Blindside

by Wilna Adriaanse

  Nick listened absently to the ranting. He didn’t know whether all rich kids made such childish adults, but Allegretti and his sister definitely thought life owed them in a big way.

  “Fine, thanks for letting me know. I’ll swing by the club. See you later.”

  “What am I supposed to do on my own all night?”

  “Read a book.”

  Nick ended the call before he was forced to listen to another tirade.

  Ellie woke up early on Saturday morning. Before she got out of bed, she checked her phone for messages. There was one from Clive on the new phone.

  One of Allegretti’s security guards was shot dead last night in Sea Point. Execution style. Greyling wants you to call Williams on Monday and tell him you’ll take the job. In the meantime, keep your eyes and ears open.

  She replied: Okay. By the way, the prostitute who hid in the bath during the shooting at Barkov’s house is back in town. It shouldn’t be too hard to find her. And Allegretti has a new guy looking after his security. Evidently works for the old man. Malherbe.

  Seconds later she received Clive’s reply. Thanks.

  She made coffee and drank it on the stoep. The morning air held the promise of summer. The sun was a little higher and the rays a little sharper than a week or two ago. It still surprised her every morning that the world just kept turning, while her own world seemed to have come to a standstill. When she noticed, this morning, that the sun had visibly shifted, she realised that the earth had managed to stay in its orbit around it while she had been lying awake at night, wondering how she would find her way through the next day.

  When her mug was empty, she had a shower and got dressed. An hour later she was on her way to Goodwood. She had arranged to take her mom shopping.

  At eleven they were at Pick n Pay. Ellie gritted her teeth, because the basket remained empty. Everything she put in, her mother promptly removed.

  “Where’s your list?”

  “I don’t have one. I’m telling you this is all I need. There’s more than enough at home to see me through.” She remained silent for a moment. “One person can use only so much, you know.”

  Answers don’t come readily packaged, Ellie realised. You pick up their pieces along the way, until one day you realise that all the pieces have formed a picture. She felt as if she had suddenly found an answer right there in the supermarket aisle. The reason she had been wary of serious relationships since Chris was that she’d started shopping for two at one point. It created expectations. Two people’s shopping filled a food cupboard. Then one day the cupboard was emptier by half. It took a long time to get used to it.

  Expectations don’t vanish overnight. Often they haunt you, like the ghost pains of an amputated limb.

  “You don’t have to take me shopping. I didn’t turn into an invalid overnight, you know. I still know how to drive a car. Who do you think ferried you to and fro before you had your driver’s licence? While he was working?”

  “I just thought it would be nice to spend some time together this morning. Get something to eat at a coffee shop.”

  Her mom didn’t answer, but she didn’t protest when Ellie went into the coffee shop after they’d paid for their shopping. They chose a table at the window. When they had ordered, they sat watching the passers-by.

  “When last did you see Aunt Vera?”

  “I don’t know. She popped in during the week. I don’t remember what day it was. She phones a lot. I wish she’d stop. Since she joined that church of hers she just wants to preach. Everything is a sin. It’s a wonder Pete is still allowed to keep his racing pigeons. The way she carries on, it won’t be long before she sees the devil on every pigeon’s wing. And once she’s seen the devil, God help you. She won’t rest until she’s driven him out. Poor old Pete, some days I feel sorry for him. He’s always been such a bore. It’s a miracle he had the initiative to start with the pigeons.”

  Ellie laughed out loud. She wanted to put out her hand and touch her mom, hold onto something, maybe, something she hadn’t seen for a long time. She didn’t know if it was anything other than a childhood memory. But she didn’t; as suddenly as the curtain had opened, it was closed again and her mom withdrew into her own thoughts. Ellie was relieved when the food arrived and they could eat. How did the silence between two people become so vast that no word or sentence could bridge the gap? The two of them had not had an uncomplicated relationship over the past few years, but at least they had been able to make small talk.

  Ellie helped her mom take the shopping bags inside before she took her leave. Her mom didn’t ask her to stay.

  Twenty minutes later she was ringing Melissa’s doorbell. Standing on the stoep, waiting for someone to open, she gazed at False Bay in the distance. To the left, the Stellenbosch mountains were a deep blue.

  “I’ll get it. Watch your sister – don’t let her spill juice all over the carpet,” she heard Melissa’s voice inside.

  Melissa stood rooted to the spot for a moment. “What the hell have you done to your hair?” She grabbed Ellie’s arm and turned her around.

  “What happened to ‘Hello, Ellie, you look nice with your very expensive new haircut’?”

  “Hello, Ellie, you look very strange with your very expensive new haircut. What got into you? First you dye your beautiful hair, and now you’ve gone and hacked it off.”

  “Like you’ve never cut your hair.”

  “It’s not the same.”

  Ellie linked her arm through Melissa’s. “Stop whining. I’m not here for you anyway.”

  They entered the house together and Melissa said: “Talk to me, if you don’t want two kids on your doorstep. I’m desperate for grown-up conversation. I’m going crazy.”

  “Where’s Antonie?”

  “At a conference.”

  “What did you bring me?” Four-year-old Daniel came char­ging around the corner, then stopped in his tracks. “Your hair!”

  Ellie knelt and opened her arms. “I want a hug.”

  He put his arms around her neck and gave her a sticky kiss on the cheek.

  “What’s to become of this child? He’s a shameless beggar.”

  Ellie laughed. They walked into the living room just in time to see two-year-old Annie pour fruit juice over the Labrador and rub it into his fur.

  “Annie, dammit, no! Daniel, didn’t I tell you to watch that she doesn’t do that?” Melissa opened the door that led to the garden. “Out, both of you. Get into the pool.”

  Ellie grabbed the little girl and blew into her neck.

  “Ellie bring me something?” She touched Ellie’s hair.

  Outside, Ellie gave the two little ones the sweets and toys she had brought.

  “Don’t you say thank you?” Melissa drew up chairs under an umbrella.

  “Thank you, Ellie,” they chorused.

  “Don’t mention it, sweeties.”

  “I’ll get us something to drink in a minute. Tell me first, to what do I owe the honour? Can the boys in blue do without you for an entire afternoon?”

  “I resigned.”

  Melissa sat back in her chair and stared at Ellie open-mouthed. “Come again?”

  “I resigned.”

  “What’s going on?”

  “It was time for a change. Don’t read too much into it. It’s not interesting enough to spend hours talking about it.”

  Melissa looked at her. “Maybe not, but when you look at it in conjunction with the changes to your appearance, it tells a different story. Your dad has just died. You make drastic changes to your appearance and then you resign from your job. Do you really think this a good time for making such life-changing decisions?”

  Elli shrugged. “When would be a good time?”

  Melissa got up, left the room and returned with a bottle of white wine and two glasses.

  “Are you supposed to be drinking while you’re looking after the kids?” Ellie asked.

  Melissa poured the wine and took a large gulp from her glass. �
�Don’t make fun of me. He’s a bit better now, but he still drives me crazy. That’s why I made the children take swimming lessons. It was either that, or turn the pool into a rose garden. He called up to four times a day to make sure the gate was closed.”

  “Are you still planning to go back to work?”

  “Daniel, don’t push your sister’s head underwater!” Melissa called out before she answered. “I decided to stay at home this year. It’ll be easier next year, when Annie can join a playgroup as well.” She turned her attention back to Ellie and held up her hand.

  “How did we start talking about me? I want to know about you. I can’t believe you resigned. Why didn’t you tell me you were considering it? We could have talked about it.”

  “There’s nothing to talk about. I prefer to talk about other things. Normal things.”

  Melissa shook her head, making her blonde hair bounce. “We don’t do normal in the suburbs. Everyone thinks the high walls and gates are to keep the criminals out, but actually it’s to keep the crazy stuff inside and make sure no one sees it.”

  Ellie threw back her head and laughed.

  “How’s your mom?” Melissa changed the topic.

  For a while they talked about the funeral and Ellie’s mom.

  “What does Albert say about your resignation? And the new look?”

  “He was angry at first, but I think he’d like us to spend more time together. It was difficult to get to see each other. He likes the hair. I think it appeals to his kinky side. He can pretend he’s sleeping with a strange chick.”

  “How’re things between the two of you?”

  Ellie looked at Melissa, as if she was waiting for her to say more. “As good as can be expected.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “We fight, we make up. Sometimes there’s peace, sometimes not. Sometimes he’s the easiest person to get along with, at other times I don’t know why we’re together at all. He accuses me of being too independent. Says he never really knows what’s going on in my mind.”

  “Generally men prefer it that way. If they knew, they might have to do something about it, and that’s scary shit.”

  “Mommy used a swearword!” Daniel shouted from the pool. “I’m going to tell Daddy.”

  “Then you won’t get any sweets tonight.” Melissa rolled her eyes. “Do you see what you’ve been spared?” As soon as the words were out, she put her hand on Ellie’s arm. “Sorry, that was uncalled for. And it’s not too late. Many women have their babies in their thirties these days.”

  “You know what my dad said after Chris … God never makes a mistake. And he seemed quite convinced.”

  “Have you made plans for the future, or will you be joining my practice?”

  “And listen to people’s complaints and dark secrets all day? No, thanks, I don’t think so.”

  “Have you got something in mind?”

  “There’s a possibility, but it’s too early to talk about it. I’ll let you know as soon as I’m sure.”

  Melissa put her glass down and leaned back in her chair. “Can I play the psychologist for a moment?”

  “Be my guest.”

  “You’re a tough chick. Always have been. But you weren’t necessarily born that way. Much of it is acquired behaviour. When your mom went off the rails, you worked hard to hide your feelings from the world. Then along came Chris, the prick, and pulled the rug from under your feet. Instead of giving him a backhand, you acted all understanding and once again made sure that no one saw how much you were hurting.”

  “People don’t want to deal with other people’s sh—” Ellie saw the kids pricking up their ears. “… other people’s nonsense. My dad used to say there’s a reason why the washing line is in the backyard. Some things aren’t meant for everyone’s eyes.”

  “True, but I’m afraid in your case you don’t even hang your washing in the backyard. If you ask me, you dry it quietly under your bed at night.”

  Ellie gave a lopsided smile. “Sounds like a mouldy business.”

  “At least you don’t smell yet. But that’s exactly what’s got me worried. Logic says you can hide your wet washing under the bed for only so long before it begins to smell.”

  “What do you want me to do?”

  “Stop for a moment. Cry. Mourn the loss of your dad. If there’s one person who deserves your tears, it’s John McKenna.”

  “He was no angel.”

  “I’m not saying he was, but he was a damn decent man, foibles and all. And you’re allowed to mourn his loss. The two of you were a formidable team, even though you fought like cat and dog sometimes. You were probably also the only people who knew what the other one was going through. And now he’s no longer here and you carry on as if nothing has changed. Quitting your job and getting a new look are ways of running away, so you don’t have to deal with your grief. Just like you resigned from your job at the clinic and joined the police service after Chris.”

  “I always said it’s what I’d like to do one day. It was a world I knew, and I understood what it entailed.”

  “And you’re very good at your job – all the more reason why it’s strange just to walk away from it.”

  Ellie felt the words taking shape in her mouth. She had never lied to Melissa before, but just in time she remembered Albert and Clive’s warnings.

  “No one can know. To protect not only yourself, but the other person as well. The moment you take people into your confidence, you’re involving them in a world they didn’t sign up for,” Clive had said.

  Ellie watched the children splashing in the pool and bit back the words.

  “I have to go.”

  “You know I’m saying these things because I love you. Not to criticise. Don’t be annoyed.”

  “I’m not. I just have a lot to do over the weekend.”

  “You and Albert should come for dinner.”

  “I’ll tell him.” She leaned over and kissed Melissa’s cheek. “Don’t get up. I’ll see myself out.” She walked to the edge of the pool and crouched at the steps. “Come say goodbye, you little otters.”

  “What’s an otter?” Daniel asked.

  “Ask your mommy.” She kissed their wet cheeks and laughed when Annie gave her a wet hug. “Bye, Ellie.”

  “Give my love to Antonie.”

  Melissa blew her a kiss from under the umbrella. Ellie walked through the living room. It was a lovely home, set against the Tygerberg hills. Every spacious room was tastefully decorated, with beautiful artworks on the walls. Family photographs kept it from looking like an art gallery. The house was tidy, the way Antonie liked it. Ellie shut the front door behind her and heard the latch click into place.

  When she got into the car, she sat looking at the house for a moment before she pulled away. She no longer thought of Chris very often, but occasionally she wondered what her life would have been like had she married him. In her imagination, there was always a house on a hill. Maybe two kids by now. She hadn’t looked at the diamond ring in her bottom drawer for a long time. Chris hadn’t wanted it back and she’d never been able to decide what to do with it. She caught herself wishing she was the one under that umbrella. She could never be jealous of Melissa, but sometimes she wished her life had remained on an even keel.

  Melissa’s words kept going through her mind as she drove down the hill. How was it possible that others couldn’t see she was grieving?

  “God never makes a mistake,” she repeated her dad’s words out loud. She stopped at the traffic light and shouted: “I beg to differ!”

  CHAPTER 16

  Nick surveyed the chaos around him. He had no idea when Allegretti had decided to invite guests over. When he had left just after nine the night before, Allegretti had been alone, the alarm had been set and the four guards had been at their posts. Neither did he know why they hadn’t called to tell him Allegretti was having the mother of all parties. But one of them said Mr Allegretti had told them he was the boss and if anyone dared call Nic
k, he could kiss his job goodbye.

  He hadn’t looked in the bedrooms, but judging from the number of cars in front of the house, many of the guests had not gone home. There was no sign of the master of the house. Patrice was making a fruitless attempt at creating order. A packet of cocaine lay on the bar counter. Nick tossed it into a drawer and wiped the counter with his sleeve.

  “I’m sorry. If I knew it looked like this, I would have come in earlier,” Patrice said.

  “It’s not your fault.” He was afraid that if he told Patrice the police were on their way, he would lock himself in his room.

  There was one thing he didn’t understand about people like the Allegrettis. They seemed to think everyone who worked for them was either blind or stupid.

  Nick was carrying a tray of dirty glasses to the kitchen when the doorbell rang. The policeman had said around four, and it wasn’t even two o’clock yet. He heard Patrice talk on the intercom and hurried to Allegretti’s room. If he was in bed with another woman, at least it would solve one problem. But to Nick’s surprise, Allegretti was alone in his big bed. It took a while to wake him up.

  “The cops are here.” Nick waited for the words to sink in before he continued. “Richard was shot and killed in Sea Point last night. He had his ID card from the club with him, and he was still in uniform. They called me this morning and said they wanted to talk to you.”

  Allegretti sat up slowly. “Jesus, what happened last night? I feel like death.”

  “I don’t know, but you’d better get your arse in gear, very quickly. The cops are waiting to talk to you.”

  “Who’s Richard? Why don’t you go talk to them?”

  “Richard was a security guard at the club. If I speak to the cops, they’ll think I’m trying to protect you. Get into the shower. I’ll order coffee.”

  When Nick walked into the living room, two men were standing with their backs to him, looking out over the sea.

  “Lieutenant Vermaak?”