Warm November

by Kathleen Knowles

  If she didn’t look like a lesbian now, she didn’t know what else to do. She drew the line at getting a tattoo and cutting off her hair.

  She liked that she looked younger than her age, which couldn’t hurt. The jeans fit snugly, which also could only be a plus. She adjusted her cap and squeezed the visor to the correct shape, then smirked at her mirror image.

  When she went downstairs to meet Merle and Arthur, she struck a pose and asked, “So? What do you think, boss?”

  Merle was putting Arthur’s harness and leash on with her back to Hayley. She was crouched on the floor, and her T-shirt had pulled out of her chinos. Hayley could see the outline of her spine. This moved her in some way she didn’t quite comprehend. Merle’s arms and shoulders were flexed, and Hayley thought that other than the gray hair and the slight crow’s feet, she could pass for mid-thirties maybe. Was being a lesbian the key to not aging?

  Merle stood up and turned around and took in Hayley, scrutinizing her impassively for a moment and then breaking into a wide grin. “You look terrific. The ball cap is a very good idea. It’s windy on the hill.”

  “Is that the only reason I should wear a cap?” Hayley asked.

  “Well, no. It’s a nice touch. Ditto the sneakers. You’re a dream date for practically any lesbian. With Arthur in tow, you’ll be a big hit.”

  Hayley beamed in response. She was ready to conquer the lesbian world. “I’m going to have hat hair!” she quipped.

  “That’s even better!” Merle started laughing and Hayley laughed with her. She wasn’t sure really what they were laughing about, but it felt good.

  They walked out into Bonview Street.

  “Could we maybe walk around a little before we go up the hill?”

  “Oh, sure,” Merle said agreeably. “We have lots of little streets around the hill that are pretty and hidden. We don’t have to go up the direct way.”

  Outside on a dog walk, Merle seemed far more relaxed than she had so far. Their dinner together had broken the ice as Hayley had hoped, and Merle was now engaged in helping her meet women.

  They reached the corner of Bonview and Coso, walked down Elsie Street, and doubled back to Bonview Street’s dead end.

  “Holy crap. What’s this?”

  They stood facing a carport with a giant statue of the Buddha underneath.

  Merle stood there, hands on hips, shaking her head, apparently enjoying Hayley’s reaction.

  “I’ve no idea, but I’ve always liked it.” The Buddha, at least eight feet tall, was made of some sort of grayish-blue material. The sunlight filtering through the carport’s roof onto Buddha enhanced his standard air of serenity.

  “I can see why. It’s so eccentric. So Bernal.”

  Merle laughed, then said, “Come on. Here’s a path I really love.” She jumped up onto a tiny dirt path at the end of the Buddha driveway so fast Hayley had to trot to keep up. The path skirted a fence, then meandered past more backyards. Between the houses, Hayley could glimpse the Sutro Tower and Twin Peaks in the distance. She mentally oriented herself for future reference.

  They passed a huge cypress tree with a rope swing attached.

  “Look at this,” Merle said.

  Hayley didn’t even think about it. She grabbed the rope and jumped on it, and her momentum caused her to arc over the hill and then back. Merle caught her in mid-swing. She hadn’t noticed that Merle was standing so close. Her hands held Hayley’s legs, and she was hyperaware of the touch. She looked at Merle’s hands on her thighs and then into her face.

  After a moment of silence, Merle blinked and cleared her throat. “The neighbor may not like us messing with his rope swing.”

  “Oh, right.” Hayley dropped to the dirt. Merle’s hands fell to her sides and she looked a little embarrassed. It was charming.

  “Sorry.”

  “No worries.”

  Merle stepped back on the path and Hayley followed her, trying to analyze how she felt. She found herself staring at Merle’s back and watching her legs move and her arms swing. Arthur trotted ahead of her, stopping every so often to mark. Hayley visualized them in the wilderness somewhere. In the mountains perhaps, hiking through an evergreen forest. Merle would be wearing a backpack, Hayley would be walking behind her, and they’d climb a High Sierra trail together. At the summit, they’d look at the view, then at each other, and kiss. Hayley shook herself. She was venturing into dangerous territory again. This would never do.

  She caught up to Merle and asked, “How did you choose Arthur?”

  “Friend of a friend’s dog had puppies. I wanted a larger-size dog, but I also wanted an easygoing breed.”

  “I, um, heard Labs aren’t the brightest bulbs in the chandelier.” Hayley had Googled Labs to learn something about them before she moved in. Somehow she knew her slight of Arthur’s intelligence wouldn’t offend Merle.

  Merle looked at her for a moment, then said, “That’s what makes them so great! If I wanted a problem solver, i.e., a problem maker, I would have gotten a border collie or a corgi.” She laughed in that open enthusiastic manner Hayley was getting familiar with, and it caused her to laugh too.

  “Where did his name come from? It seems a little formal for him.”

  “I was a sci-fi nut when I was a kid. So he’s named for Arthur C. Clarke. Even when he was a pup, he was solemn, so it seemed to fit.” On cue, Arthur turned around to stare at them.

  “Righto, boy. You understand we’re talking about you.”

  Hayley watched Merle’s profile. She liked how her eyes crinkled up at the corners as she looked at her dog. Arthur trotted forward and then turned and looked at them, wagging his tail.

  “Oh, okay, a little faster. Roger.” Merle strode ahead as Arthur picked up the pace of their walk.

  Hayley followed Merle and watched the way her body moved through space. She had a self-assured walk. Not a swagger exactly, but she was confident and at ease in her environment. They emerged on the other side of the trees into an open area and made a right-hand turn on up the hill.

  Arthur chose his bathroom spot. While Merle cleaned up, Hayley looked to the north to Twin Peaks and then to the east where the downtown high-rises loomed. Beyond them was the Bay. Then she turned her gaze back at Merle and Arthur. She could see them out in the woods somewhere with no civilization around, no people, no houses. Merle was by all indications a sophisticated urbanite, but Hayley saw that at another time, another place, she would be at home in much less citified surroundings. Hayley could see her standing on a boulder. Then she stopped herself. This fantasy was really getting out of hand.

  Again, to get out of her head, she spoke. “This is so cool. It seems like we’re in a small town somewhere.”

  “Yeah. It’s a reminder of the Bernal neighborhood’s rural past. They used to graze goats around the hill. Most of the southern parts of San Francisco were Mexican ranchos in the early part of the nineteenth century. The City grew outward from the waterfront.”

  “Where I used to live was nothing but sand dunes for a long time.”

  “That’s for sure. Nothing there but dunes and beach grass except for Sutro’s places out on the cliffs, until they built Golden Gate Park.”

  “You know the City pretty well?”

  “Only some parts of it. The ones I like. Land’s End, for instance. We could go for a walk there sometime.”

  “I’d like that.” There was a beat of silence, but it wasn’t uncomfortable or anxiety producing. Hayley wasn’t sure what, if any, significance to assign to it, but she noticed its existence.

  “All right. Ready to go meet the multitudes of lesbians?” Merle had drawn herself up to full height and looked as though she was prepared for action. Hayley was beginning to recognize this trait and was charmed by it. Merle wasn’t dominating, but she was positive and behaved like a leader. Hayley found herself very much wanting to be led.

  “I think so. After the buildup you’ve given me, I hope I don’t get too nervous and act like a doofus.
”

  “You’re very undoofus-like.” Merle stated this with such certainty, Hayley wanted to hug her.

  “Thanks. I’m glad you think so.” They walked around to Bernal Heights Boulevard and to the parking lot. Bernal Hill’s red dirt and red rocks glowed in the midday sun, but it was windier than ever. As they marched up the road, Hayley took deep breaths and tried to match her stride to Merle and Arthur’s speed. They approached what looked like a huge crowd of people and dogs gathered in the parking area.

  Hayley heard Merle mutter under her breath, “Uh-oh.” Before she could ask what was wrong, standing before them was a short woman with jet-black hair undisturbed by the breeze. She stood with her hands on her hips and her head tilted, a challenging grin on her face.

  “Well, it’s about fucking time. I was wondering why I hadn’t seen you and why you hadn’t called me.” The woman was clearly teasing, but the undercurrent to her words sounded a bit bullying. Hayley glanced at Merle and saw her mouth form a perfunctory smile very unlike her usual expression.

  “Oh, hi, Miley. Yeah, been pretty wrapped up in stuff. I had to get the house reorganized and find a new roommate.”

  She stood still, but Arthur, unusually for him, didn’t sit down but stood and crowded close to her thigh. Miley threw her arms around Merle, who raised her arms but only lightly grasped Miley’s shoulders and gave her a little pat on the back. Her unease was palpable.

  “Well, I forgive you this time, but don’t be such a stranger, okay?”

  “I’ll try. Miley, this is Hayley, my roommate.”

  “Oh well. Then I really forgive you.” Miley’s eyes widened and sparkled. She was attractive—sort of. She was well built, tanned, and fit looking. Up close, Hayley could see her hair was obviously tamed by gel. She exuded sexuality from the top of her shiny black head down to her Nike-shod feet.

  “Hi. I’m Miley.” She promptly wrapped Hayley up in a tight hug. After a moment, Hayley tried to pull back but she was trapped. She didn’t care for hugs from strangers, even nice-looking female ones, and Merle’s reaction to this woman had put her on guard.

  “Oh, Merle, baby. You scored.”

  “Miley.”

  “I’m just kidding. Nice to meet you, Hayley. Where’d you move from?”

  “Out in the Sunset, a couple blocks from the ocean.”

  “Way out in the boonies. Sheesh.”

  “Well, not that far. Nothing in SF is that far away from anything else.”

  “Guess so, but here you are now.” Miley showed a lot of teeth. The better to devour you with, my sweet popped into Hayley’s head.

  She looked at Merle, who nodded slightly, and said, “So good to meet you, Miley. We’re kind of on a schedule here. So we have to get our walk done.”

  “Well, all right. I gotta let you go.” She mimed putting a phone in her ear. “Call me!”

  “Sure. Bye.”

  Hayley said, “Nice to meet you.” But she didn’t flash the grin she was starting to think of as her flirt grin. They made their way over to the path and continued their hill climb.

  “I’ve got her number. If you want it.” Something about the way Merle said the second sentence made Hayley think Merle knew she most definitely didn’t want Miley’s number.

  “I’ll pass,” Hayley said with a slight edge.

  “No worries. I’m just making introductions. It’s all up to you.”

  “She seems to be into you.”

  “That would be a momentary state, I assure you. Miley’s into everybody. Sometimes literally.”

  “Very funny,” Hayley said, but she laughed anyhow. She liked Merle’s dry, understated humor. She delivered the punch line of her quips in such a deadpan voice, Hayley had to really listen.

  “Hey, Merle!” Hayley turned toward a voice behind them and saw a figure of indeterminate gender waving broadly at them.

  “Hi, Terry,” Merle called back with a tender quality to her voice Hayley hadn’t heard before.

  Terry held a thick leather leash, at the other end of which was a brindle pit bull who started to pace and leap when it saw Merle.

  “Oakley. Hey, dude.” She took the dog’s head in her hands, and Terry looked on fondly but didn’t release the leash.

  “Oh, and hello to you too, Ter.” They embraced.

  “How are you, honey?” Terry was dressed in a leather vest and extremely worn loose black jeans. She / he wore gloves with no fingers and had a chain looped from his / her belt to his / her back pocket. One side of his / her head was shaved, leaving just a thatch of thick brown hair flopped over one ear. She / he had a silver ring in his / her nose and some sort of tattoo beginning on his / her neck and likely extending down his / her arm.

  “I’m fine. Better every day.”

  “Kay’s gonna burn in hell,” Terry said fiercely. “She’s toast as far as I’m concerned.”

  Hayley watched Merle’s face and saw that now-familiar sadness wash over her features.

  “Hi, my name’s Hayley.” She extended her hand, and Terry’s mouth widened into a grin. She / he didn’t look exactly wolf-like but it was close. With the touch of his / her hand, face-to-face and at arm’s length, Hayley concluded she was female.

  “Helloooo. I’m Terry. Good to meet you.” She didn’t release Hayley’s hand right away. They stood there, connected, until Hayley grew slightly uncomfortable.

  “Hayley’s my new housemate. She just moved in last month.”

  Terry peered at her, eyes narrowed. “You don’t say.” She tilted her head back and continued to scrutinize Hayley, though she thankfully took her hand away.

  “You want to head up the hill with us?” They started walking again.

  Merle said, “Terry’s a professional dog trainer. I took a puppy training class with her when I first got Arthur.”

  “Oh, wow. You must be really good at it. Arthur’s such a nice dog.”

  “He is, but his training’s mostly due to Merle’s efforts. I gave her some pointers, got her started.”

  Oakley barked suddenly. It was unexpectedly loud and ended in sort of a squeal.

  Terry turned to him and hissed through her teeth. “Quiet!”

  He stopped barking.

  She ordered him to sit, and as soon as he sat down, she gave him something from a bag hanging on her belt. His giant jaws worked as he chewed his cookie. They resumed walking.

  “Oakley’s a special dog,” Merle said, smiling at him and then back at Hayley.

  “That’s one way to put it,” Terry said. Hayley sensed something behind both statements.

  “So what’s the story?” she asked, directing her attention specifically at Terry, though for some reason, she was hyper-aware that Merle’s attention was now focused on her. She appeared to be studying Hayley’s reaction to Terry.

  “Oh, man. It was really something. I work down at ACC and—”

  “What’s ACC?” Hayley asked.

  “Animal Care and Control. Basically, the pound, but we don’t call it that. ’Cause this is San Francisco, you know? It wouldn’t be PC. The animal-control officers brought him in one day and told us he’d been a drug dog.”

  “Like one who looks for stuff at the airport?”

  Terry’s expression turned bitter. “Nah. Like as in the dog who protects a dealer’s stash.”

  “Oh.”

  “Yeah. Fucking assholes. They try to make the dogs vicious by beating them. They ought to be castrated.”

  Hayley was shocked both by the story and by Terry’s vehemence, but she understood the emotion behind it. “So what happened?”

  “Yeah. So they didn’t think Oakley could make it. I mean as in being rehabbed and put up for adoption. But I thought I could do it. So I did. Mostly he’s okay. Just a little nervous and jumpy. Reactive.”

  “He’s a pit bull, right?” Hayley eyed the dog cautiously. They’d stopped once more to let the dogs sniff and explore. As Oakley’s large tongue slurped in and out
of his mouth, she thought of the news accounts she’d read about pit bulls mauling children.

  Terry looked at Oakley fondly and said, “Yeah. Pits get a bad rap. They’ve got incredibly strong jaws, but if you train them correctly, they’re fine. He’s not dangerous. Just a little touched in the head.” The three of them laughed then. The mood lightened up and Hayley was relieved.

  “So. You just moved in with Merle?”

  “Yeah. Not long ago. She’s helping me get the lay of the land.”

  Terry raised an eyebrow. “Really? Well, she’s darn smart but she don’t know everything. What do you want to know? I can probably tell you.”

  Hayley got it that she was being hit on and she liked it, though she wasn’t sure how she felt about the hitter. This would be the stereotypical dyke she’d heard about, that people looked down their noses at. She mentally shook off the dismay she felt at even thinking about Terry in that manner and decided to take the bait.

  “You think? Maybe I’ve got a question or two Merle doesn’t know the answer to.” And Hayley winked at Merle, who flicked both her eyebrows up and grinned amiably.

  “Well. I think I’ll run Arthur up to the top of the hill. I can meet up with you two in a little while.”

  “Don’t be in a hurry. That mutt of yours is getting fat. Better watch that,” Terry called to Merle as she went off at a half trot with Arthur loping beside her. Hayley watched them go and then turned back to Terry. She tried out a wide, flirtatious grin and asked, “Doesn’t your dog need to be walked as well?”

  Terry’s smirk deepened. Hayley really couldn’t decide if she liked what she saw or not, but she was talking to a lesbian who appeared interested in her, and she wanted to see where it led.

  “I think I like you already. Let’s go.” Terry pointedly took the opposite direction of Merle and Arthur.

  “So do you live in the neighborhood?” Hayley started with an easy question.