by Ruby Vincent
I don’t know how he does it, but Ryder keeps seeing inside to what I truly want.
“I would love that.”
I sat down and our lesson began. I wasn’t going to become a master pianist in an afternoon, but Ryder taught me the different notes and where to place my hands. He was patient as he showed me how to play a simple tune.
“Just like that. C, C, D, E.”
I struck the wrong note and the discordant sound told me right away. “Oops. That’s wrong.”
“It’s okay. Let me help.” Ryder put his hand on top of mine, lining up our fingers as he gently pressed them down to the right notes. I felt the heat from his body and it made goose bumps erupt on my skin. I could smell the lingering scent of pine soap and a musk that was all Ryder.
I looked up at him as he made my fingers dance. “Will you play something for me?”
“Of course.” Ryder removed his hand. I missed his touch, but anticipation tempered the loss. I could not wait to hear him play.
In moments, the room was filled with a melody I didn’t know. The difference between my banging and Ryder’s playing was night and day. His fingers glided over the keys in a way that was enchanting to watch and to hear. The song was hauntingly beautiful. For reasons I didn’t understand, tears were prickling at the back of my eyes by the time he played the last note.
“Ryder, that was amazing.”
“I’ve played that one so many times I’ve lost count. It’s one of Mom’s favorites.”
“It’s my favorite now too.” I leaned my head against his arm. “Thank you for this. I loved it.”
“It doesn’t have to stop. I can teach you to play. If you want to learn.”
“I do.” I tilted my head back to let him see my smile. “It would mean a lot to me.”
“Perfect.” Ryder closed the lid over the keys. “Is there something else you would like to do? Mom will probably rest for a few more hours so we can bowl, play pool, watch a movie, anything you like.”
“What doesn’t this house have?”
“Nothing. We have everything.”
I laughed, but it faded as I drifted back to what he said. “Caroline has to rest often. Is it okay if I ask...?”
“What’s wrong with her,” he finished.
“I wasn’t going to put it like that. It’s just today I seemed to upset her talking about the future. I want to be sensitive to what she needs. I don’t want to bring her down again.”
“It wasn’t you, Valentina.” Ryder addressed me, but he spoke to the piano. His eyes were fixed on the shiny surface. “Mom is going through a lot. She doesn’t like me to talk about it, but she gets down often. She sleeps most of the day and doesn’t get out of bed some mornings.
“This wasn’t how it always was. She used to be so happy and alive. When I was small, she’d take me out every day and we’d go to the park, the beach, and on picnics—just the two of us. Benjamin was never a good father, but he was hardly around when I was little so I didn’t notice. Mom and I were happy on our own... until things changed. Looking back, that must have been when he found out I wasn’t his son, because he did everything he could to make us miserable.”
I curled my fingers around his arm but did not speak. I let him get it out.
“The things he put us through... they leave a mark. They don’t just go away even though he has. Mom isn’t the same person, but she’s still my mom, and she’s always been there for me in every way she could.”
“I understand.”
“I know you do.” My hand fell off his arm as he raised it and put it around me. “You’re the only one who understands me. It’s a good thing I’m stuck with you.” His tone turned teasing. “There really isn’t anyone else like you who would put up with me.”
“That’s very true. You are astoundingly lucky.”
“No arguments here.”
I burrowed into his side. “Will you play another song for me?”
“Yes, but before I do, there’s something I need to tell you.”
There was something in his tone that made me pull away. “What? What happened?”
Ryder took his eyes off the piano now. He twisted around until he faced me. “It’s the guys. They wanted to tell you, but they didn’t know how you would take it, so I said I would tell you.”
“Tell me what?”
“You know why Ezra went home this weekend. He decided to tell his mom the truth.”
I nodded.
“Well, Maverick and Jaxson got weekend passes too. They’re going to do it. They are telling their parents what Scarlett did to us while we were in prep school.” He gripped my shoulders. “We can’t stand watching you deal with the fallout to protect the unknown ‘student.’ They wanted their folks to be the first to know, but next we’re going into Evergreen’s office and revealing what she did.”
My mouth fell open, jaw working but no sounds coming out. “Talking to their parents is a big step,” I said when I found my voice. “But I don’t need to be the reason. You don’t have to do this for me. You should do it for you.” I clambered to my feet. “I have to call the guys. I have to tell them—”
“They already did it, Val.”
That halted me in my tracks. Slowly, I turned to him, tears collecting in my eyes. “I want to b-be there for them—for you. I have to.”
“You are here for us, and when they’re ready, they will come to you.” He put out his hands and they drew me back to him.
“What about you?” I whispered as he pulled me to his chest. “Should I go so you can talk to Caroline?”
“No.” His hand was warm as he rubbed my back. “It’s different for us. Mom would never forgive herself. She’d take the blame and spend days in bed crying because she thought she wasn’t there for me when I needed her. Scarlett’s done enough. I’m not letting what she did hurt Mom too.”
I hesitated. Ryder did not always respond well to me telling him what to do in regard to his mom. “Ryder, it’s going to hurt, of course it will, but Caroline would want to be there for you. You’ve been taking care of her for so long, but you’re her son. She wants to take care of you too.”
The silence stretched between us and I feared that I went too far.
“You’re probably right,” he said so softly I almost did not hear him. “I’ve wanted to tell her so many times over the years, but nothing would come out. I don’t know how to do it, Val. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to.”
I hugged him tighter. “You will. When you’re ready, you’ll find the strength... and Caroline will find the strength to be there for you.”
I don’t know how long we stayed like that, holding each other before the piano, but we didn’t move until one of the staff came to tell us Caroline was ready for the movie.
My stay at Ryder’s home was so perfect, I did not want to leave when Sunday afternoon came around. Somehow, we were able to overcome the pain that followed our talk about Scarlett and enjoy the rest of our time together. We cooked, joked, watched about a dozen old movies, and Ryder and I snuck in another piano lesson. For one weekend, I had what I wanted—a fun, normal time with the boy I cared about, but now I had to return to the academy.
“Visit as often as you can.” Caroline pressed featherlight kisses to both of my cheeks. “I haven’t had that much fun in ages.”
“I will. We’ll pick up our discussion on Citizen Kane.”
She raised a brow. “That wasn’t a discussion; it was an argument. One that I will win. Citizen Kane is the best movie of our time.”
“I still say it’s Psycho. Hitchcock revolutionized the slasher film genre.”
She waved that away. “He scared a few people out of their panties. Citizen Kane inspired a generation.”
A snicker to my right told me Ryder was laughing at us.
“Oh, yeah. We’re definitely picking up this argument next time,” I warned. “We’re also doing a Hitchcock movie marathon.”
“Oh, no.” She pressed a hand to her chest
. “I think I’ll have to rest that weekend.”
We laughed as she pulled me in for a hug. Underneath everything, Caroline had a sense of humor as sharp as her son’s.
I waved goodbye to her on the porch and then hopped in Ryder’s car. We soon made it back to the academy and passed through the gates. The smile faded from my face with every step that brought me closer to the dorm. Most of the group was gathered in the front room when we entered. Unease took hold of me as I looked around. I noticed immediately that Ezra and Maverick were not there. The next thing I saw were their expressions.
“What’s wrong?”
They shared a look that only made me worry more. It was Jaxson who answered me. “We’re not sure.”
“What do you mean?”
“We went to grab food from our new lunchroom, but there were no trays. We were forced to go to the cafeteria and the Knights were there.”
Ryder stepped forward. “Did they do something?”
“No,” Kai replied. “But Isabella asked for Valentina. She looked annoyed when we said you weren’t here. Although that’s how she usually looks so who can tell the difference.”
Sofia got to her feet. “Val, she said that a decision had been made.”
I tensed. “A decision? What decision?”
“She wouldn’t explain. The last thing she said before the four of them walked out was that it was time to end this.”
“Time to end this?” My bag slipped off my shoulder as I collapsed next to Kai. “How the fuck do we take that? She must be talking about the mark, right?”
Jaxson shook his head. “If it came from Natalie, I’d say it was definitely bad for us, but she just stood there. Isabella has been strangely silent while everyone else has been raging about the Spades and Scarlett. She stops the arguments from getting out of hand, but she hasn’t given an opinion either way.”
“Maybe because she was waiting on someone else’s opinion.” I looked down at my bag where my phone was concealed in the pocket.
Ace has not been talking to me, but they could be talking to her.
“We can’t sit here panicking,” I continued. “We’ll find out tomorrow what she means. We’ll end this.”
I SAID WE SHOULDN’T panic but still we spent half the night going back and forth on what the next day would bring. Were the marks going to be lifted for good this time and the Spades brought to their knees, or would we find ourselves worse off than we were before?
I did not have an answer to that, but I did have a question when the group broke apart for the night.
“Jaxson?” He stood at the window, staring unseeingly out into the pitch-black night. All night I had wanted to pull him aside and talk. “Hey.”
It didn’t seem like he heard me. I slipped my arm through his and he jumped.
“Oh, Val. Sorry. Did you say something?”
I shook my head. “I haven’t seen Ezra or Maverick. They haven’t texted me back either.”
“That’s because they never came back to school.”
“What?” I breathed. “Why?”
“Their folks called Evergreen and pulled them out of school for a few days.” Jaxson didn’t look at me. “He didn’t fight them under the circumstances.”
“Are they okay?”
“Ezra and Rick are, but their parents not so much. Amelia hasn’t stopped crying since Ezra told her. Maverick’s parents have gone between crying, raging, and talking to the police.”
“They went to the police,” I repeated.
“Marcus wouldn’t hear about doing anything else. He even threatened to sue the school for hiring her in the first place. That forced Rick to tell him the cops were already looking into her. Amelia and Marcus are going in with them when they give their statements.”
I rose on tiptoe and kissed his cheek. “What about you? Did you talk to your father?”
He nodded.
“Do you want to tell me about it?”
He nodded again.
I waited. The silence pressed in on us as Jaxson gazed into the night, but I didn’t rush him. I promised I would be there for him and that’s what I would do.
When he spoke, his voice sounded strange. “I’ve only seen my dad cry once before this weekend,” he whispered. “That was when Mom died. He wouldn’t stop, Val. I didn’t know how to make him stop.”
“Jaxson,” was all I got out before I was crying too.
Jaxson didn’t cry, but that night we fell asleep on the floor beneath the window. I couldn’t bring him into my room, but neither of us could be parted from each other. I fell asleep feeling warm and safe in his arms. I hoped he felt the same in mine.
Chapter Five
Weariness clung to me as we climbed the four flights to the senior floor, and it wasn’t only because I went to bed late.
Walking into Roundtree’s class felt like stepping onto a battlefield, but as we put our phones away and found our seats, I saw there was no war coming.
The class worked quietly on their homework, and whenever someone made a sound, Roundtree shushed them. There would be no screaming matches today.
I tried to do my individuals and societies homework, but every minute or two, I lifted my head to search the faces around me. Was Ace in this room? Were they the ones who made the decision we were waiting to hear?
The bell jarred me out of my thoughts. I put away my half-finished homework and followed my friends to lit class.
“Good morning, everyone,” said our professor. “Next class, you will be choosing your book for your midterm assignment, but today, we’re going over the elements of a great college essay. We’ll go over examples, and then you’ll craft your own using sample topics. Any questions?”
No one had questions so class got underway. I copied the notes even though I had done and redone my essay a dozen times. Somerset applications had opened a week before school started, though they weren’t due until October. The essay topic chosen for the upcoming freshman class was almost fate.
What is the greatest hardship you’ve faced? How did you overcome it?
Where did I begin? Being raped, ending a life, becoming a teenage mother, entering the academy, finding that card in my locker, endless taunting, hounding, and bullying. I could have written them a book.
Deciding what to talk about hadn’t been easy. I went back and forth until I had an essay I was pleased with, but depending on today, there could be more hardships to add.
I spoke about moving forward in my essay. I hoped that today we would do so.
I sensed the same feeling buzzing through the group. Kicked out of the library, we spent our study period in the dorm. After, we went back to the main building for lunch. Jaxson leaned into me when we reached the fourth floor.
“Val.” He bumped my shoulder. “With everything that’s going on... I needed last night. Can it just be you and me again tonight?”
“I’d like that.” I was desperate to know what was going on with Ezra and Maverick, but I respected that they needed their space. They would call me when they were ready.
Jaxson and I walked into Roundtree’s classroom holding hands.
The professor waved his half-eaten apple at us. “No food in here. You’ll have to hit the lunchroom.”
That was no surprise. I pulled ahead of them, leading the way to the cafeteria, but Ryder and Jaxson were right on my heels. We stepped into the lunchroom and a ripple went through the room. One by one, people fell quiet under the effect my presence seemed to have.
I looked toward the dais and found the new Knights where I expected them to be. Isabella cut a piece of lasagna, brought it to her lips, and chewed delicately. After she swallowed, she dabbed the corner of her mouth with a napkin.
Anxiety twisted my gut into a tight knot as I waited.
Finally, she dropped her napkin down and pushed away from the table.
I thought she would address me. Isabella didn’t look my way while she walked to the edge of the dais. “I know you all have questions—”
“Is the mark lifted?” Lola demanded.
“It has to be over,” Juliet said. “Valentina didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Valentina Moon told us that she was marked because she discovered the former art teacher was a pedophile.” Isabella swept the room until she landed on me. She looked me in the eyes and said, “She lied.”
“What?! I did not lie!” I shouted, but I was not the only one.
“Why would you say that?” Claire cried. “How do you know it’s a lie?”
“Of course it’s a lie,” said Isabella. It bothered me how calm she was. She spoke as though she was reciting an English paper. “If she was innocent from the beginning, she could have said so. There was no reason for her to keep quiet, especially after LeBlanc left the school.” Behind her, Natalie and Darren got to their feet. “Valentina wasn’t marked to hide someone else’s secret; she was marked because the Spades discovered her own.”
I reeled back. What the hell is she talking about?
“Rather than leave, she fought us, attacked us, turned the old Knights on the school, and then made up a story about a teacher who wasn’t here to defend themselves to get the mark lifted.”
Anger boiled my blood. “That is a load of flaming horseshit, Isabella! LeBlanc is who I say she is.”
“Is she?” She lifted one perfectly plucked eyebrow, remaining the picture of calm. “Well, that load of horseshit came to me... from the Spades themselves.”
Gasps went up around the room. The name “Spades” was on every mouth as they looked at Isabella in shock.
“I don’t care what they told you,” I announced. “They’re wrong.”
“If they’re wrong, why hasn’t this unknown victim of Scarlett LeBlanc materialized? They could prove your story, but no one has because they don’t exist.”
“They do exist, dumbass.” I stalked toward her until I was a foot from the dais. “They’ve already gone to the police and told them everything.”