Just the Tip (DTF (Dirty. Tough. Female) Book 4)

by Kat Addams

  “Layla? What’s wrong?” I stepped in front of her, grabbing her hand.

  “It looks funny, and you noticed it! You and I both know it. I look weird. Why am I growing this way?” Layla looked to Deb and pointed at her stomach.

  Deb glanced at me before placing her hands on Layla’s belly. “There is absolutely nothing wrong with the way you’re growing your baby girl. All women carry their children differently,” she reassured Layla, but I was pretty sure she was reassuring me.

  “All of the women in my family do this. I just hoped it wouldn’t happen to me. I look like she’s turned sideways and sticking her butt out to anyone who passes by.” Layla sniffled, holding my hand tighter.

  “Good. She’s telling them to kiss her ass. We don’t care how people think we look. If she were growing out lumpy like a sack of potatoes, you’d still be gorgeous. You’re growing life inside of you. You’re a mother. It doesn’t get any more beautiful than that. Now, if anyone gives you shit, send them my way.”

  Finally, I understood what the doula’s role was in all of this. She was DTF with a medical background.

  “Layla, listen to Deb. I’ve never seen you glow like this. When I told you that you were radiant, I meant it. You’re a beautiful woman, and I didn’t know you could get even more gorgeous, but here we are.”

  Layla nodded as Deb helped her off the table.

  “Your bladder looked pretty full on those screenshots,” Deb said, tilting her head toward the screen. “Go empty it, and then I’ll set up your next appointment.”

  Layla hobbled off, still sniffling.

  “What just happened?” I asked Deb, wringing my hands.

  The past few moments had raced by in a blur. I was confused as to what to say or what to do. All the estrogen floating about the room had stifled me into a fog I couldn’t find my way out of.

  “Hormones. You’re going to have to get used to it. I sent her away, so I could talk to you. Nothing is wrong. I could see the fear in your eyes when she walked through that door in the waiting room. I promise your baby is fine. Women grow in all sorts of shapes. But this is what I’m going to need from you if you want both Layla and your baby girl to have the healthiest pregnancy and delivery possible. Support her. In every way you can. Lift her up. Expect these mood swings and handle them with grace and positivity. I’d say you’re ahead of the game in your compliments. Kudos to you on telling her she is beautiful.”

  “She is. I wasn’t just complimenting her. She is stunning!” I drew in a long breath.

  Deb patted my shoulder. “You know, I don’t only support the mamas. They are my number one priority. But I can ease dear old dad’s fears too. You’re going to do fine. Just remember what I said. She is going to need you, and you’re going to have to be there. It’s going to be a wild ride, and you might lose patience. But think of what she is doing. She’s bringing forth life.”

  Life force!

  “She’s allowed to feel mixed emotions about it,” she continued, “and one of those emotions is fear over losing her body and herself. You can help take that burden off of her. Lots of reassurance and support, Aiden. And a milkshake never hurt anybody.”

  “Milkshake?”

  “Feed her and tell her she’s pretty. It’s as simple as that. Don’t overcomplicate it. This is an exciting and fun time in your life!”

  “Right.” I nodded, feeling better already.

  I could definitely feed Layla. That was easy. And telling her she was pretty came easy too. It was the truth. Deb the doula had restored my confidence and eased my fears in a matter of minutes. I wondered if I could hire her to be my life coach after all this was over.

  “Ready?” Layla said, bouncing into the room. Her mood had lifted into that familiar ray of sunshine I’d grown used to.

  Deb looked at me and winked.

  “I’m as ready as ever, beautiful. Now, let me take you to lunch. I have some exciting news of my own I’d love to share with you. But first, I’m going to need you to tell me what you’re craving. You pick the place. I’ve got to feed my two sweet girls!” I said, putting my arm around Layla and steering her out of the room.

  I glanced over my shoulder as Deb gave me two thumbs-up. I could do this dad thing, and I could do this supportive friend thing. And hopefully, if things kept going right, I could do this lover thing too. After all, Layla was already carrying my child. It wasn’t like I could knock her up again. What was the worst that could happen?

  FIVE

  Layla

  “Thanks, Mom,” I groaned, wiping cake crumbs off my face. “That hit the spot. I’ve been craving yellow cake and fudge sauce this entire pregnancy.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me, honey? I would’ve made it for you several times. But now, you need to know the recipe since you’re about to be a mom!” My mother sat down across from me.

  It was ten p.m. on a weeknight, but between school and work, late nights were the only free time I had in my schedule.

  “Baking cakes, cookies, decorating for birthdays. Sewing dresses. All that stuff I wanted to do when I became a mom, except now, I don’t have the time, and I’m not sure I ever will.” I pulled at a string on my floppy maternity blouse.

  “You’ll find the time. It’ll take a while, but you will. Besides, didn’t you say Aiden will be working around the corner from your school? That will help you if you need to slow down and take more time to finish your degree. He can take the baby. I can help some too. We’re all going to support you, so we can drink wine and paint for free at your new studio one day,” she said, raising her wineglass in the air and toasting to my uncertain future.

  “One day,” I mumbled.

  “So, when do I get to meet the father? And are you two going to try to stay together? You said he’s your friend, but … do you ever think you could be more than that?”

  “This question is loaded. I think you are too.” I perched my elbows on the table and rested my head in my hands.

  “I am not! This is only my second glass. Besides, you’re avoiding the question. I’d like to know about my grandchild’s father. All I know is, he owns restaurants and is from Australia.”

  I leaned back, staring at the ceiling. What could I tell my mother? That Aiden was possibly the sexiest man in Outer Forks and he could have any woman he wanted? That he made me laugh constantly? That his compliments were like nothing I’d heard before, and they made me feel like I was the most beautiful woman he’d laid eyes on? That he was an exceptional cook and an even more exceptional businessman?

  “He’s a good man. That’s the important part. He’s sticking by me as a supportive friend.” I sighed.

  “Are you saying you don’t have feelings for this friend?” She swirled her wineglass, peering over the rim.

  My smile faded. The flutter I felt in my chest when I thought about Aiden crept into my cheeks, flushing them in baby-girl pink.

  “We’re just mates, Mom,” I said.

  My hormones had been all over the place so much lately that I didn’t know if I was emotional and needy because of how I truly felt or because of this pregnancy.

  Lies, I knew. But I didn’t want to ruin the friendship I shared with Aiden. If we broke up and had to share a kid, I wasn’t sure I could handle that.

  “Life mates now. You two have a baby girl bonding you for life. I’d say, it might be worth giving it a shot if you feel there is a chance y’all could work it out. How about we have him over for dinner?” she asked, reaching across the table and patting my hand.

  “Yes, yes. I guess you’ll have to meet him eventually.” I pushed myself up from the table. “I’ll ask him about it and let you know. I’ve got to go home though. I’m tired. I love you, Mom. I won’t wake Dad, but tell him I love him too. I’ll see you two soon … possibly with my friend.” I tiptoed by my dad, who was snoring from his old-man recliner.

  My mom walked me to the door and hugged me good-bye. She stood on the porch, waving and watching until I couldn’t see her i
n my rearview mirror anymore. I hoped I could be half the mother she was to me. I reached down and turned the volume up in my van, trying to stay awake. At least, I already drove a mom mobile.

  It was an hour past prep time when I pulled in behind The Pink Taco Truck. I had slipped on a pillowy dress and flip-flops over my ever-growing stomach and rushed out the door as fast as I could waddle.

  “Baby girl, you’re going to need to learn to sleep,” I said, patting my stomach.

  I’d been up all night, thanks to the gymnast in my womb. When I finally gave up on sleep, I fished out my old baby and dream-wedding scrapbooks from my closet. I’d added things to them throughout the years—articles, pictures, drawings, ideas. I’d thumbed through the baby book in search of names, remembering I’d had an extensive list back in the day. But the names I’d added when I was younger weren’t exactly the names I would pick today.

  Sure, I liked Daisy enough, and Meadow was super cute. But I didn’t feel like this baby girl would have a sweet, flowery personality. I had a feeling she was going to pop out of me like a force to be reckoned with.

  Unf. I grabbed my stomach, rubbing out a kick from the hellion inside me.

  “How are you going to fit in this kitchen in a few months?” Betty said, opening the door of the truck and hoisting me up.

  “No clue. I guess I’ll have to sit up front and sleep while you guys do all the work.” I leaned against the fridge to catch my breath.

  “So, like any other day?” Nikki laughed, pushing past Betty to rub my belly.

  “You guys know I’m tired!” I pouted.

  “We’re teasing. We told you, we’re here to help. Go sit down now and take a rest. You look like you can’t breathe!” Rox’s brows pulled together.

  She had the top of her arm wrapped in Saran Wrap, which meant she had a new tattoo. I’d been so busy with my own life that I didn’t even know she’d marked herself again.

  “What’s that?” I nodded toward her arm.

  “It’s nothing. Just a cute something I thought I’d do.” Rox stared into the steaming pot on the stovetop in front of her.

  “But what is it? I don’t even feel like a part of DTF anymore. I’m too busy these days, and I miss you guys. What’s going on in your lives? What’s the tattoo? I know you get them when they mean something.” I looked from Rox to Betty to Nikki and back.

  “She got a damn Easter egg on her. It’s a little egg. That’s all.” Betty tapped her spatula on the side of the pan, avoiding my gaze.

  “I love Easter! Let me see!” I motioned for Rox to come toward me.

  She hesitated before letting out a sigh and stepping close enough so that I could reach her.

  I lifted her arm to my face and peered through the layers of Saran Wrap. “It’s a pretty, speckled blue! Is it … is it broken?”

  “It’s part of the design.” Rox’s voice fell low as she turned back to the food on the stove.

  Nikki stared down at her shoes, and Betty glanced out the window.

  “Well, it’s gorgeous, just like you! I didn’t know you loved Easter so much! What about you, Nikki? Betty? What’s going on in your lives?” I washed my hands and picked up a chef’s knife. A line of washed tomatoes sat on the chopping block, waiting on me. I didn’t mind doing most of the chopping. After studying at school all night, mindless tasks were about all I could handle.

  “Weston and I are keeping busy at the youth center. We’re putting together camps for the kids this summer, so the parents have a little help while school is out. Plus, most of those kids don’t want to be home if they don’t have to be. His mom has been helping a lot. We’re thinking of getting Westy’s involved somehow and maybe offering them summer jobs at the park. Kind of like an intern thing. We could put them up in the hotel, too, but the jury is still out on that. Teens in a hotel could go a different way than we hope.” Nikki grabbed the other knife and began to help me chop.

  “That’s so awesome of y’all to do that for those poor kids! You’re an amazing woman! How about you, Betty? Terrance and Maisy behaving themselves? Still planning your wedding?”

  “No, they don’t ever behave. And, yes, I’m still planning it. We’re pushing it back to next spring though,” Betty said.

  “Why?” I cried. “I thought we were doing it this fall! I was looking forward to it!”

  “It’s just too busy of a year. You’re having a baby, Nikki’s wedding is already planned and set for the fall, Rox and Jay are swamped with the new restaurant. And you and your baby daddy will be too. Have you seen the plans he has for that place? It looks like a lot of work!”

  “Really? I thought it was already pretty much set up. I haven’t seen anything. Rox? You and Jay are helping him? What’s it like? And how are you and Jay doing?” I groaned, rubbing my daughter’s constant kicks and flips.

  “Is she moving?” Rox asked, gazing at my torpedo tummy.

  Nikki and Betty looked up from their tasks.

  “Yep. Want to feel? Come here.” I reached out toward her and pulled her arm back over to me, placing her hand where something kept bumping up against me from the inside.

  Thump. Thump.

  “Wow! She’s strong!” Rox smiled before patting my belly and returning to work.

  “She does it all night long.” I shook my head. “Hey, I’ve been thinking. We haven’t gotten together like old times in a while. Remember when we used to get together at Rox’s house? Firepit in the backyard and all? Or those days we spent in my pool? It’s getting kind of lonely for me. Do you think we can have a sleepover at my place? Maybe this weekend? If you all don’t have plans.” I pressed my hands to my cheeks.

  I missed my girls. Between school, work, and little miss, I never had time to stop and think about me and my happiness and what I needed. And right now, I needed my friends.

  My eyes bubbled over with tears.

  “Oh, honey. What’s wrong? Of course we can do a sleepover. Isn’t that right, Betty? Nikki?” Rox rushed to my side, trying to fit her tiny arms around my protruding belly so that she could hug me.

  I was already as big as a house, which made me cry even harder.

  “It’s just that I have no one. I know you say I have you guys. But I’m so slammed with life that I don’t even know what’s going on in your lives! And Aiden is just …” I started.

  “What did he do?” Betty folded her arms across her chest.

  “Nothing. He’s been great! But he’s just my baby daddy. Not a partner or anything. All I have is just her and me,” I said, pointing to my belly.

  “Your parents and midwife and doula too,” Nikki said, rubbing my back.

  “But they aren’t who I need. I need DTF. I feel like my life is spiraling out, and I can’t talk to anyone about that but you guys.” I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand and sniffled, slowing my tears.

  “We had no idea you felt that way. How about, um, two Saturdays from now … or a weekday? I can’t this weekend or next because it’s poetry nights with the shelter. But after that works for me, and as long as Betty and Nikki can get a night free, let’s do it. Girls’ night at your place or mine? Whatever is easiest for you.” Rox brushed the hair from my face. She looked like she’d lost what little weight she’d had on her.

  I began to cry again. “It’s fine. I know everyone is busy. Yes. My place. Please. I’ve been such a bad friend. I’m going to be a bad mom. I can’t keep up! I don’t know how you all can stand me right now. Look at me! I’m a mess!” I wailed, giving up on trying to stop whatever crazy shit was happening with my emotions.

  “It’s your hormones! It’s okay. Cry it out. We’re here for you. Let it all out,” Nikki cooed, letting me rest my head on her shoulder. She stood a head taller than me and was made of solid muscle, like a flank steak.

  My stomach growled.

  “I’m hungry too,” I whispered. “I can’t stop eating!”

  Betty stood at the other side of the tiny kitchen with her jaw dropped. “You’re doing fine,
baby girl. If my emotions were up and down like that, I think I’d check into the mental hospital. You still got that taco aversion? If not, I’ll make you one. Go sit up there in the front. I’ll bring it to ya.”

  I shuffled my feet to the front of the truck, unsure of why or how Betty had sympathy for me. Her moods were usually predictable because she only had one—badass Betty. She took no shit and let everyone know it. I’d probably terrified her with my big tears and sappy wails.

  I settled into the backseat of the truck and shut the sliding door behind me, hoping to catch a five-minute catnap before Betty brought me food. My phone buzzed in my bra, where I stashed it these days. My boobs had grown to the size of those personal watermelons I loved to pick up at the farmers market. I’d never known being pregnant would give me a place to stash my phone and rest my plate. If I could slide a beer in between my breasts, I’d do that too.

  I pulled my phone out, reading Aiden’s text.

  Aiden: How are my two beautiful girls this morning? When is that next appointment again? I am working on my calendar today. Hope you can come to the new place soon and see it. I’d love your opinion on the interior. I know you have that talent for design.

  Me: We are doing okay. My feet are trying to keep up with my growing belly. I need to find some new shoes, but it’s hard to bend down to try them on, so flip-flops it is these days. I’d love to see your place. It’s close by my parents’, too, and they want to meet the father of their grandchild. So … dinner? Friday? At my parents’?

  I bit my lip. This was relationship territory—or was it? Meeting the parents was a big deal, but we weren’t in a relationship, just a friendship. And he had to meet my parents sometime, as they would be family now—or would they? I was confused. I didn’t know how this dynamic worked, but everyone needed to meet everyone, and that was that. I fanned myself. The air in the truck was stifling.

  Aiden: I’d love to meet Grandma and Grandpa! I can do Friday. Tell me what time, and I’ll pick you up.

  Me: Dinner at six. And are you sure? I don’t want to push you into anything.