New Tales from Hilbert Space

by Gabriel Just

s from Hilbert Space

  Copyright © 2015 Gabriel Just

  All rights reserved.

  Contents

  Prologue

  Too Bad for Business

  Global Warning

  Packet Loss

  Salvaging Rites

  Prologue

  Hilbert Space, a very special region of the universe, is a rather unique place. Inhabited by dozens of space faring civilizations and spanning hundreds of systems, it is home to thousands of stories worth telling. While the laws of physics, which lead to the rest of space being quite dull and boring for the most part, are acknowledged here, Hilbert Space is known to find many workarounds, loopholes, or compromises that ensure that it is a dangerous, yet also extremely entertaining domain.

  Too Bad for Business

  The hangar doors of Koriba Station opened slowly and a small vessel entered. After hitting the left door and making a small dent in the otherwise unharmed metal, the ship set down on one of the landing platforms. Landing maneuvers like that one were the reason for the state of the ship. It was full of smaller and bigger bumps and scratches, parts of the hull had been patched up sloppily and some bits and pieces only dangled down on various cables and were otherwise completely detached from the vessel itself. The chief of security of Koriba Station approached the new arrival. The vessel’s door opened and two Dranik jumped out. Both were of average build for their race, just slightly bigger than Piki, and way more muscular. Their skin was dark green and enabled them to perform rudimentary photosynthesis. This was an effect of the plant symbiont all Dranik carry under their skin. A more prominent consequence of this symbiosis was the fact that all male Dranik had thin, long roots growing out from their chin and upper lip. These roots were always skillfully braided and often long enough to reach the floor. One of the two Dranik, the marginally bigger one, spoke up.

  “Thank you, for hiring the Extermination Brothers. I am Rakni, and this is my brother Pokk. Say hello, Pokk!” said Rakni while nudging his younger brother.

  “Hello,” Pokk said briefly.

  “You won’t regret hiring us,” his brother continued. “Whatever your problem is, no matter how dangerous the vermin, we can deal with any infestation. From Nebulian Rats to Madonian Raptors, we exterminate everything.”

  “So you are the extermination crew? Very well. Are you equipped with automated vermin scanners or do I have to explain the situation? You see, normally we just hire some robots from Auto-Ex, so I’m not used to dealing with real people.”

  “Oh, I know this company very well,” Rakni said. “Auto-Ex, eh? You can not compare a robot’s doing to the honest work of a living person. For one, I’m afraid you have to tell us what it is you want to have exterminated. We have none of those fancy scanners. We exterminate the old fashioned way. You won’t regret your decision.”

  “Well, it was not really a decision,” the security chief confessed. “More a necessity. Of course we called Auto-Ex first. We told them about our problem with the Hironian Roaches in our sewage pipes and they said that they would not do this to their robots. Crawling in stinking waste shafts was beneath them. So we tried other extermination services, but they all refused. But, at the end of the list, with only a one star rating, we finally found the Extermination Brothers.”

  “1.1 stars, if you please. We are not able to afford rounding errors in our profession. No job is too small or too gross for the Extermination Brothers. Stand aside, we will deal with these roaches.”

  Rakni opened the trunk of the ship and took a careful look at all the equipment. “Pokk, what do you think? What is best suited for roaches?”

  Pokk grabbed his trusted flamethrower. “Old Roasty can deal with anything.”

  “You are right,” said his brother. “No need for any fancy poison or traps. I will take the disintegrator, just to be on the safe side. These roaches can get quite big. And I will not risk getting a one star review again, only because some of the vermin survived.”

  “I think the problem last time was that a lot of things did not survive that should have survived,” Pokk pointed out.

  “Whatever,” said Rakni dismissively. “I’m sure there is no problem that can’t be solved with a well aimed disintegrator beam.”

  The security chief showed the Extermination Brothers the way to the sewage pipes. “I hope you are not thinking about firing these weapons inside the station.”

  “Don’t you worry. We are professionals!”

  Pokk waded through a waist-deep stream of sewage. “Did we really have to take this job?” he asked his brother one more time.

  “Of course. We don’t have the luxury of declining a job. We have only one star. Who else would hire us?”

  “I don’t know. You really think we will get a five star rating for this job?”

  “Of course. We just have to do a good job. I admit, we had a stroke of bad luck up till now. But somehow I know that we will break this vicious cycle today. Just think about it. A five star rating. We would never have to crawl around in such sewers. We would only take the most prestigious jobs. Hunting Madonian Raptors or Tenutrian Kraken. What a life that would be.”

  Pokk did a quick calculation. “But one five star rating would still leave us with an average of about 1.2 stars.”

  “Of course, we have to be patient. Maybe mother will give us a better rating next time.”

  “In her defense, we did destroy the kitchen. I think two stars was very generous of her.”

  “You have always been mother’s darling. She just gave us two stars, so that we move out.”

  “Well it would have been tough caring for us, without a kitchen.”

  “Details, Pokk, details. Trust me. Today things will finally start to look up. And now concentrate, the roaches could be everywhere. Can you smell them?”

  “All I can smell is sewage.”

  “Excellent. These foul gases will mask our approach. The roaches will not know what hit them.”

  The brothers continued on their way deeper down the pipes.

  Suddenly Rakni stopped and gave his brother a sign to stop as well. “Did you hear that?” Rakni asked. “It sounded like a roach. Careful now.”

  The two sneaked around the next bend where they saw a huge colony of Hironian Roaches. One big queen was surrounded by dozens of smaller bugs. They were all lurking on the upper half of the pipe, where it was nice and dry. While the smaller ones where only as big as a fist, the queen was even bigger than Rakni.

  “They did not spot us yet,” Rakni whispered. “This is a job for Old Roasty, don’t you think?”

  Pokk nodded and readied his flamethrower. He carefully aimed it directly at the queen in complete silence. Only a quiet ‘click’ could be heard, as he pulled the trigger. Only that ‘click’ and Pokk’s battlecry. “Burn you pests!” he shouted from the top of his lungs as a wall of fire rushed towards the roaches. For some reason this warned the vermin and they all dived down to escape the flame. It did not take long, before the gases in the pipe reached a critical temperature and ignited. Two new walls of fire came into existence, one moving away from the two Dranik, one approaching them very fast. Pokk had not much time to plan his next move. He took a quick look at the disgusting green goo he was standing in, then at the red blaze coming closer and closer. He decided that ducking down may be the best option, although it would result in him having to pick bits of goo out of his roots for the next few weeks. Pokk was a caring brother and as such made the same decision for Rakni by tackling him to the ground. The fire rampaged over their heads, but the sewage protected them from the heat.

  “Why have you done that?” Rakni yelled as soon as he resurfaced. “You think I am afraid of a little fire? Now I’m c
overed in slime. Is this how you thank me for always looking out for you.”

  “Sorry, brother,” Pokk apologized, while wringing out his roots.

  Also the roaches emerged from the water. The smaller ones formed a protective circle around the queen, while just sat there, looking at Rakni. Although she had no facial expression at all, the Dranik knew that she was laughing at him. She was obviously amused about the missed shot.

  “You little pest!” Rakni shouted and pulled his disintegrator. “Let’s see how you like that.” He charged his weapon all the way to the most powerful level, thereby ignoring three distinct safety warnings. After he released the trigger, a big, red energy beam was formed by his weapon and expanded quickly towards the queen. She had not enough time to react and was completely vaporized within fractions of a second. So was the wall of the pipe behind her. Unfortunately for Pokk and Rakni this wall was an exterior wall, so the whole pipe was exposed to the vacuum of space. In the few seconds it took for the automated safety system to activate an emergency force field, a lot of air was sucked out into the void, lifting the two brothers up. They were, together with a lot of sewage, accelerated towards the hole in the wall and it was sheer luck that the force field activated just in time before they were sucked out. Nevertheless it was quite a painful experience for Rakni, since the force field he hit face first was even harder than the average metal pipe. His brother, who crashed into his back