The (Half) Truth

by Harper, Leddy

  I could’ve called Kelsey to check up on her and find out what had happened tonight, or I could’ve simply waited until I saw her again. But I didn’t do either. Instead, I drove to Samson, to their apartment about twenty miles out of my way, to find out for myself.

  Realistically, Tatum’s performance tonight might not have been out of character. For all I knew, this was a weekly thing for her, but I refused to pass it off as such until I could be sure.

  Kelsey opened the door, surprised to see me. “What are you doing here?”

  “Looking for Tatum. Where is she?” I asked as nicely as I could, hoping she wouldn’t choose this moment to pick a fight. She could think what she wanted of me, but this wasn’t the time to address it or question my motives.

  She propped her hand on her hip, full of attitude. “She’s in her room. Why?”

  I should’ve known that I didn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell at getting by my cousin without some sort of interrogation. But telling her the truth would’ve been pointless—even I could admit my reasons for being here sounded farfetched. Friendly concern or not, there were many other ways to check on Tatum without showing up at her apartment.

  Knowing that I stood between a rock and a hard place, I chose not to respond. Instead, I carefully moved her out of the way and invited myself inside—it was obvious she had no intention of doing so. But when I took a few steps toward Tatum’s room, Kelsey huffed and smacked my arm.

  “How do you know where her bedroom is?” Satisfaction danced on her lips, though silent threats shone in her eyes.

  “It’s a small apartment, Kelsey. From the front door, I can see the entire place.” I waved my arm around the open space. “I’m aware your room is past the kitchen, which leaves these two right here. One is a bathroom, and the other would be a bedroom. Doesn’t take a genius to figure it out.”

  “Or you’ve been in there before and just don’t want to tell me because you know I’ll kick your ass.” She could believe what she wanted, but getting into Tatum’s pants wasn’t on my agenda. And regardless, even if we did get busy behind a closed door, it would be none of Kelsey’s business.

  “Trust me, cuz . . . if I’d been in there before, you’d know.”

  “I should’ve guessed you’d go after her if I told you not to.” Oddly enough, her feisty tone had diminished to a low, almost hopeless murmur. It was enough to gain my undivided attention.

  My cousin needed reassurance, so I had to block out the fact that Tatum remained hidden away behind a closed door and focus on the here and now. “I don’t even know what you’re talking about, Kelsey. I’m not going after anyone.”

  “Admit it, Jason. You’re only interested in her because I forbid it.”

  “It’s cute that you think you have the power to forbid anything.” I smiled and moved closer to her. Determined to make her aware of my compassion without sacrificing my seriousness, I relaxed my shoulders yet straightened my spine. “I’m not interested in her.”

  “Oh . . . I was under the impression that you only knock on someone’s door at”—she glanced at her watch—“almost nine o’clock at night if you need to drop something off, pick something up, or it’s a booty call. You don’t have anything in your hands, and I can’t imagine she’d have anything to give you . . . which leaves the last option.”

  I lifted my gaze to the ceiling and took a deep breath, if for no other reason than to steal a moment to consider my response. “I just meant that I don’t have any ulterior motive when it comes to Tatum. That’s it. I wasn’t aware I couldn’t have any kind of relationship with her—as in friendly or cordial, not romantic.”

  “She’s my best friend, Jason.”

  “Yes, I’m well aware. Although, I have to be honest, Kelsey, I figured you’d want me to be nice to her. She’s close with our family, spends Sundays with my mom, and lives with you—my cousin. It’s not like she’s a stranger. Why would you want me to act like she doesn’t exist?”

  “Because . . .” The softer, gentler side of Kelsey didn’t come out often, but when it did, it made you want to find a way to give her all the stars from the sky just to make her shine again. “If you show her what a great guy you are, she’ll fall for you. Either way—whether you sleep with her or make her scribble your name in a spiral notebook—it could affect my friendship with her.”

  That wasn’t at all what I had expected her to say. Honestly, the fear mixed with dread that dripped from her confession nearly drowned me in guilt—even though I hadn’t done anything other than kiss Tatum, which hadn’t been intentional or provocative.

  This was about more than my old reputation.

  She worried I’d break Tatum’s heart without even trying. And at the end of the day, deliberate or not, if her best friend was hurt because of me, it would be my fault.

  Kelsey felt protective of Tatum, and I wasn’t convinced it was solely out of consideration for their friendship. Yes, that played a definite part in her reasoning, though I couldn’t help but wonder if her tireless attempts at guarding her friend’s heart had to do with something deeper.

  Either way, none of this had to do with me—I was only the potential hazard.

  “Kelsey . . .” I rested my hand on her upper arm and waited until her eyes met mine. “If she ends up head over heels in love with me, hauling me into a closet to make out, or throwing herself at me in a public display of staking claim . . . I can’t control that.”

  At least it made her smile, even though two of the three weren’t so much hypotheticals as they were events that had actually taken place. Well, one and a half; I sincerely doubted Tatum’s generous hug had been meant to stake claim, though that didn’t take away from the fact that she had thrown herself at me.

  “Whatever, Jason.” She pushed against my chest playfully, forcing me to step away. It was nice to see the fire inside come to life again. “Make fun all you want, but it was your reputation that followed me around high school, and I’m six years younger than you. You can’t blame me for being overly cautious. After all, you’re the one who came here tonight looking for her.”

  I could’ve brought her up to speed on the idea of maturing, or the possibility that people can change over time, but instead, I decided to explain my reason for showing up unannounced. “I was at Fathom 216 tonight and saw her. She looked upset and ran out like she’d caught her ass on fire. But before I could make sure she was all right, she was gone.”

  “Oh, she’s fine. She felt a migraine come on, so they let her go home. I guess it was a slow night.” If that wasn’t enough to convince me that something bigger had happened, I wasn’t sure what would.

  “As comforting as that is to hear, I’d still like to talk to her myself. She saw me before she took off. I asked her to wait, but she didn’t. For my own peace of mind, I’d like to make sure she’s okay, if that’s all right with you. I swear . . . I won’t make her fall in love with me before I leave,” I added with a smirk.

  Kelsey waved me off, dismissing me without the typical annoyance that often accompanied the action. “It’s not like you’d listen to me if I told you no. But I mean it, Jason. Jeopardize my friendship with her in any way, and you’ll regret ever moving to town. Got it?”

  Backing away, I held up my hands in surrender. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

  With a wink, I slid into the alcove just off the living room. The door straight ahead had been left ajar. The vanity was visible from where I stood, which left only the closed door to my right. Maybe I was too caught up in what Kelsey had said, or maybe my earlier concerns for Tatum had returned and stripped me of all common sense and manners. Whatever the reason, I wrapped my fingers around the cold knob and twisted, opening it without knocking.

  Tatum’s wide eyes found mine before I stepped one foot into her room. She yanked off her headphones, tossed them aside, and bolted upright on her mattress in one swift move. The black pants she’d had on earlier still covered her legs, but instead of the button-up coat that had hi
dden her figure, a white tank hugged her body.

  In that instant, I was torn, tugged in opposite directions.

  Kelsey’s statement echoed in my head, and the guilt it’d left me with swarmed low in my gut. Yet at the same time, seeing the surprise that left Tatum’s mouth agape reminded me of our kiss. The slightest gasp that had echoed between us right before her lips had met mine played in my ears. The heat of her palms that had radiated through my chest as she’d touched me lit an unfamiliar fire inside.

  But while I recalled that brief moment in her laundry room, one thing stood out above the rest. With her lips pressed against mine, she’d relaxed. She had held on to me, uninhibited and free of fear. Free of the nerves that shackled her right now. And all I wanted was to cross the room, take her face in my hands, and liberate her.

  Yet I couldn’t.

  Had Kelsey not expressed her motivation for keeping us apart, I doubt anything would’ve stopped me from doing exactly what I wanted. However, I couldn’t pretend that conversation hadn’t happened, no matter how badly I wished I could.

  Trepidation left my voice hoarse and rough when I asked, “Are you okay?”

  When she did nothing but stare at me, I walked in and closed the door. With what little I knew about her, I assumed she wouldn’t talk until she felt comfortable, and the only way I could get her there was to shroud us in the safety of her personal space.

  Realizing that there was, in fact, room in this apartment to hide a mess, I carefully made my way around a few piles of clothes and sat on the edge of the mattress. “Why’d you take off like that? I told you to wait, and when I turned around, you were gone.”

  “Do you suffer from memory loss?”

  I fought the need to smile and said, “Maybe. You should fill me in on what happened and see if it rings any bells.”

  “Yeah, that sounds like a great plan. Let me relive my most embarrassing moment just to see if you remember. Sure thing.”

  “We can come back to the singing portion of the night later if it’ll help.”

  “By later . . . do you mean never? Because sure, we can do that.”

  I shook my head, a rush of breathless humor filling the air between us. “Fine, we don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want. But can you at least tell me why you left when I asked you to wait?”

  “Listen, I get that you’re Kelsey’s cousin and I’m her best friend, and maybe that makes you feel like you have to be protective of me as well. Which is great—don’t get me wrong. Having you take on the responsibility of an older brother is nice. However, it’s extremely uncomfortable to stand there and wait for a guy while he goes to say good night to his girlfriend.”

  I hesitated to respond, needing to organize my thoughts in order to keep from putting my foot in my mouth. The first thing that crossed my mind was her insinuation that I somehow saw her like a little sister. I could say with complete certainty that a sibling was not what I thought of her as. But I didn’t think it would be appropriate if I explained that to her, so instead, I moved on.

  “That wasn’t my girlfriend.” A longer explanation was more than likely needed, though I didn’t offer anything else. Not because I didn’t want to, but because the sight of her tongue running along her lip made me think about kissing her again, and the way her breasts lifted with each breath reminded me what it was like to touch her when I’d brushed the crumbs off her shirt.

  It seemed Kelsey’s concerns held some validity.

  “You know what I mean.” She huffed and rolled her eyes.

  “I’m afraid I don’t. At all.”

  Tatum snagged a pillow off the bed and shoved it into her lap. It wasn’t clear if she was uncomfortable or just frustrated, so I didn’t do or say anything. Instead, I let her work through it while she explained what she meant. “You were on a date. Official or otherwise. Girlfriend was meant as a more generic reference, because I don’t know what people are calling it these days.”

  This was becoming too much fun. “You don’t know what people are calling what?”

  “Hookups. Tinder meet-ups. Talking to someone, seeing them, dating them . . . whatever it is. You took her to dinner, and since I work there, I kind of have an idea about how much you spent. I didn’t wait around, because after all that, you deserved to . . . you know.”

  “Yeah, I’m sorry, but I still don’t know.” I did. But making her say it was far more entertaining than correcting her. I would’ve stopped it by now if I thought she couldn’t handle it, and honestly, I had expected her to give up already, yet she kept going.

  Her cheeks turned pink as her gaze danced around the room, stopping on everything except me. “I’m just saying that after taking her to dinner and having a nice time with her—providing it wasn’t ruined by that thing we’re never going to talk about—I’m sure you planned to dip your toe in the water. Or maybe your whole foot.” Her top lip curled, and her nose scrunched up. “That analogy just gave me a mental image I don’t care to ever revisit outside of a therapist’s office.”

  “You thought I wanted to go swimming after eating?” By now, I was pressing my luck—it was obvious that I was just messing with her. At any minute, the fun would end, and we’d have to actually talk and give answers.

  “Why would I think you’d want to go swimming?”

  “You said dip my toe in the water.”

  She blinked a few times, and in her eyes, I recognized the moment it clicked. “What are you, five?”

  “You’re the one skirting around the issue. Does that make you like eleven or something?”

  “Fine. I won’t skirt. Or short, or pants, or shirt.” She paused to roll her eyes, more than likely at herself, which only made my chest rumble harder with restrained amusement. “By toe, I meant your . . . penis.” She barely got that out. “By water, I was referring to her vagina. And when I said dip, I meant thrust or . . . yeah, thrust works. We’ll leave it at that.”

  I wasn’t sure how much longer I’d be able to keep it together without falling over in a fit of hysterics. “I don’t believe her husband would’ve appreciated that. I mean, yeah, the dinner was great, but she paid.”

  Tatum narrowed her gaze, nearly stifling the laughter that shook my shoulders. “I’m not sure how to take that. Why would you date a married woman? More importantly, why do it if you have no intention to sleep with her? Is she your sugar mama or something?”

  “No. I actually just met her tonight.”

  She patted my knee, as if comforting me, and said, “You’re not helping your case any.”

  “It wasn’t a date.”

  “Then what was it?”

  “She hired me.”

  A smile spread across her lips. “This just keeps getting better and better. Do I want to know what she hired you for?”

  “A job. You know . . . what I went to school for.”

  “You had a job interview at Fathom 216? Seems pretty extravagant for someone who works in a landfill.”

  I shook my head and covered my face with my hand, unable to refrain from laughing. “What the hell has my cousin told you about me? I don’t work in a landfill. I’m an engineer who specializes in the structures of landfills. I work in an office. At a computer.”

  “Oh.” Her mouth hung open, and surprise brightened her eyes. “Yeah, that’s nothing close to what I thought you did. Like . . . at all.”

  “Kelsey’s going to pay dearly for this.” I took a moment to soak in the humor tugging at her lips. “Now that we have that out of the way . . . care to share with me what happened tonight?”

  “You mean the thing we both agreed we’d never discuss?”

  “Yup. That.”

  She leaned forward, bringing her face much closer to mine, which caused my lungs to freeze up. “How exactly am I supposed to share something we said we wouldn’t talk about?”

  “Easy. Like this . . .” I tried to reposition myself on the bed, and somehow, I ended up with my hand on her thigh rather than her knee, where I’d
aimed. Yet I kept it there and acted like it was no big deal. “What made you come out into the dining room and do that thing we won’t mention?”

  “Oh, that?” She leaned back and flicked her wrist to wave off my question. It wasn’t clear if she needed to put space between us or if it was merely a natural reaction. “Someone needed a chocolate cake, and Rebecca wasn’t at her station. The plate was just sitting there, so I took it and delivered it to the table.”

  “And you decided at the last minute to sing?”

  “You said we weren’t going to mention that part.”

  “Right. My apologies.”

  “But if you must know, when I got to the table, I started to worry it was for a birthday. Then I got wrapped up in ‘should I sing, should I not sing, would they get pissed if I was supposed to and didn’t’ . . . until before I knew it, the first verse was out. And by then, I couldn’t very well stop and walk away.”

  “You’re absolutely right. That would’ve just been awkward.”

  “Tell me about it. No need in embarrassing myself unnecessarily.”

  “And you blew on the candle . . . why?”

  “Someone had to.” Her voice lilted at the end, indicating the silent duh.

  “That makes perfect sense. The switch on the bottom kind of ruins it, huh?”

  “You saw that?”

  “Saw what?” I played dumb. It was clear I’d broken through a good bit of her wall, and I didn’t care to watch her erect it right now. “I didn’t see anything. Much like we’re not discussing this right now.”

  “Gee, I don’t know what I would do without you, Jay.” Her eyes widened in surprise. “I mean, Jason. I have no idea why I just called you that.”

  “It’s fine. You can call me whatever you want.” Except brother, I wanted to add but didn’t.

  “Well, thanks for checking on me. But you really didn’t need to come all the way over here to see if I was okay.”