by Lane Hart
“Yeah, I think I know the feeling,” I agree. The years without Eden have been awful.
Chapter Sixteen
Eden
“I’m fine, Dad. Really. You can go home now,” I tell my father, who has been here for going on six hours.
“Shut up and eat your Lucky Charms. Allie’s about to remember he’s her Noah,” he says as he hands the box back to me while we sit in my living room watching a marathon of old Nicholas Sparks’ movies.
Of course I can’t resist the sweet cereal or the sappy love stories, so I shove my hand into the box and grab a palm full of charms, cramming them into my mouth before I rest my head on my dad’s shoulder. I remember sitting just like this with him when I was a little girl, and we would watch cartoons on Saturday and Sunday mornings together.
So, even though I would rather be alone to wallow in misery, I’m glad he’s here.
If nothing else, one good thing about having him here is that I’ve at least stopped crying. I had to when Dad showed up at my door; because if he had seen a single tear, he would’ve probably found and killed Sage by now. Miriah sent me a message this morning telling me that Mace said my dad was at Havoc looking for Sage, who was thankfully still at his doctor appointment.
I haven’t heard from Tal to find out how that went even though I’ve texted and called him ten times.
And speak of the devil, Allie and Noah’s dance has to be paused with the remote control when there’s a knock on my apartment door.
“I’ll get it,” my Dad jumps up and says before I can protest. I don’t think I could have stopped him from barreling over to the door even if I had wanted to.
“Calm down. It’s probably just Tal,” I assure him as I quickly follow him to the door that he unlocks and whips open. I’m only a tad disappointed that it is Tal and not his brother. I don’t deserve his unwavering friendship.
“Senn!” Tal exclaims in surprise.
“That’s Mr. Duncan to you.”
“Dad, calm down!” I say as I grab his arm to pull him away from the door. “Just because Tal looks like Sage doesn’t mean you can take your anger out on him.”
“That’s too bad,” my father says while cracking his knuckles.
“Tal, come in,” I say. “Dad, go home and watch sappy movies with Mom.”
“Fine,” he replies with a sigh. Kissing the top of my head, he says, “I’m still going to have words with Sage the next time I see him. Tell your brother he’s lucky he’s injured so I won’t throw hands at him.”
“Will do, Mr. Duncan,” Tal replies before he flattens his back to the hall wall to let my dad through before he finally comes into the apartment.
“Hey, sorry about that,” I tell him when I shut and lock the door. “How did Sage’s appointment go today?”
“His head is fine.”
“That’s great to hear.”
“And no tears from you. That’s a good sign,” he jokes as he takes my dad’s seat on the sofa.
“Yep, all dried up,” I agree when I sit beside him. Tal lifts his arm so I can curl up to his side, and then he drapes his arm over my shoulders. He still smells like smoke, but I don’t think it’s the kind that gets him high. And at least he didn’t drink before driving over here. Thank goodness for small miracles.
“But you’re still sad and depressed.”
“That I am,” I reply.
“Want to fuck me to take your mind off him?” he asks.
“No thanks.”
“It worked before,” Tal remarks.
“Not really. Orgasms make us both feel good for a few minutes, but it doesn’t take away the sadness of me missing your brother or you not being with who you want to be with.”
“Guess you’re right. And the doctor said something today you may not want to hear.”
“Tell me, Tal,” I say when I sit up on my knees to face him.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes!”
“Okay, fine. The doc said that the post-traumatic amnesia can make people act differently and do things they normally wouldn’t do. It can cause them to be uninhibited…”
“Why do you think that I wouldn’t want to…oh,” I mutter as it dawns on me. “Sage slept with me and told me he loved me as a side effect of the brain injury?”
“Possibly. That’s not a definite, but it would explain why he did a complete one-eighty. I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s fine,” I say with a wave of my hand as my eyes water. “You warned me that he had lost his memories but not really changed his mind.”
“No, don’t cry!” Tal says when he wraps his arms around me and pulls me over to his chest.
“Why? Because…you’ll leave?” I ask between sobs.
“What? No. Why would you think that?”
“Because you said…you said you wouldn’t…pick up the pieces again.”
“You know I’m full of shit,” Tal admits with a sigh.
Chapter Seventeen
Sage
I’ve been driving around for hours in the darkness after leaving the gym, not just because Senn’s truck was parked outside my house, but because I need time to clear my head. I’m trying to weave the things I did and said the past few days with the memories of the past few years that have all come back.
When I think about my career in the cage, I’m proud of all I’ve accomplished, all the wins, being the best in the world. But at the same time, I’ve been so lonely these past few years; and if what Tal said is true, and I don’t think he would lie to me about it, he’s not in love with Eden. He loves her, yes. There’s no doubt in my mind about that. I just don’t think he wants to spend the rest of his life with her like I do.
“I want to spend the rest of my life with Eden.” I say the words aloud because for the first time in as long as I can remember, they feel right.
I need to see her, to apologize and beg her to give me another chance.
It’s time to stop fighting it.
Which means, it’s time to face her father.
Senn’s old yellow truck is still parked in front of the house when I finally pull to a stop. His thick arms are crossed over his chest, eyes narrowed at me. That’s all I can tell from the glow of the streetlamp. He’s probably going to hit me. Even knowing that, I climb out of my car and start for him.
“Finally!” he exclaims, pushing off of the truck to start toward me.
“Could you try and avoid the head since I finally figured out what I want and don’t want to forget?” I ask him.
“Oh yeah? And what is it you want? To lead my daughter on for a few more years, make her throw away any chance of happiness with someone else while she waits for you?”
“I want Eden to be happy as much as you do,” I tell him.
He scoffs. “You’ve got a funny way of showing it.”
“I know. Which is why I’m going to go see Eden tonight and apologize.”
“That all you gonna do?”
I swallowed harshly at that statement. “I’m going to tell her that I love her, that I never stopped loving her, and that I want her to give me another chance…”
“You don’t deserve another chance!” Senn shouts at me.
“I know I don’t. Maybe she’ll give me one or maybe she won’t. I have to at least try.”
“And if she agrees to take your sorry ass back, then what?” he asks. “You going to break her heart again in a few days? Weeks?”
“I’m hoping I never break her heart again,” I tell him. “Which is why I want to ask you what I should’ve asked eight years ago.”
“Oh yeah? What’s that? If I won’t beat you to death?” he asks, coming so close our noses would be touching if not for our shoes.
“I want to ask if I can have your permission to marry Eden.”
That has him stumbling back a step like I sucker punched him in the face. “You what?”
“I want to marry her. I’ve always wanted to marry her. I just wasn’t sure I could make her happy before.
Now, I know I can. It’s more important to me than anything – even a title belt. Especially a title belt. I thought her and Tal…I thought he loved her as much as I did, but I was wrong.”
“Yeah, you were,” Senn grunts, arms crossing over his chest again, which is a good sign. If he was going to hit me, they would be loose by his side or up and in front of his face.
“So?” I ask him. “Do I have your blessing?” I know better than to tell him that I’m still going to ask, no, beg Eden to marry me regardless of how he feels about it.
Now, he does uncross his arms, and then he’s on me, grabbing the front of my shirt, close enough that I can see every speck in his dark eyes that are so similar to Eden’s. “If you hurt her again, I will kill you.”
“I know. And I won’t,” I promise him.
Chapter Eighteen
Eden
Something startles me awake. I sit up in a hurry, unsure where I am since I was dreaming of sleeping in Sage’s bed. Tal humphs when I accidently jab my elbow in his stomach. “Sorry,” I whisper, which is stupid since he’s obviously awake now. I glance around the living room lit up only by the television and realize I must have fallen asleep with my head on his lap while we were watching sappy movies. The flat screen is still and quiet with only the message, “Are you still watching?” which means Tal was either sleeping too or just couldn’t reach the remote and didn’t want to wake me.
Then I hear the sound again, the one that I’m certain woke me up – someone knocking at the door.
“Shit,” I mutter as I get to my feet, feeling like a zombie. Since it’s a soft knock and not banging, I’m assuming that means it’s not my father. But then who… I go up on my tiptoes to look out the peephole and then gasp.
“Who is it?” Tal asks, his voice still deep and gruff from sleep.
“Your brother.”
“Shit,” he says as he jumps up and straightens his shirt. “He’ll think we were doing more than we were.”
“Why would he care?” I ask.
“Just open the door!” Tal says, so I turn the lock and do as he said.
By the time I pull the door open, I’m wide awake, which is when I realize that Sage looks really good in his green hoodie and jeans. He also smells so clean and delicious while I’ve been sulking on the sofa all day without a shower, looking like a hot mess. Well, too late now…
“What are you doing here?” I ask him, tying my robe tighter around my waist as if it can magically make me look less sloppy.
Sage opens his mouth to say something as one of his hands slides into his front jean pocket, then his eyes get distracted by something behind me. Or someone rather. “What is he doing here?”
And for the first time that I can ever remember, Sage sounds jealous.
“Nothing happened,” Tal says. “We fell asleep in the living room watching chick flicks.”
Sage looks at his twin and then me before he asks, “Do you want me or him, Eden? If you want him, then fine, I’ll hate it, but he’s my brother and I love you both, so I’ll suck it up and try to deal with it. What I really want, though, is for you to choose me, to forgive me for hurting you years ago, even though I don’t deserve another chance.”
Tal slips out the door from beside me as I try to figure out what to say without hurting Tal’s feelings. In the hallway, he circles Sage once then stops behind him. “What do you think, Eden?” Tal asks. “I can’t help but find his attempt lacking after a night of sappy movies with grand gestures. At best, all I can give him is a B- for his mea culpa speech.”
“I…” I start to respond and Tal interrupts.
“I’m leaving. We all know how this ends, and it’s not with you picking me. I’d be lying if I said I wanted you and you know it. We were never really together, were we?” he says to me. Then, turning to Sage, he tells him, “She’s always been yours; I was just the stand-in until you figured your shit out.”
He starts to walk away down the hall without another word.
“I’m sorry, Tal,” I call out since it’s not even a choice and I hate that. He doesn’t even try to look back at us over his shoulder. He’s just gone.
I feel awful that he’s being pushed to the side. Although, I know that what we had, what we still have, is an unbreakable friendship and nothing else. He knows it too, so we’ll be okay.
“He’ll be fine,” Sage says, echoing my same thoughts. “If what he said was true?”
“It was. It is,” I agree as I swipe my fingers underneath my eyes to dry the tears. “But I need to know you’re serious, Sage. That this isn’t just the amnesia talking or a spur-of-the-moment decision.” I pause when he reaches into his jean pocket and pulls out a small jewelry box. No, it can’t possibly be…
“I bought this ring before our beach trip eight years ago,” Sage says as he opens the box, revealing the beautiful, sparkling diamond solitaire. “I was going to ask you to marry me, but we were so young, and I knew you were leaving for school with Tal. I didn’t want to hold you back or be the boyfriend who was never around. I knew Tal loved you, and I thought you two would be good for each other. He was giving up fighting to go with you, making a sacrifice that I didn’t think I could make. At least that’s what I thought at the time. So, I never told you or anyone.”
“I-I don’t know what to say,” I admit because there are no words. I can’t believe it.
“I’m asking you to marry me, but I know we’ve got a long way to go before I can convince you to trust me again, to love me again after hurting you.”
“I never stopped loving you,” I admit.
“I never stopped loving you either,” he says with a grin as he offers me the ring box.
I take it with a shaking hand; and while I’m stunned, Sage grabs my face with both hands, and then his mouth is on me, hot and possessive. And I wouldn’t want it any other way.
Epilogue
Sage
“We’ll come visit you every weekend!” Eden tells Tal as she wraps him in a crushing hug. “I’m really proud of you for deciding to do this,” she adds as she steps back, unshed tears glistening in her eyes.
I pop the trunk and Tal lifts out his two bags before we start heading for the front of the building. The glass double doors don’t open when I tug at them, and Eden points to, and then rings, a buzzer at the side of the doors.
“Pinehurst Rehabilitation,” a voice crackling with static answers almost immediately. “Are you checking in today?”
“Yes,” Tal replies shortly.
With a buzz, the lock clicks, and I hold the door open for my brother and Eden to go on in.
“I’m really glad you’re doing this too,” I tell Tal as he walks by me.
“Hey, you’re finally getting your life in order,” Tal says with a grin. “Time for me to do the same. I need to quit being a miserable son-of-a-bitch, and this looks like it’s going to be the first step.” He looks pale and sickly today, though I’m sure it’s not from a hangover. In fact, he tried to quit drinking cold last week, but he got so sick, itching all over and shaking, that we decided together a rehab program might be his best bet.
“Six weeks to a brand new you,” I joke with him as he steps up to the counter and introduces himself to the receptionist.
“We’ve already got everything prepared for you, sir,” the receptionist tells Tal after looking him up in their system. “I’m afraid you won’t be able to have anyone come visit the first two weeks, so let me know when you’ve said your goodbyes, and we’ll show you to your room.”
I hug my brother one more time before stepping back and throwing an arm around Eden. “Get better soon, bro, and get home to us,” I say, my voice almost breaking.
“We haven’t been apart this long since I went to college,” Tal quips. “You sure you’re going to make it?”
“I’ll watch out for Sage,” Eden reassures him. “You get yourself straightened out and come home to us, okay? We’re going to miss you like crazy!”
“I’ll miss
you guys too,” Tal says. “But I have to do this. Sage may not be interested in getting back at that dude Cyrus for what happened, but I’ll never let that shit go. Just because things worked out well for you two doesn’t mean I’m going to forgive him for how he acted during the fight. I’m going to get healthy, get back in the gym, and settle accounts with that piece of shit, just you wait and see.”
“It will take a lot of work to earn a shot at a fighter like Cyrus,” I warn Tal, who has been out of the league for almost ten years.
“Good. That goal will keep my mind occupied while I’m recovering here,” Tal says with a nod to me. “You just keep focusing on getting yourself better and keeping her happy,” he adds with a nod to Eden. “I love you guys,” he finishes before picking his bags back up and turning to walk back to the receptionist.
“We love you, too,” Eden and I tell him at the same time.
As we go back out without him, I expect to feel a pang of homesickness, loss, or maybe even loneliness at my brother’s absence. Instead, though, I feel hopeful as we step back out into the sunlight. For the first time in years, I feel like I’m not just stuck in a rut, spinning my wheels and not getting anywhere. The entire world feels like it’s holding its breath with anticipation, ready to break into a cheer at any moment now that Eden and I are back together.
“It’s going to be weird not having him rumbling around the house for the next few weeks,” Eden sighs as we get back in my car. “I guess I’ll have to stay with you at night so you don’t get lonely,” she adds suggestively.
“I think that’s a good idea,” I grin at her. “Let’s go use the quiet time to catch up on any other things I might have forgotten over the years, or any of the things I’ve been missing out on.”