An Undeniable Secret (Amish Secrets--Book 4)

by J. E. B. Spredemann

“Would you like to take a walk before we go?”

  “Jah, Elam. That sounds gut.”

  Elam left the horse tied to the hitching post and came alongside Saloma.

  “Let’s walk along the pasture.” Elam held out his palm, seeking permission to take her hand. Saloma nodded and quietly placed her hand in his.

  “It’s a nice night, jah?”

  Elam smiled. “The weather is nice, jah but I don’t care to talk about it.”

  Saloma had suspected he had something on his mind this evening. She was right.

  He stopped in mid-stride and turned to her. “I want to talk about us.” His finger gently outlined her jaw. “Saloma, do you see a future…with me?”

  She swallowed hard. “I…I…” Honestly, she didn’t know what to say.

  Elam stepped close, his gaze simmering with desire. “You’re everything I’ve ever wanted.”

  Saloma wanted to speak, to say something, when Elam’s lips lowered onto hers. His kiss was soft and filled with emotion, but…

  “Elam,” – she broke away – “I’m sorry. I’m not ready.”

  He nodded in understanding. “I’ll wait for you, Saloma. It doesn’t matter how long it takes you to get over him. I’m willing to wait.”

  A breeze came up, and she shivered slightly.

  Elam quickly slipped his jacket off and placed it around her shoulders. “Is that better?”

  She nodded.

  “Come on. Let’s get you home.”

  “Denki for understanding, Elam.”

  He shook his head. “You’re a fine woman, Saloma. Any man would be blessed to have you as an aldi…or a fraa.”

  Any man except Will.

  <><><>

  Will quickly buttoned his navy dress shirt and tucked the tails into his trousers. He grabbed his Bible and keys from the small dresser near his bed and headed to the dining room.

  His uncle glanced up as he sipped his coffee.

  “Uncle George, won’t you come to church with me this morning?”

  “No, thank you.”

  “Why?”

  He frowned. “I have my reasons.”

  “Will you never tell me what they are?”

  “It’s complicated.”

  “Is there somebody at church you’re trying to avoid? Because, if that’s the case, there are other churches you can attend.”

  “William, you’re going to be late if you don’t leave soon.”

  “My dad was your best friend, right?”

  Uncle George nodded.

  “And he was a preacher.”

  “That’s correct.”

  “But his best friend won’t attend church? How does that make sense?”

  “I have my grievances.”

  Now he was getting somewhere! “With God?”

  His uncle sighed. “I’d rather not discuss this.”

  “But it’s important. I want to make sense out of all this. How can I when you won’t even tell me what’s wrong?”

  “This doesn’t concern you, William.”

  “Of course, it does. You’re my uncle. I care about you. I love you.”

  Tears pricked his uncle’s eyes – something Will had never seen. “Sometimes I wish I had the faith your father had. He was a strong man.”

  Will nodded.

  “Do you know when I last attended church?”

  Will shook his head. “I just know I was young.”

  “It was about a year after your brother died. I guess you can say I lost faith.”

  “Because of my brother’s death?”

  “That was part of it, for sure.” Uncle George sucked in a breath. “William, do you know how your brother died?”

  “He got sick, right?”

  “He was perfectly healthy. Your mother had taken him to the doctor for his well-baby checkup, where he received his vaccinations. She brought him home and he became fussy. His fever started to climb, so your mother called the doctor’s office. They told her to give him some children’s fever medication, and she did as they’d recommended. Nothing helped. She tried giving him a bath to bring his fever down, tried to keep him hydrated. Poor little Christopher screamed; he was in obvious pain. There was nothing we could do. He died the next day.”

  “Do you think the shots killed him?”

  “There’s no doubt in my mind.” He scowled. “Your poor mother. She’d already been through so much. She didn’t deserve to have to suffer this too. I wanted to find answers for her. I wanted to somehow make things right.”

  “What did you do?”

  “I’m a lawyer. I did what any good lawyer would do. I wanted justice. I researched for months, questioned others who’d had children injured or had died in the same manner. I found out the ugly truth. These kind of reactions aren’t as rare as they claim.”

  “But I thought immunizations are supposed to protect you from disease.”

  “In theory. And I’m not saying all vaccines are bad. The concept in itself isn’t necessarily evil, and I don’t believe the doctors are either. You can’t blame them. They’re just trying to make a living like the rest of us. It’s how they go about manufacturing the vaccines. Some of them contain mercury, aluminum, and formaldehyde. Do you have any idea how dangerous these are to the human body?”

  “Not really, but I’ve heard they aren’t good.”

  “Well, to make a long story short, we went to court and lost, although the evidence I presented was irrefutable. I don’t know what I was thinking, going up against a multi-billion dollar pharmaceutical company. I guess I thought there might be some justice in the world still. How wrong I was.”

  “I never knew all this.”

  “We didn’t see any point in telling you. Besides, you were too young to understand at the time.”

  “So that’s why you stopped going to church?”

  “Tell me something, William. If God is so big and all powerful, why didn’t He protect your brother? Why did He make your mother go through all that heartbreak, especially after what Elam did to her? Why didn’t He, at the very least, let us win the case?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

  “But I do know that we can trust God. I do know that someday God will bring justice and judgement on the evildoers. I know that the Bible says that God is angry with the wicked every day. And I know that God loves you. And me. And He loved Christopher and Mom just as much. Who can know the mind of God? Nobody can. But I know that I’d much rather trust Him than live my life for the devil and add to the wickedness of this world.

  “Like you said, there’s already too much evil in the world. Everything we do affects someone else, whether we realize it or not. What we need to ask ourselves is do we want to influence others for good or evil? Do I want to complain about all that’s evil in the world, or will I do my best to show others the love God has for them?

  “The way I see it is it’s like a movie. We are only watching one scene out of hundreds, or thousands even, but the power goes off before we have a chance to see the end. We see one little part and complain that the movie doesn’t make sense or it was over before it ended. We don’t see the part where the blind man finally sees. We don’t see the underprivileged child rising above his circumstances to become the world’s next genius. But God, He sees the whole entire thing, and He knows how it ends. And He promises that it will work out well for those who love and trust Him. He promises that it will be worth it all. The question is, do we trust Him? Do we believe that He will do what He says He will do?”

  Uncle George placed a hand on Will’s shoulder. “You make me proud, William. And I’m certain your father would be proud too. You will make a fine counselor.”

  Will waited.

  Uncle George sighed. “You’re right. I’ve been putting the blame where it shouldn’t be. I just…I feel like such a failure.”

  Will’s eyes widened. “You, Uncle George? I’ve never seen a more successful person. Just because you lo
st the case doesn’t mean it was your fault. You tried your best, didn’t you?”

  “You bet I did.”

  “Then there was nothing more you could have done.” He lightly touched his uncle’s forearm. “You need to give this to God. Let Him handle it.”

  Uncle George nodded.

  “May I pray with you?” Will didn’t know how his uncle would react. They’d never prayed together before.

  “Sure.”

  Chapter 25

  “I have a request.”

  Uncle George cocked a brow. “Yes, William?”

  “May we invite my Amish family over for Thanksgiving dinner?”

  His uncle’s mouth turned down, and he rubbed his forehead. “Do you really want to?”

  “I think it would be great.” Will smiled.

  Uncle George sighed. “If it makes you happy, William.” His gaze pierced Will’s. “Will you invite Saloma?”

  Will had been considering this very thing. It would certainly be difficult to see Sally, but he was resigned to God’s will, whatever that may be for them. And since a romantic relationship was impossible, they were eventually going to have to come to terms with being siblings.

  “Yes, I’d like to invite Sally.”

  “Are you sure, William? It’ll be difficult for you to see her.”

  Will nodded. “I’m aware of that fact, but I also know that we will have to face each other sooner or later.”

  “Very well. I will inform Marita.”

  “Thanks, Uncle George.” Will smiled.

  <><><>

  Saloma folded Will’s letter and sighed.

  “Between you and me, I think you should go.”

  She stared into Elam’s eyes. “You…you would want me to go?”

  “Saloma, the sooner you get over him, the quicker I can have your heart. Yes, go.”

  Saloma shook her head. “But what if…”

  “It can only be a good thing. It’s not like you’re going to kiss your brother or anything.”

  “You’re right. And I miss my family so much.”

  “Just don’t miss them so much that you stay there. I want you to come back to me.” He gently tilted her chin toward him and searched her eyes. “Okay?”

  She swallowed. Was he going to kiss her? “Okay.”

  Elam lightly caressed her cheek then dropped his hand. “Gut. I’ll be waiting for you, Saloma Troyer.”

  <><><>

  Dear Will,

  I appreciate your invitation to Thanksgiving dinner, however, I’m unsure if I may attend. Please ask your uncle if this is okay. I guess I can tell you now. Your uncle and I made an agreement that I would move away and not return to see you. I also was not to say anything about us being siblings – a fact that your uncle informed me of. In exchange for my agreement to his request, he agreed to let my mother and sisters stay in the house. I thought this was a good agreement, especially since finding out that we are related. Now that you know, there is no secret. But I don’t want my mamm and sisters to lose the house because of me returning home. If you could talk to your uncle to be certain it is okay, I would appreciate it.

  Goodbye,

  Sally

  Will hastily wrote back to Sally.

  Dear Sally,

  Don’t worry about Uncle George; he is different now. I can assure you that your mother and sisters will not lose their home. Please come.

  Will

  <><><>

  George scribbled notes as he scrolled down the page of his computer – research for his current case. He normally didn’t take cases unless he was confident he could win them. And he had won the majority of them, all except the one that really mattered. But William was correct, he’d been nursing his wounds entirely too long and it was time to let go of the bitterness he harbored in his heart.

  He sighed and reverently bowed his head. Okay, Lord. You can have this. Please free me from this guilt, this weight that has sat on my shoulders for what seems like forever. Help me to be the father figure William needs.

  As he lifted his head, he remembered the letter William had asked about. He walked to his confidential file and unlocked it. His sister’s file wasn’t the only thing he’d kept in this cabinet; he’d also kept the documents from Christopher’s case.

  He lifted the file and thumbed through it. Tears pricked his eyes, than began to flow freely. I’m sorry, Christopher. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to vindicate your death. I failed you and your mother. I should have fought harder. Please forgive me.

  “Christopher is with Me, now.”

  George’s head snapped up like a jack-in-the-box. Where had the words come from? He glanced around his office. What on earth? He was certain he’d heard a voice, clear as day.

  “God, are you speaking to me?” George looked up, as though he’d be able to see Heaven.

  Silence.

  He sighed and placed the file back into the cabinet. That’s when he noticed it. He reached into the drawer and pulled out a lone envelope that lay hidden under the other file folders. This has to be it.

  George stared at the handwriting – his sister’s. For William it read.

  Thank you, God. He breathed the silent prayer and jumped from his seat.

  “William! William!” he called down the hall.

  Will’s bedroom door opened and he emerged in his plaid lounge pants and a t-shirt. He wiped his eyes. “What is it?”

  George glanced down at his watch. Five thirty. “Sorry, to wake you, son. But I found it.”

  Will shook his head, obviously still on the verge of awakening. “Found what?” He yawned.

  “The letter, I think. I’m not sure, but it’s in your mother’s handwriting and your name is on it. I didn’t open it.”

  “Just a minute.” George watched as Will disappeared into the bathroom and returned a moment later. His face looked like he’d just stuck it under the faucet, although he’d dried most of the water. “Now, I’m awake.”

  George smiled. “Good. Open it.”

  “Why do you seem so excited about this? Is there something in here I don’t know about?”

  He shook his head. “I have absolutely no idea what’s in there, but I have a good feeling about it. I’ve been praying.” He grinned.

  “Okay.” Will shrugged, then eyed his uncle curiously. “You’ve been praying?”

  George nodded in satisfaction. “Yes, you can say God and I had a little chat.”

  Will’s brow raised.

  “It doesn’t matter. Just get on with the letter. Aren’t you at all curious?”

  <><><>

  Will took a deep breath and eyed his uncle, who seemed just as curious as he was. Honestly, he’d rather open his letter in the privacy of his own bedroom, but he didn’t want to disappoint his uncle.

  “Let’s sit in the library,” he suggested.

  Uncle George turned his head. “You know what? I think I’ll have Marita make us some coffee.”

  Will nodded and watched his uncle disappear from the room.

  He looked down at the envelope in his hands and noted his mother’s now-familiar handwriting. Would its contents help him move on with his life, or would it bring more disappointment?

  He plopped down onto the library’s sofa and reached for the pen on the small table adjacent to it. Will slid the pen under the envelope’s flap and reached for the contents. He looked down at an old photo of his mother and a man. He quickly turned it over. Mr. and Mrs. Elam Troyer.

  So, this is my father. He stared down at the photo and his heart filled with emotion…sadness. His parents’ tale had been tragic indeed. He examined the picture, hoping to identify traits in himself. Rosemary was correct, he did somewhat favor his father. He had his eyes, just as his mother had written. But Sally hadn’t seemed to notice. Had Elam changed that much over the years?

  He reached for the one thing remaining in the envelope. A note in his mother’s handwriting was attached to the outside of the smaller envelope. William, this is a letter yo
ur father sent to me years after Peter and I were happily married. I never opened it, so I do not know what it says. I don’t need to. Somehow, I feel the words are meant for you. Love, your mother

  In a way, he dreaded opening the letter. What if the words contained therein were words he’d rather not hear?

  “Well, what does it say?” Uncle George entered the library with two steaming mugs. He handed one to Will.

  In exchange, Will handed him the letter.

  His uncle’s eyes roamed the note his mother had written then he turned the envelope over. “It’s not open.” Uncle George frowned.

  Will sighed. “I know.”

  His uncle handed the envelope back and Will gave him the picture. “Yep. That’s your father, all right.” He nodded, then shook his head. He handed the photo back.

  Will stared at his uncle. “I’m thinking of not opening it,” he admitted.

  “Why not?”

  He shrugged. “I don’t know. If Mom didn’t open it…I mean, it was written to her.”

  “True. But she kept it for you.”

  “You’re right.” He took a breath and slid his finger under the flap.

  He silently read the words penned to his mother many years ago.

  Will sat mesmerized for several minutes, staring at the letter in his hands. He shook his head. “I can’t believe this.”

  “What? What does it say?”

  Will handed the letter to his uncle and watched his reaction as he read the words.

  His uncle’s gaze pierced his. “Oh, wow, William. I had no idea.”

  Chapter 26

  Will hadn’t originally planned on picking up Sally at the train station, but Uncle George had said he wouldn’t be able to do it today. Fortunately, the Lancaster station wasn’t too far from the house, and they wouldn’t have to be in the car alone together for too long. Seeing Sally again would be bittersweet, to say the least.