The Army Doc's Secret Princess

by Emily Forbes

  ‘I’m not interested in fame and fortune.’

  ‘And this wasn’t about keeping a secret from you; I was keeping it from everyone.’

  ‘I didn’t think I was just anyone.’

  ‘You are right. I should have told you, but I did not want it to change the way you felt about me. I wanted you to get to know the real me. I wanted you to see me. I wanted you to lo...to like me without knowing that I am a princess.’

  ‘You can’t pretend not to be who you are. There are two sides to you. You can’t separate them.’

  ‘I wanted some freedom to just be me, Viktoria. Being a princess is only a title. I just wanted to be the same as everyone else.’

  ‘But, at the end of the day, you’re not, are you?’

  ‘I am still me.’

  ‘And who is that?’

  She wasn’t sure any more. She had thought she’d enjoy pretending to be a commoner and, at the end of the adventure, she’d be ready to return home, back to the life of a princess. Back to her duty. She had made a promise to her parents, but she’d never imagined that she’d want to change her mind. That she might not want to return.

  But what was the alternative? Could she seriously imagine staying in Australia? Giving up everything she knew?

  She didn’t know what to tell him, so she said nothing.

  ‘You talk about trust,’ Cam said, ‘yet you didn’t trust me enough to tell me who you are. You should have been honest with me. You should have trusted me like I trusted you. I confided in you, but you couldn’t confide in me. Or you chose not to. I have told you things about myself that no one else knows and you’ve told me half-truths.’

  ‘Non! Everything I have told you about myself is true. I am a daughter, a sister, an aunt. I have a marketing degree and I do spend my time at charity events and handing out trophies. I have not lied to you.’

  ‘But you haven’t been completely honest either.’

  ‘No. But I wanted to forget I was a princess. With you I felt like Viktoria and that was what I wanted. You made me happy. I hoped I was making you happy too.’

  ‘I don’t deserve to be happy.’

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  ‘EVERYONE DESERVES TO be happy,’ Viktoria told him.

  But Cam disagreed. ‘No. Not me. I don’t get to be happy.’

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘Why should I get to be happy? When Gemma is dead.’

  ‘I realise I did not know her, but I cannot imagine she would not want you to be happy. The incident was not your fault. You didn’t fire the missile. Whoever did that is the one who killed her. Who almost killed you.’

  ‘But if it wasn’t for me, she wouldn’t have been there.’

  ‘That was not your decision. That was hers. That was her job. You told me she felt it was her duty. I know what that is like and I am sure you do too. You cannot blame yourself for that.’

  ‘Maybe not, but I should have saved her. Even if I couldn’t have stopped her from flying, I was there and I should have saved her. And I couldn’t. I’m a doctor. It’s my job to save lives. And I let her die.’

  ‘What about the other people who were in the chopper with you? Do you feel the same responsibility for them?’

  ‘No.’

  As a doctor, Cam knew that there was nothing he could have done for them. They’d most likely been dead before they’d hit the ground and, with no functioning equipment and with his extensive injuries, he couldn’t have helped them.

  ‘Well, is it not the same for Gemma?’

  ‘No.’ He shook his head. ‘My Hippocratic Oath is to do no harm. That’s different from promising to be there for her always. We were a couple, we were engaged. I promised to protect her—to look after her—and I let her down.’

  ‘Cam, you have to forgive yourself. You have to give yourself permission to move on. You are living a half-life, afraid to let people in. That is no way to live. I should know. It is rare that I am able to be my true self. That is one of the things I have loved about spending time with you, and the reason I did not tell you everything about me. I wanted to be free to live my life, and you should do the same.’

  She was most likely right but that didn’t mean he was ready to change his ways. Because of Gemma, he was prepared to connect physically with people but not emotionally. His heart was hardened now. He wasn’t afraid he’d get hurt, he wasn’t afraid of letting people in; he was afraid of letting people down.

  ‘Your guilt is stopping you from being happy,’ she said. ‘It is not my fault I am a princess. It is not your fault Gemma died. We can choose to live our lives the best we can, or we can choose to give up. It was Gemma’s choice to fly that day. It was her duty. You are not to blame.’

  He knew Viktoria was right. Gemma had been all about her duty. He supposed Viktoria was the same.

  ‘I understand you have suffered trauma and a terrible loss,’ she continued, ‘but that does not mean you cannot care about people. I have seen you with your sister, your friends, with Rex. I have heard you talk about your work. I know you care about these people, these things—do you think you could care about me?’

  He did care about her, but he didn’t want to. That was his dilemma. He knew Viktoria’s sense of duty would mean the end of their relationship. He knew her sense of duty would take her away from him, just as Gemma’s had done. And there was nothing he could do about it. He couldn’t be a part of her life. He wasn’t right for her; she didn’t need someone damaged, someone disillusioned. She needed someone who could fit into her royal life, and he knew for certain that wasn’t him. He didn’t know how to be a royal. And she wasn’t asking him to try. She knew as well as he did they didn’t have a future, that he wasn’t suitable.

  Their relationship was never going to last. It was always going to end. It was probably better that it ended now.

  ‘I have to go,’ he said. He didn’t want to go but he couldn’t stay either.

  Viktoria was the first person he had felt a connection to since Gemma died, but that didn’t mean they could make it work.

  Cam thanked the waiter as he put a plate of seared tuna in front of him.

  He was one of thirty guests seated around a table at a dinner hosted by Prince Alfred. He had invited them to dinner in a private dining room in one of Sydney’s five-star restaurants as a personal thank you to the Australian members of the Legion’s Games Committee. There were two days of competition remaining and, while Cam appreciated the invitation, he was attending under sufferance and at Doug’s insistence.

  Viktoria was seated at the other end of the table, diagonally opposite him. He could see her but he couldn’t have a conversation with her. He hadn’t spoken to her since he’d bumped into her at the hospital. He didn’t know what to say.

  She looked amazing. But her eyes looked sad.

  Had he done that to her?

  Had he been foolish?

  Should he have ignored the fact that she was a princess? Would there really have been any harm in continuing to see her for a few more days?

  Maybe no harm but also no point. She couldn’t leave her life. She had a duty. And what could he possibly offer her?

  He couldn’t fit in to her world.

  She’d said they could be happy together, but he’d meant it when he said he didn’t deserve to be happy.

  He told himself it had never been serious, but that didn’t explain why he still felt distraught at the idea that it was over.

  He sighed and cut into his tuna. It looked superb and he was sure it was delicious, but he had no appetite. Prince Alfred was seated three chairs away and Cam noticed he didn’t seem to be enjoying his dinner either.

  A sheen of perspiration shone on the Prince’s forehead.

  ‘Are you all right, Your Highness?’

  The Prince had his hand pressed to his stomach, his fingers probin
g. ‘I’ve had a bit of abdominal pain today. I think I might have strained a muscle when I did that rowing challenge yesterday.’

  Viktoria had organised for Prince Alfred to race against some of the rowers as a publicity and morale-boosting exercise.

  Cam thought his explanation sounded plausible until he saw the Prince wince and gasp with pain as all the colour drained from his face. That looked far too painful to be a pulled muscle. The Prince’s fingers had been pressing over the right side of his stomach and Cam had a suspicion that he was suffering from something more sinister than a muscle strain.

  ‘Would you mind if I took a look, Your Highness? Just in case it’s not muscular.’

  Cam was aware by now that they had the attention of most of the table. There was a small bar area adjacent the private dining room where they had gathered for pre-dinner drinks and he recalled seeing a few small couches in that space. ‘Perhaps we could go to the room next door?’

  Beads of sweat broke out on the Prince’s forehead as he stood. He winced when he took a step, putting his weight on his right foot.

  Doug had left his seat and was beside Cam. ‘Can I help? What do you need?’

  ‘Just keep everyone in here for now. I’ll let you know,’ Cam replied as he put one hand under the Prince’s elbow to support some of his weight without making it look like the Prince was in need of his assistance.

  Cam was aware that Viktoria was standing too. She ignored Doug’s instructions and followed them out into the small bar area.

  She stood behind Cam as he got the Prince to lie on the sofa. Cam couldn’t see her, she wasn’t in his way but she was in his head. He could smell her perfume and he knew the scent of gardenias would always remind him of her.

  He tried to block her presence out so he could concentrate on examining the Prince.

  He placed the back of one hand on the Prince’s forehead, feeling for a temperature, although he could tell by looking at him that he was feverish.

  ‘You have pain when you’re walking?’

  The Prince nodded.

  ‘Any nausea?’

  Another nod.

  ‘I’m just going to press on your stomach,’ Cam said. ‘Is that okay?’

  A third nod. The Prince was clammy, pale and in obvious distress. Cam pressed his fingers gently over the Prince’s abdomen, over the lower right quadrant. As he released the pressure the Prince grimaced and complained.

  Cam turned to Viktoria. ‘Do you think you could ask Doug to come out here?’

  ‘What is wrong?’ Viktoria asked.

  Cam turned back to the Prince, giving him his suspected diagnosis. ‘I take it you have never had your appendix removed?’

  The Prince shook his head.

  ‘I think you have appendicitis. I am going to call an ambulance and take you to hospital. I think we need to investigate this.’ Cam pulled his phone from his pocket as Viktoria went to fetch Doug. He dialled the ambulance; he’d get Doug to explain what had happened to the Prince’s guests. He had other priorities.

  ‘Right now?’ The Prince could barely get the words out.

  ‘Yes. I don’t want to wait. If your appendix bursts, you’ll be in a world of trouble. It’s too big a risk.’ Cam wasn’t about to take a chance with a royal life.

  Cam and Viktoria followed the ambulance to North Sydney Hospital. Cam made some phone calls on the way, calling in favours, getting the best surgeons on the job.

  The Prince was whisked away on arrival, leaving Cam and Viktoria waiting for news.

  It was not as straightforward as they had hoped.

  Appendicitis was confirmed but while he was being prepped for Theatre his appendix burst, meaning he needed open abdominal surgery instead of the less invasive laparoscopic procedure. A burst appendix could be life-threatening.

  ‘What do I tell Auntie Ingrid?’

  ‘Who?’

  ‘Fred’s mother.’

  ‘Tell her he has excellent surgeons operating on him and that you’ll call with an update as soon as he is out of Theatre.’

  ‘Will you wait with me?’

  ‘Yes.’ He had no intention of leaving her to wait on her own. ‘Tell me about your family,’ he said, hoping to distract her. ‘You have spent a lot of time with your cousins?’

  Viktoria nodded. ‘We spent our holidays together every year. We would go skiing and usually spent summer together as well. My cousins are similar ages to my brothers and me. Freddie and I are the babies but he is eighteen months older than me. He has always been protective of me.’

  ‘And now? You’re still close, obviously.’

  ‘We are. I think it is because it was always hard to know who to trust. To know who wanted to be friends because of the family we were born into rather than because of who we are. We could trust each other. We relied on each other. He will be okay, oui?’

  ‘He’s in the best place, in the best hands.’

  ‘How long will he be in hospital?’

  ‘A couple of days, I should think. It will be important to make sure there is no infection.’

  ‘But there are only two days left of the Games.’

  ‘I think it’s safe to say he will miss the rest.’

  She went quiet.

  ‘He’ll be fine.’

  ‘I know. I believe you. I was just thinking about all the things Freddie is scheduled to do over the next two days. Handing out the medals, making a speech at the closing ceremony.’

  ‘Someone else will have to take over.’

  ‘I know,’ she sighed.

  ‘Will that be you?’

  ‘Most likely. It is what I do. I cannot seem to get away from handing out trophies and making speeches. I have enjoyed my anonymity, but I always knew it would not last. But I had hoped I could make it through my last two days here.’ She shrugged.

  ‘Two days?’ He hadn’t actually confirmed exactly when she was leaving. He hadn’t wanted to think about it.

  ‘Oui. I leave the day after the Games.’

  ‘So soon?’

  She nodded. ‘I have to go home. My father has been Prince for twenty-five years. There are big celebrations planned, starting in five days. I have to be there. You could come with me?’

  ‘To Berggrun?’

  She nodded.

  ‘I don’t think so.’

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘I don’t think that’s a world I’d be comfortable in.’

  ‘You cannot make that decision without experiencing it.’

  He shook his head. Viktoria had a duty and he didn’t begrudge that but, like Gemma, her duty was to more than her job. It was to her country.

  He couldn’t compete with that.

  CHAPTER NINE

  VIKTORIA WAS BACK at the hospital first thing the following morning. She was beginning to feel as if she was seeing more of Sydney’s hospitals than anything else. But the surgeon was confident that Freddie would be fine and that was the important thing, she reminded herself as she pushed open the door to his room.

  ‘Bonjour! How are you feeling today? Good?’

  ‘I wouldn’t say “good”. I’m still really sore but apparently that is now from the surgery, so I suppose that’s a positive.’

  ‘And when can you get out of here?’

  ‘Not until tomorrow at the earliest. I still have a slight temperature and the doctors want to make sure there is no infection. Which means I have a favour to ask you.’

  Viktoria knew what was coming. ‘You want me to hand out the medals?’

  ‘Yes. But I also might need you to give my closing ceremony speech.’

  ‘But that is not until tomorrow!’

  ‘I know. But, just as a precaution, could you familiarise yourself with it?’

  Viktoria nodded. ‘If you will be in hospital until tomorrow wi
ll you be allowed to fly the day after that?’ Freddie was supposed to be leaving with her. He was also expected at her father’s celebrations.

  ‘No. I’ll have to delay my trip by a couple of days.’

  ‘You cannot fly back with me?’

  ‘No. Can you stay longer? It might give you a chance to sort things out with Campbell.’

  Viktoria had told Freddie the details of her latest woes. To his credit he hadn’t reminded her that he’d warned her the decision to keep her identity a secret might not be the wisest choice and she knew he was trying to be supportive.

  She shook her head. ‘I promised my parents I would be home in time for the preparations for the celebrations. I need to go. Plus, there is nothing to sort out. It was never going to be anything more than a holiday romance.’

  She had been trying to convince herself of that, but she couldn’t let go of the feeling that it could have been more. But that was obviously only her perception. Cam wanted nothing to do with her.

  ‘I’m sorry, Viktoria.’

  ‘It is okay. I think I was kidding myself. Thinking we could have a proper relationship. It is just that I felt I could be my true self with him. Not a royal. Just Viktoria.’

  ‘But at some point he had to know the truth.’

  ‘I know,’ she sighed. ‘I just wish he could see past that.’

  ‘Are you sure there’s no way of making it work?’

  ‘I am sure. Our timing is not right. He is not ready. And I cannot wait for him to be ready. That may never happen, and I do not have the luxury of time.’

  ‘Is he worth waiting for? Do you think he could be the one?’

  Was it possible? Could it be?

  ‘I do not know. If I am honest there are so many hurdles. He will not let go of his guilt and I cannot let go of who I am. I cannot let go of my duty. You know my parents are expecting to announce my engagement on my return.’

  ‘Would you give it up for him if he asked you to?’

  ‘If he was the person I want him to be he would not ask me to.’