Radley's Home for Horny Monsters

by Annabelle Hawthorne

  “Please,” Abella begged him. “I want to feel a human dick inside of me. Do it!”

  Mike pulled his fingers free. Her bodily fluids were dark, like oil, and smelled like black licorice. He gave himself a few strokes and pressed his cock against her opening, amazed at how it unfolded for him as he pushed into her.

  “Oh. Oh. OH!” Abella trapped Mike with her muscular legs, pulling him in tight as she rubbed herself with her hand. She tugged at her folds, revealing a ruby clitoris the size of a robin’s egg. Mike stared at her as she did all the work, using her wings as a lever to lift her hips and lower them. He did his best to thrust into her, but she had him pinned in place.

  “Loosen your grip,” he said, slapping her thighs to get her attention. Abella ignored him at first, but finally caught on when he let out a grunt of pain. She was crushing his hips, her stony legs bruising the skin on his sides. She slowed the pace and allowed him room to maneuver.

  “This is so hot,” she whispered, touching his chest with her free hand. “I can feel how warm your skin is when you’re inside me. Human beings are so warm, and so soft, and-nngh!” Her teeth clenched and she bucked against him, slamming her hands against the cliff floor and scattering tiny rocks with her fluttering wings. Her excitement drove him closer to the edge, and he put his hands on her smooth breasts, pummeling her as hard as he could. He pulled all the way out, teasing her triangular slit with the head of his cock briefly before pushing back in. Every time he did it, Abella gasped for air as his balls slapped against her cold buttocks.

  “Oh shit!” Mike tensed, and then came. His eyes wide, he felt it, a sudden shift in energy between them.

  Abella pulled him close, gasping and muttering in French as he went limp in her arms.

  Tiny drops of rain pelted his face. He was laying between her breasts, a stupid smile on his face. She was running her fingers through his hair.

  “Did it work?” he asked her, catching his breath.

  “Only one way to find out,” she told him.

  He pulled free of her, watching her vagina close up, trapping all of his semen inside her.

  She stood, her wings cast defiantly into the stormy wind that was barreling down on them in the distance. She jumped from the ledge, wings spread wide, circling out over the valley.

  Mike fumbled with his pants, zipping them shut as she returned.

  “We must hurry,” she informed him, flapping her wings so that she hovered above him. “I am already weakening.”

  “Let’s do this, then.” He grabbed her ankles, and she clutched his wrists gently with her feet. Pulling him out into the sky, she beat slow, lazy circles as they climbed, the cliff’s edge becoming visible once more. Once they were high enough, she soared toward the greenhouse itself, a distorted wall of glass that climbed into the sky until it disappeared from view. The Mandragora vines were moving about a different part of the cliffs now, still searching for its prey. They shot overhead the Mandragora, crashing through one of the broken panels. Abella and Mike crashed into the yard, tumbling head over heels until they came to a rest, both of them staring into the darkening afternoon skies of Earth.

  Firing Squad

  “Ow, fuck!” Mike winced as Naia inspected the large bruise forming above his hip bone where Abella had squeezed him with her stony thighs. The Mandragora plant had actually injured him less than the gargoyle had, surprisingly enough. Save for some scrapes on his hands (well, and not being eaten), he was fine.

  “Yeah, that will sting for a while.” Naia placed a kiss on it. “You had me so worried! I’ve never seen the Mandragora do that before. You’re going to need to feed it pretty soon.”

  “Yeah, that’s right. Meat and cheese and wine. We’re going on a picnic next Wednesday,” Mike informed her.

  “Oh, really? I think that’s a great idea,” Naia said. “She’ll love that!”

  “Wait, the plant...” A cold sweat broke out on his forehead, even though he was standing naked in the fountain. “It can...it can...”

  “I’m just kidding, goofball. The Mandragora can’t leave the greenhouse.” Naia glanced over at Abella. She sat in the water, her wings pulled close to her body, watching the tiny water spheres circle the fountain, glowing with their own inner light. The sun was setting on the other side of the house, and the garden was cast into darkness, save for Naia’s magic spheres. “You need to be more careful, Abella. Mike isn’t made of steel.”

  “I know,” Abella grumbled, flicking the water with her finger. “Felt really good though.”

  “That part I get, and I’m grateful you got to him before he was eaten. But none of this would have happened if you hadn’t picked that little cubby to hole up in.”

  “I was tired of washing off bird shit,” Abella said, popping a bubble with her talon. It reformed on the other side of the fountain. “If I had known Emily was going to croak, I wouldn’t have come down here. It wouldn’t have mattered if the Mandragora hadn’t broken loose.”

  “And that’s the peril of living here. The Mandragora wouldn’t have broken out if Tink had spotted the cracked windows. Tink wouldn’t have slept for so long if a new Caretaker had been selected in a reasonable amount of time. I’m actually kind of worried about what other surprises await us as we discover more of the house. I can’t imagine that the Mandragora is the only potential danger.”

  “There’s an easy solution,” Abella said. “We need to make sure that someone is with him at all times. Currently, any time he is outside the house, he is under my care.”

  “You can come inside,” Mike offered. “There’s no reason for you to be out here.”

  “There is, actually. I’m a living statue-not only am I likely to damage the interior of the house, but my kind hates being indoors. I come inside only for emergencies.”

  “Oh.” Mike sat on the edge of the fountain. The water was warm now, heated by Naia’s magic. “If guardianship is so important, then why didn’t Emily have something set up in advance?”

  Naia shrugged, her greenish-blue hair shifting along the curves of her breasts. She was wearing her simple gown currently, which Mike actually preferred. It gave her some wonderful cleavage for him to look at. “It seems like there was a reason, but it’s been gobbled up for me. I remember arguing about it with her, but there are definitely gaps.”

  “Which means it involves another monster.” Mike frowned at the water. “It seems like inheriting this home in itself is like a trial of sorts. If I’m not qualified for the job, something could kill me.”

  Naia and Abella exchanged looks. “Someone with him at all times,” they both said.

  “Well, that just means Tink needs to stick with me when I’m indoors,” Mike said.

  “Anytime you go exploring, anyway. Currently, you’ve restricted your explorations to out here, and unless you go back in the greenhouse, you should be fine.”

  ‘And I need to feed the Mandragora, apparently. Any other plants living in there I should worry about?”

  Naia shrugged, but Abella nodded.

  “Yes, actually. The jungle inside the greenhouse is an extension of the house. The plants being grown in there are there for a reason. Think of it like a little herb garden, but with spell components. A wizard would kill for access to it- I imagine that there are things in there that might even be extinct in the wild.”

  “Wait, wizards? Those are real too?” Mike looked to Naia, who just rolled her eyes at him. “Yeah, I guess that makes sense.”

  “They aren’t as prevalent as in those pigwarts books,” Naia told him.

  “Hogwarts,” Mike corrected her.

  “Whatever. Last I heard, the wizards of this realm were extremely limited in number. Less than forty total since Merlin sealed away magic for humans. Maybe one person a century figures out how to do magic on their own, and usually the others who already do track them down and kill them.”

  “Holy shit.” Mike shook his head. “That’s insane.”

  “Now you know why monste
rs and magic items are so coveted. For some, it’s the only way to gain any true power, at least safely.” Naia tilted her head at Abella. “Gargoyles are impervious to most normal means. Neither blade nor flame can scratch their hides, and they are extremely strong. There are few places in the world that could protect you from a gargoyle attack. With just Abella at your side, you could have your enemies killed with little fear of recourse.”

  “Well, not that I really do that now,” Abella added. “I’m bound to the house. Unless such a task involves the long-term protection of this place, I can’t fly very far from here without feeling a strong urge to return.”

  “So, if I was in trouble a mile from here, you would come for me?” Mike asked.

  “Potentially. It would need to be a situation dire enough that I knew your chances of survival were slim.” Abella shrugged, her stony breasts shifting. “I’m more like a bouncer than anything else.”

  “How do you know what a bouncer is?”

  “Please. I’m not that sheltered.” Abella popped another bubble. “I have a people fetish. I watch lots of TV.”

  “Outside?”

  “Emily would leave the window open for me sometimes,” Abella said. “It’s not like I need sleep or anything.”

  “Aren’t you supposed to be watching the house?”

  “Gargoyles have phenomenal hearing,” Abella told him. “If it’s quiet enough, I can hear a heartbeat from twenty feet.”

  “Whoa.”

  “Speaking of which, Tink is looking for you. I can hear her calling your name.”

  “She’s probably worried. I’ve been gone all day.” Mike walked in the back door, listening carefully. He heard noise from the kitchen, and found Tink digging through a junk drawer .

  “Hey there.” Tink jumped at the sound of his voice. She was covered in dirt and grime, and even cobwebs. “Where have you been?”

  “Checking pipes,” Tink informed him, beaming. “Easy fix.”

  “What are you looking for in there?”

  “Tink look for money.”

  “Why do you need money?”

  The doorbell chimed, echoing through the house. Mike stared at Tink, who stared back.

  “Who is that?” Mike asked.

  “Pizza,” Tink replied, scratching at a greasy smudge on her face.

  “How did you order a pizza?”

  “Tink use magic screen. Type in pizza.”

  Mike stared at the little goblin, mouth open. “My laptop was locked. How did you get in?”

  Tink tapped the goggles on her head. “Tink order extra good pizza.”

  The doorbell chimed again. Mike grabbed his hair in frustration, then pointed at Tink. “Stay out of sight. We’ll have the internet talk later.”

  Tink shrugged, walking out of the kitchen.

  Shaking his head, he ran to the front of the house and opened the door. Holding pizza in one hand and a two liter of soda in the other was Dana. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and tonight she wore a tight white top under her black jacket. The jacket was unzipped, revealing a pair of breasts that had been forced together by a dark black bra that peeked out along the edges of her neckline, the same breasts that had sent him into Naia’s tub in the first place.

  Mike’s mouth went dry.

  “Hey!” Dana said, holding out the pizza. “How are things?”

  “Um, good?” Mike took the pizza. Dana was all smiles for him, and he felt that familiar nervousness hit him, a wave of anxiety across his whole body. “Uh, I didn’t, um, expect you so fast. Let me grab my wallet.”

  “Yeah, sure.”

  Mike backed into the house and was dismayed when Dana followed him inside.

  “Whoa, this place is spooky!” Dana looked around at the furniture, which was still covered with white sheets. She pointed just off to the side of the stairs. “Does that grandfather clock actually work? I didn’t see it last time.” She knelt to examine the pendulum. The back of her pants slid down, revealing that she wasn’t wearing any underwear. Dana opened the door of the clock, her jacket lifting up to reveal a tattoo along her lower back.

  “I, um...” Where had that clock come from? He couldn’t concentrate, staring at Dana’s exposed ass. “I’ll be right back.” He ran into the kitchen. Tink was busy staring at his laptop computer, which she had unlocked again. “Don’t touch anything on there,” he told her, setting the pizza down on the table. Grabbing his wallet, he walked back out to find Dana giving the pendulum inside the clock a push.

  The entryway filled with the soft sounds of moving gears. The old clock’s second hand started moving around the face of the clock. Dana’s face lit up in excitement. “That is so cool!”

  “You like clocks or something?” Mike asked. He held out a twenty, unsure what the total was.

  “Oh yeah. I’m going to school for mechanical engineering. I love stuff like this.” Dana took the money from him and dug into her pockets for change. Just then a loud splash came from the bathroom. They both looked up.

  “What was that?” Dana asked.

  “Bad pipe. Trying to get it fixed. Go ahead, keep the change,” Mike told her.

  “Are you sure? Thank you!” Dana’s face lit up, and she hugged Mike. Her breasts were soft, pushing against his chest, and he shivered as blood flow redirected to his dick. “Oh, shit, I’m so sorry!” she said, her face turning red as she backed away, stuffing the money in her pocket. “I don’t normally do that, it’s just that you’ve been very generous, and I needed extra money to get my bike fixed, and you’re so cu-“ Dana’s mouth slammed shut, her face glowing brighter. “I’m sorry, I just-thank you.”

  “It’s okay. I remember what it’s like, working my way through school. I’m doing pretty well now, so just trying to pay it forward.” He stepped around her and opened the door. Dana stepped out onto the porch and Mike would have left her there, but Cecilia was sitting on the swing, gazing out into the yard. Mike walked onto the porch, keeping Dana from looking at the banshee. “So tell me more about your major.”

  “Not a lot to tell. Class during the day, labs on weekend mornings. I have this gig to help make ends meet with student loans and such. I’m the only girl in my program now, so I deal with a lot of creeps.” She said the last bit with a great deal of emotion, but Mike decided not to ask about it.

  Mike stayed just ahead of her, walking down the path to her car, hoping she wouldn’t look back. Cecilia seemed quite content on her swing, her hair fanning out around her as if she was storing up a massive charge.

  “Hey, if you need an extra hand fixing stuff around here, I would love to help out. My dad worked construction when I was growing up, so I’m pretty handy.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind.” They were at her car now, with the glowing Pizza Palace marquee on its roof. She seemed reluctant to leave, but got in, buckled up, then gave him a wave, the light from her GPS casting an eerie light on her face as she drove away.

  Mike let out a huge sigh, then ran back up the steps to the house. Cecilia wasn’t sitting anymore-instead she was staring inside the living room window. “Something is happening,” she informed him.

  “What?” Mike asked. Cecilia shrugged. You’re the Check Engine Light of the Damned, Mike thought to himself. He walked inside, staring upstairs and then toward the kitchen. Choosing the kitchen, he found Tink sitting at the table, clicking through websites on his laptop while eating her ill-gotten pizza.

  “We need to have a quick chat about... what the hell are you eating?” He was standing behind her, and Tink tilted her head up and back.

  “Tink order best pizza,” she informed him, holding up a slice for his inspection. Pepperoni, sausage, and pineapple adorned the top. The soda she had picked was orange, most of which was gone already. Only two slices of pizza were left in the box.

  “You really are a little monster, aren’t you?” Mike flicked a piece of pineapple off.

  “Tink find good stuff on magic screen.”

  Looking over the
top of her head, he saw that she was on Amazon and currently had nearly a hundred items in his cart. He leaned past her and opened it up to see what she was buying. “Tink!” he shouted, seeing that his total was in the thousands. “What do you think you are doing?”

  “Tink see good stuff for fix house.” She opened her mouth wide and dropped an entire piece of pizza in. She licked the grease off her fingers. “Tink has job to do.”

  “Okay, I see we’re going to have to talk about this right now.” Mike closed the laptop, eliciting protest from Tink. “The magic screen is off limits for the time being. Now I want you to-“

  A loud thud caused the light hanging above the table to sway from side to side. Tink slid her goggles on, and they both stared at the ceiling.

  “What was that?” Mike asked.

  “Tink not sure.” She touched the side of her goggles, rotating a dial Mike had never noticed. “Water in ceiling.”

  “Oh fuck.” Mike remembered the splashing noise from before. Running toward the stairs, he slid to a stop when he saw that the grandfather clock was no longer there. “Fuck!” Sprinting up the stairs, his feet squished on wet carpet when he neared the bedroom door. Shoving it open, he heard running water splashing against the bathroom floor. He moved toward the sound, stepping into the bathroom. “Naia?”

  “It’s about fucking time!” Naia appeared, splashing water everywhere. “I’ve been shouting for you to get up here.”

  “I didn’t hear you. The door was closed.” Tink slammed into Mike from behind, nearly knocking him over. “What’s wrong?”

  “There’s a fire elemental loose, nasty little shit was sniffing around up here. I was trying to snuff him out, but he got away.”

  “What does it look like?” Mike asked. Walking into his room, he saw tiny scorch marks all along the wall. Inspecting them from up close, he saw that they were footprints.

  “Like a lizard,” Naia said from behind him. “Mike, it isn’t something from the house. It got in somehow, and it was laying low.”

  “For what reason?” he asked, peering under the bed.