A Fine Necromance

by Lidiya Foxglove

  “Shut up. I’m being wistful about you.”

  Yumi… Larius reached for the tiny ninja. Admittedly, you couldn’t really hug in Fortune’s Favor, so my dark mage looked pretty ridiculous thrusting his arms out toward her.

  i miss firia too. <3 <3

  “Oh, you talk in hearts now?” I asked Alec.

  “Yumi talks in hearts. It’s role playing.”

  “Should I be disturbed that you’re so in tune with a girly ninja?”

  “Only if I should be disturbed that you’re a broody man in a cloak with skulls on your shoulders.”

  We adventured together for so long, I typed. but I know I’ll free her from the curse.

  in the meantime…i could ease your burdens.

  It’s…not easy for me…to touch as you do. I was trained in the ways of killing, not love. But Yumi…if I am being honest, my cock does hunger for attention.

  Alec looked at me and slowly licked his lips.

  “Stop…” I started giggling.

  “I thought you were trying to find Fortune’s Wheel and unlock your omega forms,” Firian said.

  “We will.”

  “I would focus on that first,” Firian said. “I would love to see what Firia’s omega form is.”

  “Yeah,” I said, a little absently, as I chatted with Alec. Then I caught myself. I mean, Firian had no choice but to play spectator both as a boyfriend and my long-term gaming partner. Firian would have been all about this year’s new feature, omega forms, where you could evolve your character to unlock a super-powered form for short increments. Plus, one out of every hundred characters was a Chou-Omega with a sparkly omega form, and unless you unlocked yours, you didn’t know if you were blessed by the algorithm gods.

  Nah, we were just dicking around instead. I was being a jerk. “Alec, we can find that sand crystal we need in the desert too.”

  Some elven swordsman had just waltzed up to Alec’s girl and started chatting with us.

  hey u know where to fight lord quron

  u hot?

  we could team up

  hey u a girl? u hot?

  “Do we know this dude?”

  “No,” Firian said. “But maybe he’s a cue that you should just go to sleep.”

  “It’s autumn break,” I said.

  “Autumn break? So you get one extra day off for Halloween,” he said. “You still have studies to work on. Need I remind you that you’re training to be demon slayers?”

  “If you had hands, you would be telling me I’m wimpy for going to bed at 1 am on a Friday night.”

  “Yes,” he said. “But I don’t have hands and now I see the futility of this game and all human existence.”

  “Do you want me to play Firia and try to unlock her omega form?”

  “As much as I miss seeing her hot elven ass…no.” He watched me brush off the other player. “Maybe it’s Montague trying to hook up with you via the game. Are you still with him? I never see him around.”

  “We’re still together,” I said, but I had noticed Montague seemed preoccupied since the failed purification. I hadn’t worried about it, because we were all busy with studies, and he still kissed me and there was a hot rendezvous in the third floor library records room one day, but come to think of it, I had four rings from Alec on my hands and none from Montague this whole week.

  Hmm.

  Is it starting to happen? Is he drifting toward his sire?

  Alec yawned. “C’mere, Firian. I’ll scratch your head.”

  “You can’t just buy me off like that. I don’t need your head scratches.”

  Alec finished his cup of coffee, put his head in his hand, gave Firian a look that managed to be both sleepy and vaguely sultry while not being inappropriately so. He lifted a hand and waved his fingers slightly. “Firian. Life’s too short.”

  “He’s incubusing me,” Firian said with a little huff.

  “I’m incubuying you off,” Alec said.

  “Oh, god, it’s too soon to work on your dad jokes.” I blocked the random dude. There is a cave…a private cave…off by those cliffs, with treasures within, I told Alec’s ninja girl avatar. Sand crystals…and more.

  I would like you to explore the cave and find the treasure within it. Alec looked up at me and pumped his finger in his coiled opposite hand.

  “You kids could just have sex for real,” Firian said.

  “But then you would leave,” Alec said, as Firian quietly moved over to him to accept his head scratches with a resigned expression. “I know you don’t really like spending your whole life in Etherium.”

  “Don’t be nice to me,” Firian growled. “Grumpiness is the only shield I have.”

  Alec just kept scratching his ears. Firian melted a little. I melted more. I had to resist mentioning how cute they were together because I understood why this would piss Firian off. If I got turned into like, a kitten, and instead of having a romantic and sex life I just got ear scratches, I would be infuriated.

  And I missed my Firian. The real Firian.

  But still.

  Outside, I heard a car door shut and I jumped off the bed. So did Alec. Cars came rarely. In the middle of the night?

  We looked out the window. Daisy stepped out of the car. Piers rushed out to meet her and take her bags from the chauffeur. He was talking to Daisy while she stood stiffly with her arms crossed. He waved her forward toward the path to his house, which used to be Master Blair’s house. She stayed put. He walked closer to her and said something that finally made her budge, but I could see that she didn’t really want to go off alone with him.

  “I need to see if Daisy’s okay.”

  “And attract Piers’ attention?” Alec said. “I’m sure Daisy can take care of herself… She’s a powerful witch.”

  “Daisy looks scared.” I snatched my coat. Alec followed, of course, but I outran him. I hadn’t heard from Daisy all summer and I was so worried Piers could hurt her. I definitely wouldn’t want to be engaged to him, especially after what Harris said about how he wanted to marry Daisy years ago.

  I was gasping from running by the time I reached the house. I couldn’t make in time before he got her in the house, but lights glowed from the parlor window. I pulled on the old doorbell and it made a solid clang.

  I heard voices inside. Piers sounded like he wanted to ignore me. Daisy flung open the door, a little breathless herself.

  “Girl, hey!” she gasped, throwing on a smile that looked fake as hell. “You’re awake?”

  “Yeah! Studying late, you know.” I gave her a hug. “I saw you come in.”

  “It’s late, I know. Traffic back in Indianapolis on the way, and then roadwork…” As always, Daisy looked hot and put together. She was wearing a pink coat dress and black boots with blingy, jeweled earrings. She also had dark circles under her eyes and couldn’t quite hide her fear. When I pulled back from the hug, she clutched my arm a little before letting go.

  “Are you two close?” Piers asked, coming up behind her, dressed in a three piece suit at one o’clock in the morning.

  “Yeah,” Daisy said, turning her fake smile to him. “Charlotte’s crew and me, yeah, we’re tight. I’d do anything for this girl. Anything.”

  This sounded like a cry for help. “Same,” I said, and Daisy’s eyes darted ever so briefly to me.

  “Oh, well…I’m glad you already have a friend here,” Piers said coolly.

  “What are y’all up to now?” I asked. “Are you attending school?”

  “No,” Piers said. “Daisy is done with her education now. She will stay in guest housing until we marry in the summer.”

  “So you’re just chilling?” I asked Daisy.

  “I wish,” she whispered.

  “I have some business for her,” Piers said. “She will be the diviner soon, and those abilities are needed now. But…you will see her around, I’m sure.” He put a hand on Daisy’s shoulder.

  “We could escort her to guest housing,” Alec said behind me. “It
’s late. I’m sure she needs some sleep. And you aren’t married yet; man, wouldn’t want rumors getting back to an old-fashioned witch like Madame Pendleton.”

  Piers dropped the hand from Daisy’s shoulder and I saw her tiny shudder of relief. “Then, we shall talk in the morning, my dear, and for now, I’ll dream of you,” he said, taking her hand and kissing it.

  I grabbed Daisy’s hand and got her away from him as fast as I could.

  “That was so close,” Daisy said, as soon as he shut the door behind us. “Feel my arm. I am like head to toe do-not-even-touch-me goosebumps. Did you hear this story, Char? Did you hear this shit? He just swooped in on my grandmother and promised all this stuff to her about how he would take care of me and love me forever and ensure that my duties were not ‘painful’ and she believed every word of it. She’s old enough to get played. I bet if my mom was still around she’d be smarter than that. But Grandmother just wants—you know.” She swallowed. “She’s worried about me. I don’t even know what I’ll do. I’m—I’m—” She started sniffing a little and took a deep breath. “Oh god. I’m sorry.”

  “It’s okay,” I said. “I don’t blame you for freaking out.” I looked back at the house. The downstairs light was off now, replaced by an upstairs light, and just the thought of Piers going to bed thinking about Daisy made me want to punch him in the face. “But—don’t worry. We have a lot of plans in motion.”

  “Yeah?”

  “We’re starting to figure out that there have been warlocks here with a connection to Wyrd since Merlin College began,” I said.

  “Wyrd? You mean the so-called Third Realm? I thought that was a legend.”

  “I guess we need to back up,” Alec said. “Wyrd is real. It’s been controlled by the faeries. And Professor Jablonsky is a faery lord from Wyrd. He says we might be able to get an in. And if we did…”

  “What?” Daisy said.

  “We’re not beholden to the council anymore,” Alec said. “They can’t threaten us with banishment to Sinistral if we break the rules.”

  “Oh.”

  “I met the ghost of a guy who used to talk to the faeries,” I said. “And I’m getting better at talking to the dead. Stuart says the faeries are antisocial, but that if we defeat the Withered Lord, they might give us an audience. He says they’re dying out because they’ve stayed secret, so at some point they talk to us or they die.”

  “So that’s your plan,” Daisy said. “I mean—that’s awesome. That’s great for you. You can do your own thing and—”

  “Witches can learn warlock magic,” I said. “We can smash the patriarchy and make our own rules and stuff.” She didn’t seem enthused and I started to feel stupid. “I mean—I know. It sounds naive, but Stuart believes in it, and so did Master Blair and Samuel, and my mom, so it’s not just me getting caught up in a college thing. They’re old. There must be something to it, or they wouldn’t pursue the goal for fifty years.”

  “It’s not that,” Daisy said. “It’s just…even if what you say is true, it won’t matter for me. I have the blood of the diviners. Everyone wants that power and I can’t not have it. Ethereals, Sinistrals, Wyrd…people. They’re all going to want it, because the great diviners are the ones who can see where the battle should be fought. Where the parallels and gateways still exist, where the enemy is hiding. Everyone needs me. Piers is ready to use me already. It’s even worse than I thought, ‘cause Grandmother is still alive and he’s already putting me to work. What can I say? I don’t see any way out. I thought my only chance was to go off with someone totally rogue like those vampires, but it seems that Harris is right. Cash would die. So that’s—not an option. I feel so stuck, Charlotte. I’m so scared. I never wanted this. It’s finally here. I can’t talk my way out of it. People say having power is great? No. It’s not. It makes you powerless. Everyone wants you. I could have gold, diamonds, servants, whatever, but I don’t get any freedom. None. Never.”

  I could see that Daisy needed a serious intervention.

  “You will get freedom,” I said. “There is a way out of this and it doesn’t have to be with the vampires. Just because you can’t see it yet doesn’t mean it’s not there. We’re going to make it happen, okay? What would people on Bravo do?”

  “People on Bravo don’t take shit.”

  “Would drag queens and real housewives put up with this?”

  “Being a sassy bitch is pretty much all that happens on Bravo,” Daisy said, nodding.

  “Exactly. You’re the sassiest bitch I’ve ever met. And we’re all here together. Deep breath.”

  Harris and Montague were running toward us at this point.

  “Daisy?” Harris said. “Did Piers hurt you?”

  She was finishing her deep breath. “No. He didn’t. And he won’t. My girl Charlotte talked me down, and I’m going to assist you in whatever phase two of this plan is.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  Charlotte

  Halloween—or Samhain—was one of the best parties of the year at Merlin College, along with being a sacred day. It was a mashup of the Halloween I knew and a pagan holiday, and most of the warlocks, no matter whether they followed other religions or not, joined in. Around here, the idea of the veil between the living and the dead being thin on Halloween wasn’t legend, but fact.

  Everyone wore costumes, some of them very elaborate, including masks, which were required. Many of them were glamours, of course. I knew for a fact that Alec’s costume, which was some sort of dark horned creature in black leather, was seriously enhanced from a Party City costume called “Demon Beast”. Montague went with an 18th century nobleman with a tricorn hat and black mask.

  “You look terrifying,” I told Alec.

  “If we don’t look terrifying, the faeries will kidnap us,” Alec said. “At least, that’s what I was told. And if you aren’t careful, we might kidnap you. I know you’re still into it.” He brushed a claw over my face.

  “I’m still into it,” I admitted.

  Harris wore the same thing every year, a black mask and a costume that he said his great-great-great uncle used to wear in Samhain balls in Austria, that was basically a Disney prince outfit with gold buttons, a sash and some kind of brimmed Germanic hat.

  As usual, I didn’t have money to spend on a Halloween costume so I went with Kiki’s Delivery Service with the black dress I already had and a big red bow in my hair, carrying a stuffed black cat under my arm. I put on my basic black mask to conform to the rules.

  “It’s time to guess what Charlotte is supposed to be,” Montague said.

  “It looks like she’s a witch,” Harris said. “Black dress. Cat.”

  “I’m a particular witch,” I said.

  “A swamp witch.”

  “Why would I be a swamp witch!?”

  “Because they’re poor.”

  I cast a spell that blew all the buttons off his jacket.

  “What was that for?” he snapped, bending over to grab them off the floor.

  “For wearing a dumb hat.”

  “I think you look adorable,” Alec said. “Not you, Harris. Charlotte.”

  “Alec, do you know what my costume is?” I asked.

  Alec looked me over. “You’re not supposed to be Minnie Mouse, are you?”

  “I think it’s a character from Adventure Time,” Montague said.

  I let out a breath. “Wow. Just—wow.”

  Daisy burst into our dorm’s main room. She was dressed as a Queen of Hearts wearing a red, white and black dress with a low cut neckline that showed off her boobs, and a full flouncing skirt. Harris was right. I did look poor, and was, indeed, poor.

  “I am gluing myself to you and sharing your bonfire,” she declared, looking over her shoulder. “Twenty-four hours with Piers is already too much. He had a private dinner for us and he wanted to make offerings to the dead ancestors. I just got to hear about every Nicolescu who ever killed a vampire for the last three hours.”

  “Yes, he’s very pr
oud of that,” Harris said.

  “Of course you can hang out with us,” I said. “But he didn’t try anything, right?” I couldn’t help looking at her breasts. They were really getting shown off the maximum advantage.

  “I wish it was just that,” Daisy said. “I can handle that.”

  “So…he’s just boring? At least it could be worse.”

  “Boring…,” she repeated. “That’s enough of a sin. But I swear, you’re looking at my boobs more than he did.”

  “They’re impressive, what can I say.”

  “You want him to look at your boobs?” Harris asked sharply.

  “I sure as hell don’t want him to touch,” she said. “But I wanted to know that he has weaknesses. If he thinks I’m hot, I can manipulate him.” As Harris looked like he was about to argue this more, she put a hand around my shoulder and showed me out the door with her.

  The campus was lit with small fires, like the night when we summoned the dead, and it was hopping. Everyone was out walking around, talking to friends, putting our pumpkins carved earlier, and sacrificing snacks and desserts to their fires to appease the spirits.

  “Piers wants to have his name written in history like those other Nicolescus,” Daisy said. “He went on and on about slaying demons and vampires for the whole dinner. A dude with a holy mission…ugh. So if I were you, I would really watch out for him with your boys.”

  “Oh, I already know that,” I said. “Is that really all he talked about for three hours?”

  “Well, he told me the entire plot of the novel he’s reading.”

  “Oh no.”

  “Right?” She shuddered. “Well, let’s not think about him. I don’t need him. All the men in the family have tiny dicks.”

  “Oh—really?”

  She burst out laughing. “Look at your face! You were so scared Harris has a microdick. Like you don’t get enough d, girl. Sometimes less is more when you already have so much more.”

  My blush must have been maxed out. “I don’t care.”

  She patted my back. “Nah, Harris’ bad attitude can’t be explained off that way,” she said.

  “Whatever.” I shrugged.