles littered the night stand. One had fallen over and a puddle of liquid had formed on the carpet. The air held the scent of stale beer.

  Very gently, she reached in and felt for a pulse on his neck, all the while watching for some sign of life. As her icy cold fingers made contact with warm Antonio's skin, he grunted and rolled over.

  "Antonio! Thank God! You scared the crap out of me!"

  One of his eyelids fluttered open. "What kind of bullshit is that? Of course, I'm alive." He lifted an arm and halfheartedly reached toward her. "I'm just drunk. Very, very drunk." He let his arm fall limply on the bed beside him.

  She crawled across the bed and curled up next to him, resting her head on his shoulder and wrapping an arm across his chest. "You scared me."

  "Hmmm…" he replied.

  "I thought you'd done something stupid."

  Antonio turned his head to look at her through watery, bloodshot eyes. "You thought I killed myself?"

  "Well, yeah."

  He chuckled, kind of. "Baby girl, if I wanted to do that I'd eat my gun, not drink myself to death. It's a hell of lot quicker."

  "What the hell, Antonio? You've thought about it?"

  "Well, yeah. Once or twice over the years. It's no big deal."

  She sat up and glared down at him. "It sure is a big deal!"

  He reached up and pulled her back down on the bed. "I'm sorry I scared you. I didn't try to kill myself, nor do I plan to in the future."

  Vivian relaxed slightly. "Well, I don't know what you expected me to think. You text and tell me you need me to come home then I find you face down on the bed."

  Moving his hand up onto his chest, he wrapped it around hers. "I was already wasted when I texted. I just missed you. Didn't mean to scare you."