First to Fall

by Lane, Stacy

  Jo pulls her wrist out of the hold Noah locked around it, stepping into my front and stopping me from moving any further. “Brooks. Don’t.”

  “Jo, I just want a minute to talk. Without your bodyguard, preferably.” Noah’s arrogant mouth twists up at me. He speaks to her as if he has right to.

  “Boyfriend,” she corrects, glaring back him.

  Pride rushes through me at the steel in her voice as she claims that title.

  “I don’t care.” Noah’s stony face flashes behind her, barely giving me notice before he looks back to her.

  “You don’t need to speak with her, let alone without me.” I didn’t like this prick. Grabbing my girl right out from my hold and then having the audacity to tell me to go away so he can talk with her.

  I’ve kept an eye and an ear out on Noah Werner since the day he put Jo on his radar in my bar. He says he didn’t know of Jo while she dated his brother, but I’m not sure how much of that I believe to be true. Those twins were conniving assholes who preyed on women. Mason, who kept Jo a secret for his own reasons, and Noah who violated women and then covered it up.

  After Jo told me about their parents, it sounded like these guys were your typical white privileged douches.

  Jo has only spoken about her relationship with Mason twice, and I didn’t get much incite on her feelings and how deep they ran for the guy, but she had to have loved him. She was going to marry him despite her gut telling her no. And knowing that someone as beautiful and special as Jo would have settled for a guy like that, to even believe she couldn’t do better than him, sends a cold blast of ice through my veins.

  And I’d love nothing more than to chip away the shards by breaking my fist off into the man’s face.

  Mason’s no longer on this earth, and since Noah’s not much of a better human being than his brother, his person will work just the same.

  “My business doesn’t concern you, Labelle.” Noah spits out my name.

  “Jo’s not your business at all. Your brother fucked up enough for his games to continue on even with him in the grave.” I brace my body for the hit Noah begs to throw, and push Jo behind me.

  “Brooks, stop. Let’s just go.” Jo pulls at my arm from behind.

  The halls are crowded with players and coaches and staff from both teams. I won’t have much time to pummel Noah’s face in before I’ll be pulled off him but I’m itching just the same for that one hit.

  On the ice, taunting from our game in Boston wasn’t enough to soothe my twitchy palm.

  Hallway brawls after games aren’t that uncommon. Most of us leave the tension on the rink, battle out frustrations in a mutual respect sort of way because that’s hockey.

  But this is not hockey.

  Noah is a scumbag that the league should have banned, and he’s getting too close to my girl.

  An evil smile replaces the scowl on Noah’s face. “Aren’t you dying to know, Labelle? It’s been leaked my brother and I shared women. Maybe your girlfriend is a little kinkier than she lets on. Maybe Jo’s had us both and only plays the innocent card.”

  Jo gasps, her hand stilling from the pull she had on my arm. The expended air passing her lips were of shock and disgust.

  I spring forward, gripping Noah’s shirt and throwing him against the wall. The bodies surrounding us explode into chaos as people both scatter and shove their way toward us. I lose the presence of Jo standing behind me, all my focus on the fucker inches away from my fists.

  Shouts rise from behind me to release Noah. I clench harder.

  “Listen, you piece of shit,” I seethe, getting right up in his face. “Leave Jo alone. There’s nothing left to say that she needs to hear. From the moment she saw you at Triplets nothing but bullshit from your brother, you, and even your parents have followed and dragged her into. Never try to talk to her again. Don’t even speak her name.”

  “There’s plenty else she needs to hear. Everyone is so quick to assume I’m the evil twin.”

  “Far as I’m concerned, you were both corrupted at conception.”

  Noah’s eyes glaze over, demented.

  My boys push their way through from the right, Noah’s teammates are coming in from the left. Hands and arms are splitting us apart, but we never take our death stares off each other.

  Coach is the first to get my full attention.

  “Labelle!” He shouts. “Get to the bus! You’re not going to embarrass this team by starting a fucking fight over a girl!”

  I turn to him, tossing the hands around my arms and chest away.

  Marc was the closest to me, the first at my side to keep me from tearing Werner to shreds. “Careful, Brooksy. I get where you’re coming from with Werner, but Coach just sees your woman as another piece of ass you’re after. Don’t lose your cool with him or you’ll get benched.”

  My instinct is to reply that I don’t care. But that’s never been me. I’ve always cared about my career above anything else. Jo is a hell of a lot more than another piece of ass, but as Marc’s words sink in I realize what my behavior puts at stake by losing my temper.

  I care for Jo, there’s no denying that. And this new territory of jealousy and possession that one woman has over me is messing with my priorities. I’ve had it out for Werner blood ever since their secrets surfaced and started dragging Jo down with them.

  I want to protect her, but I cannot let it screw up my career, the one and only goal I’ve cherished above all else.

  She never asked me to fight her battles and she will never have to. My stomach turns with blame for allowing my career to get mixed up in someone else’s drama. But I don’t blame Jo, I blame myself.

  I just need to let all this blow over and get back to what’s the most important thing in my life. Hockey. Jo is in it now, but I can’t predict our future. But hockey will always be a part of me.

  Nodding at Marc, I let him know I’m under control once again.

  He pats my shoulder. “Alright. Let’s get on the bus, and then we’ll go out and get smashed.” Marc’s stupid-pretty grin flashes with mischief.

  I chuckled, shaking my head. Glancing around the teeming crowd of onlookers, I scan the halls for a long-haired blonde with glasses but come up empty.

  “Where’s Jo?”

  “Claude’s got her. They’re outside.”

  We walk off, I apologize to my coach as I pass him, but I do let him know—in a less manic way—that Jo is more than a passing fling he referenced her as. I respected his lead, he’s a great coach, but he had to be set straight.

  Even if Jo and I are not together at some point, she will always mean more to me than any other that comes after her.

  There is no one better for me than her.

  But where do I draw the line?

  I’m surrounded by guys who have incredible careers and adore their families above all else. They willingly have both. I’ve never been that guy, and I’ve never expected one person to make me change that outlook. I don’t even know if I accept the possibility that one day that change may happen to me. A family—wife and kids—was never in the plan.

  All I do know is that I don’t want to lose her right now.

  It’s the future, the timeframe of Jo and Brooks that has no guarantee.

  Outside in the bitter cold of Nevada’s air, I search the parking lot for Jo. Claude’s height catches my sight first, and looking down beside him I find her.

  She’s standing with the other girls. My captain and his wife see me approaching.

  “Brooks.” Ryan’s head lifts in a disapproving tilt.

  “I know, I know.” I hold up a hand to stall his reprimand. “Coach already got to me.”

  Jo spun at the sound of Ryan calling out my name. She faces me, arms pulling her jacket tighter around her to ward off the chilly wind. Eyes shining bright in the fluorescent glow of the parking lot, she takes my hand and steps away from the group.

  “Brooks, it’s not true. What Noah said is a lie.” Jo speaks the second we’re out o
f earshot from the others.

  “Whoa. Jo, I never believed that.” I shake my head, cupping her face. My heart tugs when I realize her eyes are sparkling with a sheen of tears.

  “I haven’t been with Noah. At least I hope I haven’t. I didn’t want to believe the part about them being with one girl at the same time, but maybe that was just my way of blindly ignoring the fact that I really can’t say whether or not they tricked me. Mason-Kason was not who I thought he was, so I really don’t know anything anymore.”

  “Wanna know why I call you Angel?” I brush my thumbs over her cheeks with a delicate swipe. The backlighting of another night is not the same as now, but her beautiful face, scrunched up with attitude over the situation and hair tumbling down her back reminds me all the same. Jo’s face softens, staring into the trap I have on her gaze. “The second time we met, at Chelsea and Vic’s house, we were in their driveway. The moon was full, the stars were brighter than I’ve ever seen, and you had this constant annoyed glare directed at me. You glowed. Your hair was a golden-white in the rays from the moon. The outdoor lighting at your back put this pearly, silver halo around your head and you were absolutely stunning. Beautiful with a whole lot of sass, and the exact image of an angel being sent to look out for me. It was in that moment I knew there was some higher power watching over me because they placed you right in front of me.”

  “Does that mean you need me?” she asks softly, taking me back to another time I told her people came into our lives for a reason.

  She was put into mine for a purpose.

  I told her once I didn’t know I was missing anything I needed. And now I know what it is.

  I needed to fall in love.

  The one aspiration I would have happily lived without. The one future I can never promise.

  Jo’s head turns into one of my hands, caressing my rough palm with her smooth cheek.

  I lean down and kiss her. I kiss her because I need to. I kiss her because I’m in love with her and it scares the shit out of me. I kiss her because I know I’m bound to screw this up and I’ll never feel this ardent, irreplaceable happiness ever again no matter who I meet.

  Angels are rare, and Jo is the only one for me.

  TWENTY-SIX

  Jo

  The night started out sweet and ended with sin.

  Romance was in the air, but really, Vegas is not for the innocent seeking hearts and flowers. A walk along the beach kind of person should understand and expect they’ll get a walk along the sex trail instead. Sex was everywhere. Entertaining, but skin crawling at times.

  My panicky, anti-crowd plight was obliterated and insignificant on the Vegas strip. Not sure I could freak out with the amount of lights and crazies running amuck. I found the Sin City both mesmerizing and terrifying.

  Brooks picked me up from the hotel in a shiny black and chrome town car. He stood outside the car in jeans and a white button-down stretching across his broad chest, top few buttons undone and allowing a glimpse at his smooth, tan skin beneath his neck.

  Wind whipped my hair in the breeze as I approached. His warmth pulled me in like a magnet to ward off the cold bite in the air. Every step I made beneath the layered, bright white ambiance of the hotel’s valet drive-up, my mind consisted of one reality.

  I’ve never been in love before.

  I thought I knew what love was, but whatever those feelings were for someone else has nothing on what I’m feeling now.

  Before was sweet and there was happiness and the thought of spending the rest of my days was sufficient to the love I heard about. But this new love, real love, is beyond days. It’s forever. It burns with a passion that marks your heart and rewrites your soul.

  Love is a destiny that scares a person with the possibility to lose it but has a greater comfort to cherish what’s so rare for some.

  Maybe it’s a new love because it’s a new me. Beyond question, I am not the same person I was back in October. I cherish the ability to love him so much because it’s made me love myself more.

  I was afraid of living before I met Brooks. Socializing will never be my strong suit, but that’s what I have him for. He never shuts up. Always has something to say or someone to charm. My opposite in most ways. A withdraw I had in his pursuit, except now I see the merit in our romance.

  He’s strong where I’m weak, and vice versa. He lifts my spirits when I’m down. Shows me I don’t have to be what others want, but what I want for myself. We may be opposite, but our values are the same.

  I don’t know what exactly I’ve put into this relationship for him. Brooks is still so hard to read at times. But then he gives me a piece, a glimpse of his mind and heart that reassures me I’m not in this alone.

  I kiss him hello under the Vegas lights and setting sun, surrounded by noise from car horns and sweet strums of guitars and violins and song. There’s so much going on I doubt we’re a blip on anyone’s focus, but I want them all to look and stare. I want every eye on us. For the first time in my life, I want to be the center of attention.

  We drive along the busy streets of the strip and head north to old Vegas. Later, after dinner, we’re going to meet up with Kate, Mila, and their husbands. But right now, it’s us.

  Brooks warned me the city will only get more crowded and crazy as the skies grow darker and the casino lights shine brighter.

  I had no anxiety over the mass of people, though. Two months ago I would have paid no mind to miss out on this short trip. But I had someone worth risking the odds for. I’d follow Brooks anywhere if he asked me.

  As long as he keeps asking, continues to add me in his future, I’ll be fine with that.

  Fine enough for the rest of your life?

  I mentally shake that thought away. Tonight’s not for the heavy thinking.

  Brooks thought I should experience a piece of old Vegas while I was here. He brought me to a restaurant called Hugo’s Cellar. At the door, they handed me a single red rose. Every lady who walked in received the same.

  I set my rose in the vase at our table, admiring and stroking a finger over the velvety petals. The waiter filled our wine glasses, leaving the bottle and walking away with our order.

  As I get lost in the smoky depths of his gaze over my wine glass, I ponder how bad I want to explore the strip. Tremble’s flow down my neck, the smoothness of the wine is warm, but the real heat comes from Brooks’s eyes. It spreads through all my limbs like a good buzz. He’s my alcohol.

  Our table is pushed up beside a red brick wall. My finger traces a figure eight over the linen tablecloth.

  “We should be landing in Tampa tomorrow a little after your flight gets in,” Brooks says, holding on to my eyes as he leans against the table. “Will you wait? I’ll swing around and pick you up.”

  “To go home with you?”

  “Yes.”

  “Aren’t you tired after these kinds of long road trips?” Honestly, I don’t get why I’m trying to convince him with this point. It’s reflex to believe he couldn’t possibly want me in his space after the weary traveling he’s done.

  “I am.” Brooks’s smile kicks up to a grin. “You can assist me with getting rest.”

  “I haven’t been back to your place since…” I roll my bottom lip, dropping my eyes in veiled seduction. “I’ll have to borrow some clothes.”

  My carry-on had two outfits and five pairs of panties. I packed tidy, but I overcompensated with the underwear like usual. It’s been a habit of mine since I was a little girl and my mom scarred me by forgetting my underwear on a family vacation in the middle of nowhere on a camping trip. Now I packed more than necessary.

  Brooks lets loose a low, husky chuckle. “Cute that you think you’ll need clothes.”

  “So it’s one of those sleepovers,” I smile.

  We eat our steak dinner, finishing the wine off and sharing a dessert. A taxi drives us back to the strip, dropping us off near the Bellagio where we stand and watch the fountain show. I lean my arms along the rail in front of m
e, Brooks at my back and wrapping his strong, protective embrace around me.

  I let my head fall back on his chest as the rockets of water transfix me with serenity. Music and the rushing sounds of the fountain sprout into the air. Then Brooks’s mouth is skimming down my neck, setting off a furnace in the pit of my stomach.

  Twisting until my mouth trades places with my neck, I bend my head back and open for his anticipating taste.

  The moment was perfect, the setting was irreplaceable.

  Then we walked away from the fountains, down the sidewalk and through a group of men handing out cards and shoving them into our palms whether we wanted to take them or not. In the matter two seconds, my hand was filled with thirty business cards for escorts.

  Brooks found way too much humor in the look on my face. I shoved the cards in my clutch as a memento.

  As we strolled, I let Brooks lead me with his hand clamped on mine while I took in as much as I could. The Eiffel Tower was across the street, lights from other hotels seated behind it, and a bright blue air balloon. Digital billboards lit the streets as well, advertising shows and events taking place. We crossed the street to The Cosmopolitan, passing a street performer with an act involving hula hoops.

  Brooks’s teammates, Kate, and Mila had dinner at a place inside The Cosmopolitan called Rose. Rabbit. Lie. Kate had been texting me for the last hour to hurry up and get here so I could experience it for myself.

  The swanky lounge-like club had an energy, a vibe I felt almost immediately when we walked inside. Our friends were sitting in a crescent-shaped booth with empty plates and full drinks on the table in front of them. We joined them and ordered drinks, Kate telling the waiter to make me whatever she was drinking when I had no idea what to order.

  When the drinks returned, I was only two sips in on the pineapple and coconut flavored goodness when an impromptu performance broke out. There was a pianist and two others playing bass and guitar, and a lean woman dancing to the music and climbing onto the piano.

  “Marc’s texting me.” Brooks had to shout over the music as he spoke to Ryan at the other side of the table. “He’s at The Chandelier.”