“Yes, more or less. What I don’t know is what happened to Nick Malherbe and the other two guys.”
“Greyling arrested them for kidnapping.”
“Where are they now?”
“This is where it becomes really complicated. Malherbe turned out to be a cop, who was recruited by Interpol five years ago to investigate the Allegrettis. Two years ago he got the chance to work for the old man.”
Ellie couldn’t quite grasp all the information. She stored it somewhere in her memory – she would process it later. “Albert?”
“He’s been suspended, pending an investigation.”
“Do you think …” She couldn’t bring herself to ask.
“I don’t know what to think. I think he was fucking careless, and hopelessly overeager. It clouded his judgement.”
“Brenda?”
He gave another lopsided smile. “That’s one tough cookie. She sends her regards, and says you’d better get up because she personally wants to kick your arse.”
“Tell her I owe her. Clara?”
“Apparently with the family, but she wants to go back to Allegretti. There’s no stopping her. Greyling is trying his best to get Allegretti charged with kidnapping, but it’s complicated, with Malherbe and Interpol in the mix. Allegretti is in Joburg at the moment. I think Cape Town is a bit too hot for him.”
“Poor Clara.”
Clive shook his head. “Poor Clara, my arse. Look at you!”
“I was very stupid.”
“The two of us will have a long conversation about that later. I need to go. The sister has been giving me the evil eye for a while now. They want a statement from you about what happened at your house. Williams’s nephew said when they dropped you off, there was nothing wrong with you. The others are backing up his story. Clara is so confused, she can’t remember a thing. Can you remember what happened?”
Before Ellie could answer, the sister put her head around the door. She looked strict. “I’m sorry, but you’ll have to go now. She has to rest.”
Clive touched her shoulder. “Don’t be afraid. There’s someone at the door around the clock.”
“Is it necessary?”
He shook his head. “We’re not sure. You might be the only one whose cover hasn’t been blown. But we’re not taking any chances.” He looked at the monitors and tubes. “Do you need anything?”
“A glass of whisky would be great. Make it a bottle.”
“I’ll see what I can arrange.” He squeezed her hand. “Mac, nothing I say will make it better. I don’t know how I’m going to live with myself. You trusted me to have your back and I failed you.”
“It wasn’t your fault.”
“Yes, it was, but we can talk about it another time. I’ll see you later. Ahmed sends his regards. He wanted to come himself, but he couldn’t pass himself off as your brother. He’s so pissed off that everyone is giving him a wide berth. I suspect he’s the one who ordered the investigation into Greyling.”
He leaned over and kissed her forehead. “Shit, Mac, I fucked up bigtime.”
He turned away and she saw him wipe his eyes as he walked through the door and took off the protective clothing. He exchanged a few words with the young man sitting at the door, and then he was gone.
The conversation had made her tired. She closed her eyes.
The days went by with a predictable rhythm. She thought the haze was thinning out a little, and that she could think more clearly for longer periods. But the pain lay waiting, just beyond the haze. Sometimes she went there on purpose. She remembered reading somewhere about people who were addicted to pain. The doctor did his rounds at least twice a day. There were other doctors as well, who came to study charts, sometimes writing something down after exchanging a few words with her.
Clive came every day, but after their initial conversation they both seemed to be avoiding the bigger issues. It was easier to limit their conversations to the reality of the ward. Usually they looked through the glass at what was happening on the other side.
“Damn, that woman talks a lot. If I were her husband, I’d leave her here.”
Ellie looked at the patient in the bed against the opposite wall. “He comes to visit her often.”
“There are still a few good men out there.”
“How are Ansie and the kids?”
“Fine, I suppose, or I would have heard all about it.” He stroked her fingers. “That’s a good-looking nurse with the short blonde hair.”
“Yes, and she’s nice, too.”
“I don’t think I’d like a male nurse.”
“Neither do I.”
“What do the doctors say?”
“About what?”
“Have they told you how much longer you’ll be here?”
“No one has said I’m allowed to leave.”
He looked at his watch. “I’ve got to go. Are you sure I can’t bring you anything?”
“That whisky you keep promising.”
“When you look a little less like a guinea pig in a medical experiment I’ll bring us a bottle.” He kissed her forehead. “Aah, Mac …”
She looked at his retreating figure. The two of them could never get married, but as colleagues they had a very special relationship. Some of the others were jealous of the bond between them, even though he was nonchalant towards her at the best of times. That was why it was so strange to see him act like this. She didn’t want him to feel responsible. One day, when words came more easily, she’d raise the topic.
Ellie was relieved that her mother hadn’t come again, but when she woke up at night, she sometimes felt a childlike longing. Sometimes she dreamed. Confused dreams, in which her dad often featured. But he always had his back to her. Sometimes he turned, but she couldn’t see his face.
She never cried. There are things in life you can’t cry about.
Until one day Melissa walked in, and Ellie burst into tears the moment she saw her. Melissa lowered the railing and carefully got into the bed beside her. The sister came in and began to protest, but Melissa waved her away. She held Ellie in her arms while she sobbed.
When the worst of the tears had subsided, Melissa sat up. She didn’t get off the bed. They didn’t speak, just held hands and looked at each other.
“Who told you?”
Melissa wiped her eyes with her sleeve. “I called your mom last night out of sheer desperation. I’ve been trying to get hold of you since last week. Albert’s phone was also off, and I didn’t know who else to call.”
“What did my mom say?”
“That you’d been in an accident. Is it true?”
“I suppose you could say so.”
Melissa sat up straighter. “What really happened?”
In her mind she had gone over the events from every possible direction, but her thoughts and her words were not in sync. Thoughts are fluid – they have no borders, and don’t restrict you. With thoughts, you don’t need a beginning, middle and end. Thoughts are seamless. How would she pick her first word if she wanted to talk about this, and what would the second and third words be? Words lend structure to a story, a structure that’s difficult to break down again.
“I was in the wrong place at the wrong time.”
“Your mom said it was an attempted hijacking.”
Ellie almost smiled. Clive had been creative.
“Something like that.”
“How serious are your injuries?” Melissa indicated the monitors. “As far as I know, they don’t hook you up to these just for fun. They seem to be worried about infection. The sister who gave me the scrubs nearly made me wash all the skin off my hands.”
Ellie looked at Melissa for a moment before her gaze shifted to the glass. Words were her enemy at the moment.
“I was stabbed in the abdomen and chest. Fortunately he missed the important arteries and organs.”
Melissa shook her head and rested the palm of her hand on Ellie’s cheek. ‘My darling friend.” Her eyes were shiny a
gain, and Ellie felt her own emotions build up like a wave.
Before they could say anything more, the sister entered and asked Melissa to leave.
“I’ll be back.” She kissed Ellie’s cheek. “Let me know if I can bring you anything.”
While the sister got busy with the monitors and replaced the IV bags on the stands, Ellie lay wondering why people always wanted to bring patients in hospital something. Flowers, usually, or something to eat. It didn’t matter what was wrong with the person. Flowers and food it would be.
“I’m going to be stricter with your visitors, even if they’re relatives. They stay too long and it tires you out.”
Ellie didn’t answer. It was the strict sister. The one who didn’t make small talk. The one with the rougher touch. By this time she could identify them by their smell. None of them wore intrusive perfume. They seemed to know just how much to apply so that it wasn’t overwhelming. But this one smelled neutral.
“What’s the time?”
“Just after eight.”
At the beginning she couldn’t tell day from night. Now she recognised the faces on night duty and those of the daytime staff. But it wasn’t just their faces. She had learnt the routine, and could sense when things were calmer on the other side of the glass. The lights were usually dimmed and there was less movement.
A nurse entered, closed the blinds and proceeded to wash her. She closed her eyes and slipped off to a distant place. She had always had an easy relationship with her body. Her intimate relationships with Chris and Albert had been uncomplicated. Now her body had become a thing apart. An object to be pushed and pulled. Touched, discussed. She felt hands moving the rough facecloth over her skin. Across her neck, around one breast, skirting the bandages on the other one. Her flanks, her legs, feet. Then she was turned carefully and the process was repeated. Down her back, the small of her back, her buttocks, legs, ankles. She smelled the soap. It smelled of lemon and something else. Maybe Melissa could bring her a different kind of soap. Maybe it would help if she didn’t smell of lemon all day.
When the nurse had finished, she sprinkled talcum powder in her armpits and between her thighs. The powder smelled of vanilla. Lemon and vanilla. She’d become a pudding.
She was dressed in a clean gown, and her linen was changed. She was exhausted, and was glad when the lights were dimmed again.
She closed her eyes.
Nick looked at the figure on the bed, the head on the pillow. Her hair was swept back, and her face looked pale and small. She hardly made a dent in the hospital mattress. Since she’d been admitted to hospital, he’d been entertaining the thought of looking in on her, but every day he’d found a new reason why it wouldn’t be a good idea. The reasons were still there, but tonight his excuses had run out.
“Can I help you?” He turned. A sister was standing behind him, a deep frown between her brows. “It’s half past twelve. You can’t be here now. Besides, only relatives are allowed to visit.”
“I’m from the police. I’m relieving the officer outside. He left to get something to eat.”
“May I see some identification?”
Nick felt like saying something rude. He didn’t feel like producing ID at this time of night, but he did as she had asked.
“Sorry, Colonel, but we have strict orders. Do you know her?”
“No, not really.”
“I don’t know exactly what happened, but she’s been very seriously injured. She’s lucky to be alive.”
Nick made no comment. He was glad when the young policeman returned.
“I have no problem telling them you’re not ready yet.” It was a week later and Ellie was being prepared for the inevitable questioning by the various crime agencies. She was no longer in intensive care, and the hospital had made one of its boardrooms available to the police. A doctor was making sure she would be able to endure the session.
“I just want to get it over with.”
“If you feel you’re getting too tired, or if you don’t feel well, call one of the staff, and they’ll take you back to your ward at once. I won’t allow their impatience to undo all the progress we’ve made.”
“I’ll be okay,” Ellie said as she was helped into a wheelchair.
She didn’t know who she’d been expecting, but she was slightly taken aback by the sight of the man who was waiting for her. Brigadier Ahmed was at the head of the table. He got up when she was wheeled in and came over to shake her hand. He put his hand on her shoulder.
“Mac, it’s good to see you again, though I would have preferred the circumstances to have been different.”
Beside him was Clive. There were two officials from the police’s complaints directorate. Brigadier Andile Zondi also came forward to greet her. Nick Malherbe got up from his seat on the other side of the table, but didn’t approach. When her wheelchair had been parked at the other end of the table, everyone sat down again. Ahmed introduced the strangers, including the woman sitting next to Nick: Monica Blake.
A stenographer sat a small table against the back wall.
Ellie was asked to state her name and explain her role in the investigation. She confirmed that she had been in the employ of the South African Police Service at the time of the incident, and had been part of a covert operation. She was asked who had recruited her for the operation, who had been her handler, and when last she’d had contact with them. She had to explain the nature of her work for Nazeem Williams. Had there been any contact that did not pertain to the investigation between her and Enzio Allegretti?
“Can you tell us what happened that Tuesday?” a man from the complaints directorate asked.
Ellie had begun to find it easier to recall the events of that day, but she always reached a point where she felt as if a fuse had blown in her brain. As if her memory refused to go any further. At first she’d kept trying, but she soon discovered that it made her anxious. The way that night had ended lay, now, like a fallow field, waiting to be ploughed. It would demand exertion.
She began to relate how she had taken Clara to her family in the morning. She kept talking, until she reached the point where they arrived at the house in Blouberg. She tried to keep her voice even and her hands motionless in her lap, but she could feel her nails digging into her palms. She was allowed to talk and was stopped only occasionally for a question, or a request to make something clearer.
When she began to talk about Nick searching her room, she felt her breathing become shallower. She forced herself to take deeper breaths.
“Did you have a cellphone with you at that point?”
“Yes.”
“Why didn’t Colonel Malherbe find it?” It was Monica Blake who asked.
“When he knocked on the door, I hid it in a creeper on the windowsill.” She glanced briefly at Nick. He was watching her without any visible emotion. Ellie presumed he had already been questioned.
When she continued, she felt her memory falter. She had to force herself to focus and recall the events step by step. Before she got to the last part, where Reggie and the others dropped her at home, she paused for a drink of water.
“How sure are you that he was the one who attacked you?”
“There was no one else near me, and we’d had a scrap earlier that day.”
“What was the nature of the scrap?”
She told them.
“And did you see it as a threat?”
She wished they would be less formal. It was irritating her no end.
“Not really. He was angry about the engagement. I thought it was just his way of blowing off steam.”
There were dozens of questions, and she noticed that many of them were being rephrased and repeated. She was completely exhausted, but she sat up straight and tried to outline the events as logically as possible. She had to get it done. There was a place in her mind where she had to go. A place she could no longer ignore.
CHAPTER 36
Ellie lay back on the mattress and breathed deeply. It was soft an
d big and more welcoming than the hospital bed.
“Can I make you something to drink?” Melissa had already unpacked her bag, and was sitting at the foot of the bed.
“You’re not going to wait on me all weekend. I need to build strength, which I’m not going to do if I behave like an invalid.”
“You can go back to being Superwoman on Monday. This weekend I’m going to spoil you. You owe me that.”
“Are you sure Antonie and the kids will survive the weekend without you?”
“Yes, it’ll do them good. Knowing Antonie, he’s already phoned his mom and she’s on her way with a carload of food.” Melissa touched Ellie’s leg. “I know you can’t tell me and I don’t really want to know, but there’s a police car in front of the house. How worried should I be?”
“It’s not really necessary. They won’t stay long. It’s just to make the lot at the office feel better.” Ellie swung her legs off the bed. “Let’s make tea and drink it on the stoep. I could do with some fresh air.”
It was a warm November day. Ellie put her feet up on the railing and lifted her face to the sun. In the distance she could hear the drone of the city, but up here it was quiet. Even the freeway was just a soft buzz. The air was filled with bird sounds and the occasional barking of a dog. She heard the neighbours’ back door open and moments later she smelled the grandfather’s cigarette smoke. Clearly he wasn’t allowed to smoke indoors.
“I need to go and see my mom.”
“Would you like me to fetch her?”
“No, I think I should go to her.”
Silence fell between them.
“I’m going away for a while.”
Melissa lowered her coffee mug. “Where to?”
“I don’t know yet.”
“Sweetie, I don’t want to argue with you, but isn’t it time to stop running and be still for a change? Seems to me you’ve been running non-stop since Chris did his disappearing act.”
“That’s exactly what I want to do, but I can’t do it here. In hospital I had a lot of time to think. I know it’s the right decision. I’m going to rent out my house, pack the bare minimum and head off. And don’t look so worried. I will come back. And I’ll send word to let you know I’m okay.”
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