Speak No Evil

by Liana Gardner

  Sitting in the pew next to Aunt Ruth, I couldn’t stop my knee from bouncing. Why had Uncle Harlan insisted on my handling? Jeb didn’t handle yet, and he was a lot older than me. And Samuel didn’t handle, either. So it wasn’t fair for him to force me to do it. Maybe Uncle Harlan wanted me to prove something to him—not God.

  During the music ministry when others ran to the front to pick up snakes, Uncle Harlan glared at me. The knots in my stomach tightened. Rising to my feet, my knees shook, but I pushed on out of the pew. Taking a step toward the front, sweat broke out on my forehead and I got dizzy.

  Step. I shook uncontrollably. I had to do this to bring Mama back.

  Step. Folks in the pews nudged one another and pointed in my direction. Eyes forward, I focused on those dancing with the snakes. Brother Farrell’s snake stared right at me. My breath caught in my throat and the edges of my vision turned dark.

  I couldn’t do it.

  My heels clicked against the floor as I ran down the aisle and out the door. My feet flew along the path to the parking area. I yanked open the car door and sat in the back. I buried my face in my hands. Would God hate me for running out? I hadn’t had a chance to ask Him my questions yet.

  Shivering, I rubbed my arms. The cold morning cut through my dress and I didn’t have a coat. I stared at the trees. The wind ruffled the new leaves trying to grow. Daddy used to tell me God was everywhere we looked. He was in the trees and the brooks; He filled the sky and was the rock on which we stand. Maybe God would hear me here. I tried to remember the verse Mama had taught me about the lilies of the field.

  She’d said it meant we’re not supposed to worry about things we don’t have. God will take care of us if we have faith in Him. I did remember one verse because Mama sang it to me.

  But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

  I only needed two things—Daddy to come home and Mama to come back to life.

  Uncle Harlan didn’t say a word to me as he drove us back to his house. When the car stopped, I ran in and grabbed Raksha.

  Uncle Harlan slammed my bedroom door open. “You’re going to learn to show the Lord respect, girl.” He grabbed my neck and forced me to walk in front of him.

  My neck hurt where he dug his fingers in.

  He took me outside and shoved me toward the shed. He slipped the key in the lock and removed it from the hasp. The door creaked as it opened and then he thrust me through.

  “I’m not going to allow you to follow your mother’s footsteps. You’ll learn to make peace with snakes and not show them any fear. Or else.”

  He grabbed a snake case from the shelf, put it on the ground, and opened it. He stepped backward out of the shed and swung the door shut. The latch clicked. Uncle Harlan on one side of the door, and the snake and me locked inside.

  “I’ll come get you in time for school in the morning.”

  His footsteps receded.

  Light filtered through the cracks in the shed slats. In the dim light, the snake coiled in the corner, its tongue flicking out periodically. I slowly lowered to the ground and hugged Raksha Waya tight.

  The inside of the shed was slightly warmer than outside. Staying warm might be a bigger problem than keeping the snake calm. It ignored me and remained coiled, but the cold seeped into my bones. I scanned the shelves. There had to be something in here I could use to help keep warm.

  A tarp sat on a shelf on the opposite side of the shed from the snake. But I might not be tall enough to pull it down. Standing on tiptoes, I grabbed a corner and tugged. My fingers slipped. I set Rakkie on a lower shelf, then reached with both hands and tugged.

  The weight of the tarp almost knocked me over as I caught it.

  Making sure to keep my movements small so I didn’t threaten the snake, I unfolded the tarp and spread it out. Then I grabbed Rakkie and carefully crawled under a corner. Once settled with Rakkie on my lap, I pulled it over us and tucked it under my chin.

  The hours passed as the light changed and moved through the shed. My tailbone ached and my back hurt from sitting still for so long. Twilight came. Surely Uncle Harlan didn’t really mean to leave me here with the snake all night.

  When the darkness was complete and I could no longer see my hand in front of my face, I faced the hard truth—Uncle Harlan meant it. I’d spend the night locked in a small space with a pit viper.

  While my toes still felt frozen, the rest of me was warmer with the tarp. My eyes drooped and closed. Then I heard it.

  Hiss. Rattle. The whisper of something dragging across the floorboards.

  The snake was on the move. The slight rattle as it slithered through the shed made my heart pound. I froze. I had no idea where it was and whether it was close to me. Would it sense my fear?

  Trying not to freak out, I took a deep breath and sang my rattlesnake song.

  Rattlesnake, rattlesnake, I fear you none

  Crawling beneath, the moon and sun

  Show me no harm, under the sky

  I will show no fear, though afraid to die

  The big body slithered over part of the tarp. I wanted to whimper, but I didn’t want it to attack. Its head poked underneath the tarp and it slid through the gap. If the snake bit me, I would probably die. Even if someone knew I’d been bitten, they’d pray, but they wouldn’t take me to the doctor. Whether I lived or died would be according to God’s will.

  On your belly, slither on by

  Rattlesnake don’t bite, don’t make me cry

  The hills are full, in the green green grass

  Please leave me be, let me pass

  The snake curled against my leg. I finally understood. It was cold and needed a source of warmth. I relaxed against the shed wall. I wouldn’t be able to sleep, but Mama must be watching and taking care of me from heaven. She wouldn’t let the snake hurt me.

  Gray fingers of light crept across the shed floor. The night had passed, and the snake remained snuggled against my leg. How long before Uncle Harlan came to release me? My bones had turned into rock and I wasn’t sure I’d be able to move.

  I wanted to stretch and loosen up but didn’t want to disturb the rattler. My tummy twisted at the thought of what might happen when Uncle Harlan came to get me. I couldn’t move because of the snake and Uncle Harlan would get cranky. What if he ripped the tarp off and the snake attacked?

  When I thought he might have forgotten me, the key scraped against the lock. The door swung outward and Uncle Harlan stepped through the doorway.

  “Don’t just sit there. You have to get washed up, changed, and ready for school.”

  The rattlesnake stirred against my leg. My throat went dry making it hard to speak.

  “Shhh—”

  He cut me off. “Don’t hush me, girl.” He turned his head from one side to the other, checking the inside of the shed. “Where is the snake?”

  Its rattle vibrated against my leg.

  “Under the tarp.” I said the words as quietly as I could.

  “Don’t be ridiculous.” He strode forward and yanked the tarp off.

  Rakkie tumbled off my lap to the ground. The snake hissed, coiled, and raised its head, ready to strike. It threatened Uncle Harlan, but I didn’t want to move for fear of attracting its attention.

  Sweat broke out on Uncle Harlan’s brow. How could he be sweating in the early morning chill? The snake continued to shake its rattle, its mouth open. I had to calm it. Even though I didn’t like Uncle Harlan much, I didn’t want him to get bitten by the snake.

  The ground is yours, you own the dirt

  Your poison, your venom, I know would hurt

  So with you in mind, at night I pray

  Rattlesnake grant me, another day

  I sang as softly as I could. The rattle stilled, so I hummed the chorus.

  Uncle Harlan took a step backward and the snake rattled loudly, then sprang forward. It landed with a thump inches from Uncle Harlan’s foot, but instead of bit
ing him, slithered through the open door as quickly as it could.

  Uncle Harlan’s jaw had dropped, and the snake was out the door before he closed his mouth again. His face reddened and he pointed at the door. “Go get ready for school. We’ll talk about you hiding the snake later.”

  Hiding the snake? I wanted to cry. Why did Uncle Harlan hate me so much?

  Ms. Tucker called the class to attention after morning recess and pointed to our next assignment written on the board. Read the next chapter in our history book. I pulled out the book, opened it to the right page, and stifled a yawn. I’d never been this tired in my life.

  While reading the first paragraph, I closed my eyes for a moment. Someone drummed a pencil on their desk and my eyes flew open again. I reread the first paragraph and forced myself to read the next one. My head bobbed.

  Shaking my head, I put my finger on the page to help my eyes focus and I propped my cheek on my hand so my head couldn’t bob. My eyes closed. I needed a moment of rest.

  “Melody.”

  Ms. Tucker called me softly and laid her hand on my shoulder. “Are you okay?”

  Oh, no. I had fallen asleep. How much trouble would I be in for falling asleep during class?

  I rubbed my face and nodded. Ignoring the snickering from my classmates, I followed Ms. Tucker into the hall.

  Ms. Tucker crouched so we were face-to-face. “Are you sure you’re okay? You don’t feel sick?”

  I shook my head. “I’m just tired. I didn’t sleep last night.”

  Ms. Tucker’s eyes saddened. “I’m sorry you’re having trouble sleeping, Melody. Sometimes after someone we love passes on, we can’t quiet our mind.”

  She looked so sympathetic I couldn’t stop the words from tumbling out. “But that’s not why I’m tired. I didn’t sleep last night because Uncle Harlan locked me in a shed with a big rattlesnake.”

  Shock lines wrinkled Ms. Tucker’s forehead. “He ... he locked you in the shed? With a rattlesnake?” Her voice rose to a squeak. “All night?”

  “Please don’t keep me after school for falling asleep. I’ll try really hard to stay awake for the rest of the day. And I don’t want to get in any more trouble with Uncle Harlan.”

  She blinked a few times. “Melody, you aren’t in any trouble for falling asleep. I was concerned about your welfare.” She stood. “I’m going to send you to the office so you can lie down and get some sleep. But first, give me a few moments to write a note to take with you.”

  “But I thought you said I wasn’t in trouble.”

  “You’re not. You need sleep, but you can’t in class. The office has a cot you can lie on and be more comfortable.”

  I followed her back into the classroom and waited for her to write the note. She called the office to let them know I was coming and needed to sleep.

  As soon as I walked into the office, I handed over the note and they led me into a room with a cot and covered me with a blanket. I don’t think my eyes stayed open for more than two minutes.

  When I woke, social services had arrived. They took me to my house to pick up my clothes and told me they were working on a placement for me. They asked me to tell them what I had told Ms. Tucker. I did. And my life changed forever.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Spring 2015, Melody, age 16

  Dr. Kane jumped to his feet and paced, talking to himself. “Coincidence?” He ran a hand through his brown curls. “No. It can’t be.” He reached the bay window and stood next to the lamp, hands on hips, staring out.

  The afternoon light had been devoured by the gloom from the storm clouds. The day had changed from bright sunlight to darkest night. The grooves of his furrowed brow were clear in the window’s reflection as he stood lost in thought.

  The couch squeaked as Melody shifted her position and the muscles in her throat tightened.

  Dr. Kane turned toward the squeak. “I’m sorry, Melody, but the most incredible thought occurred to me, and I needed a moment to wrap my head around it.” He completed a couple more pacing circuits before settling in his chair.

  He seesawed his pen between thumb and forefinger drumming it against the notepad. “What do you think those clouds are going to do? Will we only get rain or a thunderstorm?”

  Melody queued up Toto’s “Africa” performed by the a cappella group, Perpetuum Jazzile, on the music player and glanced at Dr. Kane, who frowned as he flipped through his notes. She turned the speaker volume to the highest level and pressed play.

  The sound of forty to fifty people rubbing their hands together came out of the speakers, followed by fingers snapping to mimic raindrops.

  Dr. Kane’s head popped up and he stared at the music player as the raindrops turned into a cloudburst. His eyes widened when the rain gave way to the rumble of thunder.

  Melody stopped the music after the third thunderclap. She tried to keep her fingers from trembling as she folded her hands.

  He pointed the pen at the player. “That wasn’t a coincidence.” He shifted his gaze to her, his jaw slack. “You directly answered my question.” A grin lit his face. “We just had a conversation! With music. I thought it was fantastic when you used the music to convey your emotions, but this? This is amazing.”

  Melody buried her face in her hands and swallowed the bile trying to force its way up her esophagus. She rocked back and forth as her anxiety threatened to spiral out of control.

  “No, no, no. This is a good thing. You don’t have anything to fear, Melody.”

  She peeked through her fingers as he leaned back in his chair. Her hands slid onto her lap.

  “We had a significant breakthrough. Unexpected, but wonderful.” He stroked his stubble. “I am so proud of you for sharing your response. You were brave.”

  Lightning flashed outside and the thunderclap shook the windows. Dr. Kane jumped in his seat as rain poured down. “And you were right ... thunderstorm it is.”

  He stood and paced the room again. “I have an idea I’d like to try during the last part of our session today.” He checked his watch. “I’m going to ask some questions, and you’ll use your music selections to answer.”

  A shiver ran down Melody’s spine.

  “Let’s start with something relatively calm. Before your mother died, but on the same day, share a happy moment with me.”

  Melody searched her player for the right selection. She hit the forward button, then stopped. Flute music floated from the speakers before she hit forward again. Next stop a clarinet note escaped before she continued searching for the section she wanted. French horns sounded next. Then, finally, she had it queued to the right spot. She flicked her eyes toward Dr. Kane and he nodded.

  She pressed play and the lively music of a string section filled the room.

  Dr. Kane nodded in time to the music. “Prokofiev’s Peter and the Wolf. Nice selection. Give me a moment.” He grabbed the file folder and scanned a couple of pages. “Got it. You went hunting with your father on the morning of your mother’s death.”

  Melody gave a brief nod.

  “Fantastic.” He clapped his hands together. “Now I’m going to ask something more difficult from you.” He sat in his chair and leaned forward, peering earnestly through his glasses. “I want you to share with me how you felt when your mother died. Will you do that for me?”

  Taking a deep breath, she queued another song.

  You may be gone

  And free to fly

  But with you gone

  I will always cry

  For all I love

  Has disappeared

  Whispers from lips

  Are all I hear.

  She hit fast forward to the chorus.

  I am too young

  To feel this way

  Forever eclipsed

  By a darkened day

  The sun doesn’t shine

  On me anymore

  Afraid of not knowing

  What I have to live for.

  Dr. Kane whipped a couple of tissues out
of the box and handed them to her. “You’re doing great. How did she die?”

  Melody returned to the a cappella song she had played earlier.

  The ground is yours, you own the dirt

  Your poison, your venom, I know would hurt

  So with you in mind, at night I pray

  Rattlesnake grant me, another day

  Thunder rattled the windows.

  Chapter Fifteen

  February 23, 2008 – Melody, age 9

  Daddy pulled the truck to a stop. I hopped out while he pulled the snake canister out from behind the seat.

  “Go tell your mother we’re home. She’ll be worried about you and will want to see with her own eyes you’re okay.”

  Mama worried too much. I’d been with Daddy. Nothing bad was going to happen.

  I ran into the house. “Mama?” She wasn’t in the kitchen or on the service porch. “Mama, we’re home.” Nothing but silence.

  Maybe she went down by the brook. She liked to walk along the water and, as she told me, commune with nature. Daddy said nature spoke to her in a special way and I’d know what he meant in a few years because I took after my mama.

  Daddy was the only one who told me I took after Mama. Everyone said how much I looked like Daddy and thought my love of the outdoors came from him. But Daddy said I related with nature more like Mama.

  I ran down the hill, using the smooth sections to slide, and filled my lungs with the clean air, tinged lightly with smoke. Joy filled my heart. I reached the brook and the bubbling sound of the water rushing over the rocks and roots matched the way I felt inside.

  Which way would Mama go on her walk? I looked both ways along the water and didn’t see her. I’d follow the slope down a ways toward where the brook met up with the river. I had to remember not to go too far or Daddy would miss me. Tugging the beanie over my ears to fight the cutting breeze, I trotted along the water’s edge.

  After going around the bend, I saw Mama in the distance rounding a curve. I ran to catch up. I took in a deep breath to yell to her when I reached the curve Mama had disappeared around.