by Elin Wyn
“That’s exactly what I said when I got here,” I grinned.
“I’m hoping we’ll be able to fully integrate Urai tech into our cities one day, but that’s a long way off,” Leena mused. Everything she said sounded so clever and professional, I felt like a moron, an out-of-place moron. I wondered if she knew this was my first real assignment.
“The samples and analysis results are here if you want to take a look,” I cleared my throat and tried to sound like I’d done this a thousand times.
“Perfect.” Leena stepped over to the counter I worked at yesterday. I pulled up the data on the console and stepped back to let her work.
“How unusual,” she murmured.
“Neither my own lab nor this one has been able to identify the organic substance,” I explained.
“I don’t believe it’s the Xathi,” Leena continued, “but to be safe, I’m going to run these samples against the data I’ve collected on those stupid bugs.”
“I think that would give everyone some peace of mind,” I agreed. She pulled up the chemical analysis of the organic material, as well as the results of several studies I didn’t recognize.
“What are those?” I asked, stepping closer to the console.
“My own studies. I have them uploaded to an archive that I can access anywhere,” she explained. She pulled up several chemical studies centered around the Xathi. None of them matched the profile of the organic substance found in the craters.
“Well, at least we know what it’s not.” I ran a hand through my hair.
“I’d almost prefer it if it were the Xathi,” Leena sighed. “That’s a beast we already know how to fight. There is something interesting, though.”
“What’s that?” I asked.
“The organic material is not from a Xathi, but it came into contact with a toxic substance recovered from pieces of the Xathi ship,” Leena explained. “There are the tiniest traces of it mixed into the soil.” She pointed to a group of compounds on the analysis that weren’t familiar to me.
“That makes sense. That’s the sample that came from out in the desert,” I told her. “The planet’s crust was thinner in that area. I think the final impact of the pieces of the ship colliding with the planet’s surface cracked the crust and fell into that hollow spot. We’ve no idea how deep it does.”
“How has no one noticed a massive hollow spot in the planet?” Leena asked.
“That’s exactly what I thought!” I exclaimed. “It’s a big area, too. The crater was at least a half mile wide.”
“How’d you get these samples?” Leena asked.
“I rappelled into the crater with Karzin and another member of his strike team,” I explained. “Karzin thought I was joking at first. He saved my life that day. Something came up from below and attacked us.”
“How come none of the other strike teams have heard about it?” Leena asked.
“General Rouhr didn’t think it was cause for alarm since it was so far away from civilian populations. I think he would rather our energies be spent closer to home,” I explained. “At least that was the plan until the incident in Duvest.”
“What happened, exactly?” Leena asked. “Axtin didn’t know anything about it.”
“It was the strangest thing. There were all these mini-craters, just like the one in the desert. Whatever happened was fast and destructive. People died but the ones who were injured or escaped entirely have no memory of what happened,” I explained.
“Bullshit,” Leena gasped. I decided that I liked Leena.
“Karzin and I asked everyone we could. No one had any idea what did it. These samples are our only clue,” I said.
“We have a proper mystery on our hands then.” I didn’t miss the gleam of excitement in her eyes.
“There’s another mystery I’ve been trying to work out,” I said. Leena gave me a curious look.
“What’s that?” she asked.
“I’ve only known Karzin for a few days, but he seems like a good person,” I began. “However, when he interacts with the others, like Axtin and General Rouhr, there’s obvious tension. I don’t understand it. I feel like I’m missing something.”
“That’s because Karzin refuses to pull his weight nowadays.” I was startled by the bluntness of her speech. “Once the Xathi were defeated, Karzin decided his own agenda was more important than helping to rebuild our planet. He’s been unreachable until now. I have no idea how General Rouhr got him down to Nyheim, but good for him for doing so.”
“What do you mean by his own agenda?” I asked. I felt guilty for being nosy, but if I was going to keep kissing Karzin – and I planned to keep kissing him - I felt that I should know more about him.
“Months ago, General Rouhr told the entire crew that the Aurora was not stable enough to take into deep space and it wouldn’t be possible for them to return to their respective homeworlds,” she explained.
“That must’ve been quite a shock,” I mumbled.
“It was. Karzin was one of the ones who took it the hardest but, at the time, he got his shit together and did what needed to be done,” Leena continued.
“That’s good, isn’t it?”
“Yes. But as soon as the Xathi were wiped out, he returned here to the Aurora. He refused to move into one of the cities. He refused to take assignments. Instead, he wanted to find a way to get off this planet.”
“You mean, he wants to go home?” I asked.
Leena nodded.
“The Xathi hit their homeworlds hard. Some of the crew know what happened to their families, they know they have nothing to go back to. Others, like Karzin, never received that kind of closure,” Leena sighed. “He’s spent the last two months doing who knows what trying to find a way to reach his family. I know he’s been tinkering with the satellites.”
“Do you think there’s a chance he could find a way to reach them?” I thought of my own family. There was a time during the Xathi invasion that we were separated. I couldn’t get ahold of them, I didn’t know if they were dead or alive.
It was the worst time of my life.
“Honestly?” Leena gave me a blank look that was very telling. “No, I don’t. However, I’ve never been an optimist. Axtin is from the same world as Karzin. Axtin’s told me stories about when the Xathi first attacked. The planets were devastated, and as far as anyone knows, the war is still going on out there.”
“I’d be miserable if I was stuck here and I knew my family was suffering somewhere I couldn’t reach,” I said in Karzin’s defense.
“I felt for him, too, at first,” Leena admitted. “My sister and I didn’t speak for years before we reconciled. If I lost her now, I would go mad with grief.”
“But?” I prompted.
“But all of us lost something during the Xathi invasion. We all lost friends and family. We lost our homes. We lost our sense of safety. Yet, we all carry on because there’s a job to do and we’re going to do it, damn it! It’s not right that Karzin gets a free pass and leaves the rest of us to pick up his slack.”
I understood where Leena was coming from. She experienced the same frustration I sometimes felt with Cassie. But the more I thought about it, the more my heart went out to Karzin.
I wanted to find a way to help him.
I wondered if he’d let me.
Karzin
My eyes burned and my neck hurt from staring at the computer screens. I forced myself to blink, rubbed my eyes, and tried to stretch my neck. The muscles in my neck were tender, and very sore. The pain meds from the med bay had done nothing for me, so I had tricked Fen into opening a rift for me back to Nyheim, and then again back to the ship.
She hadn’t been happy with me when I returned, but I waved her off. She was unhappy that I had used the rift to go buy human alcohol, but I needed it to dull the pain in my neck and head. I emptied a bottle, dropped it next to me, and winced a bit at the loud clatter it made bouncing around. I looked back at the screen and squinted to cut down on the
bright light.
There was still nothing. Nothing on any of the visual scans, nothing on the auditory scans, nothing. Nothing. Nothing anywhere. The only thing I’d found was that small asteroid from the night before. I growled at the lack of information, grabbed another bottle, and switched to satellite four in order to manipulate the frequencies again.
I knew that Dax and Axtin had told me that I needed to find something to take my mind away from this so I didn’t hurt myself, but I needed to know. There had to be something out there. I couldn’t give up searching for it.
“Karzin?” an almost sheepish voice called to me from behind. I turned in my chair to see a slightly blurred version of Annie at the command center doors. Fen was gliding away behind her.
“What is it, Andromeda?” I asked as I turned back to the computer.
I heard her step into the command center. Her footsteps drew nearer as she answered. “I’ve been looking for you. I thought you were going to introduce me to Leena.”
“I’m sorry. I had forgotten about that.” I turned my chair around and looked up at her. “Are you ready to go?”
“I already went to her. She’s an amazing woman, did you know that?”
I nodded as I turned back around again. “Yes, Leena has shown herself to be a very capable and intelligent being.”
“That she is. She also kind of told me about what you’re doing here.”
“Of course she did,” I snarled. “That woman might be extremely smart, but she has no idea how to keep her ketonsin mouth shut. So,” I said, my voice becoming sarcastic and petulant, “what did she tell you?”
“She said that you’re searching for a way home, for your family. That’s why you and the rest of the team don’t talk much anymore.”
I spun my chair around and glared at her. “Really? Is that what she said? What else did she say? That I’ve become obsessive? That I’m abandoning my team for some fruitless search? That I should give up? Is that what she said?”
Before Annie was able to say anything else, I stood up and stepped towards her. “If they want to give up on our people, then that’s their prerogative. I won’t, and I shouldn’t have to be the target of their comments! It’s my right to search for my family and I don’t care if they count me as a failure or not, I will not give up looking for a way back to my people.”
My breath came hard and heavy as I towered over Annie.
She didn’t back down, instead stepping towards me, large eyes bright. “They’re all worried about you. From what I’ve heard, you’ve spent a lot of time in here and you haven’t found anything.”
“That,” I started, then stopped. I sat back down. “That is true. I have yet to find any signs of my home.” I put my head down and closed my eyes. The blood pounded in my head and my neck ached.
Annie came up next to me and put her hands on my shoulders. The light squeeze of her hands felt good.
I rotated my head a bit and she started massaging my shoulders and neck as she spoke. “I know the others might think that what you’re doing borders on overly obsessive, but I can understand how you feel.”
I looked up at her. “How?”
“When all of you first landed here—or, crashed, actually—I was separated from my family for a while.”
A pang ran through me. “How long?”
“A few months.” She stopped massaging my shoulders and looked down at me, shadows haunting her eyes. “After the ship crashed down, the Xathi left the ship and began attacking people. I had been at work that day, so I had no idea where anyone was. One day of chaos bled into the next. I spent the next few months in hiding, running when I could to try to get away from the Xathi.”
She trembled, lost in the memories.
“I had no idea where they were or if they were okay. It hurt me every day to not know.”
I wrapped my hand over hers, wanting only to reassure her, but at her touch a wave of rage ran through me.
Rage for what she had been through. The fear that this beautiful creature had to endure. I couldn’t believe that I had not known her and couldn’t keep her safe. I had been here, and she had been afraid, and I had done nothing.
She came willingly as I pulled her to me. I sat her on my lap and put my arms around her, as if I could shield her from everything she had gone through.
“I will always protect you, Annie.”
She looked into my eyes and smiled. “Everything is fine now, you know,” she said softly. “I just wanted you to know that I understand what you’re going through. I honestly do.”
“Then what should I do?” I asked.
“Keep looking, but don’t let it take over your life.”
I looked down at her little hands, then up at her. I saw no condescension, no judgment, no pity in her eyes. What I saw was real concern and genuine sympathy.
“You are a strong person, Karzin, and I admire you for how dedicated you are in trying to find your family. I would have done the same if I had all this equipment.”
Her eyes were wet, and a small tear began to fall as she spoke. “It was hard to see other families come back together, and to see families receive news that their loved ones were gone, it broke my heart. I started thinking about how I would be if I had ever gotten that news. How would I be able to go on? So I mean it when I say that I admire your dedication in what you’re doing.”
I reached my hand up and gently wiped the tear away. She grabbed my hand and hugged it while I cupped her face. It was almost absurd how big my hand was compared to her tiny little head. If I had wanted to, I could have crushed her skull with my hand, but all I wanted to do was hold her and comfort her.
Her voice broke just a bit. “Just don’t let this become the only thing you do. It’ll ruin everything else you have.”
She was right. I had let this become an obsession. I had pushed the crew, and especially my team, away from me. Dax and Axtin were right. Living, right here, right now, would keep me sane.
The satellites were still up there, constantly monitoring the space around us. The Urai system kept tabs on every signal used and what was found, so if anything was found, I would be able to go back to see what was found, when it was found, where it was found, and what frequency or wavelength it had been found on.
Still cupping her head, I lifted her face to look at me. “Thank you,” I said.
“For what?”
“For helping me remember who I’m supposed to be and what I’m supposed to do. So, thank you for that.” I tried to give her my most gentle and sincere smile, but I was worried that it just came across as creepy.
She returned my smile, then hugged me. “You’re not such a grumpy jerk after all. I knew there was a good guy inside you.”
I gently pushed her away. “You’re a funny woman if you think I’m a nice person,” I joked.
“Eh. You know you are. The grumpy part is just an act, I can tell.”
“Whatever you say, Andromeda.” I put a little extra emphasis on her real name in order to get a reaction, and I wasn’t disappointed.
She pushed away from me and scoffed. “I told you I don’t like my full name,” she said, her hands on her hips.
“Too bad, because I really like it,” I teased. “It makes you make that cute little pouty lip like the one you have now.” I pointed at her mouth, finger dangerously close to running over her lip.
“Ah.” She put her hand over her mouth, then glared at me. “You really are a jerk.” Her smile lessened the blow of the words.
I shrugged, winked, and motioned her to sit. “So I’ve been told. Want to see how I’ve been searching? Maybe you’ll have an idea that I haven’t had.”
She sat down, wheeled the chair over, and I started to show her how to manipulate the controls. We went over all of my previous searches, discussed how I had laid out my search grid, and talked about the different things I was looking for.
We spent the next few hours looking, talking, and just enjoying one another’s company. She made me smil
e and made me want to be the man that I used to be before all of this. I had become so singularly obsessed with finding any sign of my people that I had forsaken the people that I had here.
While my family back on Valorn were hopefully still fighting, I had to realize that my family here, the family of Skotans, K’vers, Urai, and even the humans, were still fighting for survival here. So much had happened here and we were still picking up the pieces.
I needed to help them do that.
I wanted Annie to be proud of me for more than just searching for home, and I wanted my team’s respect back.
I wanted to be happy again.
And more and more, I wanted Annie.
Annie
Karzin walked me to my room, quiet the entire journey.
Once outside my door, he looked at me. And without a word, he bent lower and brought his mouth to mine.
I surrendered myself willingly. On my tiptoes, I wrapped my arms around him as his hands pulled me to him, strong fingers holding me tight against his body as his tongue darted into my mouth, questing, probing.
As he began to move his arms up and down my back, I moaned loudly. His touch turned my entire body to fire.
His hand kneaded my ass, and I curved in to him, caught against his wide chest. Lower, something hard pressed against my belly.
Hard, and unbelievably large.
I pulled my head back, panting, almost dizzy with need.
“Annie,” he growled, then shook himself, darkened eyes softening. With a gentle kiss, he reached to open my door.
And walked away.
I was left breathless.
And very, very horny.
With no time constraint, I look a thirty-minute shower and relished every second of it.
And then went to bed, with nothing but thoughts of Karzin on my mind.
I could remember every sensation as he touched me.
I dreamt of him. Vivid dreams of Karzin danced through my night.