Dead and Gone

by Tina Glasneck

  I continued eating, even though I could no longer taste my food. How could they talk business in front of me? Why would Conner allow that? Maybe they had other plans for me.

  “How many are on the ship that’s leaving tonight?” Cameron asked.

  “Twenty-three. I saw them this morning. They all look like they’re sixteen or seventeen. Most aren’t that old. One’s only twelve. With her boobs, she’ll easily pass for sixteen.”

  “Good. We want to keep our customers satisfied. They especially enjoy young, well-developed, tight bodies. There are a few who don’t like too much tit. They probably fantasize they’re doing it with a virgin. I’d be surprised if any of the girls fit that bill.” Cameron smiled. “Did you see any of the new videos that Saul’s working on acquiring?”

  “No,” Conner replied.

  “You need to see them. The guy wants more than we usually pay. I think they’re worth his asking price. The star in one of them can’t be more than eleven.”

  My eyes fixed on Conner, trying to get his attention. He never looked my way. Wondering how I could run from the room, I picked up my wine glass to take a sip and dumped it down my blouse onto my skirt.

  “Oh, I’m sorry,” I said, setting down the glass and standing up. “I’ll be right back.” I headed upstairs to change.

  With shaking hands, I changed clothes. Then I sat down, cupped my hands over my mouth and breathed deeply, trying to soothe my nerves. Water welled in my eyes. Those poor girls. It was hard just knowing about the corruption. Listening to Cameron and Conner discuss it openly, like a normal business transaction, brought it all to life. I grabbed a handful of tissues from the nightstand and caught the tears before they landed on my sweater.

  Closing my eyes, I slid my fingers together and attempted to quiet my mind. It was impossible as terrified faces of teenage girls appeared. Swallowing hard, my eyes flew open to escape the images.

  Confused, I couldn’t understand what was going on. I wasn’t a member of the Crussett family or one of their employees. Why would they talk about it in front of me? Maybe Cameron hoped I’d run again. Conner should have stopped him, but he didn’t. He joined in, business as usual. My thoughts flowed back to the girls. I wiped away more tears as I wondered if any of them ever had a chance to escape.

  A rap on the door startled me. I stood and buttoned my slacks. “Come in.”

  Darcy entered. “Sara, they want you to come back downstairs.”

  “Thanks. I’ll be right down.”

  Darcy left, closing the door behind her.

  I felt trapped, like the girls, as I glanced at myself in the mirror, fixed my makeup, and brushed my hair. I inhaled deeply, went downstairs, and returned to my seat. Dessert was on the table.

  “I’m glad you could join us again,” Cameron said with a sarcastic sneer.

  I said nothing as I picked up my fork and began eating. They went back to talking business which I blocked out of my head by thinking about Mom and Dad. My eyes became moist again as I thought about how much they loved me. They’d protect me from anything; they never had an ulterior motive. I wondered if Conner only pretended he still loved me to get the documents back. Was it all an act? I didn’t want Cameron and Conner to know how I was feeling, so I carefully wiped my eyes with my fingertips; they were rough against my face. I laid my hands, palms up, in my lap and looked at them. They appeared dry and chapping. The suntan lotion had worn off. I should have rubbed more in when I was upstairs. Touching my fingers, they felt prickly.

  “Sara,” Conner said, breaking my concentration.

  Looking up, I saw he was standing next to Cameron. I hadn’t realized they were finished with their desserts. As I rose from the chair, Conner took my arm, and we walked Cameron to the entry hallway.

  “Thank you for dinner,” Cameron said, opening the door.

  “You’re welcome,” Conner replied. “I’ll look at some of the videos tomorrow.”

  “Let me know what you think. Goodnight.”

  “See you in the morning.”

  I stood quietly and watched Conner close the door behind Cameron. He led me back into the living room.

  “Would you like a glass of wine?” he asked.

  “No, thank you,” I replied, sitting down on the sofa.

  Conner mixed himself a drink and sat next to me. “You seemed a little withdrawn during dessert. Are you feeling okay?”

  “Yes. I’m fine,” I said, looking at the floor.

  “What were you thinking about?”

  “I lived with you for almost three years. You’ve never talked about business at the table before. Is this what I can expect whenever you have company for dinner?”

  He put his arm around my shoulders. “Before, you didn’t know about the family’s business, now you do. Since I no longer have to hide it from you, I can be more relaxed when we have company.”

  “One of your rules was that I needed to go upstairs when you had company. I don’t need to do that anymore?”

  “Sometimes you’ll still need to go upstairs. I’ll make that decision based on the scope of what is being discussed.”

  “Does Cameron talk about business in front of Melanie?”

  “Sometimes. He never talks about it in front of Colin.”

  At least Cameron recognized that Colin was still too young. “You said the family’s business had nothing to do with us.”

  “That’s right, it doesn’t.”

  “If you’re going to talk about business in front of me, then I think it does.”

  “No, it doesn’t.”

  “Well, I guess we’re going to disagree.”

  He grabbed my shoulders. “Why do you think that?”

  I figured I might as well tell him what I thought. “It was hard for me knowing your family’s real business. The books didn’t go into details about the girls or about the content of the pornography videos. That’s what you talked about at dinner.”

  “Where do we go from here?” He sounded irritated.

  I stared at him as my lips quivered.

  “Sara,” he said, shaking my shoulders.

  My pent-up sexual desires emerged again. I felt sickened and helpless, an unwilling slave to my body. How could I be aroused by a man who laughed at the plight of eleven and twelve-year-old girls sold as sex slaves? I couldn’t even imagine how much they suffered. I tried to relax. It was impossible. The more I thought about them, the more distraught I became, and the stronger my unwanted lust overwhelmed my body. I bit my lips to hold back tears. I did not want him. I hated this feeling and myself for feeling it, but it controlled me.

  “I don’t know,” I said, putting my arms around his neck and kissing him.

  He smiled, and we went upstairs.

  16

  Leaving

  The sound of water running in the shower woke me. Lying in bed, I thought about what I should do. I didn’t want Brett getting hurt trying to get me away from here. He talked about my body going through changes. I wondered if it was more than the overwhelming sex drive. Last night, I felt nervous and upset for a long time before I wanted Conner. Whatever I had been given in Billings must have started wearing off.

  Conner came out of the bathroom and got dressed. When he was ready to leave, he sat down on the bed next to me. He took my hand and rubbed it. “I don’t want you to work in the yard today. Your fingers feel rough. I don’t think the gloves protected your hands enough. We’ll go shopping for a better pair.”

  “I wasn’t planning on working in the yard today. In fact, I won’t be working out there anymore.”

  “Good. I’m sure you can find something to do inside the house.”

  I held his hands. “Conner, I’m leaving.”

  His eyebrows rose and his forehead creased. “Why?”

  “As much as I love you, I can’t stay knowing about your family business. I just can’t. I’m sorry.”

  Conner’s eyes darkened with rage. “Are you planning on meeting Brett?” he snapped. “Is th
at what this is all about?”

  “No.”

  “Where do you plan on going?”

  “I want to go home.”

  “This is your home.”

  “No. This is your home. My home is in San Diego. I never sold my parents’ house. The university uses Dad and Mom’s lab. The house has been empty long enough waiting for me to return. I always felt safe there.” Surprisingly, now I felt calm, but extremely sad. I was doing the right thing.

  “What makes you think I’m just going to let you leave?”

  “I can’t stay here any longer.” My eyes were getting moist. “So, if you’re not going to let me leave, I’d like to be buried next to my parents.” Tears began flowing down my cheeks. It was hard hurting someone who loved me, even if I didn’t want anything to do with him anymore. The pain I felt was insignificant compared to what he had inflicted on other people.

  He put his arms around me and held me close. “I don’t want you to leave.”

  I sniffled and said, “I thought, maybe, I could get past your family business and just think about us. After dinner last night, I can’t. This is your home. You should be able to talk about whatever you want to here. Now, I know it’s been a struggle for you having me live here.”

  “I can’t let you go.”

  “And I can’t stay.”

  “I want you. I won’t discuss my business in front of you anymore.” He gently wiped away my tears.

  “Your family wouldn’t like that. I think Cameron wanted to talk about it last night so I would run away again. I’m sure that’s what he wants. What surprised me more was that you talked without hesitation in front of me, not taking into consideration how it would make me feel. You didn’t even look at me. Then when I couldn’t take any more, I found a way to go upstairs. You sent Darcy to get me to come back to the table.”

  His expression softened. “What will you do in San Diego?”

  “I’ll find a job and start over.”

  “Will I be able to see you?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe after we’ve been apart for awhile, I might miss you so much it’ll be too hard not to see you again.”

  “When are you planning on leaving?”

  “As soon as I get ready. Can I take my car?”

  He rubbed his chin as he silently gazed at me for a minute. “I’ll fly you back to San Diego. One of my men will drive your car there. Are you going to take anything with you?”

  I managed a faint smile. “Well, I won’t be taking any documents, if that’s what you’re asking.”

  He kissed my hand. “No, I didn’t mean that. Cameron believes you didn’t return all of them.”

  “You’ve got them all.”

  “There were a few pages torn out of a ledger. Among the documents you returned were copies of those pages. Did you take any originals?”

  “No. Why would I copy them if I took the originals?”

  “I didn’t think you would remove any pages from a ledger.” He tucked an unruly strand of my hair that was floating in front of my eyes behind my ear. “When I asked if you were going to take anything with you, I meant, your clothes, jewelry.”

  “I thought I’d pack a few things. Things I bought for myself. I’m not going to take any of the jewelry.” A crooked smile flickered on my lips. “I don’t go to fancy enough places to wear it.”

  “I’ll make the arrangements while you get ready.”

  Feeling relieved that he was going to let me go, I caressed his hand. “Thank you.”

  He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my lips. His eyes dimmed, and I saw the pain on his face as he stood. I imagined the despair on his victims’ faces. Thinking of the poor girls, I watched him walk out of the room.

  My feet hurt as I trudged to the shower. I bent down and rubbed them; they felt rough, even in the arch. After showering, I started to blow dry my hair. It kept getting caught on my fingers so I gave up and left it messy. Struggling to get on my underwear, I couldn’t prevent the material from sticking to my fingers. I took a pair of evening gloves out of my dresser drawer, put them on, and finished getting dressed. Then I worked on my hair again so it wasn’t sticking up all over.

  I packed two suitcases. There were other things I wanted to take. They were gifts from Conner, and I knew I’d think about him whenever I wore them. I slipped off the gloves and my ruby ring. I laid the ring on top of the dresser where it was when I returned. The black ring was still on my finger. Once I was home, I would work on getting it off. Picking up a suitcase and my purse, I scanned the room and reminisced about the wonderful memories created in here. Mixed emotions tumbled through my mind as I strolled out and headed down the stairs.

  After leaving the suitcase in the foyer, I went to the den. Conner wasn’t there. I walked through the living room, dining room, and kitchen searching for him. Then I stepped into the hallway and yelled, “Conner, I’m ready to go.”

  The front door opened. I saw Cameron enter, along with the man he brought to dinner last night. Panic hit, sending waves of terror through my body.

  “Conner,” I yelled again. No response. Had he turned me over to his family? I didn’t want to believe he would do that.

  Cameron crossed his arms over his chest and sneered.

  “Darcy,” I shouted. No response.

  “No one is here, but us,” Cameron said in a harsh tone. “Conner is blaming me for you leaving. We both know you had already planned on running again.”

  “I’m not running away. I’m going home.”

  Cameron smirked. “Conner had some things he needed to take care of before he could fly you home. Saul,” he nodded at the man standing next to him, “is going to take you to the airport.”

  I wanted to ask where he was really going to take me. Instead, I turned and stepped toward the stairs. “I need to get my other suitcase.”

  “Wait here,” Cameron ordered, taking my arm. “Saul will get it.”

  Silently, I watched Saul go up the stairs. The hall branched off in two directions; I didn’t tell him which way to go, yet he knew. I wondered how many times he’d been here. A moment later, he came down with the suitcase, picked up the other one, and carried them out to the waiting limo. Cameron and I followed without saying a word. My feet ached, yet I held my head high and walked my normal pace. I didn’t want Cameron to have the satisfaction of knowing that I was scared.

  The limo driver opened the door while Saul put the luggage in the trunk. My face remained blank and emotionless as I got in the limo. Saul climbed in next to me. Conner never allowed any Crussett employees to sit by me. They always sat on the opposite side. Only Conner shared a seat with me. It didn’t surprise me that Saul would plop down wherever he wanted to. This wasn’t going to be a usual limo ride.

  Cameron leaned in and looked at me with a smug, sadistic grin. “Have a nice trip home.”

  I glared at him. “Goodbye, Cameron,” I said, not attempting to hide my sarcasm.

  The limo drove out the gate and turned in the direction of the airport. Sensing Saul scanning my body from head to toe, I stared out the window and tried to recall everything that was in my purse. Was there anything I could use as a weapon? Maybe a fingernail file, tweezers, the tip of a comb. I snapped open my purse, stuck my hand in, and began rummaging around.

  Saul grabbed it and threw it on the floor.

  “We’re being followed,” the limo driver said over the intercom.

  Saul pushed the intercom button. “Lose the tail.”

  A horn erupted as the limo sped into another lane. It darted in and out of traffic, weaved onto another highway and meandered through various streets, jarring Saul and me back and forth in the back seat.

  “I think we’ve lost him,” the driver said.

  Saul’s cold, unsettling eyes dropped to my lap. He put his hand on my knee.

  “Conner won’t like that,” I said, pushing his hand away.

  “That’s not all Conner won’t like.”

  “What else won’
t he like?”

  A malicious smile crossed his face. “Conner says you’re the best ass he’s ever had. I’m going to find out if that’s true.”

  “Conner doesn’t talk that way,” I said, irritated. “If you think I’m going to let you touch me, you’ve got another thought coming.”

  “Don’t need your permission.” He stuck his hand under my blouse.

  Shoving his hand away, I yelled, “Stop that.”

  He snickered and pawed my breasts.

  I thrust my elbow into his side. “Get away from me!”

  Lifting my legs, he forced me down on the back seat.

  The limo phone rang as I raised my foot to kick him. He blocked the blow and ran his hand up my slacks while I squirmed and pounded him with my fists.

  “Do you want me to answer that?” the driver asked.

  Saul leaned toward the intercom button and pushed it. “No.”

  I scooted closer to the door and sat up, firmly planting my feet on the floor.

  He twisted his hand between my thighs, pushing them apart.

  Punching his arm, I screamed, “Get away from me.”

  Saul’s cell phone rang. “What now?” He yanked it out of his pocket and glanced at it. Then he put it back without answering. He clutched the waistband of my slacks and slid me toward him.

  I elbowed him in the groin. He flinched as he buckled over. I smacked his head.

  Grabbing my blouse, he straightened his spine and sneered. “You’re not helping your situation.”

  “I’m going to tell Conner,” I barked, shoving his arm. My fingers stuck to his blazer.

  He gripped my hand and pulled it up, along with the attached threads. “What the...” he said, turning my palm over. He removed some of the threads and ran his fingers over mine. “Your hands feel like crap.” He checked his blazer. “You’ve ruined it. I’ve never known anyone with such rough, scaly hands. How can Conner stand holding them?” His brows furrowed as his eyes swept over my body. “He probably doesn’t need to do that to get what he wants.”

  He proceeded to roughly move his hand up between my legs. As he got closer to my crotch, I pushed at his hand as hard as I could. He was too strong and wrapped his fingers easily around my wrist as I tried to kick him. He smiled maliciously, and his cold eyes flared while he enjoyed the control he had over me.