Never Gonna Happen

by Cynthia Eden

  “But I’m not out of reach. I’m right here.” Oh, jeez. She’d done it again. Why could her mouth not stay closed sometimes?

  His eyes narrowed on her. “Are you playing with me?”

  “I don’t really play well with others.”

  “That’s a thing we have in common.” His green gaze burned. “Tell me that you’re not afraid.”

  “I’d be lying if I did that.”

  He flinched. Turned away. “Go back to—”

  “Not until you tell me what Dex said about my brother.”

  She saw his back tense.

  “That’s why you’re here, huh?” Sebastian’s voice rasped. “You come in and expect me to spill classified secrets.”

  “Is he alive?” Her voice broke. “Surely, telling me whether or not Antony is alive isn’t classified.”

  “As far as we know, yes, we believe he’s alive.”

  She waited for more. He said nothing. Dammit. She grabbed Sebastian’s arm and spun him back toward her. “You can tell me more than that.”

  “Another test, huh?” Sebastian muttered. She had zero clue what he was talking about, but he continued, “Only this time, it’s how much do I want you? If you give me what I need, will I spill all my secrets to you?”

  “I’m not asking you to betray your country for me. I’m just asking about Antony! I don’t want to know specifics about cases that you worked. I only want to know—”

  “He’s gone dark, Alyssa. I told you that much before, and there’s nothing else I can tell you now.” He looked down at her hand on his arm. “You should walk away. Go back to bed. You don’t have to promise me anything in order to learn what I know. What I’ve said is all you’ll get. So take your fear and go.”

  “You’re in a mood,” she accused.

  His brows shot up. “Excuse me?”

  “You had a knife at Dex’s throat! And, yes, he is a jerk, but that doesn’t mean it’s okay to pull a knife on him. First you punched him—”

  “Because he needed to watch his fucking mouth with you—”

  “And then you pulled a knife! I’ve never even seen you get rough with someone before. You just had your crazy PR persona, but now, all of a sudden, you’re threatening to cut a man’s throat, so, yes, excuse the hell out of me, but that scared me. You scared me.”

  Silence.

  She was squeezing his arm.

  “I don’t know you.” The truth hurt her to say.

  “You don’t want to know who I really am.”

  Alyssa looked down at the floor.

  “The real me would terrify you even more. If you realized how fucking much I want you, then you would be scared out of your skin.” He laughed. “Coming in here was a mistake. You don’t wave a red flag right in front of a bull’s face, not unless you want him to charge.”

  “So I’m a flag now.”

  “You’re the woman I want most, and you’re scared to death of me. Hardly good for the self-esteem.”

  Her gaze rose to lock with his. “Like you have a problem with self-esteem.”

  A muscle jerked along his jaw. “I told you about your brother. You didn’t have to trade kisses or promises or anything else for the news I gave you.”

  “Is that what you thought I was going to do?” Her hair slid over her shoulders as her head cocked back. The better to stare up at him. “Make some kind of sexual deal with you?”

  “A guy can dream.”

  “And you dream about me?” She sounded doubting because, no, he didn’t.

  “Only when I’m lucky.”

  She didn’t know what to say.

  “But I’m guessing you’ll have nightmares about me tonight, won’t you, Alyssa?” He gazed down at her hand. “You should stop touching me. When you touch me, it makes me want you more.”

  Slowly, she pulled her hand away. Alyssa took a step back. One. Another. Then she stopped retreating. “Have you ever killed anyone?” The question came out as a hushed whisper.

  His mocking laughter came again. “You shouldn’t ask questions when you don’t actually want to know the answers.”

  Her stomach was doing crazy flips. “I do want to know the answer.” She wanted to know who he truly was.

  “If I say yes, will that make you run back to your room faster?”

  “I’m not running. I’m standing right here, in front of you.”

  “For the moment.” Sebastian raked a hand over his face. “No, I haven’t ever killed anyone. You good now? I haven’t been in a situation where it was necessary. I’ve broken laws, though. Plenty of them. Back in the day, I got my ass thrown behind bars more times than I could count. That’s how Uncle Sam found me. Turned out the government didn’t like it too much when a punk kid hacked past a supposedly secure server.” His hand fell. “I’m not like Antony. I didn’t grow up in a fancy house with a mom and dad who doted on my every move. I didn’t even know my parents. I bounced around the foster care system, and I caused trouble because that was what I was good at doing. Even when I landed with good people, I fucked it up. That’s what I do. I fuck things up.”

  There was pain in his voice, and it made her heart ache. “Not always. You’ve made a super successful company. You’re one of the richest—”

  “Money isn’t every fucking thing. Back when I didn’t have it, I thought it was. But I learned it doesn’t buy you what you want most.”

  Don’t ask. Don’t ask. Don’t ask. “What do you want most?” And, of course, she asked.

  He stared straight at her. The green of his eyes blazed with lust. With a dark desire that had her breaths coming even faster. She should leave. Right then. Absolutely. She should go back to the guest room. Climb into the bed. Try to sleep.

  She didn’t move. But she did ask, again, “What do you want most?”

  “Not what. Who.” And he said, “You.”

  Alyssa shook her head.

  A grim smile curled his lips. “Most days, I think I’d kill to have you.”

  Her drumming heartbeat filled her ears.

  She turned, slowly, on her heel. Took a few steps toward the door.

  “Knew you’d run.” His low voice followed her. Rough. Ragged.

  And…

  Why am I running?

  Because she was moving blindly. Because her whole world had just flipped upside down. Because… Tell him. “I want you so much that it scares me, too.” For once, she didn’t blurt out the truth. Alyssa had to force out that painful confession.

  She heard Sebastian suck in a sharp breath behind her.

  Stop being afraid.

  She whirled around to face him.

  “Screw it,” Alyssa mumbled. She ran toward him. She grabbed his shoulders and yanked him down toward her. Her mouth crashed into his.

  Chapter Ten

  Alyssa was kissing him. Alyssa had run to him. For once, just like in his fantasies, she’d rushed toward him.

  For a moment, Sebastian was absolutely stunned. So stunned that he didn’t move. Her mouth was on his, her sweet tongue sliding past his open lips. Her hands were on him. And—

  She said she wants me.

  She’d grabbed him. She’d kissed him. Her hands were on him, her mouth was on his, and as she’d just said…

  Screw it.

  He wasn’t backing off any longer. Alyssa had just proven that she wanted him, and if she was giving him this chance…

  I will take her.

  His hands curved around her hips. He lifted her up, holding her easily, and he whirled to pin her against the wall. His tongue met hers. God, she was so sweet. So delicious. He could kiss her for hours. Forever.

  He wasn’t restrained or controlled. Wasn’t trying to seduce. He was way past the point of seduction. He was wild with his need. Desperate for her, and when she released a little moan, it made his whole body shudder.

  Her breasts pushed against the thin t-shirt she wore. When she’d first come into his bedroom, he’d been able to see the outline of her nipples. He wanted
those nipples in his mouth. Wanted his mouth on every single part of her body.

  He kissed her, deep and hard, and then he started working his mouth down her throat. Licking her skin. Lightly using the edge of his teeth. He felt her pulse racing beneath his mouth. Such a fast, frantic beat.

  He hoisted her higher. Moved her body easily. Bent his head and took one nipple into his mouth. The shirt was between him and her flesh, but she still arched toward him and gasped out his name.

  The clothes needed to go.

  He wanted her.

  Every single inch of her.

  Her hips were rocking against him. Pushing against him in a hungry rhythm. His cock shoved against the front of his boxers. They were doing nothing to hold him in check. His cock wanted her open and spread. Sebastian wanted to sink into her as far as he could go.

  He wanted her to scream and come.

  All night long.

  Her clothes had to go.

  “Why are we against the wall…” Her words were husky and sensual and made his cock twitch even more. “When the bed is right there?”

  “Because…” He lifted his head. Stared into her eyes so she would get the message completely. “If I get you in my bed, I’ll fuck you.”

  She licked her lips.

  He had to kiss her again. Had to sink his tongue into her mouth. Had to taste and take and—

  He tore his mouth away. Held her pinned against the wall. Realized her legs were wrapped around him. Her core shoving against his cock.

  I want in.

  His control was razor thin. He needed to get his ass in check. Five minutes ago, she’d been terrified of him.

  A kiss was one thing. The wild fucking he had in mind was something else entirely.

  “I need to touch you,” he rumbled. “Can I touch you?”

  “You are touching me,” Alyssa pointed out breathlessly.

  “Clothes are in the way.” He wanted to rip them off her. He wanted—

  His jaw locked. He caught her legs. Slowly lowered them. Took them away from his waist and eased her so that she was standing in front of the wall.

  Because if she keeps those sexy legs around my hips…

  He should move back. Step away. Instead, his hands slammed into the wall on either side of her head.

  He sucked in a breath. One. Two. Three. The breaths were supposed to help calm him down. Instead, with every breath, he pulled in more of her sweet scent.

  Lavender.

  His mouth was watering.

  “Maybe I should be more clear…since you seem caught up on this.” Her breathless voice was sexy as hell. “I want your hands on me. See what I’m doing here? I’m saying…I want your hands on me.”

  He’d squeezed his eyes shut, but at her words—those very, very deliberate words—his eyes flew open.

  He stared into her dark gaze. Saw her need. The wild need that matched his own. The flecks of gold in her eyes had gone molten. Her lips were red and swollen from his mouth.

  “Touch me,” Alyssa whispered as she held his gaze. “Where I need you most.”

  He was about to come. He wanted her that badly. Her words were making him shudder.

  And…

  His right hand fell down to her waist. He shoved down her jogging pants. They pooled on the floor. She wore the smallest scrap of white underwear he’d ever seen.

  Every bit of moisture dried up from his mouth.

  His hand slid down to the front of her panties.

  She parted her legs a little more.

  For me.

  His finger worked under the edge of those panties. Slid between her silken folds. She was wet.

  For me.

  His heartbeat pounded. Sounded like thunder as his fingers—first one, then another—worked up inside of her. She was so tight. Tight and hot, and she tipped back her head and moaned his name.

  His thumb brushed over her clit. His fingers thrust into her.

  The panties were in his way.

  With a savage snarl, he bent to his knees. He ripped the panties out of the damn way.

  “Sebastian!”

  He was almost feral in his need now. Wet for me. Moaning for me. Calling for me.

  He caught her hips. Hauled her toward him. Spread her legs more. Lifted her and put his mouth on her. He licked and he sucked and he took what he’d wanted for so long.

  Her hands flew to his shoulders. But she didn’t push him away. She pulled him closer, and she was moaning and arching against him. Her sex was bare, shaven and so smooth, and he could lap her up for hours.

  She tasted so good. He licked and thrust his tongue into her, only to withdraw and lick her again, a swipe of his tongue over her clit, and—

  “Sebastian!”

  She was coming. Calling out his name and shuddering before him. He could swear he tasted her pleasure on his tongue, and it just made him greedy for more. Greedy for every single inch of her.

  Greedy. Possessive.

  Mine. I want her to be mine. Always mine.

  He could hear the panting of her breath. His breath. He licked her again because he had to do it, then he rose, staring at her.

  I could eat her alive.

  Pink bloomed on her cheeks. Her eyes were wide. Dazed. Sated.

  He’d done that. He’d made Alyssa come. He’d put his mouth on her. Finally.

  He wanted his dick in her. He wanted her to be his, forever.

  Because he wanted that so fucking badly…

  Sebastian stepped back.

  “Wh-what are you doing?”

  A rough, savage laugh broke from him. “Making you come?”

  “Yes.” A fast response, followed by a nod. “You did that. But now you’re…backing away?”

  “Because you’re scared of me. Because I can’t have you then watch you turn away.” His dick was like frigging steel and all he wanted was to sink into her. “Go back to bed. You can walk away right now. A taste…that’s what we had.”

  A taste that had him hungry for more. For everything.

  Her chest rose and fell. “You ripped off my panties.”

  “Sweetheart, for the record, I pretty much want to rip off your panties every time I see you.”

  Her eyes widened.

  His laugh was low, with a dangerous edge. “You don’t get how badly I want you. You think we can fuck, and you can walk away.” He kept the distance between them because if he touched her again—

  I still taste her. I want to own her.

  She’d owned him from day freaking one.

  “I will ruin you for other men. I will fuck you so long and so hard and give you so much pleasure that any other bastard out there will just disappoint you.”

  She blinked. “Awfully c-confident there…”

  “And you will absolutely destroy me for other women.” She already had. He’d never get over how sweet she tasted. “I will want you, only you, because I can’t take you and forget. It won’t work that way.”

  She might think this was just a fuck. A hookup in the dark when times were crazy but it wasn’t.

  “I take you, and I’ll want you to be mine.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “It means…” Step back. More space. Put more space between you and her. “I’m a greedy bastard.”

  “I know that.”

  “Selfish to my core.”

  “So…I’ve, ah, heard.”

  “I take you once, and I will want you over and over again. It’s not a one-time thing.” He was warning her because…she matters too much. You didn’t give a man his biggest wish and then rip that shit away. Not without expecting hell to follow in its wake. “I’ll want to fuck you until you forget anyone before me.”

  Her chin angled up. “And you’ll forget everyone before me?”

  She didn’t get it. He’d done too good of a job at turning away from her before. Too good of a job at hiding how he felt. “Baby, I already have.”

  Her eyes widened.

  He moved to the s
ide. Cleared a path to the door for her. “Your brother is missing. Your life is in danger. You are—”

  “I know what I am. Don’t stand there…” Her words came faster. “Don’t stand there and tell me I’m confused. Don’t tell me—”

  “You were afraid of me five minutes ago!”

  “I still am. Afraid of who I saw with the knife. Afraid of the way you make me feel.” She grabbed him. Lunged forward. “And I’m also afraid that I will miss this chance with you. I’ve wanted you for years. I’ve fantasized about you for years. I’m not turning away. You say you’ll ruin me? That I’ll ruin you? Then let’s do it. Right now. Let’s just see what being ruined feels like because something tells me it is going to be phenomenal—”

  He’d tried to warn her. Tried to do what was the good thing because Alyssa was good. Alyssa was—

  “I will ruin you so hard,” she breathed. Then she shot up onto her toes, pressed her mouth to his throat, and licked him.

  Yeah, oh, yeah, she was going to ruin him.

  He locked his arms around her, and they fell on the bed. He’d tried to do the right thing.

  Now he’d do what he wanted. And what he wanted? Her.

  He yanked the shirt off her. Finally saw those perfect breasts with the tight nipples that needed to be in his mouth. He bent over her and took one tip into his mouth. He sucked and kissed and—

  She shoved his boxers out of the way. His cock sprang into her hot little hands. She stroked him, squeezed him, and his eyes damn near rolled back into his head.

  He lunged away from her so he could grab a condom out of the nightstand. He tore the packet open. Kicked away his boxers—they’d somehow tangled around his legs—and he had the condom on in the next instant.

  Her legs were parted. She was on his bed. Spread out for him.

  Wanting him.

  “This had better not be a dream.” His voice was guttural.

  He crawled over her. Put his cock at the entrance to her body.

  Then he slammed home.

  Hot. Tight. Heaven.

  He was lost. His control shredded, and he let go. His thrusts were wild and uncontrolled, but Alyssa was with him every single moment. Her nails bit into his arms. Her hips shoved eagerly up against his. He knew he should slow down.