A Dangerous Temptation

by L. R. Olson

  Cora had paused in her movements and was staring oddly at my body.

  “Have I put on weight?” I asked, amused by the questioning look in her eyes. “I haven’t been walking like I used to. Perhaps the lack of activity…”

  “No,” she said, hesitantly. “But your breasts, if you don’t mind me saying, seem a bit larger than they are normally.”

  I frowned and glanced down. The dress was tight, and my breasts practically spilled from the scooped neckline. I’d never worn something so provocative, so sensual. During my one and only season in London I’d worn demure, pastel gowns fit for a virgin. Were my breasts larger than normal? Tentatively, I reached up and cupped the mounds. They did seem bigger.

  Cora stepped toward me, her eyes wary, yet excited all at once. “My lady, may I speak freely?”

  I dropped my hands to my sides. She was blushing. The outspoken girl never blushed. “Of course.”

  “Well, my mum, she always got sore breasts when she was expecting.”

  The sound of another carriage interrupted our conversation. Frantic, I reached for my skirts. “Expecting what?”

  Remembering her position, Cora took the material from my hands. “Expecting a babe, my lady.”

  I froze, my gaze going wide. No. We’d only been intimate twice since arriving to the estate. Certainly it took more than two times to get with child, didn’t it? I flatted my hands to my belly as Cora smoothed out the skirts. A baby? Impossible.

  “Your chest is larger,” Cora said, holding out the skirts for me to step into. “Is the area more sensitive?”

  I wanted to deny it, but couldn’t. Parted my lips to do so, instead, I merely nodded. I’d noticed weeks ago, but had merely thought my monthly would start soon. But it hadn’t. Lord, when was the last time I’d had my monthly?

  Although Cora was younger than me, I felt the utter fool standing next to her. I knew nothing about babies or childbirth. A grin swept across her knowledgeable face. Of course she thought I’d be happy about having a child. Any married woman would be ecstatic. It was, after all, what we had been born and bred for. But I wasn’t sure what I felt.

  Numbly, I stepped into the skirts and Cora pulled them up to my waist. No longer did my beautiful gown matter. No longer did I care about impressing Jamie. Society was of no importance.

  A baby.

  It might be a boy. James would be pleased and I would be one step closer to my freedom. Why did that thought not thrill me as it should have?

  “Oh my lady!” Cora clapped her hands together. “You look breathtaking! What a magical night you’ll have! And Lord Whitfield will be so pleased to know you’re expecting!”

  “You are not to mention this to anyone, do you understand?” I demanded, my voice holding a bite that it never had before. I knew how servants gossiped, and I would not have Jamie uncovering the truth by someone else’s lips.

  The young maid nodded quickly, her smile falling. “I wouldn’t dream of it, my lady.”

  I glanced toward the full length mirror. Vaguely, I was aware that I did indeed look the best I ever had looked. In fact, I might even be called quite pretty. But my gaze immediately went to my midsection where I studied my flat belly as if I might find signs of the child within. There was nothing. Yet, I couldn’t deny that my breasts were tender, that I hadn’t had my monthly in weeks. How far along was I?

  A soft knock sounded on the door. Cora raced to answer. I merely stood there staring at myself in the mirror. My belly had not rounded, but there was no mistaking the fact that my breasts were larger than normal. My demure day dresses and painting smocks had hidden the truth.

  Jamie’s reflection suddenly appeared in the mirror, and I could feel his presence behind me like a soft touch. With a quick glance over my shoulder I realized that Cora was gone and I was alone in the room with my husband. His heated gaze swept over my form, lingering at my bosom. Did he notice anything amiss?

  Those eyes so dark, so tempting, so taunting. He wanted me. The heated stirrings of longing flared to life and I had to resist the urge to go to him, to throw my arms around his neck.

  “You look stunning.”

  I blushed. “Thank you for the dress.”

  I wasn’t used to his compliments and he wasn’t the type of man to spew them regularly. Neither was I one to give them…at least not to him. If I told him he looked divine in his dark suit that matched his eyes, he would certainly laugh, perhaps even mock my sentiment. Before I realized his intent, he lowered his head and kissed the back of my neck. A mere soft brush of his heated lips.

  I sucked in a sharp breath, my pulse pounding. Oh, how I wanted him. How I craved his touch. Desired him like I’d never desired another. Slowly he straightened. His gaze was heated with a fierceness that made me feel branded. I was his, it was undeniable. At some point he had claimed me.

  He held out a small box. “This is for you.”

  I turned to face him. We were close, so close that I could see the sparks of gray in his dark eyes. If I leaned into him would he step back, or pull me into his body? “What is it?”

  He grinned. “Open it and see.”

  I took my lower lip between my teeth and lifted the lid. A necklace of pearls and diamonds lay nestled upon a velvet pillow. It wasn’t brilliant and obscene, but delicate and understated. It was exactly what I liked. I glanced up at him, searching his eyes for affection as he picked up the necklace. Did he know me, or had it been coincidence?

  Sensing my attention, he met my gaze. “Do you like it?”

  “I do.”

  I was surprised to see the flash of uncertainty. “Are you sure? I have a sapphire necklace that was my grandmother’s, but the gems are quite large and I…”

  “You what?”

  “It didn’t seem like you.”

  I’d never seen him so unsure. It was rather endearing. I rested my gloved hand on his. “I love this one. It’s stunning.”

  He seemed relieved. “Shall I help you?”

  I nodded and turned. He wrapped the cool beads around my throat, the doubled strands laying across my chest, sliding down between the valley of my breasts. His knuckles brushed the sensitive skin at my neck as he clipped the clasp. I barely breathed. I felt afire. The urge to lean back into him was tempting. He didn’t move away, his hands remaining on my shoulders.

  Everything that had happened—the petty arguments, the distrust, the condemnation—faded away. I wanted him then and there. I wanted to feel his lips on my skin. To taste him. I wanted to feel him deep within me, touching my very soul.

  His fingers gently gripped my shoulders and slowly, he turned me. When he lowered his head, I didn’t pull away. Relieved, I closed my eyes and lifted up to meet him. His mouth molded to mine. His kiss was gentle, sweeping aside any reserves. A loving kiss. A caring caress. I wanted to sink into him, to grip his lapels, cling to the man, and beg for more.

  But all too soon he pulled away. His gaze had grown hard, his pupils dilated with desire, but we didn’t have time for more. He wanted me as much as I wanted him. Would he still want me when he realized I was with child? Surely James would notice my expanding girth. Things were finally going so well, I wasn’t ready to leave this estate. Wasn’t ready to leave…him.

  “Mrs. Vita said you hung my mother’s painting.”

  “I hope you don’t mind. I asked if there was one somewhere nearby and they found it in the attic.”

  “I don’t mind.”

  The relief I felt was immediate. “I thought to hang it in her chambers but decided she should be in the parlor where all could admire her. She was stunning.”

  He gave a curt nod. It was his belief, no doubt, that he’d shown too much emotion. “Thank you.”

  “Of course.” I wanted to say more. He looked as if he wanted to say more. Was he truly pleased? It was so hard to tell. “Why is your stepmother’s painting in her chambers?”

  He shrugged, looking uncomfortable. I wished I hadn’t asked. He didn’t like to talk about t
he woman. “She hung it there to prove a point. To be honest I haven’t been in those rooms for years. I’d forgotten the painting was even there. You’re welcome to remodel and use her chambers, if you’d like. You are the lady of the house, after all.”

  I forced myself to smile. “That’s kind.”

  I didn’t want his mother’s chambers. I wanted…I wanted to share a room with Jamie, as my parents shared their space. But I knew the wealthy and titled did not normally reside in the same bedroom. He’d been so kind lately, truly trying, that I didn’t want to push the matter.

  He stepped toward the mirror and adjusted his cravat. “I should warn you, word is my stepmother is coming.”

  I stiffened. I’d finally meet the dragon. The woman who had caused so much torment. I wasn’t sure if I was well enough prepared to face the devil. “Why not deny her entrance?”

  But even as I thought the question, I knew the answer…he didn’t want to cause a scene.

  “If she arrives,” he continued, “do not speak with her alone, understand?”

  I bristled at his commanding tone, but nodded my agreement. It was so blasted hard not to react with anger when he became that haughty lord.

  “She’s not one to face alone. Trust me.”

  Trust him, yet he’d never truly trusted me. I moved toward the mirror and adjusted one of the curls that lay over my shoulder. He’d given me so much. I was pleased. Yet, I couldn’t deny I wanted more. I wanted all of him.

  He cupped the side of my face and brushed his thumb over my lower lip. “I’ll meet you downstairs.”

  It was only after he’d left the room that I could finally breathe with some normalcy. I could never seem to function properly or think clearly when he was near. Part of me had wanted to ask him to forget the blasted party, to run away with me to that hunting cottage and spend the night alone. But Jamie was much too prim and proper to forgo his guests and make a scene.

  I studied myself in the mirror once more, making sure there were no signs of my pregnancy. My parents would be arriving at any moment. Would mother realize? She’d be so pleased. I’d finally received a letter a week ago. They were looking forward to the trip, Penny was living near London and doing quite well, Father’s health had improved, and they were even bringing Cecilia to the ball.

  Everything was going so well. So why wasn’t I happier?

  Because James still hadn’t opened up to me, continued to hold back. And because I knew I had to tell him about the pregnancy. Yes, I’d always wanted children.

  But I realized with some despair that to have the children I craved, I’d have to give up James, the man I was falling in love with all over again.

  ****

  I’d danced before at a ball. I’d had my exceedingly short season in London. But never had I been the recipient of such utter attention and devotion.

  I was no longer Jules.

  I was Lady Whitfield.

  The dark ballroom had been turned into a stunning display of candlelight and flowers. Although I’d been reluctant to believe they could transform the place into something more cheerful, the servants had done their job well.

  I scanned the many happy faces, until I landed on my parents. They were beaming, so thrilled I had made the match of the century, delighted to see me thriving, dressed so elegantly, the daughter they’d always wanted, always hoped for. But then they didn’t realize what I had gone through: the pain, the confusion, the heartache. And they never would.

  “Can’t believe I’m here,” Cecilia whispered, her eyes alight with excitement.

  I clutched her hand and squeezed. She wore a gown of mine that I’d left behind. A pretty mauve dress that made her skin glow. I wanted to talk to her about coming to live with us, but I hadn’t had the chance to broach the subject with James first.

  “Yes, it is beautiful,” I said.

  “I suppose,” Oliver said, sweeping between us and interrupting our conversation. He’d arrived moments before. “If one likes such a thing.”

  Cecilia gave me a questioning glance, wondering over the identity of the bizarre man.

  “Cecilia, my brother-in-law, Oliver.”

  She curtsied, but he barely acknowledged her. My friend was much too good natured to be offended and we shared a grin. He seemed utterly indifferent to all. The man didn’t give a fig about society, about money, about anything but his sciences. Jamie had admitted during one dinner that Oliver had always been a peculiar boy, but when they needed him, he was there. As he was now…keeping me company while James spoke with some important lord. I didn’t miss the way the men showed my husband such respect. And I certainly didn’t miss the way the women watched him admiringly.

  “I suppose I should ask if you’re doing well,” Oliver said. “Say that marriage agrees with you.”

  I laughed. “Oliver, you don’t need to stand on propriety with me. You may speak of whatever you wish.”

  “I doubt I have much to offer in conversation that would appeal to you.” He said the words not to offend, but was completely serious. “Unless you have an affinity for the workings of the body and sciences.”

  “Alas, no.”

  His hopeful look faded and I felt rather bad for disappointing him. “As suspected.”

  “Oliver is going to be a doctor,” I explained to my grinning friend.

  “I do enjoy the occasional flower,” Cecilia said, just to tease.

  Oliver glanced at her, the disgust evident in his gaze. “Hard sciences, my dear, true science, not the gathering of blooms to appease our animalistic need for pretty things.”

  “And how do you appease your animalistic need?” she asked, blinking her eyes innocently.

  Oh dear, this could end badly. I hid my laughter with a cough.

  “I control it,” he said quite seriously.

  “Lia,” I pleaded, “could you perhaps fetch me a glass of champagne?”

  She grinned, knowing I was trying to get rid of her, the minx. “Of course.”

  With another polite curtsey she was gone.

  “Strange and silly woman,” Oliver muttered, watching her.

  “Very strange,” I agreed with a grin.

  James started toward us and my heart took flight. Truly, there was no man as handsome and elegant as he. “Although lack of conversation aside, I do appreciate you keeping me company. It’s all a bit overwhelming.”

  “Yes, I suppose it is to a woman.”

  I quirked a brow. “It’s not to men?”

  “Of course not.” Oliver was quite handsome in his dark suit. In fact, he was probably the most handsome of them all. But I noticed the women stayed clear and I knew without doubt he’d offended them all at one time or another. How strange he seemed, but I rather liked that about him. “We couldn’t care less, and to be blunt…”

  As if he was anything but blunt.

  “We aren’t expected to care. It’s much easier for men.”

  I nodded my agreement. He might be harshly truthful at times to the point of offending, but he was honest. “Indeed. I’ve always felt as much.”

  James came up beside me and slid his arm around my waist. I felt the touch all the way to my toes. Perhaps it was for show, for we’d never much caressed in public or private, but I still enjoyed it. “Has Oliver bored you to death?”

  “Not at all.”

  He smiled as if he didn’t believe me in the least. “Thank you, Oliver. You are free to go find your fellow science enthusiasts.”

  He rushed off without acknowledgement, without a goodbye as society dictated. James sighed, watching his brother leave. “I apologize if he’s offended.”

  “No. Honestly, it’s refreshing to speak with someone who tells the truth, who doesn’t hold back.”

  “Give it time, add in an insult or ten, and it will stop being so refreshing,” he said dryly. “I try to explain…we all have, but the man doesn’t seem to care who he offends. He merely sees it as speaking his mind, being honest.”

  “Perhaps we sh
ould all be so honest once in a while,” I whispered, wondering if he’d take the bait. Yet, who was I to judge Jamie for not speaking his mind, having secrets, when I hadn’t been exactly forthright?

  “Honestly?” he said, staring into my eyes. “I should have had this ball a long time ago. You are my wife, and you deserve such recognition and respect.”

  I flushed with delight. He hadn’t spoken his heart, hadn’t even claimed he liked me, but he had told me his truth, and I appreciated it. “Are Rafe and Will coming?”

  He took a glass of whiskey from a passing tray. “Not Will. Since the war, and his injuries, he won’t go out in public.”

  My loyalty flared. “That’s nonsense! The scar only makes him look all the more dashing!”

  He slid me a glance, the amusement back in his eyes. “Romantic?”

  “Exactly.”

  He laughed, reminding me of the man I’d met those months and months ago bathing in our creek. “Do tell him that the next time he visits. I’d love to see his reaction.”

  “Jamie, is that you?” Rafe said, suddenly appearing in front of us with a surprised look upon his face. In his dark suit he looked even more handsome than usual, and I didn’t miss the women turning his way like butterflies after a bloom. He was definitely a favorite. “I didn’t recognize you with a smile upon your face.”

  “My brother, if we weren’t in polite company I’d tell you exactly what I think of your comment.”

  “Polite company never stopped you before.” Rafe turned toward me, his charming smile stunning. “My dear, I didn’t think it possible but you look even more beautiful since the last time I saw you. You’re practically glowing.”

  I gave him a wane smile. Pregnancy and glowing went hand in hand, or so I’d always heard. I had to resist the urge to press my palm to my belly. Was I truly with child? Could I really bring a baby into this family where no one seemed to get along? Where everyone kept secrets and bickered as if they were no better than Terrifying Tony’s men?

  I looked up at James, searching his face for answers. Would he be a good father? Could he tear down the wall in time to love and appreciate his own child? Perhaps more than anyone he needed this baby. Needed to learn to love, experience joy. If I couldn’t get him to open up, perhaps a child could.