William's Blood

by S S Bazinet

  “Perhaps.”

  “Great.” Arel clamped his jaw shut on the word, trying to make its meaning fill his mind long enough to get through the meeting. But the sound of children’s voices barged in. The past was back and invading his thoughts. He saw the twin boys again. Their pitched, excited cries of joy filled the air as they raced each other down a dusty path.

  William stood up slowly. “Well then, I think I’ll go downstairs and pack.”

  As Arel watched William limp out of the room, reality continued to shift back and forth. The past seemed so real. The sight and sound of the boys was as tangible as the desk where he sat. But they weren’t on the path anymore. They were standing next to him. Their excitement was gone, replaced by puzzled faces. They looked up to him for answers. What went wrong? Why had he and William become so estranged?

  Arel didn’t know what to say. The young boys were depending on him to fix things, but he couldn’t. He’d never been able to fix anything when it came to brothers. He’d been no older than the boys next to him, when his real brother, Aldwin, was killed. Horror filled the big manor house that day. At first, he didn’t understand his mother’s screams. Afterwards as she began to quiet, he stood on the staircase above the large entry hall and peered downward. His brother lay bloodied and still on the massive receiving table below. But Arel couldn’t make sense of what was happening. Or maybe he didn’t want to understand. Instead, he crept down the worn stairs ever so carefully, avoiding the creaky places like he always did when he didn’t want to draw attention to himself. When he reached the bottom, he tread across the cold, stone floor, furtively glancing at his parents as they continued to grieve. When he reached the table where they had laid his brother, he didn’t hesitate. He grasped Aldwin’s hand in his own. It was so cold. That’s when he couldn’t deny what was happening. Still, he begged his brother not to leave him. But it didn’t bring Aldwin back. It simply ignited his father’s wrath. Leaping from his chair, the man exploded into a rage, blaming Arel for being the child that lived. His father’s cane came down on his back over and over.

  Now William is leaving me too.

  He was losing another brother, not a real one, but one he’d substituted for Aldwin.

  But it’s all in my mind. I can’t replace Aldwin. And that past life, when Will and I were twins, is ancient history. Yet I’ve been refusing to let go of any of it.

  He’d been the same when he was a child. It took a very hard blow across his back to wrench him away from Aldwin. For a boy his size, his grasp was surprisingly strong. It had to be. Once his brother’s hand slipped away from his, he knew all would be lost. His life from that day forward bore out that fact. How many times after Aldwin’s death did a servant save his life when his drunken father started beating him?

  But my father’s not beating me anymore. He’s dead. I’m the true source of my misery.

  Clarity hit home. He sat very still, trying to put the pieces of his current mental state together. He’d always had an active imagination, but this was so much more serious.

  My visions of children are just fantasies that I’ve manufactured because I wanted a connection to William.

  Why didn’t he concentrate on what Michael had been telling him all along?

  “You don’t need other people or the past to define who you are, Arel. The trick is to take a chance and let go of everything. Once you do, once you discover who you really are, you’ll be free.”

  Arel’s frown deepened.

  Of course, as usual, Michael’s right.

  But it wasn’t an easy task. He’d had the strength to hold on to dreams and stories he told himself. Now he had to believe he had the strength to let go and embrace what was real.

  William has moved on, and so can I.

  Everything brightened as soon as he made the decision. For the first time in months, he noticed what he hadn’t lost. He’d been in such a state of turmoil that he’d forgotten to see what was right in front of him. Like Carey said, he had a great home and a great life if he wanted it. Outside the paned windows, the gray skies were clearing, allowing the sun to peek through.

  I’ve hardly given any of it a moment’s notice.

  A brilliant ray of sunlight flickered over the papers on his desk.

  When was the last time I enjoyed a sunny day?

  Still, he’d close the curtains just enough to save the desk from further damage.

  Which reminds me—

  He was about to get up and search for the furniture oil when he remembered one last detail that hadn’t been addressed. When William returned to London, an assassin would be waiting for him. That particular detail wasn’t in the past. It was looming over William’s future. But it didn’t have to.

  It could be fun to sleuth out the villain. Arel could secretly fly to London, find the guy, and put a stop to his plans. It would be his parting gift to William.

  Fifty-Two

  ANNABEL PUT THE phone down and smiled. William was coming home. Recalling the sound of his voice sent a thrill of anticipation through her body. “What a delightful feeling!”

  She put her hands in her pockets and began to pace back and forth in the lower level of the house. It was her favorite place to spend time since Arel and William left. The mice were there, and she loved watching them. Whether they were playing or eating or simply sleeping, they seemed to enjoy being in the physical world. Would it be a good experience for her too? Raphael was a wonderful advisor, but now she needed a different take on things. “Michael, can I talk to you?”

  When she turned around, he was standing next to the mouse cage, picking up Whiskers. “They’ve grown a lot in a very short time.” He glanced over at the control mice. “But they don’t seem any larger than the three over there.”

  Annabel smiled. “I hold all of them, but don’t tell William.”

  “I think he’ll know. He’s quickly developing some intuitive gifts.”

  “Like Arel? They both share a little something from you.”

  Michael’s eyes were playful as he rubbed behind the tiny mouse’s ear. Its black eyes closed contentedly for only a moment before it came out of trance, grabbed its tail and checked it with great concentration. “Humans have a capacity for many things they consider extraordinary, but for the most part, their gifts are dormant.”

  “I know. After only a short time of being without my normal abilities, I have a lot more empathy for the plight of humans.”

  “By the way, these little fellows are getting quite rotund.”

  Annabel walked over and watched her mouse, Squeaky. He was sniffing at his food dish. After passing on a food pellet, he found a stray sunflower seed. Sitting back on his haunches, his whole body quivered as he enjoyed his delicacy.

  “I might be giving them a few too many treats. They enjoy every morsel so much.”

  Michael gave her a knowing glance as he returned Whiskers to the cage and locked the door. “The physical has many temptations. Even a mouse can overindulge. Unfortunately for people, they can over indulge in their emotions.”

  Annabel watched Whiskers run over to Squeaky. He took note of the seed his cage mate was eating and began burrowing in the food dish for one of his own. “Am I being foolhardy wanting to be human?”

  “It’ll be quite a transition.”

  “I understand, but with William gone, I’ve had the time to give the matter a lot of thought.”

  “Have you considered what you’d be taking on?”

  Annabel surprised herself when the answer came so easily. “I love William, and I want to be with him.”

  “Well then, I’m very happy for you. And I’ll do everything I can to help.”

  “Will I need help?” It was a strange concept after knowing the steady bliss and innocence of being what she was. Her world was always safe and unchanging. “Sorry, what a silly thing to ask. After observing Arel and William, I should know better.”

  “About William—”

  “It sounds like he’s much better
.”

  “Yes, he is.”

  “Hopefully, he’ll be fully recovered soon.”

  “Yes, but—”

  Annabel saw the concern on Michael’s face and put her arms around herself. She’d discovered the gesture helped to sooth her body if she had thoughts about William’s ill health and the possibility of him dying. “You think I’m making a mistake, don’t you?”

  Michael stepped back and smiled. “I don’t think in terms of mistakes, do I?”

  “No, of course not.” She felt her face flush with what she knew must be embarrassment. She laughed nervously. “I can’t believe the things that are coming out of my mouth. This process is very strange.”

  “Taking off your wings, so to speak, for a short period of time is good practice. But it’s not the same as being a real human. I think you’ll find things get much stranger when you dive into the full experience.”

  “My mind is racing with questions. It must be what a child feels when they go off to school for the first time.”

  “You know that you can’t count on William to be there, not at this point. Once he finds out what you really are, he—”

  “Do I have to tell him?”

  “I thought—”

  “He’s not very fond of angels. Why should I upset him if it’s not necessary?”

  “Annabel, my dear friend, I think he’s going to know something is very different about you if you make this change.”

  Annabel put her hand on her chest. Her heart, once so steady and at ease, was getting more erratic, especially if she felt something wasn’t quite right in her environment. “Will I forget everything?”

  “It’s a gradual process. As you become part of the human world, your attention will be drawn to your experiences. Those experiences will activate emotional responses, including fear. People grow up being very familiar with that emotion. In your case, it could be very difficult to adjust to, especially if you begin to depend on William being there for you.”

  “Why wouldn’t he be there?”

  “Even if he accepts and loves you completely, a human’s physical vessel is a fragile thing. Both Arel and William seem to be testing its limits regularly.”

  “I could help him, just like I do now, as his angel.”

  “Are you sure?”

  Annabel frowned, wondering why the thought of William’s mortal existence sent a chill down her spine. When she considered the possibility that he could perish at any time, her knees felt shaky. She made her way to the table, grabbed a chair and sat down. “Oh Michael, after this conversation, I’m not sure about anything.”

  It was true. It wasn’t just her knees that were shaky, her entire world felt unsteady. It took all of her concentration to slow the pounding in her chest. She’d been looking forward to William being home again. Now, she wasn’t so sure.

  * * * * *

  William stood stiffly in the airport terminal, patting down his brow as he stared back at the crowd gathered around him. It had taken two cars to get everyone there. Arel, Michael, and Carey accompanied him in the Mustang. Kevin drove the second vehicle, a big SUV that was large enough to accommodate two baby seats, plus Carol, Peggy and Tim. “I’m flattered that you all came, but it wasn’t necessary,” William said with a slight tremor in his voice.

  Peggy returned a teary smile. “We had to come. You’re family now. Remember that, okay?”

  Tim was holding baby Sara, but he put an arm around Peggy and pulled her close. “Take care of yourself, William. Stay healthy.”

  William was giving Tim a quick nod of appreciation when Carol came forward and hugged him.

  “You’re a very special part of the family, and we love you,” she said. “Please come back.”

  Without thinking, William found himself returning her embrace. “Thank you for everything.”

  Kevin planted a large steel-grip hand on William’s shoulder and shook him. “Glad we finally got to meet.” He leaned in with a wide smile. His tone dropped to a whisper. “Next time you need a little help, bypass Arel and call Tim or me. We’re easier.”

  William nodded again, trying to manage his panic. What had he gotten himself into by coming to Chicago? “You’ve all been very gracious, I—”

  “Uh! Uh!” Baby Ariel threw his bottle on the floor and stared at William with a troubled frown. Carey was holding the baby, but he had to redouble his efforts when little Ariel threw himself forward in William’s direction. The baby let out a loud squeal. “Da!!!!!”

  What could William do? The child’s demand was impossible to ignore. He went over and put a hand on Ariel’s blond curls. “Be a good boy.”

  “Dada!”

  The second time the little boy addressed William in a fatherly way, his chest tightened. He’d never considered having a child, but even that seemed a remote possibility when he thought about Annabel. He backed up quickly. “My plane is leaving soon. I better get going.”

  “Have a good flight,” Michael said with a friendly smile.

  Carey handed the baby to Kevin and stepped forward to grip William’s arm. He grinned in his easy going way. “I might show up in London one of these days. You can show me the sights.”

  “Of course.”

  Arel extended his hand. “Goodbye, William.”

  Arel’s tone and his eyes said much more than his words. Something had changed between them. Arel was pulling back all the energy that had brought them together. Their bond was finally dissolving. William didn’t expect it, but his chest tightened even more as he gave Arel’s hand a quick shake. “Goodbye.”

  An hour and a half later, as he sat on the plane, he tried to understand why he was sweating. The plane was a little warm, but there was something else, the scene at the terminal.

  Peggy’s words about being family echoed in his mind. It seemed like such a foreign concept. It was reinforced by Carol. He could still feel her heartbeat against his chest as she voiced one of the most misused words in the English language. She’d spoken about love. Then there was the baby. Little Ariel addressed him in the same way that he addressed his real father.

  Quite a clingy group you have there, Arel.

  He grabbed his handkerchief and swiped at his brow again. The group hadn’t been thinking about Arel when they saw him off. They made it clear that they cared about William. And if it hadn’t been for Carol’s dedication, he probably wouldn’t be going back home. Instead, Arel would be scattering his ashes around the windy city.

  As for Arel himself, at least that chapter in William’s life was finally over. His wish had been granted. He was free to be on his own again.

  So why don’t I leave it at that? Why should I start something with Annabel when I can go back to my own way of life?

  Every woman he’d ever met or been interested in, ended up wanting something. That one fact kept him a confirmed bachelor.

  Of course, Annabel has never been like that. She’s different. I don’t have to worry about another case of neediness.

  He put the handkerchief back in his pocket and began to relax. As the plane climbed high into the heavens, his life was starting over. With Raphael’s help, his health was rapidly returning, and he had a beautiful, gloriously, independent woman waiting for him.

  Fifty-Three

  WHEN WILLIAM WALKED through the front door, looking his young, handsome self, Annabel was ready for him. Her halo was dusted and her wings were securely fastened once again. Her decision to remain an angel was well thought out and pure. Maybe her heart was the part of her that helped turn the tide when she considered becoming human. It always beat too fast when she thought about giving up her wings. It sent out a warning, letting her know that the transition she’d been contemplating was a dangerous one. Of course, she didn’t know exactly what danger it portended, but she did know her body didn’t feel right when she contemplated giving up the serenity that she normally felt. When she went to greet William at the door and he stared back at her with a sparkle in his eye, she gave him a friendly
, welcoming smile, nothing more. She was there to assist him as his angel, period. After hanging up his coat in the hall closet, she left him standing in the foyer. She had laundry to attend to.

  William noticed her attitude immediately. As she stuffed clothes in the machine, he came into the laundry room with a puzzled look on his face. He asked her if everything was alright. She let out a relieved sigh and closed the lid on the washer. “Everything is perfect,” she answered. And she meant it. It was a tremendous relief to be her angelic self again.

  How could I ever have considered becoming mortal? What an impossible idea that was!

  When she’d taken off her wings, she didn’t have interactions with other people or circumstances. Yet she’d nearly panicked just contemplating what life could throw at her. Later, Michael informed her that her little trial run was nothing like being an actual human. She hadn’t had to meet the true challenges that people experienced every day. That’s when Annabel realized how lucky she was to have her wings.

  I don’t understand how people manage the emotional load they carry.

  She did have a new respect for what people were able to shoulder. But she didn’t want that challenge. She’d end up disappointing herself and William. It wouldn’t be fair to either of them.

  I’ll stick around here just long enough to ease my way out of William’s life. Then he and I can both return to normal.

  Fifty-Four

  AREL GRABBED HIS travel bag from the closet, tossed it on the bed, and glanced up. Michael was reading by the window. He’d moved his chair into the narrow section of sunlight that was allowed in. Sporting a bulky white sweater, his broad shoulders looked wider than ever. His blond hair, glistening gold in the sun, was loose for a change. It was usually pulled back in a low, pony tail. Now it graced his broad shoulders, making Arel aware of how angelic Michael could look. “For a guy with heavenly ties, you really enjoy reading those seed and flower magazines, don’t you?”

  Michael looked up from a rose catalog and smiled. “There are so many choices.”