Dead and Gone

by Tina Glasneck

  “What the hell is he doing here?” Jesse yelled at her. The vein in his head bulged, as his hands reached around gripping her neck, pinning her against the peeling floral wallpapered wall.

  Her eyes welled up while her hands pulled at his tightening fingers. “I’m going to keep my eyes on him, but you are mine. I own your ass. Look at me when I’m talking to you.”

  Her darting gaze settled on his seething stare and clenched jaw.

  Her mouth opened to speak, but nothing came out. How could she calm the now raging bull? She was speechless, but the thrashing of her heart blasted in her ears until all she could hear was its beating, while his breath stung her exposed skin.

  “No one loves you; no one can take care of you and your bastard kid. Remember that.” Her child was the elusive shadow she was never able to grasp. His location unknown.

  Removing his semiautomatic gun from his waistband, Jesse cocked it and placed the metal muzzle to her head, pressing it firmly in place. Her breathing turned to pleading pants.

  “No,” she whispered. It was as if during that quick moment she was praying for another chance at life, another opportunity to be able to take life by the horns and live it.

  “Count to three and tell me how much you love me, how much you need me. Tell me you’ll never leave me.”

  Her consuming fire had imploded.

  Two and half years ago, once Shane had left, Jesse had swooped into the spot of paramour. He’d seemed so promising, so loving in the beginning, until that first time. The first time when shortly after he beat her black and several shades of blue, he’d apologized profusely, treated her to gifts, and poured on the attention until his mood slipped again, and the cycle continued. The scars and bruises on her hands barely had time to heal, and the concealer wasn’t thick enough to cover them up. She’d left seven times always to come back. Now she only thought about what it meant to have returned and the child’s location he held over her head.

  Her mouth cracked open. “I’m not going anywhere, Jesse. Please, please, please,” she begged.

  “Do you love me?”

  Frigidness seeped into her bones, and the calm shivers gave way to an all-out visible shake.

  “Always,” she answered too quickly. It was as if the scent of death hovered, as if he teetered on a high wire, easy to shift and pull the trigger of the gun still against her head.

  Suddenly releasing her, she slid down the wall.

  Tears streamed down her face, and relief washed over her. Charlie dipped her head into her bruised and scarred hands and tried to breathe. She tried to calm down, but the rising tide of panic gripped her, rooting her to the spot, watching while the dangerous predator of Jesse stalked back and forth in front of her, as if he was unsure if she should be able to get up. The gun fixed in his hand; the revolver’s hammer still cocked back.

  “I can’t make you love me,” he yelled raising the gun again to point it at her.

  She stared into the muzzle. She couldn’t belittle him on how he felt; instead, her words needed to be convincing and carefully chosen, for if they weren’t, he’d take away everything she held dear.

  She closed her eyes, hoping to block out the scene playing before her. The coolness from the wall made her shake more, as she tried to bite back more tears that she couldn’t stop from flowing. Instead, she focused on the way she once felt about him.

  “I don’t remember anymore what it felt like to be so close to you, to hear your heart in my ear, and to curl up in your arms. You were my sunshine on a rainy day, and when the hurricane came, drenching me and blocking out the light, I thought I could survive it, and I did, but I never forgot the sun. I can’t breathe without remembering what it was like to look in your eyes, but I came too close to the sun and got burned, third degree. It doesn’t heal. The scars are still there, and all I ever wanted to do was bathe in what it meant to love you, as truly, madly, and utterly as I thought you loved me.”

  He lowered the gun.

  At least for that moment, she was given another chance.

  “Did you fuck him? Is that why he’s here? I don’t share what is mine, Charlie. What am I going to have to do to make you understand that you can never leave me?” Her words, which she’d uttered to try to fool him hadn’t worked. They held nothing, no truth, empty words to placate him as if he were a stranger. He knew every nuance of her, even from the slightest motion.

  Especially when she lied.

  “I don’t know why he came by. I haven’t spoken with him since the other night. Please, Jesse,” she raised her hand as if to block his next blow.

  “Then how’d he know you were staying here? And why does he have no respect to the family and to me? Maybe it’s time your friend disappeared for a while, just like Veronika, and like they all do.”

  “What do you mean?” Charlie shouted.

  “Family looks after family. Blood in, blood out and I don’t trust him or his intentions with you.”

  “What about Veronika? Where is she?”

  “I’ll tell you the truth. She’s dead, surely already separated into a million pieces while big businesses, medical students, and doctors test out their newest equipment on her rotting corpse, and if she’s lucky, maybe parts of her live on, implanted into the old man who needed a new knee or hip. You see, we make sure to get our money out of you.”

  Tears welled in her eyes, and she shook her head as if each movement would bat away the truth of his words.

  “I don’t believe you.”

  “It’s the hard truth, but you’re not ready for it. Not with me, not with him, and definitely not with yourself. The only reason you’re still alive is because of me. And him? He comes back here and acts like he doesn’t know you, until you expose that lie for what it is, and now he’s coming to our house—the home that I share with you. No, he is a disrespecting motherfucker, and I’m going to teach him some respect. He hasn’t figured out who I am, but he is about to learn that lesson.”

  Raising the gun, he aimed and fired. The bullet penetrated the wall next to her.

  “And if you tell him anything, I’ll make sure that the next bullet doesn’t miss.”

  15

  August 10, 2003

  Bang.

  He’d pulled the trigger.

  Staring into the distance, lost in thought, and with the ashtray piling ever higher with her discarded cigarette butts, Charlie sat on her makeup chair. She couldn’t shake the feeling of death’s grip on her shoulder. She had to come up with a plan to save herself.

  No one else was going to do it for her.

  The sound of the gun still resounded, although a couple of days had passed. Every moment since then, she’d been thinking.

  “He’ll never really hurt me, Veronika,” Charlie remembered saying.

  “But he will. Each day he gets closer to killing you, Charlie. Each time he places his hands on you, he is taking you one step closer to death. You have to get out of here, promise me that, and we’ll escape together.”

  “Escape? We’re here because we want to be here.”

  “You have a lot to learn, Charlie. Truthfully, you might have given up on yourself, on your future, but there is more to life than living in the shadow of a man that treats you like crap.”

  “I can’t leave him. He loves me.”

  "If something happens, then will you leave? What is going to force you to get right? Do you love him, really love him?”

  The memory dissipated as Charlie dabbed on more cover-up under her eye, hoping it would lessen some of the swelling. She’d primped and beautified herself as much as possible, having added blonde highlights to her darkened locks, in hopes of having the gaze of her customers fall on something else besides her bruised face.

  Pulling up her short black skirt, she zipped it and shrugged into the latex-like police top with a fake badge and all. The skin-tight outfit showed every bit of her assets.

  Tonight was the one night where the club would have both men and women perform—one
stage for the men and one for the women; the tips were always good when it came to competition; it was when all of the girls brought their best performances, and nothing was as hot as a police officer.

  “Come on Charlie,” said Summer, while grabbing her hand. “You have to see Kevin.”

  Following Summer’s lead, Charlie pulled on a robe and looked out behind the curtains. Charlie realized that the VIP bachelorette party was going according to plan. The women were busy tucking dollar bills into a male stripper’s thong as he shimmied and showed off his talents, while others did body shots of tequila off of another lovely male specimen. Tonight was going to be wild.

  Summer pointed out the soon-to-be bride, dressed in an outfit revealing her bought boobs and small waist, who had a sign posted on her back that said, “kiss the bride.”

  “She seems to take it literally,” Summer said. “She’s been kissing different men all night.”

  Charlie shifted her attention back to Kevin, the male stripper. His muscles gleamed, glistening under the dark lighting. His chocolate eyes promised fulfillment. “I think it’s been too long if I’m looking at him like he’s the last morsel on my plate,” Summer whispered.

  “I know,” Charlie agreed.

  “He’s a pretty boy.”

  “No, he’s not a pretty boy. He’s just pretty. Too pretty.”

  “Well, the ugly ones don’t treat you right either, so you might as well go for the pretty ones,” Summer deadpanned.

  Charlie tried to ignore the slight grimace on Summer’s face.

  “Uh-oh, here comes my song,” Charlie said and disappeared back behind the velvet panel. With the bass pumping, she slipped on her policeman’s hat and aviator sunglasses.

  Like every performance, she tried to think of other things and people but tonight she concentrated on performing the counterpart routine to what she’d seen the Latin stripper performing only minutes before.

  Her beautiful body swayed and twirled. Ripping away her skirt and shirt, revealing a bikini bottom and pasties, she gripped the metal pole in her hands. Pulling herself up, she wrapped her legs around it. Releasing her hands, she hung upside down. Dismounting, she kicked her legs up and out, holding the stance, arching her back.

  Finally, swaying her hips from side to side, she moved closer to her customers who were waving dollar bills at her. Hearing the last chorus line for the number, she back flipped toward the pole and again mounted it. Wrapping her leg around it, she then spun up, flipped, twisted, and turned, until she rested on the pole in a box split. The crowd hooted and hollered.

  “Let’s give it up for Sugar!” the D.J. announced, and the stage lights dimmed.

  With a last wave, Charlie picked up her clothes, marched to the back of the stage, and disappeared behind the stage curtain.

  Out of breath, Charlie turned the corner and ran into Shane. “I take it that performance wasn’t for me?” Shane asked, licking his lips.

  “I can’t be seen talking to you.” She looked around, making sure no prying eyes were near.

  Summer quickly headed past them, giving Charlie a wink and a smile.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “You’re in danger. Jesse is gunning for you. Why’d you stop by the house? It’s like you wanted a target on your back. You’re going to get us both killed.”

  “Jesse’s upset about us talking or something?” He grinned, and she desired nothing more than to hit him again. He didn’t seem to care what happened to anybody, especially her.

  “You don’t seem surprised by it,” she snapped. How was she supposed to tell him everything when he was being too much of a jerk to be receptive to anything she needed to say? It was as if he’d built up a wall over the years to block her out.

  “No, I hoped he’d be upset.”

  “I can’t deal with you right now,” she huffed. “I have only a couple of minutes to get dressed then get my ass out there to try and score a few lap dances.”

  “I’ll pay you for your time.”

  “Then it better be a lap dance where you can whisper into my ear. I don’t get paid for just sitting around and not performing.”

  Shane reached out to grab her hand.

  “Why don’t we meet up after you’re done? We have some catching up to do.”

  Charlie didn’t want him to know how much catching up really needed to be done and all of the secrets she had and needed to tell him; he was just as deep in the pile of crap.

  “More like the blind helping the blind,” she muttered.

  “Don’t mistake my invitation for more than it is. If I want to fuck someone, there are a lot of women who’d willingly join me in my bed. I don’t pay for it nor force it.”

  “Then why do you want to talk to me?”

  “I want to see how you’re doing. From the looks of it, you’re swallowing those tablets, and your male companion hasn’t been so nice.” He reached out and touched her jaw.

  She winced and pulled back.

  “What I do is none of your business. You walked away.”

  “But I want it to be. You can do better.”

  Charlie remained quiet. “All right. Meet me at 2. I get off then.”

  He smiled and she saw that lustful glint in his eyes. She wanted it to be real—real for her as a woman and not as a paid whore that he hoped to get to drop to her knees for a five or dime.

  “Just talking,” she continued and watched as he grabbed her cellphone off of her table and punched in a couple of numbers. She then heard his phone loudly vibrate in his pocket.

  “I wouldn’t have it any other way,” he said, leaning over, placing a peck on her cheek and returning her phone to the table. He smelled of sunshine and bliss, and if she’d been a betting woman, she’d have placed all of her money that he was the only option she had of getting out.

  16

  “Talking to the talent, huh?” Jesse asked once Shane took a seat back at the table. “How long have you known Charlie?”

  Shane watched as Jesse’s eyes squinted. It was easier to attack when someone was in such an emotional haze as not to see the coup coming. “What’s it to you? Are you and Charlie a couple or something?”

  Jesse flexed his neck. “We’re friends, and I like making sure my friends are taken care of. She’s special and not just anyone gets close to her, at least not on my watch.”

  “So, what are you telling me? I’m not supposed to spend time with her?”

  “No man, but before you can do that, I think you have a test to pass first. You need to prove yourself to the family and me.”

  “I thought I did that.”

  “By driving that bullshit truck? No. Don’t be so uptight about it, but I need a body.”

  “A body?” Shane frowned. What would Jesse need a body for? Were they transporting drugs in cadavers?

  “It’s simple. You bring me a body, and I’ll give you two my blessings.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “It goes like this, we need a body—fresh—and once we get one, I’ll show you what we do, but first the body and then more details.”

  Shane wasn’t sure if what he was hearing was the result of too much alcohol and loose lips or if Jesse was serious in his request, or order.

  “And if I don’t?”

  “One way or another I’ll get a body to use. Either yours, hers, or one you provide.” With the mentioning of Charlie, Shane noticed Jesse’s volatility.

  “Should I ask why you need one?”

  “Why, so you can run and tell the police? Nah, I don’t have that trust for you yet. I want to make sure that the face you are showing me is really you. If you want to be one of us, then you need to figure out if you are going to be a willing participant; or do we need to go out back and settle it?” Shane heard the chamber of a gun being pulled back and suddenly felt it in his side.

  “You know, where I come from you don’t point a gun at someone unless you’re willing to pull the trigger.”

  “So tell me, Shane, is
this when I pull the trigger or when you go and do my bidding?”

  17

  Nothing said scared like smelling symbolic shit in your pants.

  Shane tried not to think about the lunacy of Jesse’s request, let alone the logistics of how he was going to solve the problem. In all of his undercover gigs, he’d never had to pull off a magic trick.

  This could be a huge mistake, but Shane needed to jump through a hoop. Pulling out into traffic, he kept looking in the rearview and side mirrors as a white Volkswagen Jetta continued to follow his every turn.

  Speeding through the heavily trafficked Laburnum Avenue and Mechanicsville Turnpike intersection traffic light, he made a sharp turn heading toward Sandston, away from the city. He wouldn’t have much time before the car continued after him.

  He cursed at his stupidity, hitting the steering wheel. It wouldn’t be long before someone else in the family came looking for him.

  Opening the middle console, he quickly tossed out everything inside until he reached the false bottom, where he located a nondescript cellphone. Pressing in his password and a programmed number, with the phone on speaker, he anxiously waited for someone to pick up.

  “Hobbes,” he almost yelled. “I need your help. I need a dead body or two.”

  “How’d you figure that?”

  “I don’t know what Jesse’s into and why he needs a body, but between Charlie’s warning and this crazy request, this is a test I can’t fail.”

  “She warned you? Then we need to pull you out. This is too dangerous.”

  “I’m so close to getting what I need. We pull out now, and we lose everything we’ve gained over the last few months.”

  Hobbes paused. “Is someone following you?”

  “Of course. You don’t think I’d be calling out of breath if this was just a Sunday stroll through the goddamn park, do you?”

  Hobbes chuckled. “Good. I know a way to make this work. Marie is working on Chamberlayne Avenue. Go pick her up. As fate would have it, we got a body in that hasn’t been claimed at the morgue.”