Ties That Bind (Club Risque Book 3)

by Poppy Flynn

  "I just wanted to see if she had time for a lunch date before she goes away," Luanna snapped testily then kicked herself for the uncharacteristic defensiveness and rolled her eyes. This whole deal was making her way too oversensitive!

  "Great idea," Laurel threw back cheerfully. "I'll check when she's free and pencil you in then let you know."

  She narrowed her eyes at Laurel. The younger girl was always bubbly and lively, but Luanna had a suspicion that she was nowhere near as shallow and flighty as her personality sometimes implied. The fact that Desi, a complete workaholic, insisted that her PA climb the corporate ladder along with her was testament to that, but Luanna always thought that Laurel saw very much deeper into everyone and everything than anybody realised. The girl definitely had hidden depths. Right now, Luanna felt as if Laurel, somehow, could see right down into the secrets of her soul.

  "Okay, thanks," she said a little stiffly, before returning to her desk.

  True to her word, Laurel called back within the hour and told Luanna she'd not only pencilled the lunch date in but had made reservations at a popular local bistro, and Luanna had to ask herself, what on earth she'd been worried about.

  She knew the answer to that when, two days later, she turned up for their lunch date to find both Desi and Laurel waiting for her at the bistro.

  Luanna pursed her lips and tried not let her irritation show as she sat down and greeted the two women and proceeded to order her food as if she had no other expectation for this meeting than decent food, good company and trivial conversation.

  While Desi was a great deal more circumspect, Laurel had no such qualms and launched strait in, in her usual bulldozer style. "So, how's it going with the luscious Logan?" she asked with a cheeky grin. "Have you uncovered his kinky side yet?"

  Luanna stopped with a forkful of food halfway to her mouth and just stared at her, glad she hadn't made it all the way to her mouth, or she may well have choked.

  "Laurel!" Desi warned, frowning at the younger woman. "They might not have gotten to that," she said in a low voice, but there was no way Luanna didn't hear, especially with her focus pinned on them both.

  Laurel merely scoffed at that idea. "Of course, they have! Why do you think she was so keen to set up a lunch date?"

  "Because we're friends, and I'm going away for a while?" Desi returned sarcastically, shaking her head and throwing Luanna an apologetic look. And as if it explained everything, she added, "This is Luanna we're talking about, here!"

  Laurel looked from Luanna to Desi as if that idea had never crossed her mind, and Luanna could feel the colour rising from low down on her chest and flowing up to suffuse her face until she knew she was an unattractive shade of mortified.

  Seeing her discomfort, Desi gave Laurel a sharp elbow to the ribs. "You've embarrassed her now!" she chided.

  For the first time, Laurel looked somewhat contrite. Taking a quick look around them, she leaned forward and whispered, "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to upset you."

  Luanna reached for her water glass and took a large gulp. Clearing her throat, she replied tentatively, "It's okay, I'm not upset. You just surprised me, that's all. I had no idea you were aware or even familiar with Logan's, um, fetishes."

  At that, Laurel looked completely nonplussed. Then she let out a small cry and immediately slapped her hand across her mouth, darting a glance at the other clientele once again. Lowering her voice, once again, Laurel apologised once more, "I really am so sorry, Luanna," she said earnestly. "It didn't occur to me that you weren't aware of the rest of us!"

  "The rest of you?" Luanna uttered faintly.

  Desi rolled her eyes. "Jeez, Laurel. When you make a leap, you really do jump in with both feet, and right now, the pair of them are in your mouth!"

  To Luanna, she said, "Just ignore her. Since the new club opened, she's like an overzealous child!"

  Luanna looked from one to the other and said the first thing that came into her head. "You mean Club Risqué? Are you both members?"

  Now it was their turn to stare. Then Laurel started to laugh. Desi, on the other hand, picked up on the subtleties and waved Laurel to quiet down.

  "I know I've mentioned my own situation in the past, Luanna, but since you emphasised the word 'both', I can only assume that you were already aware of my own involvement at the club and that would imply that Logan has discussed it with you." She waited momentarily for Luanna to nod her confirmation before smiling and adding, "I'm glad."

  For once, it was Laurel's turn to look bewildered. Desi just laughed when she saw the look on her face. "I encouraged Logan to explain my role in the Shibari display we did," she finally conceded. "Did you want to ask me anything about that?" she queried seriously.

  "No, I did want some insights into the lifestyle, since I'm totally unfamiliar with it, but I wanted to talk generalities, not about that, in particular," Luanna admitted, suddenly not knowing quite where to look as it suddenly occurred to her that Logan—her boyfriend, for want of a better word—had shared intimacies with this woman that she didn't know quite how to quantify. Like tying her up naked, just a few weeks ago. While Luanna had been quick to jump to Joel's feeling on the matter and how the surrounding implications impacted on her relationship with Logan, she realised, only in this moment, that she had never considered quite how she felt about it, herself. She had considered it from every other angle except her own. Why was that? Denial?

  For long seconds, Luanna grappled with the reality that had just hit her between the eyes with the force of a two by four plank of wood. The new man in her life had had his hands all over the naked body of the woman who sat in front of her. Someone who had become a close friend. Most women would have thrown him out, slammed the door and never given him the time of day again. And yet she had forgiven him everything that had been bothering her, overlooked a whole bunch of other stuff, completely blanked a few things she should have given a lot more thought to and topped it all off by allowing him—no, asking him—to take her to bed and tie her up. Dear God, what was wrong with her?

  Desi noticed how pale and quiet Luanna had abruptly become, and even Laurel seemed to realise something was amiss, since she was unusually still.

  "Luanna, are you all right?" Desi's voice sounded a long way away.

  Luanna looked up at her friend slowly then closed her eyes and rubbed both hands over her face before she groaned out loud. "God dammit, there's just so much I don't understand about all this!" she finally conceded.

  Desi's hand shot across the table to where she had hers clasped on the tabletop and squeezed them in a silent show of support. "The lifestyle is very confusing when you find it unexpectedly. Especially if you come to it a little older."

  Next to them, Laurel snorted. Desi hushed her again.

  "What I mean is that when you're young and first exploring your own sexuality, you try stuff out and you take it or leave it. Youth makes you bold and experimental in a way that you're not likely to be so impulsive about later in life. You're far more cautious with these sort of ideas as you get older and more set in your thinking. And when it's something you're being introduced to, rather than seeking out for yourself because maybe you've always wanted to try it but never had the opportunity…well, then it's much more difficult because you're not only trying to please someone else, but you're possibly fighting beliefs that you've grown into adulthood with.

  Luanna gazed at Desi with renewed respect. This woman was so very put together, and clearly, she knew what she was talking about. Luanna wished she'd brought the topic up sooner, because she knew she'd have a ton more questions that Desi wouldn't be here to answer after the end of the week.

  "Was it like that for you?" she queried, eager to gain some of the understanding her friend could impart.

  "Not exactly," Desi admitted. "I got into the lifestyle when I was eighteen, and I loved it. For about a year and a half, I lived and breathed it, but I turned my back on it after a misunderstanding and only took it up again recently."
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  "When you met Joel?"

  Desi chewed on her bottom lip as if considering how much to divulge, then she shrugged and smiled. "Actually, it was Joel who introduced me to BDSM. My involvement with the lifestyle has only ever been through him."

  "Whoa!" Laurel exclaimed in shock. "Back up, lady; I've missed something here! Are you saying that you and Joel had a thing going over a decade ago?"

  Desi smiled a secret smile that highlighted her single dimple. "Yes," was all she said.

  "Well…" Laurel was unaccustomedly speechless, but it didn't last long, and the young woman was obviously unashamedly inquisitive. "So, did you know all of them back then, or just Joel?"

  Luanna tipped her head, hating to admit to her own curiosity at the answer, but she couldn't deny it was definitely there, even though she would have balked at asking the question herself.

  Desi raised her eyebrows in surprise, as if she'd thought they'd always known the answer, then she shrugged. "I met Joel and Jake at University, Logan was there, too, but I only really met him through the BDSM club we all visited."

  Luanna mulled over that information. So Logan and Desi went way back. Much further than she had imagined.

  "Not Connor?" Laurel prodded. Luanna knew the bubbly blonde had a thing for Connor; did she have questions about his relationship with Desi, as well? Although Laurel would be far more familiar with the lifestyle dynamics than Luanna, herself, was. Maybe it all made sense to her.

  Desi shook her head. "Not Connor," she concurred. "Although, I think he must have come on the scene at about the same time as I left, because I know they've all known each other for over a decade. But I didn't meet him until he came here for the takeover."

  Laurel was unusually quiet for a while, an odd look settling over her features that wasn't missed by her boss.

  "What?" Desi asked bluntly.

  Laurel sighed theatrically. "I thought you had something going with him a while back," she revealed finally.

  Desi's eyes widened in clear shock, and Luanna was sure hers mirrored them.

  "Why on earth would you think that?" Desi demanded.

  "Just some things he said, a time or two," she conceded.

  Desi's eyebrows beetled together, and she had a faraway look in her eyes as if she was thinking back to recall certain details. Then she narrowed her eyes at Laurel. "In the interests of friendship and full disclosure, I'll say this once, and then the subject is closed and none of it's up for discussion," she said stiffly.

  "We did a scene, a few months ago," she divulged quietly, still observing Laurel closely. Luanna had no idea what was going on, but clearly something was up. She hoped she hadn't opened a huge can of worms that would come back to haunt them all.

  "It was a private one, set up by Joel and which Jake talked me into. The reasons are personal," she said with an air of finality that broached no argument. Maybe it was something Desi wasn't wholly comfortable with, either.

  Then she pinned Luanna with a very direct look. "It involved Logan, too," she disclosed.

  "We were intimate, all of us, but I did not have intercourse with either Logan or Connor, nor have I ever," she finished uncomfortably, though Luanna sensed that her discomfort wasn't related to the act or to the telling, but rather something far more intrinsic and personal to the situation she had found herself in. As little as she knew about BDSM, she sensed that this had been no ordinary scene.

  "I know that, "Luanna replied softly, reaching across the table to squeeze Desi's arm. "Logan told me as much. There's no hard feelings from me." For the first time, Luanna realised that much was true.

  "I know you're sincere in that sentiment, but no matter what you say, I know it's got to be weird for you. You don't have the same background as we do. But the Shibari demo, the other week?" Desi offered. "I hope it'll make you feel better to know that it wasn't Kinbaku, and I can only hope that Logan has enlightened you in the subtleties of that distinction, since that's his area of expertise and he can explain better than I can." She paused while Luanna nodded her understanding. "Logan is a Shibari Master; his skills are sought after for both demonstrations and in teaching, but with Logan, that's often all there is to it. Nothing more intimate. He takes his art seriously and doesn't take things further, simply because the opportunity is there. That's always been his way, for as long as I've known him."

  Desi thought, then smiled. "If it helps, his role that weekend was similar to that of a bridal dresser, like the one we all used for my wedding. They see you naked; they help you dress; they have their hands all over you, adjusting your boobs or skimming your butt to make sure your clothes are on straight and your knicker line doesn't show, but when all is said and done, it's just their job to get you ready and send you off looking your best for the main event. The scene with Logan at the club was like that. He was just dressing me in ropes, highlighting his own skills for all to see, but just so that I was ready to continue the scene with Joel; then he was finished. That's all there was to it. Job done."

  Luanna returned a wide, genuine smile. "Yes, it does help to look at it like that. Thank you."

  Desi looked at Luanna in relief but still viewed Laurel with something akin to suspicion, and Luanna knew there was more.

  "I was a little jealous," Laurel admitted. "I know it wasn't my place to be, because Connor and I have no contract, but I thought you were muscling into what I considered to be my territory," she said with a miffed tone.

  Desi's mouth opened in a perfect 'o' and she stared at Laurel in astonishment for a long moment. "Is that what all the snubs were about?" she accused. "All those snippy comments and the brushoffs? You were giving me the cold shoulder because of Connor?"

  Laurel had the decency to look somewhat abashed and gave a tiny nod.

  Desi huffed out a breath. "You should know better, Laurel," she admonished gently, taking her PA's hand. "Connor is an unattached Dom, and he doesn't show any signs of changing that, anytime soon. Not for anyone. You're going to set yourself up for a huge fall, if you're not careful."

  Laurel nodded her acceptance unhappily. "I know. I just can't help how I feel about him," she murmured quietly, her whole character seeming to deflate before their eyes.

  "I'm serious, Laurel. Whatever is going on between you and Connor, you're far more involved than he is."

  Desi hesitated, wondering if she should reveal the rest but then decided that tough love was sometimes the best option.

  "I know you and Connor have been involved since he arrived that first day at Universal—what, nine, maybe ten months ago—but after the scene I just told you about which was maybe only four months ago, he offered to play with me anytime I felt like hitting him up. So, for that six months where you've been playing with him and nobody else, he's still keeping his options open. And he wasn't just saying it, Laurel. He was absolutely serious, and I'm not telling you this to upset you, I just don't want you to see you become too dedicated to a Dom who won't ever see you as anything more than a passing playmate. He's not the type to even see you as an exclusive contractual submissive, even a temporary one. It's not the way he operates."

  Desi grabbed both Laurel's hands in both of hers and was completely earnest. "Connor is a good man and a good Dom, but he lives and breathes the BDSM singles lifestyle, and you'll only ever be just another sub to him. Please don't invest too much of yourself in him. I don't want to see you get hurt."

  Tears welled in Laurel's big blue eyes, but she blinked them back with determination. "I know that," she choked. "I really do, but he just has some damn hold on me that I can't seem to shake off." Laurel took a deep breath, and Luanna watched as she pulled herself together, her empathy going out to the girl who very obviously had feelings that weren't returned in the same capacity. It echoed right back to her own high school days with James. She knew all too well just how that type of rejection felt.

  "But I'm fine." Laurel waved a hand in front of her. "I don't have any unrealistic expectations about Connor."

 
But the way her eyes jerked off to the left as she said it, instead of holding their gazes, had Luanna fearing that might be otherwise. For Laurel's sake, she really hoped not.

  "I'm a club submissive, just like Connor is a club Dom. We're both in it for the lifestyle and the variety, unlike you involved types," she snorted with a large dose of what Luanna viewed as false bravado.

  If Desi thought the same, then she let it go and turned her attention back to Luanna. "Honestly, I think Laurel's right. There are two distinct kinds of submissive," she pondered. "Those who are in the lifestyle because of a partner and probably wouldn't be involved otherwise, like me and probably you. And those like Fluff…" She tipped her head toward Laurel. "…who are in it for the lifestyle and choose their partners accordingly." The conversation turned general again, and that was probably just as well.

  "Fluff?"

  "That's my club name," Laurel explained, recovering herself. "It gives us anonymity in the outside world. Miss Desirae, here, goes by Daisy. Not very inspired!"

  Luanna shook her head. "I have a real problem with the submissive thing," she sighed. To her surprise, the other two just laughed.

  Desi patted her hand. "Believe me, you're not alone there. That's one of the biggest stumbling blocks for most women coming into the lifestyle, whatever their age!"

  Laurel nodded her blonde streaked head vigorously. "In this modern culture of women's liberation, that very word sets alarm bells ringing. We've all been brought up to think of ourselves as equal. We've argued about it and fought for it and wholly embraced it, and then somebody throws around the word 'submissive', and it's like tossing in a grenade and everything blows up."

  Luanna knew for certain, right then, that her instincts regarding the depth of Laurel's character were spot on. She might be impulsive and sometimes whimsical, but she wasn't the flighty bird she sometimes came across as. And that was a distinction everyone would do well to remember.