by Miley Maine
This all combined to not put me in the most talkative or sociable moods, so I had given my staff the whole day off. That was why I was surprised to see Emma standing in front of my house, looking nervous as anything.
She was clutching at her arms, and as I parked I could see that she was visibly shaking.
What had she come here for and why on this day, of all days?
Yesterday would have been better. Tomorrow even. But today? Today was a hard day.
“Vincent,” she said, rushing over to me once I had gotten out of my car. “I’m glad you’re here, I was just about to leave.”
“And why are you here?” I knew that I shouldn’t have talked to her in the tone, but I had just been hoping to have some time to myself when I got back from the cemetery.
She looked shocked and took a tentative step forward, reaching out to me as if I might bolt or bite at any moment. “Vincent, are you okay?”
“No, Emma, I’m not okay. In fact, I don’t know if I have been okay for a while, or will be okay, ever.”
“What’s going on?”
I no longer cared about her reason for coming to see me. All that I wanted was to get this over with. I needed to be honest with her about how I felt, about how things were going. I didn’t know if I could continue this for much longer.
I mean, perhaps it was just the situation. I had been so happy with her a few days ago, but then this visit had brought things back to reality for me.
“What do you think is going on Emma? Come on, wrack your brain.” I could feel tears welling up in my eyes just at the thought of what I was about to say. “It’s the grief. It’s still there, and it’s a lot, and I haven’t worked through it yet.”
“I told you, we could work through it together.”
“There is no we in this situation. This is my grief, this is my burden. You have no idea what I’ve gone through. What I’m still going through.”
The look on her face was shocked, taken aback even.
“I still love her. I still love her so much and I miss her. I miss her too much. Too much I think, to leave room...any room for loving you. I don’t know if things will work out because...because I don’t know if I can love you.”
She looked as if she was about to cry and wrapped her arms around herself tightly.
“Vincent.” My name was little more than a whimper on her lips, a plea for some mercy.
Then she took several deep breaths and the sadness on her face turned to anger.
“I’ve really tried for you, I’ve given you space and time. You were the one who started things, who moved on from friends, remember that. I wanted things to work, but clearly they’re not going to. Things are over now. Rebecca was right. I’m not coming back, so don’t try to come find me.
She stormed off, got into her car, and turned the key in the ignition. In the heat of her anger, the car seemed to roar to life and she sped off.
I was left standing all alone in my driveway, with a haunted feeling in my chest, as if something was very very wrong.
Chapter Nineteen
Emma
Several days passed. I spent those days crying and wishing that it really was one of my romance books so that Vincent would disregard what I had said and come back to tell me that he was sorry and sweep me up into his arms.
Of course, that was all foolish and I knew it. But that didn’t mean that I didn’t pine after it, and him.
I told Rebecca what had happened, but I didn’t tell her about the pregnancy or why I had been at his house that day.
I knew that it was making me emotional, so I took a few days off teaching so that my students wouldn’t have to see me in the state that I was in.
I was hoping that those few days would give me the time I needed to calm down and collect myself. With no interruptions, I may have been able to do it, but instead my worst nightmare came to reality.
That last night of my short break off teaching, there was a knock on the door. Thinking that it was Rebecca come to check on me or maybe one of my neighbors, I didn't even check the peephole before opening it.
That was my first mistake.
My second was not slamming it immediately and calling the police, or somebody, the moment I saw his face.
Luke Beatricks.
My ex. And a rather bad ex to have.
Over the course of our relationship, he had abused and manipulated me. Physically. Sexually. Verbally. Emotionally. It had all started off slow, but the moment that I was in his clutches things escalated. It took a lot to get me out of that one, and I was still mentally recovering from all of it.
It was one of the reasons that I had moved down to Florida. Florida was far away from Luke. And it was one of the places that he would never expect me to go.
I had been careful to keep low, to make sure that my identity and my address were well protected. I had taken so many precautions, and yet it all appeared to be for naught.
He had talked his way out of court the first time I put him there, so I hadn’t even been able to get a long-lasting restraining order. The one I had got expired long ago and so now that he knew where I lived, he wasn’t doing anything illegal by being near me.
My heart quaked in my chest, and my hands shook as he shoved his boot in the door before I could shut it.
“Long time no see, darlin’,” he said in that western drawl of his. “Hope you’ve been well. Though, I guess I don’t have to hope that. The information that I’ve gathered says you’ve been doing very well indeed.”
“How did you find me?” I asked, still trying to shut the door. But he was strong and he easily shoved it open and shouldered his way in before closing it behind him.
“Now now, no need to get so worked up,” he said with a grin. “I’m not going to hurt you.”
“The past says otherwise.”
He shrugged. “Perhaps, but the past is the past. You know I’ve always loved you.”
“You love no one but yourself.”
“That’s not true darlin’, and you know it. I’ve always loved you. Why else would I have been watching you?”
“You’ve been watching me?” I knew I was shaking now. I couldn’t help it. I was frightened. All the memories from our past were resurfacing and they were enough to send me into a panic. More than enough.
“Of course baby, I had to make sure you were safe.”
“No you didn’t. I told you to stay away from me, loud and clear.”
He smirked, picking up the book I had been reading, then saying in a mocking voice, “Don’t come for me Ben! We’re done.” Then he skipped through the book more. “And oh look, he didn’t listen...because he loves her and now they’re getting back together. I thought this was what you liked, Emma.”
“Not from you. And that’s not what that book is about.” I was slowly backing away from him, but I knew there was only so much apartment. I was wracking my brain for something, anything that I might use as a weapon to defend myself.
I knew how these kinds of things ended. I had read about them too, and it usually wasn’t good. Especially because Luke was stronger than me. Much stronger. Even if I had some type of weapon, I doubted I would be able to do much damage. He could overpower me in an instant if he wanted to and he would the moment he saw my intentions were to fight him.
“Isn’t it though? The guy loves the girl so much he’s down to do anything just to be with her.” He was almost upon me now. I could feel his breath against my skin. It stung. “I want to reconcile. I want to try things again Emma. I promise that I’ll be better this time.”
“No, no.” I shook my head. “I don’t want that and you know it. I can’t do that, not now, not ever. It’s not going to happen.”
He cocked his head, looking at me with a sick grin. “Oh? I think you’ll change your mind soon. You’ll see that I really am the only one, the best one for you.”
He gave me one more look over, then turned to leave. But before he did, he looked over his shoulder to say, �
�I’ll be back for you, Emma. I promise that. And you’ll see that I don’t break my promises.”
And then he was gone. I slumped to the floor in relief. I couldn’t believe it, everything that had happened. I wanted to cry so bad, I just didn’t know what to do. Who could I turn to in this type of situation?
The police hadn’t done much last time and I doubted that they would take me seriously. I didn’t want anyone else to worry or get hurt through collateral. And Vincent was out of the picture now, even as just a friend.
I had no one. Nobody. No one but myself and the child that was developing inside of me. And if I knew one thing, it was that I had to keep my child safe. I couldn’t bear anything happening to them.
Over the next couple of days, Luke called me several times and left some threatening voicemails. I would block one number and then another would show up. So instead I just got in the habit of keeping my phone turned off, especially when I was at school. I didn’t dare answer it. I was too frightened. I didn’t want to give Luke any reason to believe that I was interested in any way.
Knowing him, he would probably even take a hostile phone conversation as such.
The phone calls finally culminated in another visit from Luke.
This time I didn’t open the door when he knocked, just prepared myself with a knife in the corner and my thumb ready to press 911.
I thought that he would go away after the knocking wasn’t answered. After all, my car wasn’t in its usual place, and all of the lights in my apartment were off. But, much to my fright, there was a clicking as Luke tried to open my door.
He must have picked the lock, for it finally swung open. I was shaking so much that I dropped my phone, and before I could grab it again, Luke kicked it across the room.
“You little bitch,” he snarled, grabbing my wrist and squeezing so tight that I dropped the knife.
“What did you think that would do, huh? Were you going to stab me with that? I think not.” He reached down and took hold of the knife with his other hand, and then waved it in front of my face menacingly.
“I was only trying to protect myself.” At this point, tears were streaming down my face and I wondered if I was ever going to get out of this one alive. “Please, I was only trying to protect myself.”
“You don’t have to protect yourself from me, little darlin’,” he said, smiling as he trailed his knife along my cheek, drawing blood. I sobbed as it trickled down my face and then he put the knife down.
“I’m never going to hurt you, baby,” he said, kissing me along the cut and making it sting. “I’ll protect you. I’ll protect you.”
I tried to calm down, but the tears were coming harder than ever now.
“You know,” he said, making me freeze up at the sound of his voice. “I think I know why you won’t respond to me, why you won’t be with me.”
I looked up at him with fear, sure that he was going to do something to me again. What reason could he possibly think of?
“It’s because of the Vincent Eldrige character, isn’t it? You’re after his money. Tell you what, I’ll give you all the money in the world if you come back to me.”
“No,” I shook my head. “I’m not with Vincent and I don’t want to be with you.”
“Lies, both of them,” he said, slapping me across the face. I cried out, curling around myself, sure that there were more blows to come. It started with one, but it never ended that way.
“Tell you what,” he leaned down to whisper in my ear. “I’ll give you a chance to prove to me that you really don’t want to be with me and that you’re going to be Vincent’s from now on. All that I ask is that you get me one hundred thousand dollars within the week. Should be easy now that you’re dating him, right?”
“I told you, I’m not with him anymore,” I said, still curled around myself. I needed to protect my stomach. That was where the baby was. If Luke knew, he would hurt me badly enough to kill it. He wouldn’t be able to bear the thought of another man’s child in me.
“Then what’s keeping you back from me, huh? If you get me the money within the week, then I’ll both leave you alone and I won’t tell him that you’re still legally married to me. It’ll remain our little secret.”
He leaned down to press another soft kiss to my cheek. It made me want to vomit. I couldn’t stand him touching me. Not like that. Not ever.
It was true. We had never legally gotten a divorce, though I had tried. It had been too much, too traumatizing, and it had allowed Luke too close to me for comfort.
But in all other eyes but that of the law, we were no longer together.
“Goodbye, my beautiful wife. I’ll see you soon. And then, I’ll take what’s mine,” Luke said and then left my apartment. It took me several minutes to get up the courage to stand up and go lock the door behind him as he had left it open, letting a cool breeze infiltrate the air.
I had to run, there was no other way. I wasn’t going to be able to get away from him otherwise.
There was no going back to Vincent and I knew that the money would only keep Luke away for so long. He was just like that.
I didn’t know what I was going to do, but I had to run and start anew somewhere else. My degree should be enough to get me some sort of job and I’d ask the principal for a letter of recommendation.
I didn’t know where I should go, though, or how much I could pack.
The thought of it made me want to cry all over again.
I would have to leave it all behind. My cozy little apartment, the safe haven that I had spent years constructing...now it felt like a mouth, ready to swallow me whole. Now that I knew that Luke could, and would, invade it so easily, it no longer felt like home. Now it felt like I was in a rabbit burrow that was about to be flushed out.
Once I had closed and locked the door, and double-checked all of the locks—I would have to see what I could do about getting a deadbolt for it tomorrow—I dragged a chair over to block it, just in case Luke decided to come back tonight, though I doubted that it would do much to stop him.
Then I went to my bathroom and took a long, hot shower, hoping to wash away all evidence of Luke. But he had left me with a cut, and no matter how furiously I scrubbed, I knew it wouldn’t go away.
Chapter Twenty
Vincent
I was back to my old tactics again, trying to throw myself into work to forget everything that was going on around me. But this time, it didn’t seem to be working.
No matter how hard I threw myself into work or how much I overloaded myself, Emma’s face always came back to mind. I saw her crying, looking at me with shocked betrayal and then anger.
Why had she come to see me on that day? I never did find that out, but now I wish I had. It was eating at me.
What if it had been something important? What if that’s what made her so angry? Did I do the right thing?
The words I had said were harsh, but they were also true. I still had too much grief right now and I didn’t know what to do about it.
Genevieve must have noticed that something was off again. A few days after, she came to me, looking concerned.
“Did something happen?” she asked. “You seem different.”
I sighed. I didn’t know if I wanted to tell her. “It’s none of your business.”
She gave me a strange look, but that was the end of that conversation, until a few days later when I decided that I couldn’t hold it all in anymore. I needed to tell someone and I knew that Genevieve would listen to me.
“Genevieve, you were right,” I said.
“Well of course, but about what?”
“About the fact that I’ve been different. Something did happen, but I didn’t feel comfortable telling you about it then. It feels, I don’t know, more personal somehow.”
“Well it’s affecting your work, so I would say it’s beyond personal now,” Genevieve said, a concerned look on her face. “Come on, let’s sit down. We can talk this through.”
I obliged
her, taking a seat and turning to face her.
“Now what exactly happened? You seemed so happy recently and now it’s all gone,” she said.
“I don’t know if it was a real happiness,” I said, “Or just happiness in the moment.”
“It certainly seemed like real happiness to me. I mean, how would you define real happiness? What makes happiness not real? Happiness isn’t always lasting, so it doesn't make sense to base it off of time. I think you’re denying some things here.”
“Perhaps.” I let out a chuckle. “Maybe I was happy for a while. Really, it was all in part due to you.”
“To me?” She looked surprised for a moment.
“Yes, even if it was indirectly. Do you remember that event I did in honor of the one year anniversary of the death of my son?”
She nodded.
“I became friends with the teacher. For a bit, it was just that. She made me happy in that way. And then I realized that I wanted more and she wanted more, so we started dating. We’d been dating for three months when, a few days ago, she came to see me when I was coming back from the cemetery. I was beginning to realize that I still had a lot of grief to process and I didn’t know if I had room to love her.”
I sighed as Genevieve gave me an incredulous look. “I know, but that’s really how it felt. I was sad and I just wanted to be alone. I told her those things, but I knew it wasn’t in the best way. And so she got mad and told me that things were over, saying that her friend had been right. She told me not to come looking for her either.”
Genevieve considered these things for a moment and then stared me down.
“I think you’ve made a grave mistake,” she said.
“What do you mean?”
“Well this woman clearly made you happy. I could see the change in the way that you approached work even. You’re a fool for letting her go that easily.