Requiem

by Jamie McGuire

  I sat on the arm of the couch. "He's going to get killed. Every day that he's out there, Claire is in danger. We should bring him home."

  "You're suggesting that we go to the Middle East and abscond with a member of the Special Forces?"

  I puffed. "It's not right that he's not here."

  "You're just letting the guilt eat you alive. You have to let it go, Nina. You have to let him go."

  "I know what you're thinking," I said. "This isn't about me having feelings for him. Maybe it is about guilt, but I can't stand it anymore...how Josh and Tucker and everyone else look at me. That's why I don't hang out with them, anymore. That's why I don't go to study group. I have been sleeping through the night for months, and I can't go back. The looks on their faces--they blame me."

  "You blame you," Jared said. "I have an idea," he said, pulling his cell phone from his pocket. He dialed numbers, and then held the receiver to his ear.

  After several moments, a grin touched his mouth. "Claire. How is everything? I see. I have someone here that would like to speak to you. You got a minute?"

  Jared handed me the phone. "Hello?" I said, unsure of her reaction.

  "It is hot as hell here," Claire snapped. "I have sand in places no woman should experience. It's in my hair, my eyes, the seat of my Jeep. There's no getting rid of it, even when I get the occasional shower. And my hair looks like crap. So...how are things?"

  I managed a quiet laugh. "I miss you."

  "I miss you, too," she sighed. "Don't worry, Nina. I'm taking care of him. He's a cowboy, and likes to pretend he's invincible, but despite his best efforts, I'm keeping him alive."

  "Thank you."

  I could hear the wind whipping against the phone, and she spoke loudly to compensate. I imagined her standing alone in a sea of sand, big sunglasses, and light camouflage clothes blending in with her platinum hair.

  "Ryan doesn't want you to feel guilty. He wants you to be happy. He's just trying to get on with his life. He's happy with his choice. Be happy with yours."

  "Of course I am. I just...everything feels wrong here. I feel lost."

  Claire laughed. "Try driving around with identical sand dunes as your guide...then you can talk to me about feeling lost. It's a good thing I'm fluent in Farsi, or I wouldn't be able to keep up with him. How's Jared?"

  I peeked up at him, his blue-grey eyes comforted that his idea had worked. "He's Jared. He's good."

  "I need you to take care of him for me, okay? I'm kicking ass over here, so you can rest easy. Just concentrate on school, and work, and being happy, and I'll get the cowboy home safe. Deal?"

  Relief washed over me. "Deal. See you soon?"

  "As soon as I can. Gotta go, they're moving," she said. The phone silenced, and I handed it to Jared.

  "He's okay," I said.

  Jared nodded. "Feel better?"

  "A little. Thank you."

  Jared took a step toward me and enveloped me in his arms, touching his forehead to mine. "I would do anything, go anywhere, suffer anything to make you happy. You know that, right? That's all I want."

  I lifted my chin to kiss his lips. "I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me."

  "You're exhausted. I'm going to run you a bath, and you can soak until your hands get all pruny, and I'll have dinner waiting for you when you get out. Then we can turn in early."

  I buried my face into his warm chest. "Sounds perfect."

  Chapter Five

  Landstuhl

  The first day of Summer Break, I took the day off from Titan, and Jared and I went to our Oak Tree. I lazily traced the details of the carving of our names, and let the sweet, summer air sweep over my skin. Lunch was served on the blanket he had given me as a graduation gift--before I knew him--and we playfully wrestled and chased each other barefoot in the grass.

  Jared was working overtime to prove to me that our lives could be as normal as anyone else. Even with the bad dreams keeping us apart at night, he had figured out how to get around them and made it seem that nothing was different.

  The air smelled of fresh grass and sunshine, and coupled with Jared's scent, it felt a little like Heaven. Summer soaked into my every pore, and I could see that Jared was enjoying my mood. He sat next to me, waiting for me to catch my breath from chasing him.

  "Having a better day?" he asked, running his finger lightly across my wrist.

  "Exponentially," I said, digging my toes into the grass. "I feel like I did at Little Corn."

  "Speaking of that...have you given any more thought to returning to that perfect little chapel we came across there?" Jared said the words casually, but he was fidgeting with the hem of his jeans.

  "Wedding date," I said, nodding. I should have seen the topic coming. Jared never broached anything important lightly, and always insisted on the perfect back drop. "Does Claire know when she's coming back?"

  "No," Jared said, frowning. The hem of his jeans seemed to be irritating him, but I knew it was the direction of our conversation.

  "We can't get married without Claire. I'm going to make her wear something hideous."

  "Already have your Bridesmaids picked out?" he said with a contrived smile.

  "Beth, Kim and Claire. What about your groomsmen? Can't exactly have Samuel and Eli stand in."

  "Sure I could. I don't think they would do it, but I could ask." I laughed, and his smile relaxed. "Bex, obviously. Maybe I could ask Ryan. It would help Claire."

  "Not funny," I said, ripping out a handful of grass, and then throwing it at him.

  He shrugged. "Nothing says I have to have as many as you."

  I had never considered that the small details of a wedding would be so difficult for him. He had siblings, and contacts within the system to make things easier, but no friends. Barely any family. His side of the church would be pitifully bare.

  "Maybe I'll just have Beth and Claire, and Bex can escort both of them," I said, hoping to relieve him of part of what he perceived as a problem.

  I had insisted for so long that our lives be as close to normal as a Hybrid and his Taleh could get, that Jared was bordering on obsession about giving that to me. I knew that if something were as important to him, I would be equally determined to make it happen, but I didn't want our wedding to be a source of disappointment; for either of us.

  His eyes turned soft. "You can have as many as you want, Sweetheart. I'll figure it out," he said, leaning toward me. His lips touched my cheek bone lightly, and then brushed along the edge of my jaw line.

  His touch had always had an immediate effect on me, but being alone, shaded from the summer sun by our Oak Tree, I lost all in inhibitions. I pulled his mouth to mine and returned his kiss, letting him know by the way my tongue eagerly danced with his. I let myself fall slowly against the blanket, and held his shoulders, bringing him with me. His lips planted tiny kisses from my ear to my collar bone, and I melted against the ground, feeling wonderfully overwhelmed. His mouth was so warm, and every time his lips lifted away from my skin, little goose bumps formed in reaction to the sudden change in temperature.

  My fingers reached up the underside of his shirt, feeling the lean muscles of his back under his tan skin. His attraction to me had always confused me, but I was never ungrateful. There was no doubt that I was lucky. Jared being so close made that fact all too real.

  I lifted his shirt over his head, and watched as his muscles stretched with each movement. A smile broke out across my face, and his expression mirrored mine, his senses tuning into my emotions, giving me away.

  "Have I told you today how incredibly beautiful you are?" he asked, his nose tracing a line from my chin to my nose, where he stopped to kiss me. "If I haven't, I deeply apologize. That's something that should be recognized on a daily basis." He easily unfastened the first button of my blouse, moving to the second.

  "You can say it however often you like, as long as you're doing that while you're saying it," I smiled.

  His cell phone rang, and we both sighed.
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br />   "Of course," I said.

  He rolled his eyes. "It's Claire."

  "Old habits die hard."

  He flipped it open. "Ryel."

  A stream of words I couldn't understand blurred in different tones. Jared's expression caused me to panic.

  "Okay. We're headed to the airport, now."

  "The airport?" I said, watching Jared dial again.

  "I need to charter a jet to Ramstein. No, not Frankfurt-Hahn. Yes, the Air force Base. It's the closest airport to Landstuhl. I'll take care of it, Frank, just get it done."

  "We're going to Germany?" I said in disbelief. "What's going on?"

  Jared ignored me, dialing again. He spoke in German this time. The only thing I understood was Landstuhl. It was the largest military hospital outside the United States, near Ramstein, Germany. The hospital was mentioned in the news frequently because the majority of wounded soldiers from Iraq and Afghanistan were flown there.

  In that moment of understanding, I shoved all of our things into the backpack, frantically pulling on my motorcycle helmet. Jared immediately climbed onto his bike, and I jumped on behind him, gripping his jacket as he took off at full speed.

  Everything I had feared since the moment I learned of Ryan's decision to join the Army had happened: Ryan had been injured, and Claire was alone, waiting to die.

  We stopped at the loft long enough to grab money and passports, but we left everything else behind. Jared was quiet, and the way he was rushing to get to the airport made me fear the worst. He led me through the terminal so quickly that I had to jog to keep up with his long strides.

  The plane was ready and waiting when we walked onto the tarmac, escorted by only a handful of the jet's employees. Jared spoke quick instructions to the pilot, and then we rushed up the stairs, barely greeting the flight attendant as we passed.

  Jared didn't speak during takeoff. His fingers were on his lips as his mind processed the situation, and the consequences. I left him alone with his thoughts. Just as worried as he was, I wondered about calling Beth, or Kim, or even Josh. Telling them what I knew would only welcome questions, and explaining how I knew before Ryan's mother, or his best friends would be far beyond my lying capabilites.

  Two hours into the flight, I fought with my eye lids to stay open. After the fourth time of jerking myself awake, I finally broke the silence. "This is ridiculous. How could I possible be sleepy right now?"

  "Maybe you should try to sleep," Jared said without looking at me.

  I nodded, settling into my seat. My leg jerked, and my eyes popped open again.

  "Dreaming?" Jared asked with an amused smile.

  "I think I was riding a bike to Germany," I mumbled, leaning against his shoulder.

  Sinking back into oblivion, my breaths grew even. It didn't take long to let the airplane noise fade into the background.

  The lights were dim in the fuselage. My eyes were blurry, and with the poor light, it was hard to focus. Jared had left his seat. I wondered how long we had been en route, and looked behind me to the restrooms.

  "Jared?" I called back.

  Nothing.

  I stumbled to the back of the plane, and knocked on the lavatory door. When he didn't answer, I opened it.

  Empty.

  My eyes strained to see in the darkness, but I could vaguely make out the top of Jared's head. He was back in his seat, patiently waiting for me.

  "Thirty-thousand feet in the air with nowhere to hide and you still keep me guessing," I said, falling into my chair.

  But it wasn't Jared. Sitting next to me was Gabe Ryel.

  I recoiled, the arm rest digging into my back as I leaned away from him. "What are you doing here?"

  "It's been a while, Nina."

  "I'm dreaming, aren't I?" I said, perturbed. Knowing Gabe was behind my sleepless nights and the reason why Jared could no longer be within two blocks while I slept mustered up suppressed resentment, resulting in a bit more guts than I usually had.

  "Talk Jared into turning back, Nina. We don't have time for this."

  "Time for what? Why do you insist on being so theatrical? Just tell me what we need to do and we'll do it."

  Gabe didn't react. "Turn back, Nina."

  His eyes were black again. It made me more than just uncomfortable. His ice-blue eyes replaced by glass balls in his sockets was downright disturbing.

  "No. Claire needs us."

  Gabe didn't react to my insolence. He simply looked down at his intertwined fingers sitting atop his lap. He wore an expensive suit, the same I remembered when seeing him shadow my father, but his fingers were dirty and worn, as if he'd been digging in soil.

  "Find the book."

  "How? Jared has talked to Eli, Samuel...no one will tell us anything!"

  "This fight is not Jared's. It's yours."

  "Great. More riddles," I said, crossing my arms. My muscles relaxed, thinking about the situation at hand. I looked to Gabe. Even with his shark eyes, he was still someone from my childhood that I loved. "Is Claire going to die?"

  The plane hit turbulence, and a bit of bouncing evolved into what felt like a several-hundred-foot drop. As I gripped the arm rest, Gabe turned to me once again.

  "Listen."

  "I can't listen if there's nothing to hear!"

  "Listen," he repeated.

  The plane fell again, causing the overhead storage bins to vomit various items, and the already dim lights flickered violently until they surrendered, and the fuselage turned dark.

  I jerked awake, and Jared sat where Gabe had been. The lights were on, and the floors were clear of debris.

  "It's you," I said, relieved.

  "Yes," he said with a confused smile, "who did you think it would be?"

  After a short pause, I shook my head. "No one. Just forgot where I was for a second."

  Jared nodded, and then rested his hand on my knee. "We'll be there in two hours."

  He spent the remainder of our flight on his cell phone. He made arrangements for a car to pick us up at the airport, and for a friend, Colonel Jason Brand to meet us at Landstuhl with visitor identification.

  Upon arrival, the pace accelerated. The second the plane came to a stop, Jared had the few things we brought with us in hand, and he held out my jacket.

  "It's chilly," he said, helping me twist into the sleeves.

  Descending the stairs of the plane, it was clear why Jared had to make so many phone calls. Pilots walked to and from their jets, crew chiefs were parking and marshelling out jets, while others were busy with flight inspections. Jet engines screamed as they prepared for takeoff.

  We had landed at Ramstein air base. Jared's connections spanned farther than I had imagined.

  We rushed off the tarmac to the waiting car. The driver was a stranger to me. He spoke fluent German to Jared, so I was unsure if he was just a local or someone Jared had met before. He looked about Jared's age. Light blonde hair peeked from his dark green ball cap, but his eyes were hidden behind dark sunglasses.

  "Warum gehen Sie nach Landstuhl?" the driver said.

  "Claire's Taleh ist verletzt worden," Jared said.

  The driver's eyebrows pulled in. He was a friend. Jared mentioning Claire's Taleh could even mean that he was a Hybrid, and by the features I could see, he was.

  "Gutes Gluck zu Ihnen, Freund," he said, shaking his head.

  "Danke," Jared frowned. He leaned toward me, then. "He was asking why we're here. I told him, and he wished us luck," he whispered against my cheek.

  Nodding, I hugged Jared's arm to me. Landstuhl was just three miles from the West Gate of the base. The soldier guarding the gate seemed to know the driver, and after checking out his identification, let us through quickly.

  An officer in a blue decorated dress uniform waited at the front entrance of the hospital.

  "Colonel," Jared said, shaking his hand. He was definitely not a hybrid, with his dark hair and eyes. "Nina, this is Colonel Jason Brand," he said.

  I shook his hand.
"Thank you," I said.

  "Not at all. Claire's pretty famous around here. We've all trained with her at some point," Jason said with a small grin. "Jared, we've got good news coming from the surgeon," he said as we followed him inside. His voice was firm and no-nonsense. It reminded me of the way my father spoke. "Claire is in the waiting room on the third floor. They know you're coming."

  Jared nodded. He kept me by his side as we walked to the elevator. The space was quiet, and despite Jason's positive comment earlier, Jared was on-edge. He rubbed his thumb compulsively against the top of my hand as he held it a bit too tight in his.

  "What can I do," I asked, touching his arm with my free hand.

  One corner of Jared's mouth turned up in an appreciative half-smile. "You're here with me. That's all I need."

  The door opened to a bustling hallway. The walls were devoid of anything but white paint, and the halls were full of equipment and people. Medical personnel attended to the wounded wearing either utility attire or green scrubs. Soldiers past by in wheelchairs, accompanied by their attentive wives or mothers. A few were trying on their new prosthesis and learning to walk again.

  My stomach instantly felt sick, wondering what was waiting for us in Ryan's room.

  Jared pushed through a set of double doors and stopped. Claire, tiny and alone, stood at the end of the hall. She was looking down an adjacent hall, but the second she felt Jared's presence, she slowly turned to face him. His stoic disposition deteriorated as he looked into the eyes of his little sister, and a small sound escaped from his throat.

  Claire ran down the hall at full speed, and crashed into Jared, wrapping her arms around him. She had run so hard, and hit him with such force, it made a clapping sound that echoed through the halls as if a door had slammed. Even with Claire's incredible strength, Jared didn't budge. He lifted her off the floor, taking her into his long arms and squeezed her tightly.

  "You didn't have to come, stupid!" she said. Her voice was muffled against Jared's shoulder. When she pulled back to look at him, tears blurred her round, ice-blue eyes. "But, I'm glad you came."

  She reached for me, and hooked her arm around my neck, adding me to their embrace. We stood there in silence for a long while, knowing once we let go, reality would set in.

  Time was not on our side, and too quickly the reunion was over. We walked to the waiting room, dazed and emotionally exhausted. Jared sat beside me on the sofa, and Claire took a chair adjacent to us.