Radley's Home for Horny Monsters

by Annabelle Hawthorne

  After they ate, Tink followed him upstairs, where the bath had already filled itself with hot water. Mike smiled at the silver brush that had been left on the rim of the tub by the soap and shampoo. Tink stripped off her shirt, and Mike helped her into the bath.

  It started innocent enough-Mike pulled off what was left of his bandages and joined her, and they took turns cleaning each other. Mike used a rag to wash the dirt and grime off of Tink, to discover that her dark green skin was actually the bright green of a healthy lawn. He scrubbed her back, marveling at the prominent ridges along her spine, making him think of her as a tiny dragon instead.

  “Tink’s turn.” Tink gently washed around his wounds, taking particular care near the bite mark on his shoulder, which was now just a series of small scabs. She scrubbed him slowly, looking to him constantly for approval. He smiled, which caused her to smile back, showing all of her needle sharp teeth.

  Her hair was the worst. Mike had Tink dunk her head, which turned the water brown. He drained the tub and refilled it twice, helping her shampoo the long, dirty strands. Once it was clean, Mike discovered that her hair was a dark auburn, with alternating streaks of red and brown throughout. While he had been willing to fuck her earlier, the emerald creature in his tub was looking more and more feminine with every layer of dirt they scrubbed off, and Mike was realizing what a gem she actually was.

  Tink sat in front of him, her head and shoulders above the water. Even though she was clean enough, he was having a tough time taking his hands off of her. Tink sighed and scooted back against him. Her fingers lightly traced shapes on his thighs.

  Mike slid his hands along the tops of her shoulders, then down across her chest. He squeezed her breasts as one of her hands circled his cock.

  He pulled Tink up onto one of his legs, using it like a booster seat. With her wet hair pulled to one side, she reminded him of the green girl from Guardians of the Galaxy, albeit much smaller. She growled affectionately at him, and he slid his hand down her thigh and into the patch of hair between her legs.

  “No biting this time,” he warned her, tracing circles around her crotch.

  “No bites,” Tink promised, her pink tongue running across her thin lips. She licked the side of his neck, tickling his ear when she reached it. Mike explored her pussy, puzzled at the shape of it. She had a double set of labia, the outer set thin while the inner set was puffy and engorged. He ran his fingers over them slowly, enjoying how the folds squeezed at his fingers.

  Tink shivered in the warm water, her tail splashing the surface. While Tink was enjoying herself, Mike was having difficulty finding what he was looking for. Determined, he searched her folds for any trace of a fleshy nub, hoping that his theory about goblin anatomy would prove correct. After a minute of this, he decided to explore something else, pulling her leg wide and pushing a finger inside of her.

  Tink let out a growl, and Mike was surprised to feel not one, but two semi-hard lumps just inside her pussy. He hooked his finger, tracing figure eights around them, and Tink gyrated her hips in rhythm with his movements. It was no wonder that he had trouble fitting earlier-he could barely bend his finger inside her, and her pussy was already squeezing it so tight it was uncomfortable.

  Mike grabbed Tink by one of her horns, tilting her head sideways so that he could kiss her neck. Tink was still stroking his shaft with one hand while pinching a double nipple with the other, her claws digging into her skin hard enough that Mike was worried that she would hurt herself.

  “We...we should lower the water a bit,” he said. “It’ll make it easier.”

  “This time, Mike fit,” Tink declared, leaving Mike to pull the plug. The tub drained until the water level was below his hips, and then he pushed the plug back in place.

  Mike held onto Tink’s horns as she went down on him, her long tongue wrapping around his dick, leaving behind a trail of slime that made his dick tingle. While her teeth made him nervous, her mouth was big enough that not only did she take his cock all the way to the back, but his balls as well. Mike held tightly to her horns again and thrust his dick in even faster, shuddering at the smooth feeling of her tongue.. Every time she took the entire length of him, she swallowed, her throat squeezing the head of his dick.

  “Tink, that feels amazing,” Mike told her. She let out a growl of pleasure, and Mike began humping her face.

  The goblin fingered herself while pinching her breast. Mike began all-out face fucking her, causing her to moan every time he bottomed out in her throat.

  “Fuck,” he muttered, feeling the pressure build.

  Tink wrapped her tongue around his balls, staving off his orgasm. She opened her mouth wide, and Mike realized that he was so far down her throat that the head of his dick was stuck in place. Tink swallowed several times, squeezing him. Her wide, innocent eyes looked up at him lovingly, but her long tongue squeezed even harder, trapping his orgasm. She slapped at his hands, and he let go of her horns. She pulled her head back, and Mike popped out of the back of her throat.

  “Not yet,” she chastised him, scooting forward. Mike lifted her by the hips and set her down on his cock. Her tail swished back and forth, and Mike almost came at the sheer heat of her tight walls. Tink growled at him, trying to force herself down the length of his cock again.

  “Tink, it’s okay,” Mike told her, but she was having none of it. She turned around, facing away from him. Her ass was like a giant peach from this position, a heart-shaped fruit ripe for the plucking. Tink grunted in frustration again, trying to force Mike’s length all the way into her body.

  “This time, Mike fit,” she growled in frustration, slamming into him with long thrusts. She always came up a couple inches short. If nothing else, she was determined.

  “Tink, I’m going to come soon,” Mike informed her.

  The pool of water left behind in the tub bubbled, sending tiny spheres of water into the air. “Not if I can help it,” Naia’s voice came. A hand made of water wrapped around the base of his cock, once again cutting off his orgasm. The nymph emerged from the water, her dress plastered against her body. Tink was panting, fighting off an orgasm of her own.

  “Naia!” Mike said, shocked to see her.

  Naia snapped her fingers, and then her dress vanished. She put both hands on Tink’s shoulders and gave her a hard push.

  Mike moaned, his balls aching as he slid in almost half an inch more.

  “That’s right, lover.” Naia gave Tink another push, but she simply couldn’t go any further. “I saw you struggling, and thought I would help. Is it really that important that he fit inside of you?” Naia asked Tink.

  Tink nodded, apparently unable to speak.

  “Then there’s only one choice.” Naia pulled Tink off of Mike’s cock and maneuvered her onto her hands and knees. Mike’s cock was covered in Tink’s creamy fluids and his own precum. Leaning over Tink, Naia grabbed her tail and lifted it. Mike was treated to the vision of Tink’s puckered asshole, dark green and coated in her own juices. “I can guarantee that he will fit in here.”

  Mike felt a sudden surge from within and his heart beat in excitement. Naia held Tink’s tail up, and Mike positioned the head of his cock at her ass. Tink gasped as Mike pushed in, her fluids providing plenty of lubrication. Just as the head of his cock penetrated her, Tink wiggled her ass, forcing herself back.

  “Make...Mike...fit...” she declared, working her way steadily down. Somehow, her asshole was even tighter than her pussy, and Mike could feel Tink’s pulse through his cock. He’d only made it halfway in when he found he couldn’t go any further. Tink let out a frustrated moan.

  “Don’t worry, dear, big sister Naia will help.” A mischievous grin on her face, Naia drew a pattern in the water. The water sprouted finger-like tendrils which tickled Tink’s pussy. Her breath came in ragged gasps as her hips lurched back and forth. Tink growled, then moaned, then growled as Mike’s dick worked its way in even further.

  “Oh God,” Mike moaned, the water hand
gripping his balls even tighter. He grunted, pulling his dick out and then pushing it back in, trying to get his balls to touch her green flesh with every push.

  “You need to pay it forward, little sister,” Naia informed Tink. Grabbing onto her horns, Naia pulled Tink’s head between her legs. Tink greedily lapped at Naia’s folds, while Naia hovered above the water’s surface. “Yes, that’s a good little goblin.”

  “That doesn’t seem like little sister behavior,” Mike muttered.

  “Nymphs don’t follow conventional family rules,” Naia replied, then sighed in pleasure.

  “Ngggh,” Tink added, gasping occasionally when the water fingers penetrated her. Mike shuddered, the sensation of the fingers traveling through the thin wall between Tink’s pussy and ass setting him over the edge. He was certain Naia was working magic on Tink, because the goblin was letting out tiny shrieks every few seconds now, her body tensing up and relaxing.

  “Nobody comes until Mike bottoms out,” Naia declared.

  Frantic, Tink pushed herself backward as hard as she could.

  Naia handed Tink’s tail to Mike. “Make sure you pull it by the base.”

  One hand on Tink’s hip, the other on her tail, he began pulling with all his might, every thrust getting him even closer. He wrapped a hand around Tink’s stomach, feeling the bulge of his dick moving beneath the skin of her belly.

  “Oh fuck. Oh fuck. FUCK!” Mike felt Tink tighten, then relax. His dick slid the rest of the way in, his balls slamming against her ass cheeks. She tensed up once he was all the way in and grunted into Naia’s pussy. He fucked Tink’s ass with very tiny thrusts, unable to move much farther, and Naia winked at him, touching the water with her finger. The pressure around the base of his balls vanished, and he felt several waves of energy build up simultaneously.

  Tink came, spraying a milky fluid into the water, and Mike filled her ass, coming again and again, his stomach aching from the number of times he tensed up. Mike let out a growl.

  Tink collapsed face first into Naia, then turned her head sideways in her lap. Large tears were running down her face, and Mike worried that she was hurt.

  Naia held up a hand to stop him from moving her. “They’re happy tears, Mike. Let her have this moment,” she whispered.

  Mike rubbed the base of Tink’s back, then ran his hands over her bubble-shaped butt in lazy circles. Much like before, Mike started to go soft, but still couldn’t slide free. He grabbed Tink’s shoulders, pulling her up into a sitting position. She let out little whimpers as he slid himself free, cradling her in his arms.

  “God, that was so fucking hot!” Naia declared. The faucet turned itself on. The tub began filling up once more.

  Tink slid away from Mike, then turned to face him. “Tink know you make great goblin husband,” she told him, a single tear traveling down her cheek. Her yellow eyes were like stars, reflecting the light above the tub.

  Naia picked up the brush from the side of the tub. Mike gave Tink a kiss on the forehead as Naia began working the brush through Tink’s tangled hair.

  “Tink is a great goblin wife,” Mike declared, smiling at the monsters in his tub.

  Made of Stone

  Mike yawned, the morning light through the white curtains casting a blissful glow on the room. He scratched the back of his neck and kicked the lump near the bottom of his bed. He sat up, then leaned forward to give the lump a playful pat.

  “It’s time to get up, Tink.”

  The lump slid to the edge of the bed and disappeared over the edge with a thud. “Owie,” Tink muttered, standing up holding her bottom. She was wearing a tank top night shirt, one of the things Mike had ordered through Amazon, as a full dress. She wore her goggles too, refusing to part with them, even at night.

  “How did you sleep?” Mike asked, sliding out of bed in just his boxers.

  Tink responded with a yawn, her wide mouth revealing dozens of needle-sharp teeth. “Tink sleep extra heavy. Mike hog bed.”

  “I did not hog the bed,” he said. After the threesome in the bath, Naia had spent a solid hour brushing Tink’s hair out, and then braiding it tightly against Tink’s head, starting at the base of her horns and running behind her ears. Mike eventually wandered out his front door (with a wary glance at the swing) to retrieve the Amazon packages he had ordered; some replacement shirts for himself, and some clothes he thought Tink would like. Tink had cried when he showed her the shirts he had bought -they all fit her like little dresses, albeit the fit was odd.

  Naia informed Mike that Tink’s skills extended to sewing as well, and that the goblin would likely alter the material later for a better fit.

  “Mike hog bed, too much roll over. Goblin husband have bad dreams.” Tink beat him to the bathroom, closing the door behind her. She wasn’t wrong-Mike, despite ending the night on the best note of his life, had suffered through the standard recurring dreams again. He stared at the scar tissue on his hip, pondering why his brain insisted on living through the worst moments of his life in dream form, his broken mother shrieking at him from the past.

  “You okay?” Naia’s voice drifted up from the tub. “I’m getting a vibe off of you.”

  “Just some old memories. I’m okay.” Tink flushed the toilet, but the door remained shut. Wondering what was taking so long, Mike opened the door.

  The goblin stared at the water swirling in the bowl, her goggles pulled down over her eyes.

  Mike didn’t dare investigate any farther, preferring to wait.

  “Bad pipe,” Tink declared. “Water not fast enough. Bad pipe.” She looked at Mike, her eyes magnified through her goggles. “Tink can fix, but need some parts.”

  “How can you tell?” Mike asked. The toilet seemed slow, but the house was old.

  “Tink know.” She tapped her goggles. “Tink good at fix, but goggles good at seeing what need fix. Tell Tink big water leak come soon.”

  “Shit. Is it safe to use again?”

  “For now, is safe.” Tink strolled out of the bathroom, giving Mike’s butt a slap. “Need fix in couple days, or big mess. Tink look in basement today, check where pipes go.” Her stomach growled. “Tink go after breakfast.”

  “Yeah, I’ll make us something.” Mike excused himself, then peed in the toilet. The tiny scratches on his arms and legs looked bad, but didn’t hurt any longer, which was a good sign. He walked out of the bathroom, staring into the tub. “Is it weird that I’m just sort of accepting this? The last twenty-four hours have been out of my depth.”

  “It’s what makes you a good fit,” Naia’s voice informed him. “You can handle all of this because it isn’t normal. When you got into a fight with Tink, you thought outside the box to make sure she stayed, even if it meant fucking a goblin. I know you did it partially for me, but you did it partially for the house without realizing it. It works through you, much as it does through me. If you had encountered a horny, human woman down there who wanted to suck your dick, you would have suffered a panic attack and come running inside.”

  Mike thought about this for a second. Naia was right. Somehow, the sheer lunacy of this whole situation wasn’t even registering on his panic meter. “Did my great aunt handle it as well as me?”

  “In some aspects, yes,” Naia replied. “She accepted things quickly, but she didn’t take your unique approach to tackling problems.” Her laugh echoed in the tub. “At least, not right away. We spent plenty of nights together in the tub, just the two of us.”

  “Gonna be honest, not sure how to take that news right now.” Mike pulled a shirt over his head. “I’ll see you later.”

  “Stop out in the garden,” Naia told him. “I would love the company.”

  “Can do.” Mike left his room and walked silently down the long hall. He pondered every closed door he passed, seeing each as an inevitable trap. What was hiding here, behind these quiet doors? Eventually, he would open them all, checking each room for another Tink, or even a Cecilia.

  A chill went up his spine at the th
ought of the banshee. He needed to make nice with her, and he thought he had a good way to do it. He placed his hand on the top rail of the stairs, looking down the rest of the hall. There were two doors on each side of the hall and a tall, ebony wardrobe with a silver handle.

  Had that wardrobe always been there?

  The sound of breaking glass startled him. He ran down the stairs and into the kitchen to see Tink frowning at a busted bowl on the floor. She blushed when she saw him.

  “Tink got startled,” she explained, eying the bowl. “But Tink can fix.”

  “Don’t bother.” Mike grabbed a broom and swept up the glass. “Bowls are easily replaced.”

  Tink nodded at this, following him to the fridge. Mike pulled a box of Eggos out of the freezer.

  “Are those good?” Tink asked. Mike nodded, shoving them in the toaster.

  “Eggos? The best, as long as you know how to dress them up properly.” Pulling a tub of butter from the fridge, he set syrup and peanut butter next to it on the counter. When the toaster popped, he stacked the Eggos on his plate, slathering them first in butter, then peanut butter. He topped them with some syrup and handed them to Tink. “Try that and let me know what you think.”

  Tink took the plate, sniffing at the Eggos. “Tink not so sure,” she informed him before picking up an Eggo. She bit into it, syrup and peanut butter running down her chin.

  “So what do you think?” Mike asked.

  “Tink think goblin husband learn to cook.” She handed the plate back to Mike. “Tink need real food.” She opened the fridge, standing on her tiptoes to see to the back. Her double nipples perked up under the cold air. “Tink like pizza.”

  “Well, we’re out of pizza, but maybe this will help.” Mike pulled a bag of pizza rolls out of the freezer. “We can cook these up in a hurry.”

  “Use oven. Microwave is lazy.” Tink took the bag from him and read the instructions. “Tink can do this. Mike eat Eggo things.”